


A Storm's Gonna Come

by Anna (adoring_audience)



Series: A Storm's Gonna Come Universe [1]
Category: Queer as Folk US
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-28
Updated: 2011-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-16 00:25:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 86,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoring_audience/pseuds/Anna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years post-513. This story is anti-angst medication. Nothing bad ever happens here (that’s not completely true, but it’s definitely kept to a minimum).</p><div class="center">
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
    <p>      <a href="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/adoringaudience/25391511/756/756_original.png">
        <img/></a><br/></p>
  </div>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: A big, fat Thank You to silvaofhope who is an amazing beta!  
> A/N2: I tried to get the medical facts right, but I’m well aware that I took some liberties here and there due to this being a work of fiction – so, please, don’t throw stones.  
> Disclaimer: I’ve read somewhere that, since disclaimers have no legal footing, they’re merely an expression of the author’s guilt. *hmmm* I don’t feel guilty.

Present, September 2010

Brian dipped his head into the mass of blond locks spread over his chest, inhaling deeply the delicious scent. He shifted a little under the lightweight on his upper body. He breathed in the pristine fragrance one more time before lowering his head on the pillow and getting comfortable for the night, when he heard the indignant huffing sound beside him. He turned his head to the left, meeting blue eyes.

“Sunshine, are you jealous?” Brian asked with an amused smirk.

“No.” Justin stretched the ‘o’ and squinted his eyes, the subtext clearly screaming ‘What on earth gave you _that_ idea?!’ Justin glared at him with a sullen expression, propped up on an elbow, “She loves _you_ more.” He pouted his lips, fully aware that it made him look like a spoiled child.

Brian just laughed, amused. “It’s the Kinney charm. Works on all the Taylors. Without fail.”

Justin couldn’t help but grin. True.

Justin burrowed his head into the softness of his pillow, closed his eyes contently, ready to let sleep overtake him. He felt Brian move slightly beside him and opened his eyes again when Brian took his hand. Brian looked at him with a slightly wondrous look on his face and this small silent smile, as though he couldn’t quite believe what his life had led him to.

Brian gave Justin’s hand a soft squeeze and placed it, palm down, on his stomach, just under his heart, where Emma’s cheek was pressed against Brian’s skin. Brian let his own hand rest over Justin’s and, after another faint smile, finally allowed himself to fall asleep.

The day had been exhausting and Justin expected tomorrow to be emotionally draining as well, yet he lay awake. He couldn’t quite bring himself to stop watching the man in his bed. Brian looked peaceful and relaxed in his sleep. And Justin smiled at the thought of how much he had changed since the first night, when they met outside of Babylon. And smirked even more at the thought of how much Brian still was the same. The differences were subtle, and, Justin suspected, only apparent to him because he was so in tune with Brian’s mindset.

The most noticeable change was in the kind of energy that radiated off Brian. The haunted quality of it was gone almost completely, replaced by enthusiasm and determination, all overlain with a sense of the contentment of a person who has found his place. Occasionally, doubts would still re-emerge but in the big picture Brian was his rock, and Justin often found himself feeding off of Brian’s vitality, like when a piece he was working on would take on a life of its own and Justin would feel restless until it was finished.

Justin moved his fingers slightly. When Brian didn’t stir, he pulled his hand carefully from underneath Brian’s and caressed Emma’s cheek tenderly with one digit before slipping his hand under Brian’s again. He took in the image of his partner and daughter once more and couldn’t help whispering quietly into the dark, “Mine.” Letting his eyes rest on Emma’s hand balled into a tiny fist underneath her chin, Justin let his thoughts stray. What Justin remembered the most of that night was the rush.

 

>>><<<

  
August 2009

It was only early evening but Brian and Justin were already in bed. They had come back from Spain mere hours before where Justin had had a solo exhibition in Barcelona. It wasn’t so much the jet lag than the exhaustion from a delayed flight, and the more intimate events following their arrival home, that knocked both of them out.

They didn’t even bother unpacking when the taxi pulled up to Britin, but left their luggage in the foyer, tiredly making it up the stairs before Justin fell face first into bed, almost fully clothed.

“You tired, little boy?” Brian asked seductively, but with a tired undertone to his normally energetic voice.

Justin lifted his head and squinted through his eyes, “Depends on what you have in mind, old man.” He gave Brian a mischievous grin and rolled over, so he was lying on his back. Justin watched as Brian crawled over him like a large cat, a predatory glance in his eyes.

Brian straddled Justin’s hips and pinned his hands down with one of his own. He lowered his head and licked across Justin’s full lips once. When Justin raised his head to intensify the kiss, Brian pulled back. With his free hand, Brian reached down to Justin’s crotch, gave it a light squeeze and opened first the jeans’ button then pulled down the zipper.

Brian reached inside Justin’s pants and pulled out his only half-hard member. Brian gave it a few firm strokes to bring it to full hardness and let go, leaving it erect and exposed between Justin’s opened fly. Justin groaned in protest.

Brian again lowered his head to bring his lips down on Justin’s, pushing his tongue roughly between Justin’s lips and teeth, but pulling back as soon as Justin started sucking on it. He nibbled on Justin’s lips but jerked his face sideways when Justin started to respond to the kiss. Justin was desperate. He couldn’t figure out what Brian’s game was. When Brian pressed his lips roughly on Justin’s again and thrust inside with his tongue, he thrust his still jeans clad hips against Justin’s exposed hardness.

Brian grinded his pelvis a few times against Justin’s cock, then pulled his hips back and thrust again, hard. All the time sucking fiercely on Justin’s lips. Justin wailed. The rough denim of Brian’s jeans on his very sensitive cock was pushing him fast towards the edge.

With his wrists still held firmly down by Brian’s hands, his lips occupied by Brian’s mouth, and his hips pinned down by Brian’s weight, Justin was unable to move or protest or even participate. Brian continued to rub his groin aggressively against Justin’s, alternating with sharp thrust. His senses completely enveloped in the smell, touch, and taste of Brian, Justin had no other choice but to race rapidly towards the abyss.

Justin cried into Brian’s open mouth when white, thick spurts of cum shot out of his dick and coated his shirt and exposed abdomen. Brian’s hips finally stopped moving and he let off of Justin’s now swollen and reddened lips. Justin panted heavily to catch his breath, his chest rising heavily.

When he thought, his brain caught up enough to form coherent questions, Justin tried to speak. But Brian suddenly let go of his wrists and pulled himself up, moved up on the bed, and straddled Justin’s shoulders. Keeping most of his weight on his knees, he quickly pulled open the buttons of his fly, sighing quietly in relief when his stiff cock sprang out from its confines. Brian pushed his straining erection roughly between Justin’s lips.

Justin tightened his lips around Brian’s shaft and waited for Brian to move, but Brian held still. He looked up and met Brian’s intent gaze. Still watching Brian’s expression, Justin raised his head slightly and began to move his lips up and down Brian’s rock hard cock. Brian reached behind Justin’s head and pushed another pillow underneath his head, to make Justin more comfortable.

Justin let his arms encircle Brian’s hips and pulled him further into his mouth. He pushed back the taller man’s hips when he felt Brian’s dick bump the back of his throat then pulled him closer again. Repeating the motion a few times, he finally let Brian slide almost completely from his mouth, grazing the shaft lightly with his teeth, eliciting a moan from the man above him. He wrapped his lips tightly just under the rim of Brian’s head and sucked lightly. Brian brought up his own hand, wetted a finger in his mouth and touched the digit to Justin’s swollen mouth, sweeping across the upper lip, where it wrapped around his shaft.

“I was going crazy watching your mouth during the flight. The way you’d bite down on your lip when you concentrate on a drawing. The last five hours, all I could think about was my cock between those lips, all hot, red, and swollen. God, Sunshine,—” Brian murmured.

Justin felt a shiver go down his spine and sucked vigorously on Brian’s head, then tongued his slit when Brian threw back his head in ecstasy. A primal groan broke free from somewhere deep within Brian’s chest as he came, shaking violently, filling Justin’s mouth with hot cum.

Brian let himself slide from Justin’s lips and fell sideways onto his pillow. He was deep asleep, even before the tremors stopped shaking his body. Justin let his eyes slide shut too.

He awoke with a start. It took him a moment to figure out what the annoying buzzing meant. Finally realizing it was the house phone’s vibrating alarm, he crawled over the still sleeping Brian, picked up, and sleepily murmured, “Hello?”

“Brian?” A very panicky voice panted. “Oh god, please… Brian? Justin?”

“Madeleine?” Justin asked, voice still groggy from sleep. Reality only slowly making its way through the haze to his brain.

“Justin? Oh, thank god. I’ve been trying to reach you for hours. I thought you were due back this morning. Cynthia told me your plane would land at 9 AM. I’ve been calling since—“ The voice suddenly broke, followed by heavy panting. And then an earsplitting scream.

Justin panicked, too. “Madeleine? Maddie?! Maddie, talk to me! What’s wrong? Maddie?” He screamed into the phone. The commotion woke Brian. He rolled over to face Justin and saw the horror and panic on his face.

“Sunshine? What is it?”

Justin realized that Brian was talking to him but was unable to pull his thoughts together for an answer.

“Justin?” Brian asked. He saw Justin pressing the phone tightly to his ear and reached for it. When Justin didn’t react, he grabbed it and pried his fingers carefully off. Taking the phone, he spoke into it, “What? What’s wrong?”

For a few seconds all that could be heard was heavy panting. Then a familiar voice huffed Brian’s name. Brian felt something coil in his gut and quickly glanced over to Justin who now sported a somewhat yellowish pallor. Brian pulled his thoughts together and focused on his breathing to stay calm.

“Madeleine? Are you alright?” He asked, forcing down his anxiety.

“I don’t know. I think so. But I’m scared. Brian, I’m scared,” the voice on the other end huffed.

“Tell me what happened. Where are you?” Brian managed to keep his voice calm.

“I’m in Allegheny General. I’ve been here since six o’clock this morning. You told me you’d be back in Pittsburgh at 9 AM at the latest. I’ve been calling since then. I couldn’t reach Cynthia. Oh god, Brian, I can’t do this. I really, really can’t.” The words came out all jumbled together, obviously pressed out between waves of pain.

“Are you alright? I know you’re in pain, but are you alright? Is everything ok?“

“They say, yes. Everything is fine so far, the doctors say.” She sounded a little calmer now, Brian thought. But still panicky. “This wasn’t supposed to happen yet. We had time, Brian. This isn’t supposed to happen yet.”

“Maddie. Listen to me. Listen carefully. Are you listening?”

“Yes.”

“Everything will be fine. Your doctors told you so, right? And they’re the best doctors in greater PA. They know what they’re talking about. You believe that, right? Are the babies ok, too?”

“Yes. But it’s too early.”

“I know you’re scared. It is scary. But Justin and I will be there soon, ok? We’ll leave right now. Try to relax, ok? We’ll be there as soon as we can. Can you try and relax?” Brian repeated again.

“I’ll try. But can you please hurry?” Her voice was faint.

“I promise to break every traffic law if need be. Don’t panic. It’s going to be alright.” Brian ensured, hoping that he’d be right.

Putting down the phone, he turned around to face Justin again, who sometime during the conversation clamped both his hands on the older man’s forearm with a fierce grip, cutting off his circulation.

“Sunshine?” Brian tried softly. As expected, Justin didn’t react. Brian pried Justin’s fingers off of his arm, grabbed his shoulders and shook him slightly. “Sunshine, listen to me. Get up, change into some fresh clothes and meet me downstairs in five minutes. You hear me?”

Justin nodded, “Yes.” He hesitated. Then, “Brian? We’re three weeks early.”

“I know. But she’s fine. The doctors say everything is alright. She’s scared because she’s been alone all day, in a hospital. We’ll need to get there, ok? So you go and get dressed, and I’ll go get the other stuff. Grab the keys to the ‘Vette and wait outside for me. Can you do that?” Brian asked.

“Ok.” Justin got up and turned towards the walk-in closet. He paused and looked at Brian once more. “It’s really happening?”

“It looks that way.”

“I’m gonna be a daddy, Brian.”

“I know,” Brian said with a soft grin. “Are you scared?”

“Shitless.”

Brian crossed the room and pressed his lips to Justin’s in a reassuring kiss. “It’s gonna be ok. You’ll be great, you’ll see.”

 

>>><<<

  
Brian watched Justin disappear in the walk-in closet then quickly changed out of his crumpled trousers he had slept in into a fresh pair of jeans. He grabbed the phone and dialed a number while he went into the study and pulled open a hidden drawer in his desk.

“Mel?” He asked into the phone when the voice on the other end answered. “I think it’s happening.”

…

“Yes, I have the papers right here. I’ll take them with me.”

…

“Ok, then we’ll meet him there.”

…

“No, we don’t even know how long it will be. I’ll give you a call as soon as I can.”

…

“Yes. He’s freaking out a little. But he’ll be fine. We all will be.”

Brian finished the call and threw the phone down on the leather couch that stood to the left of his desk. Grabbing the thick folder he hurried out the door and almost collided with Justin.

“I’m not freaking out.” Justin told him sullenly.

Brian smiled. “Yes, you are, drama princess. But today you’re allowed.” He smiled at him reassuringly again, turned him around and guided him towards the front door, grabbing his cell phone and wallet from the table in the foyer.

The next few hours were a jumbled memory in Justin’s mind. He remembered making the usually half an hour long drive into Pittsburgh in less than 15 minutes. He remembered racing down hospital corridors – a scene very reminiscent on its very own. He remembered the short talk with Madeleine before she was wheeled out into an OR. He remembered pacing down the short hallway in front of the waiting room, because sitting still was just not possible. He also remembered the worried look on the nurse’s face when she appeared in the waiting room many hours later. Most clearly of all, however, he remembered Brian’s reaction. His whole posture straightened out, muscles tensed, facial expression unreadable. Brian reached towards Justin, put his arm across Justin’s shoulders and pressed the smaller body into his own.

Something was _not_ right.

“Mr. Taylor, Mr. Kinney,” the nurse started, “the doctor will be outside in a few minutes and he’ll be able to tell you more, but I can already inform you that the mother is doing fine right now, but she’s still under the anesthesia. She should be awake soon. –“

“Anesthesia?” Brian interrupted. “She didn’t want any medication. She insisted on a natural birth.”

“Yes, Mr. Kinney. We’ve been informed of that. However, the monitors showed a slightly decreased heart rate of the smaller child –“

“Emma.” This time it was Justin who put his word in.

The nurse nodded, and continued, “As I was saying, Emma’s heart rate decreased and the doctor decided to get the babies out. The mother didn’t respond to the medication to induce a natural birth and agreed to a C-section. The babies were delivered about 20 minutes ago. Emma two minutes before her sister.” The nurse looked questioningly at Brian, then at Justin who in turn looked at Brian.

“Alex.” Brian supplied.

The nurse gave a slight smile and a nod. “Alex is perfectly fine. She’s in very good health, breathing strongly and complaining quite loudly. However, Emma needed special attention. She’s breathing on her own just fine. But the doctor is concerned with her slightly irregular heart rhythm. She’s been thoroughly examined and right now we’re awaiting the results. She’s been put in an incubator as a precaution. Hopefully, we will know more very soon. The doctor will be out to answer your questions in a short while.”

Brian nodded curtly, dismissing the nurse, and squeezed Justin’s body tighter. He felt Justin beginning to shake and had difficulties keeping it together himself.

They had known very early on that one of the girls was considerably smaller than her sister; however, as several doctors assured them, there had been no reason for worry. And now Brian was angry. Apparently, something had been wrong and he seethed that none of the doctors told them earlier. Also, he was concerned for Justin. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep it together. He had to keep it together, else Justin would fall apart. However, right now, he wished someone would tell _him_ that everything would be okay.

Brian was irate. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. This was supposed to be a happy day. One they had prepared for. They weren’t supposed to be jet lagged, Maddie wasn’t supposed to have a C-section, and Emma wasn’t supposed to have heart problems. The uncertainty of the situation was eating away at Brian, and he kept glancing towards the entrance the nurse disappeared behind every few seconds.

Suddenly he felt Justin turn under his arm that was still draped around his shoulders. He pressed his whole body into Brian’s taller one and wrapped his arms around Brian’s middle, giving support and holding the taller man up. “It’s gonna be alright, Brian. You’ll see, everything will turn out just fine. Hang in there.”

Brian pressed his face into Justin’s hair, closed his eyes, and breathed deep.


	2. Chapter 2

# 

Present, September 2010

Though he had been exhausted, Justin didn’t sleep well. He woke early, when the first rays of sunlight came in through the light drapes adorning the large window to the right of the bed. One glance over at the sleeping form of Brian confirmed that the brunet hadn’t moved an inch during the night. It looked as though Emma hadn’t moved a bit either, which never ceased to amaze Justin. Emma, when awake, was a human ball of energy who never tired. Brian was the only one for whom she would hold still.

Justin got out of bed, careful not to wake either one of his sleeping companions. After a detour to the bathroom, he silently made it to the twins’ room across the hall. Cowering down beside one of the beds, so he was at eyelevel with Alex, he watched his daughter sleep. He knew she wouldn’t be asleep for much longer.

Alex was turning out to be a morning person. She’d usually wake up with the first sunbeams and lay awake in her bed, playing with her toys or watching her sister in the adjoining bed through the bars. But since Emma was sleeping in Brian’s and his bed today, Justin didn’t want Alex waking up to find herself alone in the nursery. Justin leaned back against the wall and waited.

They had an appointment with Emma’s cardiologist at noon. They had had a standing appointment for every two months since the twins’ birth, a little over one year ago. And though the results were very satisfactory so far, the time and uncertainty before every appointment was emotionally draining. Today even more so. The doctor had told them last time that, provided Emma’s results were within normal range again this time, there would be no need to come into his office every other month anymore.

The days when they had to go see the doctor were especially strenuous on Brian, though he tried not to show it. Justin would have happily gone to the doctor’s without Brian, to spare him the emotional stress. However, since Brian was the only one who could persuade Emma to hold still, his presence was somewhat mandatory. The doctor kept telling them to take Emma’s activity for a very good sign, but when it came to the medical exams her bustling nature tended to be contra productive.

Justin was pulled out of his thoughts when Alex began to stir. She opened her eyes a little and looked at her daddy who sat exactly in her line of sight. “Hey, Precious.” Justin smiled brightly and was rewarded by an equally bright smile in response. She scrambled to her feet while rubbing her eyes with tiny fists, then extended her arms towards Justin to be picked up.

Justin lifted her from her bed and walked back to the master bedroom. When Brian saw Justin walk in with Alex in his arms he smiled towards his lover, “Morning, Sunshine.” Justin smiled in response.

Alex began to squirm in Justin’s hands so he let her down on the bed. She crawled over to Brian and tried to climb atop Brian, too. Brian pulled her down a little and she nestled down, pressed to Brian’s side.

“Morning, baby.” Brian kissed the top of her hair and tried to sit up a little, holding on to Emma with one hand and Alex with another. Justin climbed back into bed, with a children’s book in his hand. Alex reached for it as soon as she saw it. She made herself more comfortable, sitting up in the crook of Brian’s arm. She put the book on her lap and started looking through it, turning the pages until she reached the end before starting from the beginning again. She could do this for hours, completely immersed in the colorful illustrations – an activity Emma had no patience for.

“What time you want to leave?” Justin asked.

“The appointment is at 11:45. We could leave at 11, unless you want to go to your mother’s before that?”

“To pick up Molly, you mean?” Justin asked in response. Brian nodded. “You want to bring her along to the doctor’s?”

“No, not to the doctor’s,” Brian answered. “But we could leave Alex with her and pick both of them up after we’re done. Alex doesn’t like the doctor’s office. No need stressing her out.”

It was true. Even though Alex was never the patient there she was very much attuned with people’s moods, and since those visits were always stressful for Brian and Justin, she picked up on the atmosphere.

“I’ll give Molly a call.”

Brian simply nodded in acknowledgement, tensing slightly. Even though today would only be a, hopefully last, routine checkup, he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“You ok?” Justin asked.

“Sure.”

Justin frowned a little. For all the progress that they’ve made in the past years, Brian still tensed up when feelings were discussed and tended to give monosyllabic answers – if any at all. Some things would never change, Justin thought simply. “It’s just that you’re up early,” Justin tried again.

“I _really_ have to take a leak.” Brian grinned.

Justin smiled and crawled over to lift Emma from Brian’s chest. He carefully laid Emma down in the warm hollow left by Brian’s body and watched Brian disappear into the adjoining bathroom.

Brian stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared unmoving. He tried to relax and strengthen himself for today. It would be alright, he told himself repeatedly. However, he had a hard time silencing the voice inside his head screaming all the worst case scenarios at him. He shook his head hoping to get rid of the nagging fear that coiled in his gut. He hated that he couldn’t just shake it off, he hated being helpless. This wasn’t something that could be remedied with money or brilliant advertising. He wished for a little of Justin’s eternal optimism, but Brian had learned early on that life had a way of sneaking up on you when you weren’t prepared. The one truth Brian had no trouble believing in was that, whenever he allowed himself to be happy, fate always found a way to kick him in the balls.

>>><<<

  
May 2001

So _let_ the gossip queens of Liberty Avenue talk. What the fuck do they know anyway? It’s not like they didn’t already know that Brian Fucking Kinney was bringing home the same blond twink on a regular basis.

It’d be worth it just to see Justin smile. A grin played on Brian’s lips at the thought while he dressed in his tuxedo. He ran his fingers through his hair and glanced over his appearance in the mirror one last time before leaving the loft’s bathroom. As he made for the stairs, he caught sight of the white silk scarf lying on the bed. He grabbed it in a last minute decision and hurried down to his jeep.

>>><<<

 

Present, September 2010  
  
Brian didn’t even fight it when his thoughts trailed back to that fateful evening. He thought back to the high he felt when Justin’s eyes first fell on him from across the room. The utter surprise on his face had made his eyes sparkle. Brian remembered focusing on all the new shades of blue he saw in them when he walked up to the young blond. His last doubts fading when Justin’s face lit up as he asked him for a dance.

He couldn’t remember a time when feeling a body in his arms that was moving to the soft rhythms of music had given him such pleasure. Brian recalled how he’d allowed himself to smile, and how he hadn’t been able to stop, even if he tried. So he’d laughed, and found that easy too. Everything with Justin was easy. He remembered looking into the incredibly blue eyes and how he’d allowed himself to drown in them a little; remembered allowing himself to be happy and actually letting it show. Fuck ‘em all. He remembered thinking that, after thirty years of self-imposed loneliness, he deserved something good. And so what if his kind of good came in the form of an eighteen year old blond who completely refused to be intimidated by the great Brian Kinney, and was entirely too mature for his age?

He hadn’t wanted to let go when the music ended, so he’d pulled Justin towards the exit, dancing, singing, goofing around and acting altogether totally out of character; and enjoying it. Bringing the Sunshine smile to Justin’s face had rapidly become his favorite addiction, and when he’d watched the blond almost float on giddiness, that fucking happy smile attached to his radiant face, Brian recalled thinking proudly, “This is because of me. This is my doing.” He remembered being high on the thought, as he got in the jeep. Still not being able to pull his eyes away, he had watched Justin’s retreating back in the mirror.

>>><<<

 

 _ As the cold seeped through his dress pants while he was kneeling on the hard cement floor, the stinging-hot blood trickling slowly but steadily through his fingers, Brian thought, “This is because of me. This is my doing, too.” He rocked back and forth, waiting for the ambulance. _   


>>><<<

 

Present, September 2010

Brian stared unseeingly in the mirror, his inner eye riveted on a bloody scarf. He splashed some cold water onto his face to get rid of the haunting images, bringing his thoughts back to the present. Emma. Doctor’s appointment. The next potential catastrophe that was long overdue. Justin. Fuck! Justin would know. One look into his eyes, and he would know. Little shit was too observant for his own good. That brought a quiet smile to Brian’s face as he left the bathroom.

Justin glanced sideways at the clock on Brian’s nightstand. It’s been over fifteen minutes since Brian went to relieve himself. Something was definitely bothering him. Justin sighed and decided to give him five more minutes before he would get up and check up on the brunet.

When Brian finally emerged, Justin immediately took in the change in the taller man’s appearance. He expected Brian to be tense and uncommunicative today, but there was more. There was a haunted look in his eyes that Justin hadn’t seen in a long while.

Since his post-prom days, Justin had come to understand that waiting for the next storm to come and destroy what secure shelter he had built, was part of Brian’s physiology. The happier he allowed himself to be, the more anxiously he was waiting for the next catastrophe to strike. Justin guessed that was a part of Brian that, no matter what, would never change. It was too much a part of him, too much a part of what he considered his own life to be. The only thing left to do, and Justin was intent on succeeding, was making Brian realize that no matter what disappointment fate would throw their way, Brian would never again have to face it on his own.

“Where did you go?” Justin asked.

“What do you mean?” Brian tried to brush away. “I’m still here.”

“No. No, you’re not. Twenty minutes ago, we were fine. Now you’re stuck in the past again. How did you get there?”

“It’s nothing. Where are the kids?” Brian tried to change the subject, but Justin was onto him.

“I heard Trish coming in through the back door, so I asked her to make breakfast for Alex. Emma’s in her own bed, with the baby monitor. Trish will get her when she wakes up. Brian, talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Just let us get through this day, everything else will be just fine.”

“Everything else already is fine. Emma is fine, Brian. You _know_ that. Don’t work yourself into a self-destructive funk over nothing.”

Justin understood that Brian was scared to hope. Whenever things got out of his control, he retreated, shutting himself off from everyone. Justin figured, that the impending potential of trauma that today carried, brought on the unresolved issues of an even bigger one. He allowed himself to think back to the post-bashing Brian for a few moments. His carefully guarded, unattainable Brian. The trauma of his childhood, of being unloved and unwanted, that coined his character so profoundly, had been replaced by an even bigger one. One that made sure he would never give into his feelings again. Being born to Joan and Jack Kinney wasn’t his fault. The bashing was. Or so he managed to convince himself. For once, he let himself have this – this perfect moment of happiness – just to be put into his place again. So he built up the walls anew. Stronger, and twice as high that time, making sure no one would ever get past them again.

>>><<<

 

“Come back to bed.”

Brian hesitated a second but moved closer.

“Lose the pants, you won’t need them.” Justin ordered, smiling mischievously albeit somewhat forced.

Brian froze for another moment, smirked, then pulled down his pants and stood there, looking at Justin expectantly. The blond threw off the duvet in an invitation and motioned with his head for Brian to come closer. Brian let his knees sink onto the soft mattress, pushed up on all four and crawled all over Justin spread on the sheets, like a big cat on the prowl.

While climbing up Justin’s body, Brian dragged his nose along the younger man’s stiffening cock, nuzzling his balls, then moving up to his nipples, skimming the flushing skin lightly with his tongue in strategical places.

“Hmmm,” Justin purred.

Justin could spend all day letting himself be caressed by Brian’s hands and tongue. When Brian’s lips finally reached its destination and he was about to dive into the hot wet depth of Justin’s mouth, the blond whispered, “Roll over.”

Brian forced his eyes away from Justin’s full and slightly parted lips to gape into the blue orbs. They stared at each other wordlessly for a few minutes, a silent battle of wills until, finally, Brian pressed his forehead against Justin’s, then let off of him and moved over to lie on his stomach.

Justin moved quickly, pushing Brian’s thighs apart with his hands and kneeling between them, pressing his knees tight against Brian’s inner thighs. He let his hands run over Brian’s buttocks, caressing and pushing him down into the mattress, admonishing Brian to stay there.

Justin’s travelling hand gliding across his sides and spine made Brian give a content sigh. He felt himself relax little by little and let go of the thoughts that were troubling him mere seconds before. Justin always knew how to distract and ground him, make him focus on what was really important.

The brunet melted into the softness and warmth of the bed and surrendered his body to Justin’s capable hands. Justin felt Brian give over the reins completely. He spread his body across Brian’s back, nuzzled his nose into the short hairs at the nape of his neck, and sucked on the skin just under the hairline.

Brian let out an involuntary moan.

“Just enjoy.” Justin whispered close to his ear. “Relax and let me do the work, ok?”

Brian nodded into the pillow while Justin ran his fingers through the full chestnut hair, massaging the scalp, then moving his hands along Brian’s neckline, softly pressing his thumbs into the muscles there, feeling the tenseness leave the brunet’s body. He worked his way across the planes of Brian’s back, enjoying Brian’s occasional sigh or groan. He loved Brian in that mellow state when he would let Justin use his body to give him pleasure.

Brian relished Justin’s attention and felt cocooned in the warmth surrounding him. Apart from a quiet moan, he didn’t even react when he felt the blond’s fingers reach his crack and slip between the ass cheeks, stroking across his pucker with feather light touches. He also didn’t react when he heard the cap of the lube bottle snap open. Brian knew what was coming next and, though he would probably never admit it to his partner, he was almost desperate for it.

Justin lubed his fingers generously and, smearing an equally generous amount around the quivering ring of muscle, slipped one fingertip inside. He took his time stretching Brian, reveling in the smooth texture of Brian’s entrance, moving slowly and deliberately, all the while whispering softly in Brian’s ear.

“I want to paint you. I want to paint you like this. Spread flat on the bed, relaxed. The background would be all vibrant colors, bright oranges…, and different shades of red…, and radiant purple…, hovering above you. The energy you exude. I’d paint your body in deep and warm colors alternating with light, earthy tones. Grounding and ethereal. Because that’s what you do to me. You make me keep my feet on the ground and you make me fly, all at the same time.”

Brian grew incredibly hard listening to Justin’s throaty voice but didn’t dare move. In this one, Brian was just the passive participator. This was Justin’s show. He felt the artist pull out his fingers and slip his condom-clad and well-lubed dick slowly inside. Brian hadn’t even noticed when Justin managed to put on a condom.

Justin closed his eyes at the sensation of being surrounded by Brian then started to move. He slipped slowly out and then back in, setting a torturously unhurried pace. The passion simmering at a low heat, building up the need for release. With Brian pressed flat against the mattress, Justin couldn’t go too deep in this position, so he angled his hips to be able to push against Brian’s prostate on every stroke. When Brian arched his back in ecstasy, Justin knew he’d hit the sweet spot. Applying constant pressure on it, he didn’t give Brian time to catch his breath. The brunet’s moans were becoming louder and louder, still Justin didn’t increase the speed of his thrusts.

Brian’s body felt heavy and leaden and he thought he wouldn’t be able to move even if his life depended on it. Justin was moving smoothly in and out of his body, driving him crazy with need but not doing anything to make the climax come sooner. When he finally reached the edge, he felt the orgasm well in his body, rising to an unbearable girth and finally overflowing his senses and seeping out through every pore in his body.

Brian’s pliant and sated form relaxed further into the mattress beneath him, unable to produce any coherent thoughts. He felt Justin push into his body a couple more times, the hypersensitivity making electro shocks run through Brian’s veins, before he felt his blond lover tense and release with a suppressed, guttural groan.

Justin pulled out slowly and rolled to the side, not able to do much more. He closed his eyes, and fell asleep almost immediately.

After he was able to breathe normally again, Brian lifted up on one elbow and looked at his sleeping partner, the face relaxed, a small smile playing on the blond’s lips. Brian smiled in response. _Mine_ , he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Present, September 2010

Justin walked over to the nurse at the receptionist’s desk.

“Hi. We have an appointment with Dr. Lance at 11:45.”

“The patient’s name?”

“Emmeline Taylor-Kinney.”

  


>>><<<

August 2009

“Your daughter’s condition is called PDA. It’s short for Persistent or Patent Ductus Arteriosus. Basically, it’s a congenital heart defect that results from an open connection between the main body artery and the main lung artery. You see, in an unborn child those two arteries are connected. After birth, with the first few breaths, the vessel is supposed to close since the body’s circulation changes and it’s no longer required. However, in premature infants, the connection sometimes fails to close. Which is the case with Emmeline. As a result, too much blood is pumped into the lung arteries. And it makes the lungs and heart work harder.”

The cardiologist paused, looking from Brian to Justin, then back to Brian. They got up from their seats in the waiting room when they had seen the doctor approach. Justin was gripping Brian’s waist, and Brian slung his arm across Justin’s shoulders to remind him that he was there for him. Now they gripped each other tighter, Brian was not sure who was supporting who now.

“So, what is the next step?” Brian was thankful that Justin finally voiced one of the many questions that were competing for Brian’s attention inside his mind.

“Right now, we wait. There’s still a very good possibility that it will close all on its own.”

“And if it doesn’t?” Justin inquired further.

“Even if it doesn’t, and the artery stays open, it still depends on the size of the opening. If it’s small enough, she may never experience any symptoms at all.”

“So we wait? How long?”

“I’d suggest monitoring her closely throughout the first twelve months. If she develops just fine within that time period, I daresay she will be alright and will need no treatment. You will be given a list of things of what to look for – breathing difficulties, tiredness, cold hand or feet, to name a few. You’ll need to see your child’s physician immediately if any of those should occur.” Dr. Lance paused again. He had been looking back and forth between Brian and Justin and he didn’t miss the fact that Brian’s knuckles had turned white; he was gripping his partner’s shoulder so tight. Justin didn’t seem to notice however. They were obviously very concerned for the health of their daughter and Dr. Lance tried to give them a positive outlook. In his experience, most of these conditions would right themselves, given time. Also, children were resilient and were known to recover well in general, even when faced with serious problems. But, as Dr. Lance guessed correctly, the two men standing before him now were new at the whole parenting thing. He smiled sympathetically.

“Mr. Taylor, Mr. Kinney,” he addressed them both, even though Mr. Kinney was yet to say a word. This surprised the cardiologist since he figured him to be the taking charge kind of guy, the leading part in the relationship, but appearances could be deceiving, he reasoned. “I know it’s frightening to have ‘congenital heart defect’ thrown at you but please trust me, there is a very high chance of this righting itself over the course of the next few months.”

“When can we take her home?” Brian finally spoke.

“We’d like to keep her in the incubator for a few more days. Monitor her lungs since she was a little too small. But it’s mostly just precaution. You’re welcome to visit anytime you like. Ignore the visiting hours; I’ll notify the nurse in charge.” He wouldn’t usually do this, but Dr. Lance really liked the couple. Also, Mr. Kinney didn’t strike him as one of the compliant parents that would just succumb to the hospital’s rules when it came to the ones he cared for. The doctor looked the couple over one more time and couldn’t help but be jealous just a little. Despite the concern for their child, they exuded such a certainty that whatever came their way, they’d deal together. He smiled again when he gave them all the information they would need the next couple of days, then shook their hands and said goodbye. When he turned towards his office, he smiled wistfully – they were a family now.  


>>><<<

Brian went outside to have a smoke and call Justin. On the premature ward, no cell phones were allowed. It was late in the evening and Brian should be on his way home, however, he couldn’t make himself leave.

“Hello.” The blond answered.

“Hey. How’s it going? How are you?”

“Good. Tired. I gave Alex her first bath, well, the first one now that she’s home. Trish helped. She’s amazing with kids, Brian. We should think about asking her about the nanny position. I bet she’d love to do it. I think she’s already in love with Alex.”

Brian smiled. The woman was a godsend. Ever since he first entertained the idea of moving to Britin, Trish was part of it. She came over one early evening when Brian strolled through the rooms taking inventory and making a list of things he would need delivered if he were to stay in the house permanently. He assumed she was the housekeeper the agency had sent. However, as it turned out, she came to the house because she had seen the lights on one of her evening walks and was wondering who the new tenants were. Having lost her family almost ten years ago, she was now in her early sixties and lonely. Maybe she took a liking to Brian as soon as she saw him, but Brian always suspected that it was the sadness and loneliness that both of them shared, albeit for different reasons, that made her recognize a kindred spirit. Whatever the exact motive was, the agency sent housekeeper had been sent away and Trish had stayed. Brian actually enjoyed returning from work to a friendly face and a home cooked meal. It reminded him of times when Justin would wreak havoc in the loft’s kitchen. Though, thankfully, Trish was not as messy as the blond when it came to cooking. Once Justin first came back from New York, Trish became an inherent part of their little family, refusing to let the two of them live on take out or cold sandwiches. Whenever Justin spent time at Britin, Trish would go into full mother-hen mode and the blond took shamelessly advantage of the fact that Trish was completely enamored with him, scoring cookies and opulent breakfasts. Brian huffed a laugh. Of course, Trish would love Alex! And once Emma was allowed to go home, she’d love her too, with the same ferocity she loved Justin.

Brian stifled a yawn. He was tired, too.

“You’re coming home?” Justin asked.

“About that – I think I should stay here.” He waited for Justin’s response.

“In Pittsburgh?” Meaning the loft.

“No. In the hospital.” Brian knew he’d miss Alex’s first night home. But it seemed wrong to leave Emma all alone, even though she was being taken good care of.

“Ok.” Justin’s voice was soft. They breathed into the phone for a few moments, neither one saying anything.

“Brian?” Justin finally broke the silence.

“Yes?”

“We love you.”

 _We._

“Same here, Sunshine.” He snapped his phone shut and switched it off again, walking towards the elevators that would take him to the fourth floor, NICU.  


>>><<<

There was a bit of a commotion when Brian got back to the NICU. A couple of nurses stood around Emma’s incubator, staring almost hypnotically at the monitors. The beeping sounds were rapid and unnerving. It took Brian a few seconds to realize it was Emma’s heart that was beating entirely too fast and also irregularly, even to his medically uneducated ears.

“Why aren’t you doing anything?” Brian inquired furiously.

One nurse turned towards him. Brian glanced at her name tag, Margaret. She explained, “The doctor’s reluctant to respond with medication, we have a time window here and we’re hoping the heart rate will turn to normal on his own.”

The second nurse whom Brian had talked to a couple of hours ago, Alice, turned around and gave Brian the once-over, then said, “Mr. Kinney, would you mind taking off your shirt and sitting down in this chair.” She pulled up one of the visitor’s chairs closer to the monitors. Brian looked at her bewildered, but she nodded encouragingly, so he did as he was told.

While he was undressing, the blond woman lifted the glass window under which Emma lay connected to several wires and picked up the newborn child. She wasn’t crying because she was mostly kept under a pain medication that also sedated her, but her arms and legs jerked uncontrollably from time to time. The nurse brought Emma to where Brian had taken a seat and laid the baby on his naked chest.

Brian, startled, didn’t know what to make of the situation. The two nurses looked expectantly at him, but he wasn’t sure what it was that was expected of him. When Emma’s jerking stopped however, Brian looked down at the tiny girl on his chest, and covered her back with his right hand lightly, looking questioningly at Nurse Alice. She nodded again and gave a smile. Encouraged, he began stroking Emma’s back with one finger, and listened as the beeping sounds slowed down to a soothing background noise.

“Skin contact – better than any drug.” Nurse Alice explained, still smiling.

“She’s so tiny.” Brian whispered in awe to no one in particular.

“Don’t let her deceive you. She’s resilient.” The nurse answered.

Brian chuckled, “Must take after her daddy then.”  


>>><<<

When Emma was asleep and in her incubator once again, Brian went one floor down and knocked softly on the door not really expecting a response. He was surprised when he heard an “Enter.”

“I thought you might be asleep already.” He told her.

“In ten minutes I would have been,” she smiled.

“I can leave if you’re tired.” Brian offered.

“I think I can hold out just a few minutes more,” she joked. “What’s up? The papers were all okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. It’s all covered already. They’re legally mine and Justin’s. ‘Taylor-Kinney’ is official now.” Mel had the papers drawn up and prepared a long time ago. One of the attorneys from her former law firm had brought them over the day before to have them signed by Madeleine.

“I’m glad.” Madeleine answered. “What is it then?”

“I just--,” Brian took a deep breath. “Just wanted to say--,” Another breath, “Thank you.”

Maddie beamed. “Justin was in early in the afternoon, telling me the same thing.” Brian smiled. “He had Alex with him. She was asleep. She’s so beautiful.”

“And he was grinning like Christmas had come early?” Brian asked in response.

Maddie let out a hearty laugh. “Yes.” They were silent for a minute. Until Maddie said, “You two will be great parents. You already are.”

“Madeleine, the offer still stands. Whenever you want to see them. We’re just a phone call away.”

“I know. And thank you. But, no. They’re yours. They have been since the second the idea first emerged. When they ask for me – if they ever will, that is – call me and we’ll work something out. But I trust they won’t need to.” She smiled a confident smile.

“You’re going back to New York?”

“For starters. Need to pack my life. Then it’s who knows. Too many places I haven’t been yet.”

“Will you be alright?”

“With the money you’ve paid me? Yes, definitely.” She half-joked.

“You’ll keep in touch?”

“Always.”

Brian pressed a kiss to her forehead then turned to walk out the room. He stopped when she called him back, looking at her over his shoulder.

“You’re welcome.” Maddie said. Brian nodded and closed the door behind him, letting her rest.  


>>><<<

October 2008

“If you don’t mind me asking, would you care to explain why you would want to do this?” Justin asked hesitantly glancing from Madeleine to Brian. They’d been sitting in the small café on the corner of the street of their hotel for over an hour now, talking. Cynthia had arranged for the meeting.

Madeleine gave a smile and looked openly into both of their faces. “I don’t mind at all. But I don’t think I’ll be able to explain to your full satisfaction. There is no one big reason really. I heard so much about you, I feel as if I know you. When I heard you were looking for a surrogate it just felt like something I’m supposed to do.”

“Have you done this before?” Brian voiced his concerns.

“No.” Madeleine laughed shaking her head. Her blond locks playing around her face.

“You think you can give up a child just like that?” The brunet inquired.

“I wouldn’t be giving it up, would I? I would simply turn it over to its rightful parents.” She shrugged and sent a smile towards the two men.

“Madeleine, may I be blunt?” Brian asked. When he received a nod in response, he asked straightforward, “What’s in it for you?”

“I’m not doing it for the money, if that is where you were going. It’s just the way I live my life. I do what I feel is right. When a job or a place stops feeling right, I move on. I’m thirty years old now, that’s how I’ve lived since I was eighteen and I’m happy with it. I don’t intend to change anything. I don’t want a child for myself. I wouldn’t know what to do with it.” She chuckled. “I came to New York not knowing why. Now I think I do. I want to carry this child for you.”

“If we decide to do this, you’d need to come to Pittsburgh.” Justin remarked.

“I’m fine with that.”

Brian felt a hand on his thigh under the table. He turned to look at Justin who was looking at him with a silent smile. It seemed the blond had already made his decision. “If we are going to do this, I’ll have Cynthia set you up with a lawyer. You need to have your rights protected. We’re going to employ a lawyer too, of course.” Brian said.

“Whatever you need to feel comfortable.” Madeleine agreed nodding.

“Are you really sure you want to do this?” Justin asked one last time. He didn’t want to be disappointed if they decided to really go through with it.

“I don’t believe in regrets.” Madeleine stated instead of an answer.


	4. Chapter 4

Present, September 2010

„So, this is a party for your clients?“

“Yes. Mostly.”

“Why do you need to schmooze them if they’re already paying you a shitload of money?”

“So that they keep paying me a shitload of money so that I can support your costly lifestyle to which you’ve grown accustomed.”

“Fucker.”

Brian chuckled a little before adding more earnestly, “I need them to stay with Kinnetik when the contracts are re-negotiated.”

“Will they come with their significant others?”

“The invitations were extended to the spouses or partners too, yes.”

“Do they know you’re bringing me?”

“They expect me to bring my partner, I suppose.”

“They won’t expect a wife, will they?”

“Most of them know I’m gay. Those who don’t know probably won’t care considering I’m helping them get richer. What’s with the twenty questions, Sunshine? You nervous?”

“No, I guess not. It’s just that you never brought me before.”

“Yes, I have. You were there at the opening party.”

“Yes, but those were mostly your employees. They already knew me. And there were only a few of your clients there. Though I suppose at the time of the opening they were all the clients that you had then. Tonight there’s gonna be tons of new people. People who could potentially cost you money if they don’t like your kind of ‘partner’.”

“Relax. Just be your usual charming artistic self.”

Justin scrunched up his nose. It was true, Justin had been to company functions or client meetings with Brian before. Still, he couldn’t get rid of the feeling that Brian expected something from him tonight. Or maybe he expected something to come out of this evening. He couldn’t put his finger on it. Justin let his gaze wander over his lover’s face one more time. Brian seemed relaxed, amused even as he noticed Justin’s inspection. Justin let it go for now, just enjoying Brian’s calm and comfortable mood.

Justin replayed today’s events, smiling when he thought back to the doctor’s good news. Though Emma still had an open artery connection, there was no indication that it would ever bother her or affect her life in any way. The doctor expected her to have an absolutely normal life and gave her a very clean bill of health. Justin fondly remembered Brian’s reaction to the good news. The haunted look in his expression was wiped away in an instant and now gone completely.

“That was quite an anti-climactic ending, wasn’t it?” Justin asked.

Brian didn’t have to ask what Justin was referring to. He just took his hand and squeezed it lightly. Justin sighed happily and took a deep breath. His world inflated, and felt incredibly light and sunny.

 

 >>><<<

  
Bits of conversation and laughs could be heard even before Justin and Brian stepped through the main entrance of Kinnetik. Cynthia and Ted were obviously doing a great job entertaining the guests while the CEO was being fashionably late. 

Brian pulled open the door with one hand, winding the other arm around Justin possessively. Upon entering, Brian immediately made eye contact with Cynthia to assess the situation. She looked relieved to see him but not overly stressed, so he figured everything was going fine so far. He then scanned the crowd, smiling captivatingly, knowing exactly how to charm his guests.

Brian also registered a few curious looks directed his young partner’s way. He wasn’t bothered though, and had expected as much. Even the clients that knew Brian lived with a man were surprised when they first met Justin, focusing only on the age difference. Brian was used to, and actually enjoyed and anticipated, the change in their demeanor once Justin started to work his Sunshine charm on them and captivated them with his sharp wit and luminous smile. It’s become a secret addiction of his to let Justin loose on his unsuspecting business associates and see them fall under the Taylor spell. Even more so when they connected Justin’s name to the one of the artist’s they recently read or heard about, maybe even whose show they visited. Brian would stand beside Justin, proud as could be, basking in the glow when their eyes would run over Justin with new appreciation. Brian didn’t even mind blending into the background on these occasions, letting Justin have the stage, impressing the hell out of his audience with youth, looks, and intelligence.

Brian pulled Justin closer to him, pressed his lips to the side of his face, and whispered into his temple, “Let’s mingle. I expect you to work your magic. There’re potential major bucks in this room.”

“Oh, you always say such sweet things,” Justin replied sardonically, but watered his comment down with a happy smile, then reached up on his toes to press a kiss on Brian’s lips before turning his attention towards the room, noticing for the first time that they had drawn quite an audience. Justin blushed a little at the attention and let himself be led by Brian towards a client who was flirting shamelessly with Cynthia.

“Harland, are you trying to charm away my assistant? You know, she’s not going to leave me. You’re just providing her with ammunition to blackmail me into paying her more than I make.” Brian joked and Cynthia glared at him. She stopped being Brian’s assistant years ago, even though she still retained the role of Brian’s go to person when he needed something done. Brian had a new assistant now – Lauren. She was a very efficient and responsible worker but she lacked Cynthia’s ability to read Brian’s moods and snippy remarks. After some complaining on Brian’s part – to which some would probably refer as whining – it was finally established that Brian would keep Cynthia’s assisting services. However it was up to her to delegate the assignments as she saw fit. Basically, Cynthia was the communicator and translator between Brian and other employees. The situation might not have been ideal but it seemed to be working out just fine. Cynthia was well compensated for dealing with the boss’ requests in addition to her other responsibilities.

“Brian. It’s nice to see you again. I’m sincerely impressed with the progress Kinnetik has made. You surround yourself with quite a talented bunch.” Harland answered with a good-humored laugh.

Even though Brian was constantly bitching about the incompetence of the art department, in reality he had quite a capable team on his hands who were doing a great job, as Justin came to realize from the couple of times he helped out with a project or two.

“I expect you to remember your comment once we sit down to negotiate my increased annual bonus.” Brian laughed back, grabbing two glasses of champagne from a nearby waiter and excusing himself with a nod, leaving Harland in Cynthia’s care for now.

Brian made his way over to Ted and they exchanged a few whispered words, after which Brian focused his vision on a tall, silver-haired gentleman in an expensive grey suit; a dark-haired woman in black was attached to his side. Brian grabbed Justin’s hand and pulled him over to the stunning couple.

“Mr. Jordan-White, so glad you could make it. I hope you’re enjoying the evening.”

The grey-haired gentleman shook Brian’s offered hand and responded, “Mr. Kinney, my wife and I were just talking about you and your newest ad for BioLogics. My wife is very impressed with the artwork. Erica, this is the man I’ve been telling you about. Mr. Kinney, my better half, Erica.” Mr. Jordan-White introduced.

“Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Jordan-White. And this is my partner, Justin Taylor.” Brian made the introductions then rested his hand between Justin’s shoulder blades while the couple shook his hand, too.

“Mr. Kinney, my husband tells me you’ve been harassing him to dump his marketing department and sign with you?” Erica started with an amused smile. It was obvious, though she was many years her husband’s junior, they were very close and she had a business mind of her own.

“Yes, I think Kinnetik has some great ideas for your company and I would welcome the opportunity to present them to you and your husband eventually.” Brian replied honestly.

“My wife noticed the painting in the reception area, she’s quite taken with it, I’m afraid – maybe we should start our negotiations there.” Mr. Jordan-White joked.

Brian grinned slightly and bit on his lips to cover it up. He knew exactly which painting they were referring to. It was hard to miss. It was one of Justin’s larger works that took up most of the high ceilinged wall to the right of the receptionist’s desk, just across Kinnetik’s entrance. A 6.5 by 8 feet canvas, done mostly in violet and deep red shades, sprinkled with some black smears here and there. It felt cavernous, yet strangely homey, and accomplished. Justin had given it to him as Kinnetik celebrated its fifth anniversary. Brian loved it, and loved seeing it every morning when he entered the building.

“I’m afraid, that one is non-negotiable.” Brian smiled into Justin’s open face. “Are you interested in art?” Brian asked, directing his question to Mr. Jordan-White’s wife. To anyone else this would have sounded like polite small talk. Justin, however, realized the master at work. This was just an induction into a highly finessed sales pitch. Justin sensed where this was going and tried to keep the amused smile from his face.

“Yes. Very much.” She started animatedly, very obviously in her element. “My father was a collector and I often accompanied him to galleries and showings. Though we have quite a different taste, I guess the love for art he passed on to me. I started my own humble collection a few years back and I’m always looking for pieces to complete it. The piece in your reception area reminds me of a painting I bought last year in a gallery in Barcelo—“ She suddenly broke off, her gaze travelling from Brian to Justin, her eyes growing wide with realization. “Justin Taylor? _The_ Justin Taylor?” She exclaimed, a little breathless.

Justin sipped on his champagne, then grinned up into Brian’s face, his eyes twinkling.

“That would be me, Mrs. Jordan-White.” Justin said with a timid smile.

“Call me Erica, please. Oh my God, I was hoping to meet you at that Barcelona exhibit last year. We were told you’d be there, but we must have missed you. I went to one of your openings in New York a few years back. That’s where I saw your art for the first time.” She grabbed him by the elbow and led him towards the painting, no doubt to pick his mind about art and artists and whatnot. Brian remained behind with the husband who was smirking in amusement.

“Very clever, Mr. Kinney.” He nodded appreciatively. “You obviously did your homework.”

“I always do, Mr. Jordan-White. I have to admit though, this time was more of a coincidence.” Brian explained, when he noticed the questioning look on the gentleman’s face. “When I ran a background check on you and your company, the picture of your wife came up and I remembered seeing her on several of Justin’s openings. I just assumed she liked his work, and pushed my luck a little bit.” Brian admitted, smiling his charming smile.

Mr. Jordan-White looked him up and down, assessing, then shook his head in amusement and said, “You should call my assistant on Monday. Set up an appointment. And you can call me Jonathan.” He gave a chuckle, as if not quite believing the evening’s progression.

“Brian,” Brian offered his first name too, and shook hands before letting Jonathan wander off to find his wife. Brian grinned, self-satisfied. Everything was going according to plan. He scanned the room for Cynthia and found his assistant watching him from across the room. He nodded shortly, and she gave him the thumbs up in triumph, grinning brightly.

>>><<<

  
After several more client talks, Brian decided to go look for his absent partner. He hadn’t seen Justin since he was hijacked by Erica, and wanted to share a celebratory hot make-out session with his blond Sunshine in the privacy of his office. 

When he circled the room, he found Justin engrossed in a conversation with a stunning red-haired woman. She was young, maybe the same age as Justin. Her presence for such a young woman was remarkable, as was her style. Clad in an expensive red dress, that was accentuating her body in all the right places, ridiculously high black heels, her long red hair flowed in soft curls around her slender frame, held back by a thin black hairband, her outfit completed by several strands of black pearls hung loosely around her neck. Brian had never seen her before and wondered what kind of business she had with Justin.

He made his way over there, stepping up behind Justin and wrapping his arms around his frame. Justin closed his eyes briefly, leaning back into the warm embrace then tilting his head to receive a kiss. The mysterious woman was watching the interaction with a smile on her face, and when she felt it was safe to interrupt the couple, she spoke, “Mr. Kinney, I presume. My grandfather speaks very highly of you.”

Brian turned his attention to her, once again admiring her beauty. He offered her his hand, which she took. “Brian Kinney. And your grandfather would be?”

“Kyle Andrews.” She said, pointing to one very elegant gentleman in the back of the room. He was one of Brian’s newer clients. “My name is Arianna McCallum. I was just talking to Justin about his work.”

“You’re Irish?”

“My ancestors came from Ireland, yes.” She smiled a very open smile.

“Arianna wants to be my agent,” Justin interjected.

Brian raised an eyebrow. “You seem awfully young to be an agent.” He stated bluntly.

Her smile never wavered when she answered, “I presume, many people say that about Justin too, before they see his work? I may be young, Mr. Kinney, but I have a few connections and a personality to make more. I’m also very persistent, and persuasive, when I want to be.”

Brian had to smile at that. She reminded him too much of a certain blond. He liked her. A lot. He turned to Justin. “What do you think?”

“I told Arianna I’d think about it,” Justin smiled in her direction. “And that I’d need to talk to you first.”

“Then I guess I’ll hear from you,” Arianna added and excused herself, smiling confidently at the both of them.

“I like her.” Brian stated when they were left alone.

“I like her, too. I’m not too sure about the changing agents thing, though.” Justin admitted.

“Sleep over it. Then let’s talk about it in the morning. You don’t have to decide anything tonight.” Brian wondered if Arianna’s appearance at this particular time in Justin’s career was a coincidence. Though he couldn’t imagine how the tension between Justin and his agent could have leaked to outsiders. Justin didn’t talk about it with anyone apart from Brian and Brian knew it wasn’t in the agent’s interest to let the word slip that Justin Taylor wasn’t particularly happy with recent developments concerning the way his art was received.

Justin nodded, agreeing with Brian and burying his face in the soft silk of Brian’s shirt.

“Tired?” Brian asked.

Justin nodded again, not lifting his head from where it was buried into Brian’s chest.

“Let’s go home then. We have a couple of things to celebrate.”

Justin tilted his face to look at Brian and Brian bent his to touch his lips softly to Justin’s, holding his face between his hands tenderly. He then ran his fingers through Justin’s hair, pushing the blond strands away from his forehead, pressing his lips just under the hairline and murmuring against the skin, “You need a haircut.”

Neither man noticed their interaction being watched with silent smiles by a room full of people. People who only knew Brian as an energetic business man, and who now felt they had witnessed a very private moment between two people, devoted to and very much in love with each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Present, September 2010

The last sunlight of the day was steadily disappearing behind the horizon as Brian drove the ‘Vette on the almost completely deserted road. They sat in comfortable silence, the hushed sounds of the radio playing oldies softly in the background, Brian’s hand resting on Justin’s thigh, Justin’s fingers playing lazily with Brian’s. Justin relaxed further into the comfortable seat, enjoying the relative silence, the sounds of the motor oddly soothing. He hummed quietly along with the music while staring at the passing landscape through the passenger seat window.

The last notes of the song slowly died away and blended in with the next. His thoughts grazed the events of the day – the tense morning that now seemed light-years away; Emma’s appointment with the cardiologist; Kinnetik’s party and the people he met there. Justin didn’t linger on any particular event too long, just letting the day replay itself before his mind’s eye as he continued to hum along. He stopped when he felt a sudden tension in Brian’s body and a slight change in the mellow atmosphere. He turned his head, looking questioningly at Brian who kept his gaze on the road in front of him. His beautiful, and only seconds ago relaxed, expression had turned into a carefully controlled and seemingly emotionless mask.

“Brian—“ Justin began. Then he saw Brian glance quickly to the radio before giving Justin an equally quick look. The music and the lyrics penetrated Justin’s consciousness, the realization making his body go stiff.

He had no conscious memories, neither of the night, nor of the song. But he knew that, even after nine years, Brian’s were still fresh; the wounds still bleeding, the memories still hurting. He reached for Brian’s hand at the same time as Brian reached for the steering wheel, gripping it with both hands, then suddenly veering the vehicle to the right onto a broad curb and coming to a halt.

Brian killed the engine, but left the key in the ignition to keep the radio playing. He jerked open his door and got out. Justin remained seated, perplexed by this unexpected and strange behavior.

Brian came around the car and pulled open the passenger seat door, extending a hand for Justin to take. When Justin did, Brian pulled him out of the car and a few feet away from the road, leaving the door wide open. He pulled Justin into his arms, took his right hand in his left, wrapped the other arm around Justin’s waist and began to sway to the music that softly penetrated the stillness of the night.

Justin felt the tension leave Brian’s body and allowed himself to relax into Brian’s embrace, their movements becoming more fluent with the music.

They moved gracefully under a slowly darkening sky, the first stars their only witnesses. Justin let himself be led by Brian, completely surrendering into the security and warmth of the taller man’s arms, letting Brian dip him and swirl him around. A warm hand on his back pressed Justin’s body into that of his lover, and he heard Brian quietly sing along with the lyrics into his ear.

“ _Don’t you know I love you so,  
Can’t you feel it when we touch,  
I will never never let you go, …”_

Here, Brian stopped singing and smirked down into Justin’s smiling face, rolling his lips into his mouth. Justin threw his head back and laughed out loud. Brian wrapped his arm tighter around Justin’s middle and lifted him off his feet, twirling him around.

“What are you doing?” Justin asked breathlessly when the twirling stopped and they swayed slowly, bodies pressed together tightly, a bright happy smile on his face.

“Making new memories,” Brian answered simply.

A shadow hushed over Justin’s features that Brian didn’t miss.

“What’s with the cloudy skies, Sunshine?”

“Just thinking.” When Brian simply raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner, he continued. “How different our lives could have been, if –“ He took a deep breath before carrying on. “If I hadn’t forgotten, a lot of things would have gone differently. If I would have remembered what you looked like that night a lot of things wouldn’t have happened.”

“How do you figure?” Brian twirled him one last time as the last notes of the song drifted into the night.

“I suppose, you must have looked at me a little bit like you look at me now. If I could have remembered it, I never would have left. I never would have let you get away with half the shit you pulled.” He gave a huff and continued in a low voice, “Ethan never would have had a chance.” Justin finished, voice breaking a little with uncertainty, afraid he might have destroyed the magic of the moment by pointing out their biggest failures and mistakes.

But Brian simply pulled him closer, nuzzling his nose into the blond hair. Then Justin heard him whisper silently, close to his ear, “He never had.”

Gratitude, because Brian understood, washed over him in a wave of relief. “No, he never had.” Justin agreed.

 

>>><<<

 

Ten minutes before reaching Britin a soft and warm summer rain began to come down. Justin hurried to get to the front door when Brian caught his arm and pulled him back into the driveway, wrapping the blond in his arms, the warm water soaking both their clothes. 

Justin tilted his face up, toward the now completely dark sky, letting the droplets of rain wash over his face. He felt Brian’s fingers pull on the front of his shirt, slipping one of his hands under the wet material, skimming the warm wet skin. Brian’s touch felt like a thousand tiny lightning bolts and Justin leaned into the sensation, craving more. The contrast of the rain cooled by a light breeze and Brian’s hot skin was the most incredible feeling Justin could imagine right then.

The tiniest drop of water caught in the lash of Justin’s left eye. Brian stared at it transfixed, mesmerized by how the light from the porch lamp was reflected in it. He leaned in to place his lips ever so softly against Justin’s eyelid, gathering the moisture with his tongue. Justin shivered.

Being wanted by Brian always gave him a rush, it was the ultimate drug. But being _loved_ by him was indescribable. A simple soft touch would morph into a thousand words, lightly grazing fingers into a declaration of affection, and nibbling lips into a million promises.

Justin’s mind clouded with desire. The blond pulled Brian’s head down to attack the taller man’s mouth and vent some of the sensations obscuring his mind. But Brian lowered his head and let his lips sweep over Justin’s eyes, cheeks, lips, licking at the rain droplets.

The feathery touches only increased Justin’s need to feel more of his lover. Justin managed to remove his shirt and was working open the buttons on Brian’s. His palms wandered all over Brian’s chest and shoulders, freeing him of the dress shirt. Justin let his hands roam every inch of Brian’s skin he could reach, the need to taste, feel, and smell overpowering. He let his hands wander down to Brian’s pants and followed with his mouth while his fingers worked Brian’s fly open, his world focused exclusively on the texture and taste of the taller man’s skin.

Brian observed in fascination as Justin lowered himself onto his knees and buried his nose in Brian’s pubic hair, licking at the first water drops that caught there and inhaling deeply Brian’s unique smell. Brian’s restraint dissolved completely as he watched his partner drown in the sensations, an expression of intense rapture on his beautiful face. Brian was barely able to hold his emotions together any longer; a throaty groan escaped his lips.

Justin sighed, trembling with desire as he felt his partner’s reaction. His pants felt agonizingly tight and he thought his dick might burst, the want was so immediate. Brian’s scent always had this effect on him and his dick gave a painful throb as if in affirmation.

Justin’s lips parted and hovered over Brian’s rapidly filling cock, aching to envelop the silky hardness in his mouth, but he forced himself to slow down. The blond breathed warm air across the sensitive skin, enjoying the shudders that ran all over his lover’s body.

Brian let out another quiet groan and sank his hands roughly into Justin’s blond strands, making the smaller man moan. He pulled him up and held his face close, panting heavily, then let his lips wander slowly over Justin’s, barely touching. Justin flicked his tongue across Brian’s bottom lip and gave a loud sigh as Brian’s tongue finally took possession of Justin’s mouth. A tingling sensation ran all over the blond’s body, as the movements grew more uncoordinated. Surrendering to the desire, he forced his body even closer to Brian’s, their chests colliding.

Justin let his fingers find Brian´s erect cock that was pressing incessantly against the smaller man’s belly and began to pump the rock hard shaft. Brian growled into his mouth and broke the heated kiss. His hot breath washed over Justin’s face. They stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments, both darkened with lust, panting heavily.

Justin broke the stare first, looking down at his own hand that was still pumping Brian. He let his other arm wind around Brian’s neck, holding him close. Again seeking eye contact, Justin looked up and stared intently into Brian’s lidded eyes. Never breaking the contact, he continued with his ministrations until Brian’s eyes rolled backwards and he began to leak. Still watching his lover’s face, Justin lowered himself once more onto his knees, licked the mix of pre-cum and rain from the glistening head, then took it into his mouth and sucked gently.

Brian’s breaths came out as short gasps as the blond worked his talented tongue around his aroused member, circling the sensitive tip. His fingers pressed firmer into Justin’s scull as a loud moan escaped his lips.

Letting go of his lover completely, Justin pulled himself up, pressed a quick kiss on the parted lips and took two steps towards the parked car. Turning around, he gave Brian an enticing look and started removing his pants. Brian watched him unmoving. Finally gloriously naked, Justin gave a last smirk, then turned around and bent over the still warm hood of the ‘Vette, not inclined to wait any longer.

Brian shook his head twice as if to clear his mind of the sexual haze. Licking his lips, he gave Justin’s sprawled body an appreciative once-over, before stepping up to his blond lover. His palms travelled over the expanse of Justin’s back, reveling in the softness, his mouth following course.

He pulled out a condom from the pocket of his pants, and, letting them pool around his ankles, slipped it on his cock that was begging for attention since the blond abandoned it. Brian’s lips kissed down the spinal column of Justin’s back and travelled upwards, taking the same route. Brian draped his body over Justin’s, covering him completely. The blond let out a sigh when Brian started nibbling on his neck, just underneath his earlobe while his nimble fingers prodded Justin’s entrance, slowly slipping in, testing Justin’s resistance.

Justin had no patience for taking it slow tonight and pushed fiercely against Brian’s hand. Brian knew when Justin wasn’t in the mood for games, so he pulled out his fingers and positioned himself at Justin’s opening.

“Deep. Make it deep,” Justin huffed.

Brian’s body gave a shiver in response. His hands slid across Justin’s shoulder blades and down his arms, pinning the smaller man’s forearms to either side of Justin’s head, covering him with his own body completely. Brian pressed steadily into the soft, warm opening, ignoring and pushing past any resistance, making Justin take all of him. Deeply imbedded inside Justin’s incredibly hot tightness, Brian held himself still. His chest heaved with every breath that he took while he tried to calm himself. He realized Justin wasn’t moving an inch and waited for the blond to start breathing again. When he felt his lover slowly release the air from his lungs, Brian used his knees to spread Justin’s legs more and felt himself sinking in even further. The motion made Justin gasp for breath.

Brian let go of Justin’s forearms and lifted himself up. The sudden coolness from the evening breeze on the wet skin made Justin shiver. Brian pulled out slowly and pushed back in, repeating the movement a few times at an unhurried pace, sinking deep on every in-stroke. Justin was reeling from the overpowering sensation. His eyes rolled into his sockets. Too full—. His body and limbs felt too heavy to move, so he remained sprawled across the hood. When Brian picked up the pace, sliding smoothly in and out of his body, Justin scrambled for something to hold onto, finding nothing on the sleek and wet surface of the car. He pushed his palms against the smooth surface and tried to lift up, but Brian’s hand on his upper back held him firmly down.

Brian began pounding in earnest, his hands gliding up and down Justin’s back, the body slick and slippery from the rain, Brian’s form gliding effortlessly along the blond’s. He avoided Justin’s prostate to keep the smaller man from coming, giving him time to adjust to the multiple sensations. When he felt Justin starting to meet his thrusts, Brian changed the angle slightly, hitting the sweet spot on every stroke.

Justin started to moan uncontrollably, drowning in the pleasures. The heat inside his body and the cooling breeze numbed his brain; Brian’s incessant touches made shivers run constantly up and down his spine. He felt every droplet of rain fall on his heated skin, each adding fuel to the desire running rampant in his body. He let go completely, relinquishing any control of his body entirely to Brian, trusting him to take him to new, unimagined highs.

Brian slipped a hand around Justin’s hips palming Justin’s straining cock for a moment. He then positioned his hand flat on the hood of the car in a way to give Justin’s stiff member something to rub against while continuing to pound into him. Seconds later, Justin came, screaming Brian’s name and clenching his channel tightly.

Brian groaned loudly when Justin’s muscles contracted, squeezing Brian’s cock almost painfully. He pulled out for one final thrust and pushed back inside, albeit with much less force; slowed down by Justin’s still clenching muscles. Brian pushed unrelentingly inside the now incredibly tight channel, growling with effort before giving into the much welcomed release, emptying himself into the confines of the condom.

Brian waited for his own tremors to subside and for Justin to relax, before he pulled out completely. Justin pushed himself up and turned around to plant an open-mouthed kiss on Brian’s lips. He reached down and pulled the condom off of Brian’s spent cock, discarding it. He pressed another kiss on Brian’s chest, near his heart, before bending down to collect the discarded clothes.

He turned to look at Brian who was watching mesmerized as the rain slowly washed away the last of Justin’s cum off of the ‘Vette’s dark green surface.

“Why didn’t you park in the garage in the first place?” Justin asked him.

Brian twisted his head, gave Justin an amused smirk then walked by him towards the main entrance, not bothering to answer with words. Justin smiled in response and followed him inside.


	6. Chapter 6

Present, September 2010

Brian came out of the bathroom and saw Justin sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, completely naked, pillows hunched up on one end, the duvet on the other. He was sketching, with his back turned towards Brian. The brunet moved around the bed to face the artist. Justin was so engrossed in his drawing, he didn’t even look up. Brian couldn’t tell if he just didn’t want to break his focus or if he truly hadn’t heard him. Continuing with his artwork, Justin bit down on his lower lip in concentration, the tongue sticking out. Seeing the blond wetting his lower lip, raw want surged through the taller man’s body like electricity. The need to sink into and lose himself in this body was sudden and unbearable.

Brian watched him for a few moments, before climbing onto the bed. He stole a glance at the sketch in Justin’s lap. The artist had picked a larger format than he normally would for a pencil drawing. The motif made Brian’s breath hitch. It was a scene from earlier that night. Both of them, dancing outside in the middle of nowhere. The point of view was odd too – a bird’s eye view, but tilted somehow. You could still see the very last ray of sunlight caressing the horizon and being reflected in the parked car’s windshield like a cosmic supernova. The amount of detail was amazing. The blond had his forehead pressed against Brian’s neck; Brian’s fingers were tangled in the soft strands.

Brian guessed Justin must have sketched at light speed to transfer all the finer facets of the scene to paper in the short time it took Brian to shower. He watched carefully for any signs of overexertion in Justin’s hand and, sure enough, saw the first signs of cramping muscles. He reached for the sketch and pulled it slowly from Justin’s grasp, carefully depositing it on the bedside table.

Justin finally looked up at him. His gaze so open and trusting, it almost made Brian’s heart clench. In that very moment, Justin still looked exactly like the seventeen year old boy that sat in the loft’s bed awaiting his next ‘lesson’, trusting Brian beyond reason. Purposefully ignoring the emotions that threatened to spill over, Brian focused instead on his physical reaction and felt his body starting to shake with pent-up desire.

“Close your eyes.” He growled in a low tone. When Justin obeyed without the slightest hesitation, Brian leaned in closer, and whispered, “I wanna be inside you. I want you to imagine my cock pushing into your body, opening you up. You will scream from the pain and the pleasure.” Brian let his gaze wander down Justin’s body and smirked satisfied when he saw Justin’s cock stir and fill. Still not touching him, Brian continued. “I’m going to drive my dick inside you so deep, you’ll be able to taste me. I’m going to shove you full with it until you beg me to stop. And when you do, I’m going to pull out and ram it inside you again. Over and over. I will make you scream my name.”

Justin was trembling all over in anticipation. Brian’s warm breath tickled his ear and made goose bumps erupt all over his naked body. He wanted to beg but couldn’t; the words seemed stuck in his suddenly dry throat.

“Brian.” He finally managed to breathe.

Brian was slowly stroking himself while watching Justin’s skin become flushed. The blond’s cock was deep red and leaking, even though Brian hadn’t even touched him yet. He marveled at the effect he had on his young lover.

Not able to hold back any longer, Brian pounced on Justin’s mouth hungrily, lips and teeth crashing against each other. The force of the impact pushed Justin down on his back and Brian followed, never breaking the passionate attack. Kissing every bit of Justin’s skin he could reach, bruising his neck, sucking hungrily on his collarbone, Brian managed to rip open the foil packet and slip on the condom. He carelessly squirted some lube into his palm and quickly lubed himself before lifting one of Justin’s legs and positioning himself.

“Do it.” Justin huffed.

He pushed into the welcoming tight hotness, making them both groan. Brian started pumping his hips immediately, holding himself up with one arm while the other was pressing Justin’s thigh towards the artist’s body, spreading the blond for the violent onslaught.

They were rushing towards release at a neck speed, Brian growling unintelligible things and Justin urging him on.

“Oh God... Yes. Jesus Fuck…, yes. Brian. Oh…, God, Bri… I can’t… I’m going to… BRIAN!”

His whole body convulsed when white spurts of cum shot out of his dick and all over their chests. Brian followed close behind, filling the condom and collapsing onto his lover. His heart beating furiously against the blond’s rip cage.

After a minute Justin rolled both of them over and moved his head to rest above Brian’s heart.

“That was some celebration.” Justin huffed, laughing quietly.

“I liked your drawing.” Brian answered.

“I can tell.” Justin laughed again.

Brian ran his hand through the sweaty strands of hair, enjoying their softness. He let his fingers wander over the blond’s right shoulder and along his arm till he reached Justin’s hand, now resting comfortably across his stomach. Brian threaded his fingers through the artist’s and, while pressing the pad of his thumb against Justin’s palm, pulled the digits backwards, stretching the overused muscles. He rubbed the tense spots and, as Justin gave a sigh, whispered, “It’s been a fucking long day. Go to sleep.”

Justin moved around a little, making himself more comfortable, and pulled the duvet over both of them. He rested his head in the crook of Brian’s neck, tangling his legs with Brian’s. The blond closed his eyes contentedly when his lover nuzzled his nose in the damp hair. The last thing he heard was Brian taking a deep breath before Justin finally dozed off.

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin’s sleep-heavy body, exhausted, but happy. He was dimly aware of a tune from another oldie from earlier that evening ghosting through his already slumberous mind and, very quietly, hummed a few disjointed notes. Before drifting off to sleep, he breathed in his lover’s scent one more time. He smelled of rainy nights, filled with laughter, and music, and slow beguiling dancing.

 _Some dance to remember; some dance to forget._


	7. Chapter 7

Present, September 2010

**Molly’s POV**

I managed to finally fall asleep after the sounds from their bedroom died down. The master bedroom is not even close to the guest rooms, one of which has been remodeled for me. Boy, are those two loud! I wonder how the twins can sleep through that noise every night. They are going to grow up with quite the sex ed. I suppose they’ll be nothing like ‘normal’ kids their age. But then again, their parents are Brian Fucking Kinney and Justin Taylor, _the_ artist, so we kinda already knew that.

With the pictures of that night’s events still fresh on my mind, I forced myself to close my eyes and go to sleep.

I hadn’t been watching them. I just heard the car pull up and I wasn’t really asleep yet, so I looked out the window to check that it really was the ‘Vette. And there they were. Just standing there, in the rain, holding each other.I couldn’t _not_ watch.

It was my brother down there, and it should have felt icky. But as I kept on looking, one thing became very obvious – it wasn’t Justin, my dumb-ass brother, I was watching. It was Justin; a grown-up man, who was in love. And who was loved back.

It was mesmerizing watching Brian pull up Justin’s shirt, the movements smooth, with a touch of animalistic beauty, but what was even more intriguing, was the self-assuredness of Justin. I have been captivated by Brian from the very beginning but, most of the time, I was a little insecure in his presence, too. He usually acts so sure of himself, so uncompromising and unapologetic. To a young girl like me, he’s always been a little intimidating, though I generally try not to show it; and I suppose he has that effect on not only teenagers. I have often wondered how Justin wasn’t afraid to taunt him, to face him even when Brian was fuming. I’ve seen him walk merrily into the angry lion’s den, not a care on his mind, when others would flee. I remember, once, while I was spending a week of my winter term break at Britin, Brian was furious and shouting into the phone because someone at Kinnetik had fucked up the boards or missed a deadline or something like that. And I needed Brian’s car keys to take the twins to my mom’s house but I was too afraid to even come close to his home office. So I had been prowling the hallway leading to his office, not sure what to do, biting my fingernails nervously. Then Justin came down and asked me what was going on. I told him, and he grabbed me by the hand with a bright smile and a carefree ‘Come on’. When Brian saw us enter, he quickly finished his, what I’m sure was a very one-sided, conversation with a last bark and turned to face us... well, Justin, since I was hovering in the doorway behind him, trying to stay out of the line of fire.

“Are you done decimating your staff yet?” Justin had asked and Brian glared at him in response. My brother only lifted his eyebrows and stared back with an amused smirk until Brian lowered his gaze, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. And that was it. Brian never scared him, and that was something that has always fascinated me, I admitted begrudgingly.

I watched as Justin worked his hand up and down Brian’s shaft, Brian being putty in Justin’s hands – I’ve never seen Brian giving up control like that. I was enthralled, but Justin was acting nonchalant, as if this happened every day. I suppose, in the privacy between the two of them, it does. But I was having a field day. My jaw dropped a little when Justin let go of him, then walked over to the parked car and began to strip his remaining clothes. I stopped watching then, the visual a little too much for one evening.

I went back to bed, but couldn’t sleep. I tried not to listen to the sounds outside, but I thought I heard soft groans and moaning. Though I guess it was all in my imagination. The only sound that was really audible was the constant patter of rain. Then I heard the lock of the front door. They must have come inside. I listened hard as they went up to their bedroom. I thought I heard the shower run, and then nothing for a long time. I heard them again when I was in that phase where you’re really comfy and warm and almost asleep, but the sounds coming from down the end of the hall quickly brought me back to consciousness.

I mean, come on, really? I know they had sex before they left for the office party, because they both had that ‘freshly fucked’ look in their eyes when they came out of the master bedroom, dressed for the event. They definitely did it again less than an hour ago outside. And now _again_? I was twenty, _I_ was supposed to be the horny… ok, not _quite_ teenager anymore. Not my brother and his twelve year older… ehm... I guess ‘partner’ has been the preferred term of choice for some time now.

I resigned myself to the sound show and tried to distract myself by thinking of the really expensive pair of shoes that Brian would be getting me soon as a compensation for tonight’s entertainment program. The ones that would totally match the very cool dress Brian got me after the last time I stayed over.

I so love spending weekends at Britin!

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian walked into the kitchen as I was feeding the twins their breakfast. He nodded a good morning in my direction and went for the coffee machine. Then he sat down beside me, picked up Alex’s bowl and started feeding her, while I continued with Emma. It was quiet for a few minutes. I waited for Brian to finish his cup of coffee before starting a conversation. 

“You might want to invest into some good quality earplugs as the twins grow older.” I told him.

He glanced at me sideways. “What’re you talking about?”

I thought it was obvious, so I only raised my eyebrows to indicate so. I learned the eyebrow thing from him.

Brian creased his forehead, apparently confused. “We had the walls of our bedroom soundproofed when Madeleine got pregnant.” He explained.

Right that moment Justin walked into the kitchen, clad in sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair still damp from the shower. He walked up to Brian and planted a kiss on his lips. Brian responded automatically, returning the kiss.

“Sunshine, did you by any chance forget to close the door to our bedroom last night when I went to take a shower?” He asked with a smirk.

“Huh?” My brother, ladies and gentlemen, 1500 on his SATs. 780 verbal. Eloquent, isn’t he?

“It appears,” Brian elaborated, “your sister wasn’t very amused by your moaning concert last night.”

Justin at least had the decency to blush when realization dawned on his face. “Oh, God.” He groaned. “How much did you hear?”

“You want me to repeat it?” I asked innocently.

“Oh, God.” Justin moaned in embarrassment again.

“Stop! I don’t need a re-enactment.” I enjoyed his uneasiness way too much. I suppose I could have let it go. Hmm. Well, I _was_ his little sister, after all. It was kinda my job to annoy him.

“Light up, Sunshine. Your performance in the bedroom is nothing you should be ashamed of.” Ugh, gross. TMI!

“Shut up, Brian!” Justin exclaimed in a high-pitched voice.

“Oh, come on, big brother, don’t be such a prude.” I teased him.

He glared at me. He couldn’t scare me though. “It’s not like I haven’t seen you in action before.”

“WHAT?!” Justin queened.

Even Brian was surprised by my comment. Though only mildly. He was probably used to performing for an audience.

“When? How? Does Mom know? When?” Justin interrogated. Was that panic I heard in his voice?

“Are you having one of your drama queen moments?” I inquired. I really _was_ curious.

“Molly Taylor, this is _not_ funny!” He threatened, his voice menacingly low. Yep, I guess that answered my question.

“Oh, relax. I couldn’t see that well. I think you should change your porch lights. They’re way too dim. Also, it was raining. So, whatever I might have seen, for however short a time, was probably very blurry.” I gave a cryptic answer.

Justin let his forehead hit the kitchen counter and sobbed dramatically. Brian was really amused by all of this. I was too. But I had to play the psychologically and emotionally traumatized little sister. Shoes, remember?

Brian picked up Alex and went over to Justin. I don’t know what it is exactly, but Brian loves Alex beyond reason. I know he adores them both. But Alex and him – it is special; not more, or better, just different. Of course, he has that special bond with Emma that is unlike anything else, forged through the very first physical contact, which started when she would sleep on his chest because skin to skin contact was supposed to help sick newborns. This special bond made Emma do things for Brian she never did for anyone else. But Alex and Brian… They are so close, it’s like Alex is literally a part of him. Which is impossible, of course, but still.

He was the one who bought her books before she was even tall enough to pick them up. Dr. Seuss, mostly. But others, too. He was the one who always made sure that Alex wasn’t left out when most of the family was concerned with Emma’s wellbeing while she was in the hospital and afterwards. The one who would defend her when family members remarked that it wasn’t healthy for a child her age to be spending so much time staring in a book, ignoring everything around her. The one who would make them all back off and let Alex be. Even though he knew they all meant well.

Alex is the quiet one. She likes to watch whereas Emma loves to be the center of attention. Emma would babble the whole day long, but Alex doesn’t ‘talk’ much. She communicates on different levels. I believe this is what makes Brian and her so much alike. He ‘gets’ her. He gravitates towards her. I don’t think he even notices. It’s always mesmerizing to watch, though.

I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I almost forgot I was on a shoe-retrieving mission. I watched as Brian laced his free hand through my brother’s hair (God, he really has a thing for his hair), whose head was still face-down on the counter, and suggested reassuringly, “Why don’t you go into your studio and work some of that emotional tumult into one of your genius works?”

“Where are _you_ going?” Justin asked, bemused.

“Your sister and I have some shopping to do.” Brian explained and walked over to me, smirking. He ran his hand over my hair, messing it up a little, then kissed the top of my head. He started doing it somewhere around the time when Justin gradually returned from New York. I could have told him to stop. But I kinda like it. Even though I am way too old for that now, it is nice.

“I won’t do much painting with both of the girls around.” Justin said. He was still sulking. What a baby! I rolled my eyes inwardly.

“We’ll take Emma. You won’t have any problems to concentrate on your work with Alex and one hundred of her favorite books around.”

“Okay.” He finally agreed.

Brian handed him Alex, went to pick up Emma, and left the room to get dressed.

Hello-o-o, shoes!


	8. Chapter 8

Present, September 2010

Brian stopped typing the memo he was writing for Cynthia when his concentration was interrupted by a tinny noise coming from the adjoining room. He recognized the ringing tone of Justin’s mobile phone and heard the blond pick up the call seconds later. Brian didn’t mean to eavesdrop but it was eerily quiet in the house and Justin’s voice carried easily into his office. From the bits and pieces of the conversation that reached his ear, Brian could hear that Justin’s voice sounded tense. There was a strain in his undertone that Justin would get when he was frustrated. Brian wondered who he was talking to but thought he had a pretty good idea.

As if to confirm his suspicions, the next piece of his talk reached Brian loud and clear. The blond must have raised his voice. “I’m not saying I won’t show any of my larger works ever again. I just want my smaller pieces shown too.”

…

“I know all about the fucking trends.” Justin was getting agitated from what Brian could tell. “But I think that there is more than enough prospective clients for other _trends_ ,” he almost spit the last word, “and different styles. The people who appreciate new ideas and experiments didn’t just disappear when all major galleries started showing large canvasses, you know.”

…

“Get me a minor one then.” Now he was really getting pissed off.

…

“I don’t care for the whole image to uphold thing. I’m an artist! People expect an artist to do things they don’t anticipate. They’re going to attribute it to me just being eccentric.”

This was not Justin’s first argument, as Brian was very well aware of. And he knew exactly what the fight with his agent was all about. Justin had a few dozen very impressive pieces in his studio that he was trying to bring his agent to pick up. But Peyton was hesitant lest to miss out on the current hype among the New Yorker art connoisseurs who fawned over large scale work. He didn’t want Justin to give over this playfield to new up and comers when large scale was the work Justin became famous for.

“Then find me a gallery _outside_ of New York that would!” Brian heard Justin exclaim before the blond ended the call. Brian returned his attention back to his work, finishing the memo for Cynthia, just as Justin walked into the room.

The blond locked eyes with Brian and held his gaze for a few seconds, silently willing him not to ask questions. Brian wasn’t going to. Justin sank down on the soft rug before the white leather sofa and leaned his head back into the cushions. Soon after, Alex climbed into his lap and his attention was diverted from the talk he had just had with his agent.

„You know, Molly’s going to stay here the whole weekend.” Justin said suddenly, looking up from the book in his lap that he and Alex were perusing since she had made herself comfortable in her daddy’s arms half an hour before. Emma and Molly were still outside in the garden, enjoying the last warm days of a late summer.

Brian looked up from his computer screen. “I wonder what dirty little thoughts are crowding your brain right now, blondie.” He said with a smirk.

“We haven’t been to Babylon together in forever.”

 _Together_. The fact was, Brian realized suddenly, that he couldn’t remember when the last time was that he had been to Babylon for fun, not work. And whenever that was, he was sure, Justin had been with him. He also realized that Justin didn’t know that. He probably thought that Brian was frequenting the dance club whenever he spent a night alone in the city. The truth was that, though he did spend a night at the loft occasionally, it was mostly to catch an early flight the following morning or when he had to work all night to meet a deadline.

He tried to remember the last time he had been with a trick. He couldn’t. Every thought of sex was accompanied by a vision of a certain blond spread wantonly across the bed, the couch, the kitchen counter, the recliner, the tiled wall of the shower stall, the coffee table, the rug in front of the fireplace, his desk at Kinnetik—. Brian re-focused his thoughts on the conversation at hand, pushing the dreaded M-word back into the depths of his mind, for later inspection. He wasn’t too sure how he felt about the whole domesticity thing.

“Babylon it is. Wear something slutty.” Brian replied, earning himself a seductive grin from Justin.

 

>>><<<

 

  
They were almost out the door when Justin turned around and made to go inside again, calling out to Brian that he forgot something and would be back in a few seconds. 

“Molly, could you please call Brian every couple hours?”

“Why?” She asked, scrunching up her forehead.

“Make up an excuse. Like, you can’t find Emma’s favorite toy or ask if Alex had her vitamins yet. Or something. Be creative!” Justin encouraged her with an enthusiastic nod and a grin.

Molly grinned back, suddenly understanding where Justin was coming from. Brian would want regular updates to know that the twins were okay. But they both knew he’d never come forth and ask for it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep him entertained.”

“Thanks, Mollusk. We just want to relax tonight and I don’t want him to worry. But don’t tell him I asked you to, okay?”

“I get it.” Molly agreed.

“It’s not that he doesn’t trust you or anything, you know that, right?”

“I do know. Really, it’s fine. It’s kinda cute, actually.”

“Yeah…” Justin dragged out slowly. “Don’t tell him that either.” He turned to leave but poked his head inside again. “There’s no extra pair of shoes for you in it, just so we’re clear.”

Molly was stunned for a second before laughing out loudly and rushing him outside.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Walking into Babylon was exhilarating. It was like diving into a sea of boiling men, music, and the smells of sex, sweat, and sin. Justin looked around, his blood raced. He loved the atmosphere, reveled in all the sensations, all the time perfectly aware of Brian’s firm hand on his neck, holding him possessively. He loved that, too. 

They made it to the bar, hungry looks from dozens of men following their strides. Justin scanned his companion up and down. Brian looked fucking hot in his simple, worn blue jeans and black t-shirt, clinging to his chest and abdomen, accentuating his defined muscles. Fuck, Justin thought, he looked exactly like he did the night Justin met him.

Brian signaled the bartender for two JB shots and downed the first. He pulled Justin in by his neck and kissed him, let his tongue invade the blond’s mouth, tasting. He grabbed Justin’s ass and rubbed their cocks together. Justin moaned unrestrained into Brian’s mouth and wound his arms around Brian’s neck, pushing himself tighter against the taller man. The brunet sucked on Justin’s tongue furiously and pulled him up on his toes to explore more of the wet, hot cavity, bruising soft and full lips.

Justin broke the kiss, panting, his chest heaving, and muttered against the corner of Brian’s mouth, “Fuck.”

Brian grinned a wolfish smile and licked the blond’s lips, enjoying the lingering sweet and innocent taste of his lover.

“Hmmm. You taste like seventeen.” Brian told him. _And he always would_ , Brian added to himself.

Justin flushed furiously at the statement, which made Brian chuckle. He pulled the blond’s face closer and whispered in his ear, “Ten years... Ten fucking years and I can still make you blush. I love that.”

Warmness spread through Justin’s veins, starting in his toes and quickly flooding his entire body as love and surprise dueled in his eyes. He smiled into his lover’s face in adoration. Brian watched the emotions wash over Justin’s face and pulled him onto the dance floor before Justin could respond.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian pushed his tongue and half an E along with it into Justin’s mouth. Justin kept dancing with his eyes closed, his head thrown back in the ecstasy of music, lights, and Brian’s touch. Brian sucked on lightly on Justin’s neck, all the while rubbing his erection lazily on Justin’s hipbone. 

Brian noticed a presence behind Justin’s back and opened his eyes to glare at the intruder. A muscular, but not overly so, dirty blond had put his hand on Justin’s waist and was rubbing his impressive package on Justin’s ass, that was accentuated by the tight dark blue denim. Brian was ready to tell the guy to fuck off when he noticed Justin’s smile widen, eyes still closed, and rubbing his behind teasingly on the stranger’s crotch.

Justin’s twinkling eyes found Brian’s. The blond was definitely in the mood to play and Brian felt slightly nauseous when jealousy roared its ugly head in his gut. He wanted the intruder gone but Justin was enjoying the attention. There were times when seeing Justin fuck someone else gave him a rush. Now, the thought of his partner being touched by someone else, someone to whom Justin would be nothing more than an exceptionally talented trick, was making him sick. Fuck!

Brian turned away and grabbed the first guy in sight, pulling him closer and starting to move against him. The guy looked like Christmas had come early and pressed his crotch closer to Brian’s, whispering in his ear, “You want me to suck you? I have a very talented tongue.”

The only tongue Brian was interested in at the moment was a certain blond’s but he was occupied otherwise. Fuck, Brian thought again. How could he have been so wrong? He let the anger wash over, welcomed the white and blinding heat of it. Right when he thought things were going really well… “Fuck!” He exclaimed and tried really hard to keep his eyes on his new dance partner. He didn’t see the confused look on Justin’s face when he had left him to dance alone with the dirty blond.

Justin tried to swallow down his disappointment, turned to face the muscular man who was pushing up against him. He swayed his hips in time with the music, but his equilibrium was off, he was no longer in the mood for dancing. He spun around to watch his lover but found Brian gone. Fuck. How could the evening have turned around so quickly? One minute they were having fun, rubbing against each other, teasing, building up heat, the next Brian was gone and no doubt halfway down some stranger’s throat or ass by now. Justin brushed off dirty blond’s hands, and moved towards the bar. He needed something strong.

He paused mid-step when he neared the counter and saw Brian swallowing two shots in quick succession, a smirking Emmett standing close by. The man waved, smiling brightly, when he saw Justin approach.

Brian, at Emmett’s greeting, turned his head to see the new arrival. Realizing, it was Justin, he immersed himself again in his drink. Emmett made a face at the blond and hurried to get away from what he suspected would become a major blow-up.

Justin leaned sideways against the bar, so he could see the side of Brian’s face who refused to acknowledge his presence and kept staring stoically straight forward. Justin was ready to rip him a new one until he saw the hard lines around Brian’s mouth.

He changed tactics. “Brian, what the fuck just happened?”

Brian ignored him.

“You left me there on the dance floor. We were having fun and suddenly you’re snatching a trick and the next minute you’re gone. That was a shitty thing to do. I thought you’d gone to the backroom.”

Brian suddenly became agitated and exploded into Justin’s face. “Sunshine,” he sneered, “I haven’t been to the backroom for over a year!”

Justin froze, just staring at him. His brain tried to wrap itself around the idea behind the statement, but he found it difficult to pull together coherent thoughts right now. He remembered how to blink and wetted his eyes a few times before finally pressing out, “Brian, are you saying—?” He grabbed the brunet’s hand that rested on the counter, but Brian shook him off.

Justin took a quick sweep of the room to see how much of an audience they had drawn, then reached for Brian’s upper arm with both his hands and pulled him towards a less crowded corner under the stairs. He spun Brian around, seeking out his eyes but Brian was refusing direct eye contact and focused instead on the wall behind Justin’s shoulder.

Justin looked at him, waiting for a reaction. He then placed a soft kiss on the corner of the taller man’s mouth, another on the cheekbone, then next to his nose, his temple. Justin peppered Brian’s face with tiny, feather light kisses and murmured between kisses, “I love you. I love you. I love you. I fucking love you!”

After a while Brian pulled away a few inches to look him in the eyes. Justin took Brian’s face in his hands and repeated, while looking deep into his eyes, “I love you.” Then reached up on his toes and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his lips. When he pulled back, he said, “I didn’t know.”

Brian just watched him. “Fuck.” With it, he pulled Justin in and clutched the smaller man to him like a drowning man would hold onto his lifesaver.

“Over a year?” Justin asked into the shirt.

“Give or take.” Brian answered. Then added in an almost mumble so Justin had difficulties understanding him, “Not since the girls—“ He cleared his throat. “Actually, since Maddie’s test came back positive.”

“I didn’t know.” Justin repeated and did the math quickly. It was closer to two years, but Justin decided now was not the right moment to point that out.

“I know you didn’t.”

“So, what now?” Justin asked tentatively.

Brian feigned he didn’t understand. “What do you mean – what now? You can still fuck the guy if you want.” _But please don’t_.

“I don’t. I never wanted to fuck him. I was just playing, like we used to. I don’t want him. Or anyone else besides you. I haven’t, for a long time now.”

“How long?” Brian was holding his breath on the inside.

“Since New York?” Justin answered but it came out as a question.

“You came back almost three years ago.” Brian stated.

“I know.”

“Sunshine.” Brian keened. “Everything is a big drama with you, isn’t it?”

“I learned from the queen.” Justin gave a toothy grin.

“Come on, princess. You owe me a blowjob.” Brian said and pulled the blond towards the backroom.

“I do? What for?”

“You let someone else touch what’s mine.”

Justin laughed in response and let himself be pushed onto his knees in front of Brian.


	9. Chapter 9

Present, October 2010

Brian was having one of those dreams where he knew he was dreaming, yet the idea of waking up never entered his mind. Scenes from the past mixed with each other and morphed into new, disconcerting endings.

 _King of Babylon contest. Justin’s gyrating moves on the stage morphing into Justin fucking Brian’s trick, the trick morphing into Ethan Gold._

 _Justin knocking on Brian’s office door. Brian telling him to have a seat. “Mr. Kinney, I gave it some thought and I decided I should take him back.” Justin getting up and leaving, the cheap ring on his finger catching light as he’s walking out of his office._

 _The blond hustler turning to look at him mid-fuck, “He left because of you. Who wouldn’t?”_

A warm hand brushed across his forehead and came to rest on his cheek. Brian wasn’t sure if he was still dreaming or if it was real.

“Shh.” He felt warm breath exhaled near his ear and again the soft stroke of fingers across his forehead, brushing back his hair. He finally opened his eyes. Darkness surrounded him. But it wasn’t threatening. Justin’s warm and soft body was beside him, safely tucked under the sheets. _A dream. Just a dream._ Brian nodded in the blond’s direction to signal he was okay now. Justin must have believed him because soon he fell asleep again.

Brian lay awake for a while, trying to make sense of the weird dream. He hadn’t thought about Justin leaving him for a very long time. Not since New York.

 

>>><<<

  
Spring 2005

Not really surprising to Brian, the first few weeks with Justin gone, the days somehow lost some of their color. He hadn’t been aware before just how much of his daily routine Justin made up. When he woke up the first morning without Justin, he chuckled because he usually set his alarm clock at least thirty minutes earlier so they could enjoy an extended shower or a lazy morning fuck.

Justin called his cell. Brian rejected the call.

He gradually started to change his routine, removing everything that was reminiscent of Justin’s presence in his life. He packed up the few items Justin had left behind and stashed them in the far back of his utility closet. Everything – from the spare inhalator in the nightstand drawer near the bed and the almost empty bottle of allergy medication in the bathroom cabinet, to the set of carbon pencils sitting on the coffee table and the old t-shirt of his which Justin usually used to paint in. He even threw in the opened box of Cheerios from the kitchen and went so far as to delete the shortcut to Justin’s files from his computer desktop.

A week later he retracted the box and returned the items to their rightful places. He may not have Justin, but he was adamant about hanging on to the memories of him. He wasn’t ready to give up on those yet.

Justin called twice a day. Brian let his voicemail pick up the calls. He wouldn’t return them, but in the lonely hours of the night, he’d listen to his voice. Feeling more and more like a pathetic loser every time he hit replay.

Two months after that the mask began to slip. Not that he was fooling anyone. Keeping up the spirit of unaffectedness was costing him more energy than he had anticipated. When being reminded of Justin not only by every single member of their fucked up family but also by everything that he touched caused more pain than he was able to bear, Brian left the loft, and moved to West Virginia.

Justin stopped calling. Instead, he began leaving messages with Cynthia. Brian endured her constant reminders of Justin’s calls for exactly two weeks before threatening to fire her and for the first time since Cynthia started to work for Brian, she actually believed him.

Pretty much around the same time, Brian’s world started to spin out of control. When Justin wasn’t there, his world was off-balance. Earth still kept turning. Things happened. Problems arose and got solved. People got up in the morning and went to work. But everything seemed slightly distorted somehow. Like a Picasso painting. The big picture still recognizable, but the details disconnected, lost, floating around with no anchor grounding them, waiting to be pinned down again into the place they righteously belonged to.

Admitting a small defeat, Brian conceded to allow himself five minutes a day to wallow in self-pity. Three months came and went and the horizon seemed drearier than ever.

 

>>><<<

   
Cynthia buzzed the intercom, announcing a call from one of his major clients.

“Kinney.”

“I swear, if you hang up on me, it’ll be the last time you heard my voice.”

The venom in his tone told Brian to take the threat seriously.

“What are you trying to do, Brian? You’re not answering my calls, or emails, or voice messages. You told Cynthia she’s not to forward any personal information regarding your person to me. You’re shutting me out. _Again_. What are you hoping to achieve by treating me like shit? You think you can diminish my feelings? Lessen them somehow by being an asshole? It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t matter what you do, because my world will still crumble and shatter into pieces the minute you stop being a part of it.”

Justin stopped to take a deep breath and Brian heard he was trying to keep the tears in. He didn’t say anything and waited for the blond to continue.

“Can you imagine what it’s like being here all alone? I feel like there’s something inside me pressing against my skin, it’s maddening. I feel like my whole body is itching but I can’t do anything to stop it. Do you have any idea what it’s like? When the thing that requires the most energy isn’t work or a project or taking care of a too-enthusiastic Gus or even partying, but existing? When all energy is devoted to the thought of just making it through another day?”

Brian could hear him desperately snap for air through the sobs that must be shaking his body. Brian’s heart bled for the pain that Justin was experiencing. That he was the cause of.

“Please, Brian, please don’t do this. I cannot be here, in New York, without you.” He stopped for a second. “I need to know you’re with me in this.”

Brian closed his eyes. Torn between what he thought Justin needed and what he knew Justin wanted.

“Brian, promise me that this isn’t the end. I will come back this very day if you don’t promise me that this isn’t the end! I know you think New York is the opportunity of my lifetime, one I would live to regret if I didn’t try it. And it might be. Career wise. But so is my life with you, Brian. It goes both ways. Because when I go to sleep at night, I don’t dream of awards, money, exhibitions, or the fucking MOMA. I dream about what Britin must look like when trees start to lose their leaves, about Gus’ eyes lighting up when he opens a present. And your voice. Every fucking night I dream about the sound of your voice! I cannot lose you for New York. I won’t. I won’t allow a ninety minutes flight to come between us and what we have. I won’t do that!” He declared.

Brian remained silent; the ache in his chest almost cutting off his air supply.

“Are you there with me?” Justin asked, voiced laden with insecurity.

“Yes.” It was the first word Brian had spoken since answering the phone.

“You need to help me do this, Brian. You have to meet me half-way. I could walk all the way on my own, with the same result, but it wouldn’t be same. Brian—“ Justin pleaded.

“Justin.” Brian cut him off. “I said yes.”

“Yes? As in you’ll do your share of walking?”

Brian rolled his eyes. Drama princess. “Yes.”

“Good.” Brian could hear him smile all over the phone line. “Because I asked Cynthia to clear your schedule for the weekend after next. She’ll have your flight information.”

Brian smiled. Breathing required so much less energy all of a sudden.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Present, October 2010

The next two and a half years were a blurry slur in Brian’s memory, with an occasional highlighted spot here and there. What he remembered best was the easiness with which they made it work. Knowing that every visit wasn’t the last, that the tickets for the next one were already booked and paid for, had made the situation easier and smoothed a few bumps in the road.

He remembered a short conversation he had with Debbie once, shortly after Justin left.

“He’ll be back. Sooner than you think.” She had said confidently.

“What makes you say that?”

“Because he’s Justin. And what Justin wants, Justin gets.” She had stated matter-of-factly.

Brian’s heart had soared at that. He couldn’t detect any fault in her logic.

He remembered every show and every fawning review that followed. He also remembered how after every successful exhibition Justin would stay longer at Britin. Until one day, without even noticing how, Brian realized that they spent more time together at their house in West Virginia than they did apart.

And a couple months after that Justin had told him that there was no need for him to stay in New York any longer.

“The majority of my shows aren’t even in New York anymore. And it doesn’t really matter whether I arrive at my next exhibition coming in from LaGuardia Airport or from Pittsburgh International.”

“So,” Brian had drawled at that, “what adventure will come next?”

 

>>><<<

 

  
Christmas 2006

“I love you.” Justin huffed in post-orgasmic bliss.

There was a long pause where neither man was moving or speaking while their heart rates returned back to normal. Justin felt satiated and sleepy. He closed his eyes, listening to Brian’s rhythmical breathing.

“Why?”

“What?” Justin, eyes still closed, responded sleepily, more on auto-pilot than in a conscious effort.

Brian didn’t answer, so Justin opened his eyes and found himself being watched by Brian. Brian stared at him with an intense glare, repeating the question with his eyes. This was important to him, Justin surmised. Important enough that he would not repeat it. Saying it once already exhausted what strength he had. Saying it again was beyond what he was capable of.

What was he asking? Justin’s thoughts raced. _Why?_ Why what? Justin, for the life of him, couldn’t remember what they had been talking about before. Work?

‘ _Why?’_ No. Doesn’t fit.

 _I love you._

 _Why?_

What kind of question was that? He looked into the brunet’s eyes and what he saw made his breath hitch. He didn’t know. He truly didn’t know.

Justin’s heart broke. How could he ever put in words what Brian did to him on the inside? How could he make him understand that he would willingly trade a lifetime _without_ Brian for every second he could spend _with_ him? Words would never do justice to what he felt. He collected his racing thoughts, suddenly feeling very awake, and tried his best to mold his feelings into a verbal frame. Praying to every deity known to man that Brian would understand.

“I love your kind heart.” He pressed a kiss on Brian’s chest. “I love your innate goodness that even your parents couldn’t destroy.” He kissed his throat. “I love your sense of justice and your individual set of principles, and that you’re unwilling to compromise them for anything.” He brushed his lips across Brian’s temple. “I love the way you love your son.” He kissed his forehead. “I love how you care for your friends and don’t expect anything in return.” A kiss on his ear shell. “I love that you give unconditionally.” Justin kissed his lips. “And I love your sense of humor.” He kissed his eyes. “But most of all I love how you make life matter.” A kiss on his chin. “I love your—“

Justin yelped when Brian suddenly rolled over him, silencing him by pressing his lips onto his mouth. Brian reached over Justin’s head to the nightstand for a condom. Squirting some lube directly onto Justin’s hole, smearing it around with his fingers a little, pushing a little bit of lube inside.

Brian lined up his cock and pushed oh so slowly inside. It didn’t hurt in the least. Justin was still stretched from their previous actions. When Brian completely embedded himself in the blond, he held still. His eyes never leaving Justin’s, he said, “Okay.”

Justin wasn’t too sure what Brian meant by that or if he even believed him, but he took it as a sign that Brian was acknowledging Justin’s truth, maybe even letting go of some of his doubts.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Present, October 2010

Justin’s soft, warm, and sleep-pliant body stretched beside Brian and Brian scooped him up in his arms. He held him close, trying not to rouse him. Brian cherished those early morning hours when Justin would instinctively respond to Brian’s touch.

Brian remembered the panic he had felt when he first realized that he loved that sort of cuddly, malleable Justin. He also remembered his reaction: Fucking every trick in sight. Almost fucking Justin out of his life.

Brian shuddered. It could have been the last straw that would have made Justin leave forever. He had gambled recklessly with the most important thing in his life. Irrational panic enveloped him when Brian reminded himself that one of those mornings in the past could have been the last time he held Justin like this.

He squeezed the blond closer to him, reminding himself that Justin was still there. Was still his. Grateful for Justin being the stubborn and persistent little shit that he was.


	10. Chapter 10

Present, October 2010

Brian was having a bad day. Two weeks ago, Brian had had a meeting with the CEO, the PR consultant, and several managers from various departments of Cuylen Inc., a luxury cars manufacturer from Europe. They were shopping around for a new advertising agency that would market their new product – a high-end town car limousine peppered with modern technology and every amenity one could think of. The design, and love for detail, as well as an unmatched individual customer service, made for a very high end quality product. Brian had been given the opportunity to experience that for himself. He was also given till the end of the month to come up with a brilliant marketing idea. Even though the end of month was still more than three weeks away, Brian knew that, if you didn’t have the slightest idea how to sell a specific product, three weeks could be over sooner than even he could imagine. And for the first time Brian could think of, he was having doubts about being able to pull this one off.

Brian tried to stimulate his muses by yelling at the art department, however, he still came up blank. Ted didn’t help matters by pointing out that this account could easily catapult them into the major leagues and towards a New York office. For that, he got to take some of the yelling, too.

Cynthia announced Justin on line one. Brian grabbed the phone and swiveled around in his chair to take the call.

“Yes?” He tried to reign in his foul mood; however. it wasn’t lost on the blond.

“A bad day at the office, dear?” Justin asked teasingly.

Brian’s first instinct was to blow off some steam by doing some more yelling. He figured though, he’d have hell to pay later, and tried to calm his nerves by taking a few deep breaths. “You could say that. Why don’t you come over and help me alleviate some of the stress?”

Justin laughed at that. He knew Brian was trying to keep his mood in check for Justin’s benefit. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

Brian took another deep breath contemplating if he should confide his doubts to Justin. “I’ve been offered an account; but I can’t come up with any usable idea. This never happened before.”

“What’s the product?” Justin switched into professional mode.

“Luxury cars. A new player.”

“Oh.” Justin said, and made a face. “Isn’t that kinda… I don’t know… unwise to attempt to get a foot in the door in this market? I’d have thought that the market is already pretty much covered.”

“Yes. You’re not wrong about that. It’s a European based manufacturer who’s been very successful selling their limousines in the high-income countries like Luxemburg, Switzerland, and some more. Now they’re trying to get a foot in the American market.”

“Are they any good?”

“Amazing, actually. Every vehicle comes with its own service contact, available to the customer 24/7. Basically, it’s a virtual butler slash assistant built in.”

“It sounds nice. Can I have one of those?”

“Not if I don’t come up with something genius really soon.”

“What do you have so far?”

“Not much, really. I know what the ad should look like graphics-wise. That’s not the problem. I just don’t think now is the right time to market a luxury product. The economy is still recovering, money’s tight. This is every ad agency’s nightmare – great product, bad timing. No wonder they’ve been towed from one agency to another. I asked around – not one of the New Yorker agencies will do it.”

“And now they’ve come to the best.”

“Apparently they don’t think I’m the best or they wouldn’t have shopped every other ad man first.”

“Well, they’re about to learn a lesson, then.” Justin replied, his confidence in Brian never wavering. The brunet had to smile at that. “If there’s someone who can do this, it’s you. You can sell anything, anytime. That’s what sets you apart from the others.”

A dead silence followed and Justin was wondering if Brian was still on the phone. “Brian?”

“Sunshine, you’re a fucking genius.” Brian exclaimed and Justin heard Brian hammering away on his computer. He knew better than to interrupt and waited patiently for him to return to their conversation.

Finally, Brian re-emerged. “Why were you calling?”

“Oh.” Justin made a face again. He almost forgot he was the one who called. “You’re not going to like this. Lindsay called.”

Brian tensed, his hand gripping the phone tighter.

“She said,” Justin continued, “she didn’t think it was such a good idea for Gus to spend his Christmas holiday with us at Britin.” The words came out in a rapid fire as if this would minimize the potential for disappointment that they carried.

“Why not?” Brian’s voice was deceptively calm.

“She thinks we have our hands full with the twins and she’s afraid Gus will come short.”

“That’s the same excuse she gave last year.”

“I know.” Justin answered quietly.

“I’ll give her a call.”

“Okay. You’re gonna be home for dinner?”

“I’ll try to.”

“Later, then.”

“Later.”

 

>>><<<

 

Justin bit down on his lower lip after hanging up the phone. He knew Brian was upset. He hoped Brian could change Lindsay’s mind. Justin already tried to talk to her, but she was adamant. Justin didn’t understand her reasoning.

“ _Linds, you were right about not letting Gus spent last Christmas with us. We were still adapting to having the twins around, getting into the routine of things. But it’s different this year.”_

 _“They’re still babies, Justin. They still require all of your attention. I don’t want Gus to feel left out.”_

 _“Alex and Emma turned one the month before last. They’ll be 16 months old around Christmas. Yes, they do require our attention but they’re really low maintenance. And other parents manage to have three kids at the same time, too. More even. You don’t think_ we _can?”_

 _“Justin—“ Linds tried to get a word in._

 _“No, Linds. No. How can you even say that Gus will feel left out? He will if you don’t let him come to stay with his dad. Brian will be devastated.”_

 _“I have to think about my own son first. Gus will be devastated when he comes to stay with you and Brian and Brian is too occupied otherwise to spend time with him.”_

 _“Brian would never do that.”_

 _“Really? Like he would never go to the leather ball and leave Gus with you?”_

 _Justin couldn’t believe it and had to bite his tongue not to groan out loud. “That was years ago. Almost a_ decade _ago. Brian is a different person now. You haven’t even really seen him with his daughters. He’s a good father, Lindsay.”_

 _“I know you think so, Justin. “_

 _“You don’t think he is?” Justin asked, stunned. Lindsay remained silent and Justin admitted defeat this time. He only had one last thing to add. “Lindsay, when you talk to him, when you talk to Brian, please, please, I’m begging you, don’t tell him you think he’s not a good dad.”_

 _“I won’t. Bye, Justin.”_

 _“Bye.”_

Sounds coming from the baby monitor in the twins’ room ripped Justin from his musings. Alex was probably awake from her nap. He put away the brush and covered the painting he was currently working on to go get his daughter.

“Hey sweet pea, did you have a nice dream?” He kissed the top of Alex’s head and lifted her from her crib. He looked into the one next to it and saw that Emma was still sleeping. Positioning the transmitter of the baby monitor beside Emma’s bed, he left the nursery with Alex.

He’d wait with the afternoon snack until Emma was awake, Justin decided. It was easier cleaning up the mess just once. Justin went into his studio, sat Alex down on the thick, soft carpet in one corner of the studio and put a few sheets of paper and wax crayons in front of her. They painted together for a while. When Alex was occupied, he got up and cleaned his brushes he had left in the sink earlier.

His mind repeatedly wandered off to think about how Brian’s talk with Lindsay would go.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian paced in his office. Yelling at Lindsay would not lead to the desired results, so he tried to calm himself. After a while he finally called her cell. 

“Lindsay? It’s Brian.” He said when he heard her pick up.

“I take it you spoke to Justin?” She asked tentatively.

“Tell me why you won’t let Gus spend Christmas with us. And I want the real reason. Don’t give me shit about him being left out.”

“Brian, I really think—“ She began. But Brian cut in.

“So, come too. You, and Melanie, and JR. You can all stay with us. There’s enough room for all of you.”

Lindsay hadn’t expected that. “Ehm, Brian. I don’t know what… I don’t know if this is such a good idea. You and Melanie don’t have the best history when it comes to being in the same room. You wouldn’t want us there for the whole holiday.”

“Bullshit, Linds. You know I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t want you there. He’s my kid, too.” Brian interjected. “Remember our conversation when you asked me for my sperm? Remember how I said no first?”

“You said Kinney men shouldn’t be fathers. They don’t make good dads.” Lindsay admitted in a subdued voice.

“Yes, that’s what I said. Remember what you told me then?”

Lindsay didn’t answer.

“You said,” Brian continued, “you’d help me be a good father if I ever wanted to be one. I want to. So, come on, Linds. Let’s do it. Help me be a good dad for Gus.”

“He asks about you a lot. He asks about Justin, too.”

“Then why won’t you let me see him?”

“You can see him anytime you want to come here.”

“Okay, then, why won’t you let him come here? What’s different here?”

Lindsay finally broke. “What’s he going to think when he sees the twins who live with you and Justin? He would want to know why he can’t live with his daddy, too.”

“That’s it? This is about _you_?! You’re jealous because you think I didn’t want Gus the same way I wanted the twins? God, Lindsay! _You_ moved away. You cannot punish _me_ for that. And yes, maybe I didn’t want him the moment I was jerking off into that cup, but after he was born? Things changed, you know that. I signed the rights over to Mel as a favor to _you_ , not because I didn’t want _him_.”

Lindsay remained silent. Somewhere during his outburst, Brian started pacing his office again. He concentrated on his breathing, counting to ten. Then, in an effort to steer the conversation away from the dangerous topic and back to the issue at hand, he announced calmly, “Justin and I would be very honored if the four of you would come and spend Christmas with us. What do you say?”

Her voice shook slightly when she answered in a forced polite way, trying to be civil. “I’ll have to talk to Melanie first, but I think it’ll be okay. We’re looking forward to it.”

“Thanks, Lindsay.”

 

>>><<<

 

  
“How’d the talk go?” Justin asked Brian after dinner. 

“We’ll have company with us over the holidays.”

Justin raised his eyebrows.

“Don’t ask, Sunshine.” Brian cut him off before the blond could say another thing.

“Okay.” Justin agreed. He knew Brian would talk eventually. He just needed some time to get to terms with the whole situation in his own head first.

“I’m going to take a shower. You wanna save some water?” Justin cocked an eyebrow at Brian enticingly, changing the subject completely.

Brian followed Justin into the bathroom and stood in the doorway, watching the blond as he stripped off his clothes. When Justin reached for his shirt to pull it over his head, Brian stopped him.

“You’re in a hurry?”

Justin smiled and slowed down his movements, putting on a show for his lover. He snapped open the button of his pants, and pulled the zipper down, torturously slow. He let go of the pants and stroked the creamy white skin just above the pubic hair that was visible between the open fly. Justin ran one hand up his abdomen and let it slip under the t-shirt. He tweezed his left nipple, then circled it with a finger. Brian was watching his every move. He licked his lips when the shirt slipped up revealing more of Justin’s taut skin. Brian wanted to run his tongue over each millimeter of it and taste the delicate flavor.

Justin turned his back to Brian and unhurriedly pulled his shirt up, slow by slow revealing the line of his spine. He pulled the shirt over his head and threw it blindly in Brian’s direction. Brian caught it and laughed. Then pressed the soft and Justin-warm material to his nose and took a deep breath, filling his nostrils with Justin’s unique scent.

Justin heard Brian’s breathing become shallower and hooked his thumbs in his waistband, pulling the jeans and his underwear slowly down. He bent over slightly to give his lover a better view of his ass as he exposed it inch for inch. Once they were all the way down, he stepped out of his pants but didn’t turn around, waiting for Brian to make the first move.

Brian quickly donned his clothes, took two steps towards the blond and let his hands travel around and down Justin’s chest while he let himself sink down to his knees, dragging his tongue across every bump in Justin’s spine in the process. Justin gave an involuntary shiver and grabbed the edge of the sink in front of him for support.

Brian parted Justin’s cheeks and blew warm air across the puckered hole. He laved the bud with his tongue, increasing the pressure on the succulent bud with every swipe. Justin relaxed his muscles and gave a deep growl when he felt Brian’s tongue push against the resistance and slip in. Brian’s rough tongue caressed the smooth inside of Justin’s entrance while his teeth nibbled on the wrinkled flesh. Justin grabbed his own cock and started tugging on it, still clutching the sink to keep upright.

Brian kept up his attack on the blond’s asshole and Justin couldn’t help but increase the speed of his hand working his cock. But he didn’t want to come like that.

“Inside. Brian…” He panted. “Come when you’re… ah… inside me. Wanna come… with you… inside me. Oh God…”

Justin let out a relieved moan when Brian let go of his pucker and pulled himself up. He pushed Justin inside the shower stall, turning the shower head sideways to regulate the water temperature before directing the water jet on them. He pushed Justin against the tiled wall, grabbed lube and condom from the soap niche and quickly prepared the blond before plunging inside. Justin started pushing back almost immediately. Too horny to care much about technique, Brian began to pound into him, slamming Justin against the wall on every in-thrust.

“Fuck.” Brian breathed into Justin’s ear. “So hot. So tight.” He sucked on Justin’s neck so hard he felt the blood draw up to the surface, not caring that he was leaving a very visible mark that the blond would certainly bitch about later.

The brunet reached around, grabbed Justin’s straining cock in his fist and squeezed it around the head, bathing in the scream the motion elicited from Justin.

“I wanna fuck you forever.” Brian moaned and sank his teeth again in Justin’s neck, right under the corner of his jaw this time.

They erupted at the same time, Justin’s cum decorating the tiles before the water washed away the intricate artwork. Brian pressed the smaller body into the wall, not moving, still embedded in the warm tightness.

“I wanna come inside you.” Brian whispered, his hot breath washing across Justin’s ear, making the younger man shudder.

Justin snorted a laugh. “You just did.”

Brian pulled out slowly, and Justin cringed as the latex rubbed against his now sore tissue. The lube almost completely gone now, thanks to their voracious lovemaking and the water streaming down on them. The brunet stripped the condom and ran his fingers along the blond’s crack and across the burning and throbbing hole, still slightly open.

“I wanna come inside you.” Brian repeated.

Justin finally understood. He turned around to face Brian and just looked at him, assessing if his lover was really asking what he thought he was asking or if they were soaring somewhere in the fantasy realm of a post-coital world. But Brian’s gaze was clear, open, and honest. He reached for the blond’s hand, pulled it around himself and directed the artist’s fingers between his own crack. Justin let his index finger find Brian’s hole and stroked it. Brian closed his eyes briefly, then focused his gaze on Justin again.

“I wanna feel you come inside me, too.”

Justin gulped. His mind reeled. He grabbed Brian’s head with his free hand, and pulled him down for a kiss. He plunged his tongue again and again into the brunet’s mouth, thanking him over and over. His lips were crushed under the force of the kiss, Brian’s tongue taking possession of his mouth. Justin let the finger that was still resting on Brian’s opening slip inside a little, making Brian buck and moan into his mouth but never breaking the kiss. He sucked on the brunet’s lips and waited for Brian to relax his muscles to pull out his finger before finally letting go of the mouth.

“Okay.” Justin said simply, not wanting to make a big scene and get all emotional about it.

“I’ll have Cynthia call you and tell you when my next appointment is, okay?”

“Sure.” Justin replied breathlessly, ready to agree with everything that the brunet suggested. He still couldn’t believe they were talking about doing it raw. And not in a sometime-in-the-future kind of way, but were talking about the real prospect of it. “Although I assume we’ve been tested in the last two years? We don’t really _need_ to—” Justin thought out loud.

“I know. Just… indulge me?” Brian said. If they really _were_ going to do it, he wanted to be completely on the safe side. This was going to be done right.

“Okay.” Justin agreed easily. After all these years, waiting a little bit longer was really not that big a deal. “Fuck.” Justin let his forehead rest on Brian’s shoulder when the enormity of their decision settled in his mind.

“Yeah.” Brian agreed.


	11. Chapter 11

Spring 2007

Brian straddled Justin’s hips, positioning himself on top of Justin’s lower back. He knew his lover couldn’t take his whole weight, so he tried to keep most of it on his own knees. Justin looked up and over his shoulder when he felt Brian change positions. Since Brian faced away from him, he could only admire his back. For a few moments Justin watched, mesmerized by the elegant line of Brian’s spine and the rippling muscles. Brian, sensing he was being watched, turned to look at the blond, giving him a smirk that clearly stated he had plans for the evening.

“Brace yourself. This is gonna take a while.” Brian confirmed Justin’s suspicions.

Brian used his left hand to spread Justin’s cheeks, just admiring his tight, pink pucker for a few moments. Justin clenched his muscles in anticipation which translated directly into Brian’s body pumping even more blood into his dick, making his cock even harder. The brunet moved a little, trying to get more comfortable. The tip of his naked dick came to lay just in the crack of Justin’s spread ass cheeks. Brian stretched his arm to reach the drawer of his bedside table and retrieved a longish package that he put there a couple of days ago and which had been sitting there, waiting for Justin to return for one of his visits ever since. Justin tried to get a look at it, but he only caught a glimpse of something light blue. He shivered in anticipation. Brian’s taste in toys was infallible.

Still keeping Justin’s ass cheeks spread, Brian bent down and licked one long line over Justin’s quivering hole, then straightened up again. He grabbed the lube from the bed nearby Justin’s thigh that he had put there earlier, and squirted a good amount directly on and into Justin’s opening, the coldness of which made Justin buck. He clamped and relaxed his sphincter muscles a few times. The sight of it forced a groan out of Brian. He used his fingers to spread the lube over the pucker and picked up the retrieved object. It was a vibrator that he picked up on his way from work one day. It was on display in one of the X-rated shops on Liberty Avenue and caught his attention because of the iridescent color which was a very light, very cool, translucent blue that reminded him of Justin’s eyes when they went skiing last winter and the surrounding snow made his eyes impossibly bright.

Brian positioned the vibrator’s tip on Justin’s hole and circled it around a little. Justin felt the smooth, cool head of it. He tried to move his hips so the toy would slide inside but Brian’s weight on his lower back made any movement impossible.

“Shh. Patience, Sunshine,” Brian admonished.

The fingers of his left hand stretched Justin’s ass cheeks some more and Brian pushed the tip of the vibrator against the pucker, the very tip of it sliding in, but breaching only the first ring of muscle. Brian knew that Justin hasn’t been stretched properly but he used a fair amount of lube and the vibrator wasn’t too wide in girth.

Brian teased Justin’s muscles by rotating the tip but not sliding any farther. Justin tried to hold still but silently prayed that Brian would move it deeper soon. He focused on and tried to even out his breathing. When Brian got into those moods, the playing would sometimes go on for hours and Brian would not let him come.

Brian let the tip slip out. He lubed up the length of the vibrator and entered his lover with the toy again. He pushed slowly until he felt the tightness of the inner ring muscle and applied more pressure until he felt the muscle give and the toy slide in. Justin sighed contentedly and Brian loved the sound of it. He started to rotate the vibrator, loosening up the opening, occasionally pulling out an inch before pushing slowly back inside.

Justin’s muscles relaxed, as did his whole body, as Justin enjoyed the leisurely pace of Brian’s play. Sporadically a moan or a sigh would escape his lips, a testimony to Brian’s talents.

Brian loved Justin like this, when he would surrender his body completely for Brian’s amusement, trusting him to take care of it. Every tension in the blond’s body was gone and the vibrator was sliding easily in and out now. Brian retrieved the toy, and let it lay abandoned between Justin’s only slightly spread thighs. He used both his hands to spread Justin’s ass again. Brian bent his head and blew gently on the wet opening. Justin’s muscles constricted briefly in response, then relaxed again, accompanied by a gasp from the blond.

Brian was in a trance. He watched as the muscles spasmed rhythmically and couldn’t resist. He inserted his index finger and felt the texture inside Justin’s hole. He revelled in the smoothness. Picking up the blue vibrator again, Brian watched it slide into Justin and gave a short jab with it, not going in too far. Holding the toy still, lodged firmly between the ring muscles, Brian turned on the control nub. The toy’s tip started to vibrate which made Justin’s head shoot up from the pillow. He groaned. Justin hadn’t anticipated that and squeezed his ass muscles in surprise.

Brian wanted him to relax again, so he turned off the vibrator which earned him a groan of protest from Justin. Brian ran his palm soothingly over Justin’s bottom. He murmured quietly, “Open up for me, Sunshine.”

Justin tried to do as he was asked. Took a deep breath and relaxed again. When he felt Brian move the toy deeper, he tensed again, anticipating the vibrations.

“Uh-uh,” Brian admonished. “Relax. Let go.”

He waited for Justin to calm down again, before plunging the toy inside and yanking it out again a couple of times, testing Justin’s responses. When Justin remained relaxed and didn’t try to squeeze his ass at the movements, Brian positioned the toy inside his body again, going slightly deeper than before.

He switched it on again. The first shock of vibrations made Justin retract his muscles around the toy, however, being a good student, he managed to relax them quickly. Brian sensed the effort it took not to tense up at the vibrating sensations. But he wanted Justin open and pliant. That way the vibrations radiating from his ass into his whole body would feel even more intense.

Brian held the toy still inside Justin’s body, letting the vibrations take care of Justin’s pleasure. When he thought, Justin was ready for more, he started to move it in and out of him, increasing the tempo and enjoying the reaction he received from the blond whose body started to shake with pleasure.

Justin’s body was a quivering, uncontrollable mess. Brian jabbed the vibrator deep into his body, yanking it back again in quick succession, Justin’s moans increasing in frequency and volume. He wanted to come so badly, but knew Brian wasn’t nearly finished with him.

He gave a long and loud sigh of relief when Brian pulled the toy out of his body and switched it off. Puffing gasps of air, he couldn’t get his still trembling body under control and resigned to the overwhelming sensations. Before he could fully come down, Brian spread his ass cheeks again, this time squirting lube onto the used hole. The coolness of it, soothed Justin’s reddened bud. But it also gave Justin proof that they weren’t finished yet.

Brian inserted the vibrator again, thrusting a few times to spread the lube. He pushed until he heard Justin keen and knew he hit his prostate. He gave it a few jabs with the toy, making Justin shake even more. He then pressed the head of the vibrator firmly against the sensitive gland and turned the switch to start the vibration.

Justin screamed and threw back his head. He thrashed and bucked to get away from the torturing sensations but the weight of Brian was still making any movement impossible. He tried to lift up but Brian was pressing the vibrating tip of the toy relentlessly against Justin’s prostate. Justin started coming and screamed, “STOP!”

Brian gripped the vibrator tighter, almost coming himself. The power it took not to come on the spot was making his knuckles turn white with the force of his grip on the toy. Brian drew back the still vibrating toy, just to push it back again, pressing down against the prostate, hard. Justin convulsed violently with tremors and almost blacked out as he spilled and soaked the sheets underneath him.

Brian turned the switch. The vibrations stopped and he slowly pulled out the toy, letting it fall off the bed. He moved off of Justin’s back and let himself fall on his back beside Justin. His dick throbbed and was a dark purple from holding back so long.

Brian started to jerk himself while watching Justin’s body come out of the post-orgasmic stupor. The shaking had stopped now, but he still seemed unresponsive and refused to move.

Justin felt his ability to see restore slowly though bright spots continued to appear in his peripheral vision. He wasn’t sure if the fact that things were very quiet around him was due to his senses not being back to their full capacity yet or if the world had stopped turning for a minute. After a time he became dimly aware of a movement to his right. He opened his eyes and turned his head to make out the source of it. Brian was lying beside him, spread on his back, working his steel hard shaft. He briefly considered lowering himself onto Brian’s cock but shuddered at the thought since he was way too sensitive to allow something near his ass right now.

He scampered closer to reach over and push Brian’s hand away, taking the leaking and straining cock and working his fist up and down the length. He let his gaze wander to Brian’s hands and watched as Brian gripped the sheets.

With his free arm, Justin brought Brian’s hand up to his mouth and kissed his palm, then licked a line across to his index finger. He took the digit into his mouth and sucked on it, like he would Brian’s cock. He ran his tongue up and down and around the tip, increasing the suction as well as the movements of his hand on Brian’s hard pole. He bit down on the finger pad at the same time as he squeezed Brian’s cock head. Brian growled and shot his load in several long spurts that landed on his chest, belly and thighs. Justin let go of his spent member and let Brian’s finger pop out of his mouth, kissing the palm one last time before falling asleep.

 

>>><<<

   
They ordered pizza when they woke up a few hours later. When Justin would come home for one of his visits, his first day back they would always order pizza. They sat in the kitchen, around the kitchen counter, eating pizza and drinking beer.

“How’s Daphne?” Brian asked. Justin had gone to visit his childhood friend right after he landed. She’d had a baby only 4 months before and Justin hadn’t yet been to see it.

“She’s great. I never pictured her to be a mother, you know. But she seems happy. Really happy. Greg adores her. Her and the baby.” Gregory was Daphne’s non-husband, as she refused to marry him, for reasons only known to her. “I think he’s even more in love with her now than before. Who ever thought it was possible?”

“And the baby?” Brian prompted, not really wanting to talk about it, but knowing that Justin was bursting to gush about his godson.

“Oh, god, Brian, you should see him. He’s so tiny, I don’t remember Gus being this small. And he’s cute, too. Daph told me, he smiles a lot. And he does. She says it’s cool because it reminds her of me." Justin beamed his toothy smile and Brian tensed involuntarily.

He knew exactly where this was going, even though Sunshine himself may not have realized it yet. Justin was spending more and more time at Britin instead of in New York. He talked about family. About settling down. Soon he’d want to have a child of his own. Brian was certain of that. He wasn’t sure what his opinion on that issue was though.

Three weeks later Justin was gone to organize a gallery show in Chicago. While he was gone, Brian had a lunch with Jennifer. After Justin had left for New York, they both found that meeting for lunch every other week took the edge off of things. And even though Justin was now a frequent visitor in his hometown, they kept their standing appointment.

Brian called to let Jennifer know he would be picking her up at her place since he had a client meeting in their neighbourhood just before lunch. He stood in the living room admiring Jennifer’s decorating skills while he waited for her to get ready. He moved around the room and scanned the framed pictures on the shelf.

Molly and Justin, both had red-smeared faces and a bowl of strawberries between them. Justin kissing baby Molly’s cheek as she slept in her mother’s arm. Justin in his school uniform. First day of school, Brian guessed. Another, more recent, picture of Justin in his paint-spattered t-shirt grinning up to him, standing in front of his paintings. Brian recognized the surroundings. His first New York apartment. The picture was taken while Justin tried to decide which paintings should go in his first New York show. He looked so happy and proud. Brian couldn’t pull his eyes away from it and didn’t hear Jennifer entering the room.

She came to stand beside him, looking over his shoulder at the picture frame he was holding.

“He’s quite something.” Jennifer whispered with awe in her voice that only parents could muster.

“He’s something else.” Brian agreed.

“Makes you wonder what else he’s capable of, doesn’t it?” She asked quietly.

And he knew. Suddenly he knew. The child Justin was not yet aware of he was craving – Brian wanted to meet it. Wanted it so desperately, it made his chest ache.

He put the picture back on the shelf and turned to Jennifer. She saw the whirlwind of emotions displayed on his face, but knew better than to ask. She accepted his compliment on her outfit and walked out of the house when he held the door open for her.

>>><<<

   
Justin had moved back home for good less than eight months after that. It wasn’t too big a change since he had been practically living at Britin on and off for the last twelve months. Still, Brian attributed his general restlessness to the change of scene and the upcoming Christmas holidays.

It wasn’t until the morning after they picked up Gus from the airport that he noticed what really was bothering the blond. Brian was joking with Gus at the breakfast table when he suddenly noticed Justin had become really quiet. Brian looked up and caught Justin watching his and Gus’ banter with a wistful smile on his face. When Justin noticed Brian was watching him, he composed himself and put on a bright smile, offering Gus a variety of adventures for the day.

They turned in early that night. A combination of Gus engaging both of them in his games until they both felt exhausted and the fact that, since tomorrow was Christmas morning, Gus would certainly not want to sleep in.

They had traded mostly quiet blow jobs in the shower after putting Gus to sleep and were enjoying the quiet of their bedroom, Justin watching the moon outside.

Brian waited for Justin to say something, but it became apparent after a while that the blond would not start talking on his own. Realizing he was entering almost completely foreign terrain, Brian initiated a conversation.

“You want to tell me what’s been bothering you lately?”

Justin jerked in surprise and turned to meet Brian’s gaze. “I’m fine, Brian. There’s nothing bothering me.”

“Liar.”

“Really, Brian. I’m happy to be back.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t. You’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Maybe you want to tell me so I can help.”

“I don’t know if you can.”

“Tell me and we’ll find out.” Brian prodded.

Justin took a steadying breath. There was no sense in putting it off any longer. “Okay. But you have to promise me something first.” Brian raised an eyebrow, so Justin continued. “When you’re going to queen out, please remember that Gus is sleeping next door and that nothing is set in stone yet and that I love you. Okay?”

Brian rolled his eyes, then said, “Okay. I promise.”

“Good. I don’t know how to ease into this, so I’m just going to blurt it out, okay? Okay. I think I want what you have – I want a child.” He opened his mouth to say more, but then closed it again, looking at Brian hesitantly.

“What I have is a kid that I have no legal rights to. You don’t want that, do you?”

Justin shook his head no. “I want the kid to be mine. Ours, if you want. I don’t want to be a drop-in dad. I want the whole full time thing.”

Brian nodded his head, deep in thought, as Justin watched on in silence, afraid to say anything more.

“Then we need to figure out the logistics. Check out our options.”

Justin couldn’t help but feel a little like he had been pulled into a Twilight Zone episode. “You’re not queening out?” He asked suspiciously.

“I never queen out.” Brian sneered.

“Year, right.” Justin muttered under his breath. “Seriously, Brian, you’re okay with it? You don’t want to sleep it over? We can discuss it tomorrow, you know.”

“I’ve been sleeping it over for too long. It’s time you caught up with the show.”

“What do you mean, you’ve been sleeping it over for too long? I’ve only been thinking about it for the last month.”

Brian smiled at that.

“You’ve known where I was headed all along.” Justin reasoned.

“Only the last six months or so.” Brian admitted.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Then Justin crawled into Brian’s lap and wound the taller man’s arms around himself.

“Are you sure about this?” He quietly asked the brunet.

“Sure as in ‘Do I know what I’m doing’? Hell, no. But we’ll figure it out. Together. I have one condition though.”

Justin tipped his head up and looked questioningly at Brian.

“She has to be blond.” Whoa. Where did that come from? Brian had never even thought about that before. But the radiant smile on Justin’s face kept him from a deeper examination of the inner workings of his psyche.

“That’s two.” Justin pointed out.

“Huh?”

“You said you had one condition. That’s two.”

“Smartass.”

“You want me to show you my SAT scores?” Justin grinned.

Brian pulled his arms tighter around the young man and held him until Justin fell asleep. He had no fucking idea how to get where they were headed. No strategies, no master plans. He wasn’t too concerned though. As one smart woman had once told him – what Justin wants, Justin gets. It was one of those laws of nature, Brian was now beginning to realize.


	12. Chapter 12

Present, October 2010

Justin watched, a camera poised in his hands, as Alex fed Emma another cookie bit with one hand, while holding the small container that held the last bits of their afternoon snack in the other. They’d been doing it for quite a while now. Emma sitting on the blanket that Justin had spread on the floor, Alex before her, sitting on a small kiddie chair. They both delighted in the play, Emma laughing every time her sister put another cookie in her mouth before chewing it. Justin had been watching in adoration for a few minutes before he had the presence of mind to get the camera and capture the moment on film.

Justin decided to not let the day go to waste and enjoy the last warm sunny afternoon on the balcony overlooking the pool and stables. It had been raining earlier that morning, so the grass was too damp to let the twins loose in the garden. The balcony was a perfect alternative. Since it faced away from the driveway Justin didn’t notice Brian coming home early.

He smiled wide when Brian joined them, already dressed in jeans and a light long-sleeved shirt whose sleeves he had rolled up.

“You’re home early,” Justin said after tilting up his head to receive a kiss from Brian.

“You complaining?” Brian asked teasingly and went to sit down beside Alex on the floor, picking up Emma and pulling her into his lap. He watched as Alex fed Emma another cookie, then looked up and met Justin’s eyes, smiling. The twins’ interaction was just too cute.

“They’ve been doing it for a good half hour.” Justin supplied.

“Did Alex eat anything?” Brian asked. Alex had always been a poor eater. It wasn’t that she was picky, it was just that you couldn’t get her to eat more than a few spoonful’s at a time. The pediatrician told them she was healthy, though, and she still outgrew Emma by almost four inches. Still, Brian and Justin were always concerned she was not eating enough.

“No. I made some baby cereal after they had their nap but she didn’t want any, hence the oat cookies. But she has been feeding them to Emma mostly.”

Brian picked up one of the cookies from Alex’s container and put it into his mouth, making sure Alex saw him do it. Then he picked up another and held it before her lips. She opened her mouth and took it. Brian smiled and patted her head, muttering softly, “Good girl.”

He fed her a few more before Emma started to fidget and climbed off of Brian’s lap. Alex immediately took the vacationed spot while Emma pulled herself upright on the chair and tried to walk a few steps on her own. They were now almost 14 months old, but Emma started her first attempts at walking only a short while back. Alex didn’t yet feel the need to take a step on her own. Justin remembered Gus walking a lot earlier. They’ve been told however, that twins’ motor functions could sometimes need more time to develop.

Justin watched, ready to jump up in case Emma would fall and hurt herself, but Brian took care of that and followed Emma with an extended arm in front of her, so she could grab it whenever necessary. She was very wobbly on her feet but managed to circuit around Brian. Justin clapped his hands, something that the twins were taught to understand as an appreciative sign of achievement.

“Good job, Emma.” Justin praised. Encouraged by the praise, Emma did another circle around Brian and then even walked the distance towards Justin who extended his arms to catch her. He picked her up and smacked her cheek. “You did great, baby.”

Emma obviously delighted in the compliments and walked a couple more times back and forth between Brian and Justin.

“Great job, princess,” Brian chimed in when she even managed to turn without help before walking the distance another time.

Alex watched Brian and Justin praise Emma and apparently decided she wanted to have a share in all the complimenting. She pulled herself upright using Brian’s arms as a prop. She had a very overcautious nature, and would always clutch tightly to the support whenever put on her feet, afraid to let go and risk a fall. Brian knew she was craving some praise for herself as well, so he held her by her sides, and spoke calmly, “Just try. You can do it, ok?” He slowly let go, testing if Alex would allow her legs to keep her upright. Justin held his breath. When she didn’t waver, Brian smiled wide and told her, “See? You’re standing all on your own.” She laughed in response to his smile and almost plopped down on her butt but Brian caught her on time.

“Wanna give it another try?” he asked. He held her again until he was sure she was holding up her own weight, then let go. “Good job, sweetheart,” Brian leaned in and quietly told her, and she beamed.

Brian flung his head around when he heard the click of the camera and saw Justin putting down the device and smiling at him.

 

>>><<<

 

“You got something planned for this evening?” Justin asked Brian some time later. It had gotten too fresh outside, so they retreated into the living room where the girls were currently entertained by Justin’s skills in building towers with building blocks for the girls to smash them down. 

Brian was leafing through several magazines, checking out his competition and commenting on an ad occasionally. “Not yet. You need to be somewhere?”

“Yes. Arianna invited us both to dinner. I told her I wasn’t sure when you’d be getting back from work so I said there was a good chance I’d be coming alone. But since you’re home early, I’d like you to come, too. She said she’d be bringing her boyfriend, too.”

“Okay. Sure. Is this going to be a business meal?” Brian wanted to know.

“I don’t think so. She said we should get to know each other better before I decide on anything.”

“Sounds reasonable.” Brian agreed.

“Yes, it does. But I think I already like her.”

“And that’s a problem?”

“It could be if I decide to decline her offer.”

“But you haven’t made a decision yet?”

“No. I talked to Peyton again today.” Justin admitted. Brian guessed from Justin’s tone that he and his agent had had an argument again. It wouldn’t be the first one in the last couple of months. “I’m so frustrated that he’s unwilling to trust my guts on this one. I think the smaller paintings are good, Brian. I think they’re really good.” Justin added quietly, a sad tone in his voice.

Justin didn’t need to convince him. Brian had seen the works and they were brilliant. What saddened Brian most was that he feared Justin was starting to doubt himself. He was always so cocky when it came to his art and his talent. He would often throw out a self-confident ‘I know’ when someone complimented him on how genius his work was. So fucking in control and aware of his talent’s worth. It was killing Brian that Justin thought he had to justify himself for wanting his smaller canvasses shown too.

“You’re afraid that you only said yes to Arianna’s dinner invitation because you were angry with Peyton?” Brian deduced.

“I’m afraid that I’ll decide to jump ships just because I like her and am angry at Peyton.”

“Don’t worry. Let her explain her ideas, plans. Let’s wait and see what she says about your work and then we can talk about it. If you want, we can go and talk to Peyton, too. I know you’re anxious to get the whole problem over with but you won’t get it resolved tonight. Try to let it go and enjoy the evening?”

“Ok.” Justin sighed.

“Where are we meeting her?”

“Le Mirage. I already called Trish and asked her to stay with the kids.”

“Okay. Let’s get them bathed and bed-ready then.” Brian said, put down the magazine he was still holding and walked over to pick up Alex.

 

>>><<<

   
„You had a nightmare.“ Justin suddenly exclaimed while getting dressed. “The other night. I woke up because you had a nightmare.”

Trish had arrived at their house twenty minutes ago and took over the girls, so Brian and Justin had enough time to get dressed.

“The other night? Justin, I haven’t had a nightmare in a while.”

“Well, maybe not the other night, but like a couple of weeks ago? You had a nightmare then. I remember now. It was after that almost fight we had at Babylon.”

“Your response time is way off, Sunshine.”

“But you did have a nightmare.” Justin insisted when Brian didn’t deny it. “What was it about?”

“I don’t remember.”

“You’re lying. Why won’t you tell me? Did I leave again?” Justin pressed. He knew that Brian sometimes dreamt of Justin leaving him. Brian had told him once when Justin was still in New York and Brian had called him, completely drunk. He had admitted then that ever since Justin went to New York Brian had started to dream about him leaving. Justin assumed the dreams would stop once he was back for good. But the dreams continued, though on very rare occasions only. After a while Justin had figured out a pattern – the dreams would only re-emerge after they had a fight. It seemed Brian’s subconscious still expected him to walk out each time things got a little complicated. At first, Justin had been concerned, thinking Brian didn’t trust him to stay this time, but as the time passed, Justin decided the best way to deal with the issue was not giving it much thought at all seeing as the idea of him ever leaving again was totally ridiculous. Sooner or later Brian’s subconscious would catch on, too.

“You know, you’re not going to get rid of me, don’t you?” Justin remarked matter-of-factly, pulling a sweater over his head and not looking up from the mirror he was inspecting the result in. “You’re stuck with me.” Deciding he looked presentable enough, he turned away from the dressing room. When he walked past Brian, he stopped to whisper in his ear, “But you could marry me and make it official.”

Justin intended to brush by Brian but the brunet held him back, grabbing his arm. “Gay marriage is not legal in West Virginia.”

“I wouldn’t be doing it for the state, Brian. It would be for us. I don’t care what the law says. And neither do you.”

“You really want to get married?” Brian asked seriously. Ever since Justin had come back from New York, they had been so busy with other things and so anxious not to jinx anything that the whole idea of marriage had never been brought up again.

“I already said yes once, didn’t I?” Justin reminded him.

“Yes. And I remember having to bribe you with a mansion to get you to agree to it.” Brian countered with a teasing smirk. “No family. Just you and me.” Brian said after a longer pause, trying to hide a smile.

He watched as the brightest of sunshine smiles lit up Justin’s face. “Rings and vows?” The blond asked.

“We already have the rings.” Brian reminded him.

“Do I get a honeymoon, too?” The blond grinned.

“You pick a family friendly destination and give Cynthia the details to arrange the trip.” Brian recognized his defeat.

“I knew I loved you for a reason.” Justin said, his mind reeling at the possibilities.

“Because I give into your every whim?”

“No, because of your money.” Justin answered with a mock Duh-look on his face.

Brian laughed. Making Justin happy seemed so easy now. He couldn’t remember why he had resisted it for so long after they met.

 

>>><<<

 

  
“I hate French food,” Brian muttered when they walked into the restaurant. Justin had his arm slung around Brian’s waist and pinched him impishly. 

“Play nice and I promise you another meal when we’re done here.” Justin suggested with sparkling eyes.

Brian reached for the blond and kissed him, keeping his eyes open to watch as Justin surrendered completely into the kiss.

“Do you see them?” Brian asked Justin, looking around the softly lit and beautifully decorated place once they pulled apart.

Justin scanned the room and recognized the flaming red locks, then his gaze fell on her companion, and he muttered a soft, “Fuck.”

“What is it?” Brian looked in the direction Justin was staring, then back to the blond.

“The guy Arianna is with? I know him. His name’s Philippe.”

“You _know_ him?” Brian pulled up his brow suggestively.

“We fucked a couple of times when I was in New York.”

“But he’s with her. _Her_ as in girl parts?” Brian frowned.

Justin pressed a soft kiss to Brian’s lips and shrugged. “He’s French.” As if it was all the explanation Brian needed. Brian smirked and followed Justin to the table.


	13. Chapter 13

Present, October 2010

**Philippe Corentin’s POV**

I wasn’t sure what I had expected. He told me once he had a life to get back to. I thought he meant family, mom, dad, a home, a job maybe. The usual. Somehow I never thought of that special some _one_. Maybe because of his age. Maybe because it didn’t fit with his ‘one fuck only’ policy. I prided myself on having gotten two repeats. Thinking back on it now, I guess I should have realized he was detached because he was already taken. Or was he? I wasn’t sure. The jury was still out on that one. After last night I have difficulties connecting the image I got from Brian Kinney’s character to the Justin Taylor _I_ had known.

After my excursion into the gay nightlife of Pittsburgh, as kindly requested by my better half due to her failed attempts to retrieve any personal information about one Brian Kinney, I was left wondering how the fuck Justin ended up with someone like _him_. Before last night, Brian Kinney was just a name to me. Now, the day after, I thought I had a pretty distinct idea of his character. What I didn’t get was how those two ever found a common ground.

The general consensus when it comes to Brian Kinney is, according to gay PA, that he is a heartless bastard who excels at his job and because of his success believes everyone else to be beneath him. Apparently he was graced with somewhat decent looks (which I had yet to judge for myself) and took full advantage of it by fucking every guy he deemed worth his time. Rumor had it he was yet to meet someone he couldn’t have. Why Kinney would be attracted to Justin was completely understandable, given the blond artist’s brains and looks; but why Justin would ever be interested in someone as shallow as this man supposedly was, remained a perfect mystery to me.

Given that the pretty boy is not only pretty on the outside, I seriously started to doubt the earnestness of their relationship. This was one topic that I couldn’t gather any trustworthy information about from the inebriated gossip gays. No one was willing to give me an answer as to how long the two of them had been together. Or even if they were committed to each other. They were very quick however to informing me about the bet that currently held Pittsburgh’s gays in a state of suspense. I wasn’t sure though that it wasn’t a hoax. It was maddening not to have all the facts. Was Brian Kinney the one Justin had once stated he needed to return home to? I honestly didn’t know. And what if he was? What did it say about their relationship? Were they just fuck buddies? It didn’t sound like the kind of relationship Justin would agree to; but what if he did? I’d hate to think that he’d compromise his principles for someone as immoral as Brian Kinney. And for what exactly? A good fuck? Honestly – how great could he be?

I was frustrated to no end with what my little investigation had brought up. Or rather that, instead of answering a few questions, it had brought up a hundred more. Although Arianna seemed pleased with what I could tell her. I confided my doubts about the seriousness of their relationship in her, suggesting that maybe they were only fuck buddies. But she disregarded my assumption with a simple “You don’t bring your fuck buddy to a company function. They’re the real deal, hon.”

I sat across Arianna facing the entrance of the restaurant and nervously awaited our guests. Curiosity was killing me. I saw them enter even before they were through the door completely. Justin looked as beautiful as ever, even more so from what I could see from this distance. I hadn’t seen him in almost three years, not counting photographs in magazine articles, and he looked different somehow. More mature, I thought. But then I corrected myself. No, that was not it. Although I couldn’t put my finger on it. Yet.

Justin’s attention was taken by his companion and I finally graced him with a look. Justin had his arm around the man’s waist who was considerably taller than the blond. His eyes twinkled as he looked up into the ones of his companion. I followed their gaze. Tall, dark hair, expensive clothes that accentuated his well-toned body in the most enticing way, and a gorgeous face, that… fuck… took my breath away. So, this was Brian Kinney. He threw an arm around Justin’s shoulders and pulled his face in by a hand in his nape, kissing the artist. I noticed that he kept his eyes open and watched Justin’s face while pressing his lips onto his lover’s.

When they pulled apart, Justin scanned the restaurant and his eyes caught mine, widening only slightly in surprise. He turned to look at his companion. They exchanged a few words, then Justin pulled up on his toes and smacked the taller man’s lips before shrugging his shoulders and walking towards our table, Brian in tow. The brunet was smirking and I wondered what Justin had told him that charmed this amused grin on his face. I wondered if it had to do with me.

Brian moved with the elegance of a dangerous predator on prey. God, he was breathtaking in the truest sense of the word. Between the two of them I couldn’t decide who was more beautiful. I felt myself harden as I watched them and grew angry with myself because of the instant reaction to this man’s presence.

”Justin, Brian, so happy you could both make it. I hope you don’t mind that we already took a table.” Arianna greeted them, smiling up to both men in honest delight. “This is Philippe Corentin. Justin, I think you two met?” She said, introducing me.

“Quite intense meeting, I hear.” Brian grinned. Justin hit him in the stomach with the back of his hand while smiling innocently at Arianna to distract from the physical attack. So Justin _did_ tell him.

“Arianna. Thank you for the invitation. Phil, nice to see you again. How have you been?” Justin reached to shake my hand, always the polite WASP. While the pleasantries were being exchanged Brian let his gaze wander up and down my presence. I was tall, though not as tall as Brian, and lean, muscular. I noticed the way he was taking in the dark ebony tone of my skin which contrasted with my light greenish eyes.

He smirked when his inspection was over and I got the distinct feeling that he knew exactly how enamored I was with Justin and how very turned on I was by the enigma that was Brian Kinney. He was fucking amused by it. So I gave him the once-over too. Brian did look stunning in the dark brown slacks and camel cashmere sweater. His ensemble was completed by a freshly fucked look and my face grew hot thinking about all the things the nightlife gays so visually described to me the night before; things to do with Brian’s anatomy and abilities.

After the pleasantries had been exchanged, and Brian and Justin took their seats, Brian started on the small talk. He complimented Arianna on her outfit. She truly _was_ a sight to behold, clad in a nude-colored satin dress draped with black lace. She had her hair pulled up into a loose knot, several locks hanging loosely around her delicate face, long pearly earrings her only jewelry.

“So, Philippe, how do you know Justin?” Brian asked, pretending to be curious about the type of our relation. I flushed slightly. I knew he was trying to embarrass me in front of Arianna and even though his behavior bordered on rudeness I couldn’t help but recognize that it was a means to stake the claim he had on Justin. Though there had been some repeats in the past, Brian wanted me to have absolutely no doubt that Justin was completely off-limits from now on.

I cleared my throat, then answered, “We met at one of Justin’s showings. Alistair Rodney Gallery, if I remember correctly?” The last part was directed as a question to Justin.

Justin nodded.

“So, you’re a collector?” Brian asked innocently again, draping his arm across Justin’s shoulder and playing with the small hairs on the nape of his neck. I noticed how this action made a shiver run up Justin’s spine, because he took Brian’s hand in his own and let it rest on his shoulder, keeping it covered by his smaller one.

Justin turned his head in Brian’s direction to answer the question that was directed at me. “Phil is an art critic, Brian. His preferred areas of expertise are abstract contemporary artists.”

“Justin fit perfectly in your prey pattern then, right?” Brian smiled sweetly. Justin scowled at him, but his eyes twinkled so Brian knew not to worry. I found their interaction fascinating. Justin was so completely at ease with Brian. Not in the least awed by his reputation.

Arianna had watched the conversation with an amused smirk on her lips, the double meaning never lost on her. I felt a surge of pride knowing Brian would have a hard time trying to shock her. She knew every last bit of detail there was to know about me. I would never keep a secret from her. And I’ve loved her from the moment I met her. Who wouldn’t?

Love at first sight – could there be a concept more cheesy? But honestly, she’s gorgeous, smart, funny. She’s talented, she loves to laugh, and she’s refreshingly uncomplicated. I would have married her a long time ago but she was the one who wanted to keep things casual, occasionally encouraging me to spend time in gay clubs because she knew I liked both, men and women.

“I wish I’d been there to witness the fucking.” Arianna interrupted my thoughts. ”It was probably pretty hot, wouldn’t you agree, Brian? I mean, Justin all blond and pale skin and Phil the perfect contrast. They’d probably be a kick start for any sleeping muse. Don’t you think?” Arianna asked Brian, who could only stare back, momentarily lost in the surprise. Arianna took advantage of his speechlessness and addressed Justin, smiling mischievously. “If you’re willing to ignore the fact that my man has the hots for you and I have the hots for yours, then we can still all be friends.”

Justin laughed at that. “I don’t mind people looking at Brian. It’s not like they’re going to be doing anything more than that.”

Arianna and I shared a quick glance. So the rumor was true. Brian really _did_ stop tricking. I couldn’t wrap my head around the picture I had of him from the many stories that were still fresh on my mind and the man that sat across from me. I watched passively as Arianna pulled a disappointed face in jest. “Ugh, now you’re just trying to make me jealous.”

Brian finally found the power of speech again and toasted Arianna. “You’re my kind of woman, lady.”

 

>>><<<

 

  
“Philippe went to a dance club the other night, didn’t you, hon?” Arianna changed the topic. “He gathered more information about you, Brian, in one evening than I could in a week’s worth of research.” 

“I’d say it depends on what kind of information you’re interested in.” Brian agreed.

Arianna sipped on her white wine before taking a lungful of air and starting to recount every bit of information she was able to amass. “I found numerous sources telling me all about Kinnetik – about Kinnetik’s clients list looking more and more like an exclusive club for the Top 50 companies in the US every year. I know that Kinnetik put Vangard out of business only three years after its opening.”

I saw Brian smirk a self-satisfied grin at that. Arianna continued unperturbed.

“I know how many awards you’ve won, I have a pretty decent idea of how much profit your company generates, and that, even though your employees seem to have a healthy amount of fear when it comes to their boss’s temper, your employee fluctuation is almost non-existent. Now, when it comes to personal information the only things one could gather would all be based on assumptions. Like for example, had I not know you’re gay, I probably would have been able to deduce it by looking at the receivers of the impressive donations Kinnetik makes annually. Your beneficiary aids amounted to a six digit sum in the upper quarter category last year, almost exclusively contributions to support gay rights, HIV research, homeless and AIDS centers.” Arianna concluded.

Justin looked at Brian wide-eyed. “You didn’t tell me.”

Brian shrugged. “Ted handles the numbers, Sunshine. I only sign the checks.”

‘Sunshine’. Hmm, it fit. Judging by Justin’s expression he didn’t believe for one second that any decision would be made without Brian’s input or consent. But Justin accepted Brian’s explanation. Probably because he knew Brian was uncomfortable with compliments concerning his generosity. This much I could guess from just watching him.

“And these were not the kind of information you were looking for, I presume?” Brian returned to the former point of discussion.

“I hoped to find something that would tell me about the way you think. What makes you tick.” Arianna replied honestly.

“Good luck with that.” Justin huffed under his breath, earning himself a light slap on his arm from Brian.

“And what was it that the gays of Pittsburgh gossiped to you about?” Brian asked me, truly curious.

“I went to a club, Babylon, I think?” I began, but stopped when I noticed the amused smirks on both, Justin’s and Brian’s faces. “What?” I asked irritated.

“That’s Brian’s club.” Justin supplied, not able to suppress a grin. “He owns it.”

“Of course he does,” I muttered defeated under my breath, before continuing. “Apparently you keep the gays of Pittsburgh quite on their toes. There’s extricate planning involved in the Big Bet. As well as a notable amount of money for the winner.”

“Big Bet?” Justin interrupted.

“You didn’t know?” I asked in surprise. “Rumor has it the Great Brian Kinney cannot be tamed. So the fact that you’ve been seen fucking a blond twink exclusively for the last couple of years incites every gay in the Pitts to bet money on how long it will be till you finally give in to your carnal needs and return to reclaim the throne that hasn’t been filled yet. Whoever manages to seduce the King of Liberty Avenue and bring back the Legend will pocket a jackpot that, I’ve been told, ranks in the thousands by now.”

Brian turned to Justin, pointed a finger at himself and mouthed the word ‘Legend’, slowly nodding his head agreeably and grinning all the while. Justin rolled his eyes and whispered, “Conceited.” But leaned over and pressed a kiss to Brian’s lips.

Brian turned to look at Arianna. “And you found this information helpful how?”

She squinted a little, probably not sure if she should answer his question. But, after watching him with Justin, she apparently decided that Brian could take the truth. “You won’t like it, I’m afraid.”

Brian gestured for her to continue nevertheless. She did.

“As I already told you at the Kinnetik party, I want to be Justin’s manager. I think his work is genius. But I don’t have to tell you. You know that already.”

Brian nodded in agreement. He was with her so far. This was something we could all easily agree on.

“I also think that Justin’s appeal lies to a large part in his diversity. He’s always been ahead of the wave. And I’d like to help him keep it that way. Now, I’ve noticed the last years have been mostly about large-scale work in the art world, and I think it’s time for a change. I think the art world is waiting for someone to pave the way for something different. I want Justin to be the one. I’ve read that he’s been experimenting with computer graphics a while back?” She glanced at Justin, then back at Brian and continued. “To come to my point, I didn’t know if or how much influence you had on his decision. I needed to know in case I needed you to help me persuade him to try my ideas. But I realized, I don’t. Need you, that is.” She smiled brightly, taking the edge off her last statement.

“And you figured that out because…?” Brian seemed lost.

“Because the Great Brian Kinney could have anyone he’d like, and he chooses to be with _him_.” She turned her gaze on Justin at that and stared for a few moments. Turning to look into Brian’s eyes, she said, “ _He_ was the one that went after _you_ , wasn’t he? And if that’s the case, and I assume that it is, then he knows exactly what he wants. And neither you nor me could ever convince him otherwise.”

Silence fell around the table after Arianna finished her speech.

Justin looked as if he feared Brian could have been insulted by what Arianna said. I guessed Brian wasn’t too comfortable with people who managed to look beyond his façade, but Brian still seemed relaxed. Content, even. Justin lifted Brian’s hand that was still draped around his shoulder and pressed it to his lips softly, twining his fingers with Brian’s. It seemed to pull Brian from his reverie. He and Justin shared a look, before Brian replied, “Yeah, he’s a stubborn little shit. But he’s great in bed and sometimes gives me pretty pictures so I let him stick around.”

 

>>><<<

 

  
The conversation centered around Arianna’s career choice after our dinner arrived. She told our guests about her time at the NY Institute of Fine Arts and the contacts she was able to make there. When Brian inquired why she didn’t pursue a career as an artist, she told him that even though she was blessed with a certain amount of talent, she lacked the enthusiasm to create. She honestly admitted that the reason for leaving New York and coming to Pittsburgh was almost exclusively Justin at which the blond’s jaw slacked in disbelief. Eventually the conversation took another turn and Arianna asked Justin to meet her in the city sometime next week to discuss her ideas. 

Finally agreeing on a compromise, Justin spoke. “I tell you what, why don’t you come to our house? We can talk there.”

Arianna beamed. “Alright.”

“I have to warn you though.” Justin added. “We’ll have company.”

“Company?”

“We have two little girls.” Justin smiled proudly.

“You’re a father?” Arianna asked. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s not public knowledge.” Brian inserted. “We figured with Justin’s rising popularity this was something better kept among the family.” It was meant as an explanation as well as a warning to better keep it that way.

“A wise decision.” Arianna agreed.

I couldn’t stop myself from gawking openly at Justin. Justin – a father! And what was it that he said? ‘ _We_ have two girls’. They were not only in a relationship, but a family! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and followed the next bit of conversation in a trance-like state.

“How old are they?” Arianna asked.

“They had their first birthday almost two months ago.” Justin supplied.

“Twins?” I finally found the power of speech.

“Yes. Fraternal twins.”

“If you don’t stop now, he’ll start gushing and you won’t be able to shut him up the next couple of hours.” Brian warned.

Justin stuck his tongue out at Brian. I was mesmerized and couldn’t stop watching their interaction. The way Brian would tangle his fingers in Justin’s hair, run them through the short hairs on the nape of Justin’s neck, and Justin would respond by sending him a blinding smile. Or Justin would lay his hand on Brian’s forearm, just above his wrist and squeeze lightly. From time to time Brian’s hand disappeared under the table and would most probably come to rest on Justin’s thigh. A few minutes after that Justin would undoubtedly move his chair closer to Brian’s. They probably didn’t even realize they were doing it. Brian would cut his food and eat most of it but leave a few bites and Justin would reach over with his fork and pick them from Brian’s plate. It was a routine they were undoubtedly so used to they didn’t even spend a conscious thought on it.

“Brian has a son. He’s ten.” Justin was telling us when I zoned back in on the conversation.

“He doesn’t live with you?” I asked.

Brian shook his head. “No. Gus has two mommies who believe that Canadians have that extra ounce of brains to know that you can’t beat the gay out of a person.”

Against my own intentions I actually started to… ‘like’ is such a strong word, maybe not _like_ but… _respect_ Brian as a person. He had that uncanny ability to say so much with so few words. A remark, dismissively spoken, meant to deflect any emotion through sarcasm but at the same time revealing unresolved issues, swelling anger, and a deep-seated pain that most likely had grown massive roots by now. For someone who cared to listen, Brian probably had one hell of a story to tell. I began to understand Justin and his devotion to this man.

“Gus?” Arianna asked to keep the conversation afloat. “What a refreshingly normal name.” She commented. She meant it. Arianna had no patience for all the Apples, Peaches, Irelands, and Bostons of the world.

“I think there was a critique to your lack of originality hidden somewhere between the lines there, Sunshine.” Brian remarked.

 _Justin’s_ lack of originality? I didn’t understand.

“ _Your_ \--?” Arianna prompted. Obviously, neither did she.

“I named him. The night he was born.” Justin replied off-handedly. “It was either that or Abraham. There wasn’t much of a choice.” He tried to defend himself. Brian smiled and moved his hand under the table up and down Justin’s thigh, probably to soothe him.

Suddenly something inside me clicked. “Didn’t you say he was ten?” I asked Justin.

“He is.” Brian confirmed.

“When did you two meet?”

“Pretty much around the same time his mother struggled to make me a daddy, I’d say?” He raised an eyebrow, looking at Justin who grinned wide in response.

“You met when Justin was seventeen?” Arianna asked, her jaw hanging open.

“He was the best piece of ass that had come my way for a very long time. The blue, and the blond, and the brains were all just accessories.”

“I was seventeen and I needed to know what the sex talk was all about. I just wanted a look around. I didn’t plan to lose my virginity that night. I didn’t plan to meet my—“ Justin broke. He looked wistfully at Brian, lost in memories. “He was just so fucking beautiful. I couldn’t _not_ go with him.”

I suddenly realized something. I looked at Justin again as he was continuing the conversation, and I suddenly saw him in a new light. They’d built this life _together_. And he was happy. He was still the Justin I knew; but now he was part of someone else’s life, inextricably connected to another person. It was as though they needed to physically renew this connection every couple of minutes. Because throughout the whole evening they’d been touching each other, fingers stroking a palm, a hand across a thigh, an arm, a shoulder, nuzzling a cheek, kissing the jaw, lips connecting, caressing. They were like magnets, pulled towards each other by the gravitational force of the world. Every touch a fulfillment of a prophecy. I briefly wondered if Arianna and I ever inspired similar thoughts in people who were watching us. She was my world. But with Brian and Justin it seemed like everyone else ceased to exist when they were close. Against my will I felt a pang of envy, and another epiphany.

Justin was destined to be envied. Envied for the love everybody dreams of. One that burns and consumes, that shines and sparkles. One that does not come easy but is hard work, but one that you’re willing to work for because you don’t doubt for a second that it’ll be worth it. Because this love and this person is the reason you’re here. He was destined to be envied because he found it at the age of seventeen. Because he was able to recognize it then for what it was. He was destined to be loved, and adored, and envied for it. It was a sobering thought.

“That was some night, I’m sure.” Arianna said.

“It was.” Brian replied, clearly meaning different things.

“Brian!” Justin reprimanded but he laughed.

We all had a laugh at that. Justin excused himself to go to the bathroom then and Brian stated he needed to call the babysitter. I leaned over to kiss Arianna and nuzzled her neck. She smelled like lilacs. It was intoxicating.

“They’re fucking in the bathroom right now.” She stated suddenly.

“What?” I exclaimed. “No, they’re not. They wouldn’t. This is a prestigious establishment.”

“Yes, they are.” She replied calmly. “I bet you a foot massage that they’re going at it right this second.”

“You’re on.” I told her.

“You’re gonna go check or shall I?” She laughed.

The soft sounds of pleasure moans and whispers coming from one of the stalls in the far back confirmed Arianna’s suspicions. I was ready to leave the bathroom and return to the table, admitting my defeat when I decided to risk a look.

I could see a sliver of what was going on inside reflected in the mirror across the stalls if I stood at a certain angle. Justin stood with his back pressed up against the sidewall looking up into Brian’s face. The taller man was sliding his hands along Justin’s sides slowly pulling the artist’s shirt up exposing unblemished skin. Justin’s lips parted and his tongue darted out to wet them. He seemed to be holding his breath. Brian stared transfixed at the inviting, glistening lips before leaning down and kissing them softly. His hands roamed the blond’s body, eventually finding the zipper of his pants. He pulled them down to Justin’s knees and hunched the shirt further up to kiss a path down the younger man’s navel before taking the hard and leaking cock into his mouth. His motions were almost reverent.

He was worshipping his body, worshipping Justin. And I felt satisfied somehow, knowing that Brian was aware of the wonder that he held in his arms, knowing that Justin hadn’t settled. I turned to leave when a sudden movement of Brian’s caught my attention again. I remained rooted in the spot from which I had a satisfactory view and watched as Brian gripped Justin’s thighs and pulled the smaller man up. Justin wrapped his legs around Brian’s waist gripping the edge of the dividing wall above his head with both hands.

Brian quickly freed his own hard-on, not bothering pulling down his pants. Grabbing a condom from his pocket he ripped it open with his teeth while the arm that wasn’t gripping Justin’s waist reached around the blond to prepare him.

“No.” The blond breathed. “I’m still stretched from before.”

Brian looked at him, shaking his head. “No, you’re not. You’re always tight.”

He must have pushed a couple of fingers inside the blond then because Justin arched his back and released one of his hands that was gripping the wall to bite down on his fist to prevent himself from screaming out. Then Brian grabbed his own cock and directed it to Justin’s opening, slowly lowering the blond and impaling him on his rigid shaft. Justin grabbed the stall divider with both hands again needing the leverage and began to pull himself up before slamming down.

His mouth opened in ecstasy but before a sound could escape Brian placed a palm over it, silencing any scream or moan the blond was about to release. He kept his hand pressed against Justin’s mouth, burrowed his face in Justin’s neck and began sucking on his skin. They reached climax in record time, Brian’s panting muffled against Justin’s neck. They both stopped moving, Justin still impaled on Brian’s cock. When Brian finally did move he took his palm off of the blond’s mouth and stared up at him. They were silent but Brian seemed to communicate with Justin through his eyes. Asking him, telling him. Justin nodded twice, took Brian’s face between his palms and whispered, “I love you, too.”

I hurried out of the bathroom then. I had no right to witness what I had. I returned to the table and met Arianna’s knowing grin. A few minutes later, Brian returned and took his seat. Justin followed moments later.

“Arianna, Phil, it’s getting late. If you don’t mind Brian and I would like to head home. Babysitter can’t stay too long.”

“Yes, sure. No problem. It was a very nice evening, Justin. Brian.” She nodded at the older man.

“It was. Thank you for the invite. Make sure to call me and we’ll set up a date for you to come to Britin.” Justin replied.

“Britin?”

“I mean, our house. Never mind.” Justin didn’t explain further.

“Alright. I will. Have a safe trip home.”

“Thanks. You, too.”

They said their goodbyes and Justin and Brian left the restaurant, Brian’s hand never leaving the small of Justin’s back as he guided them both out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

Present, October 2010

“It’s Friday night, the boys are probably all in Babylon tonight.” Brian tried to carry on a conversation while Justin was molesting him.

They had left the restaurant precipitately, making up an excuse that they needed to be home because of the babysitter.

While they had waited for the valet to bring around the ‘Vette, Brian had asked, “Babysitter excuse?”

Justin had shrugged. They both knew Trish would stay overnight, since they hadn’t been sure what time they’d be back. Obviously, the blond had other plans.

“I’m horny. Let’s go to Babylon and fuck. And fuck. And then fuck some more.”

“You want to put on a show?” Brian had asked.

“I want them to see what they can never have.”

Evil, blond, horny twink. Just the way Brian liked him best.

Ever since they got into the car, even before Brian started the motor, Justin went for his zipper and pulled it down, pushing his hand inside Brian’s pants and starting to stroke the brunet to erection. He then scooted over and gave Brian an evil smirk before lowering his head down and taking Brian’s half hard cock in his mouth.

Brian pulled onto the street and drove as carefully as he could, considering that the finest and most talented tongue on the East Coast was working his hardening member. Justin circled the head with his tongue and let his lips trail kisses along the length of the shaft, nuzzling the pubes and Brian’s balls before coming up again to lick at the first drop of pre-cum. The blond formed a tight ring with his full lips and slid down the hard rod to the hilt. When the head of Brian’s cock hit the back of his throat Justin pushed firmer, trying to swallow more of Brian, but because of the confines of the car and his uncomfortable position he gagged. He pulled up and tried again, relaxing his throat and succeeded to take Brian whole. He started to swallow rhythmically. The contractions made Brian release a loud moan. Keeping a firm hold on the steering wheel with one hand, he sank the fingers of the other in Justin’s hair to keep the blond head from moving upwards. When Justin needed to take a breath he touched Brian’s hand holding him down and the brunet released him. Justin gulped a fresh lungful of air and dived deep again.

Justin’s throat felt so tight, the swallowing contractions worked his shaft, Brian almost saw stars. Justin’s mouth was wet, warm, and so fucking soft, he’d be coming any second. Justin felt Brian’s dick swell even more and pressed his lips as tight around the base of his cock as he could to keep him from coming. Brian yelped and jerked his hips to make Justin move the show along. Justin was having none of that and kept a tight ring around Brian’s shaft until the brunet had calmed down a bit.

Breathing heavily Brian asked, “What the fuck are you trying to do? Kill us both?” Justin re-emerged gasping for air.

“Getting you ready.” Justin replied. “So the first thing you’ll do when we’re in Babylon is fuck me as hard as you can.” He grinned and went for Brian’s cock again that was a deep shade of purple by now.

He took it half-way into his mouth and rolled it around with his tongue lazily then gave the head a workout by alternately sucking it fiercely and ramming the tip of his tongue in Brian’s slit.

“Holy Jesus Fuck!” Brian breathed when Justin brought him close to the brink again. Before he could shoot his load into the blond’s mouth however, Justin let go of him completely and tried to cool him down by blowing warm air across the sensitive skin, glistening with saliva.

“You’re going to pay for that.” Brian panted.

“Promise?” Justin countered and wet his lips before enveloping Brian in his warmth again. He was licking up and down the vein on the underside of Brian’s cock and nipping on it with his teeth when he noticed the car had stopped moving. Brian had even turned off the motor. Confused, Justin lifted his head and said, “Why did you stop?”

“We’re here, blond boy.”

“Why didn’t you say so earlier?” Justin called exasperatedly and scrambled to get out of the car. “Come on, old man, you’ve got an image to uphold,” he teased while he waited for Brian to get out of the car. As soon as Brian stepped out, Justin grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the entrance not even stopping to say hello to the bouncers who exchanged a sly look.

Justin impatiently pushed aside every guy and door that blocked his way to the backroom all the while pulling Brian behind him by his hand, ignoring every amused grin that followed them. When he finally reached his destination, Justin turned to face the wall and worked open his pants.

“Hurry, Brian.” Justin panted and spread himself for his lover.

Brian shook his head disbelievingly at the antics of his lover. “I’m not a machine. I have feelings too, you know.” Brian teased the blond. He quickly pulled down the zipper on his pants and opened the button, not taking the time to pull the pants down even a bit. Snatching a condom from his pocket he quickly prepared himself and buried his dick inside the wantonly spread ass before him. Both men released deep growls and moved together in a rhythm designed to bring them off as quickly as possible.

A few of the backroom visitors stopped what they were doing and exchanged unbelieving glances. Brian and Justin had entered the backroom merely a few seconds ago and were already going at it hot and heavy. As Brian thrust his hips faster the moans from the blond became louder.

“Deeper. Harder. Yesss... Harder, Brian… More… Oh, God, yes…”

More people stopped to watch the two. Brian and Justin were unaware of their audience. Brian worked to make Justin come in record time and felt the blond getting closer. Justin felt it too and knew it wouldn’t take more than a couple of extra thrusts from Brian against his prostate to make him spill. Justin wanted Brian to orgasm with him so he squeezed his muscles on every in-thrust to bring Brian closer to the edge too. Brian fought to keep a scream in his throat when he felt Justin’s ass work him and whispered into the blond’s ear.

“Good boy.”

As soon as the words penetrated Justin’s brain, he was lost. He shot his load and felt Brian do the same. Then Brian turned him around and kissed his panting mouth.

“Let’s get something to drink before we start on round two.” Justin suggested and they left the backroom.

Brian ordered two beers and downed half of his in one gulp. He noticed Emmett on the dance floor and toasted him with a raised bottle. Emmett waved back but continued to dance. Brian scanned the place to see if Mikey and the Professor would be there too but he only saw Ted nursing a glass of Pepsi.

When he turned his attention back to Justin he noticed Justin was gaping at him with a lust-filled haze. He felt the air become charged with electricity and the small hairs at his neck stood in expectation.

“What’s gotten into you tonight?” Brian asked.

“You hopefully.” Justin said and pulled the brunet’s head down for a searing kiss. “Up for round two?” Justin asked and felt for Brian’s groin to check on the state of Brian’s dick. Obviously satisfied with the inspection, he grinned and declared. “I wanna blow you. I promise to let you come this time.”

Brian was not a person to say no to this sort of offer when it came from a certain blond. He motioned for Justin to lead the way and followed the blond to the backroom once more. Heads turned again upon their entrance and Brian noticed with a smirk that they would have quite a spectatorship. Even better. Justin was known to perform particularly well in front of a live audience. Wanting the show to take a while Brian chose a place where he could sit down and Justin immediately let himself sink to his knees.

Without any preamble Justin pulled Brian’s dick from the confines of his pants and began stroking it with his right hand while licking softly at the head. His left hand travelled down to Brian’s balls and rolled them around carefully. Brian released a silent growl that reverberated through his body and Justin felt it on the tip of his tongue. Forming a tight circle with his thumb and index finger around Brian’s base, again he began to lick, nip, and stroke the shaft till the color of the head turned a deep red with all the pent up desire. Justin’s lips travelled up the steel length and sucked greedily on the sensitive head. He let his flat tongue lave every centimeter of skin. The blond dipped the tip of his tongue into the point on the underside of Brian’s cock, just under the rim surrounding the cock head.

Brian’s throat arched at that. And Justin kept repeating the motion every couple of minutes, raining soft kisses on the painfully throbbing shaft in between to bring the brunet down a little. When he felt Brian’s balls slowly lift up despite the improvised cock ring around the base of his shaft, Justin knew Brian wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer. He released the firm hold on Brian’s dick, opened his mouth and throat and took him in completely, swallowing in the process.

Brian grabbed Justin’s face with both hands and held him still. He pulled his hips back a little feeling his cock sliding out from Justin’s throat. He gave a forward jerk and almost melted in pleasure as his dick slid back in again, deep. Fucking his face at his own leisurely pace, Brian kept Justin in position. When he finally couldn’t wait any longer to come, he told Justin to take a deep breath and, after the blond did as he was told, Brian slid all the way in again, burying his dick to the hilt in Justin’s mouth and throat. Fully embedded in the blond’s wet cavern, Brian held still, letting Justin’s contracting throat take care of the rest. When he started coming, he pulled back a little to flood Justin’s mouth and let the blond drink his reward.

When Justin pulled up and stood towering above the brunet with a smug grin on his face, Brian knew Justin loved it just as much as he did. Brian stood up and walked into Justin, their chests colliding. Brian kept on walking until Justin was pressed into the wall behind him.

Brian held a palm in front of Justin’s mouth and let the blond’s tongue wet it before he grabbed Justin’s rock hard cock with it. He began working his fist on his lover’s erection watching Justin’s face as he did so. Justin looked him in the eyes, seemingly unable to blink or look away. While working his steel rod, Brian sucked on two of his own fingers, his tongue wetting them thoroughly. He sent Justin an evil grin before pulling the blond’s pants out of the way and reaching around to push his two spit slicked fingers into the artist’s rectum.

Justin gasped loudly and grabbed Brian’s shoulders for support as the brunet played with his entrance letting the fingers slip in and out of his body, occasionally scissoring them. He would pull out and circle the hole before forcefully yanking them inside again, at the same time giving his cock head a tight squeeze and pushing his thumb into the slit, driving Justin mad with desire. Letting his forehead fall against the curve of Brian’s neck, Justin clenched his fists into Brian’s upper arm muscles and jerked as his body released a mind-blowing orgasm.

“Don’t pull out.” Justin managed to gasp between his labored breaths when Brian moved to free his fingers. Brian held still, then twisted his hand a little, sliding his fingers further in. Justin moaned and buried his face deeper in Brian’s neck. He mumbled something and Brian pulled back slightly to look at him.

“What did you say?”

“Another round.” Justin repeated and pulled Brian closer again.

The fingers still embedded in Justin’s body Brian drew back a few inches, let a third rest lightly on the blond’s entrance and slid all three slowly and carefully inside again. Justin gave a deep sigh that vibrated through Brian’s whole body and made the taller man shiver.

Justin let one of his hands slide down Brian’s body and fondled the man’s spent cock.

“You plan to kill me tonight?” Brian asked the blond.

“You don’t need to fuck me. Just be inside me.” Justin looked pleadingly in Brian’s hazel eyes. Brian’s hand wrapped itself around Justin’s and together they began stroking Brian’s cock till it filled again. Justin heard a surprised and excited murmur going through the backroom when Brian reached for another condom but managed to block out all the sounds surrounding them and focused exclusively on Brian. His silky voice telling him to turn around, his gentle but forceful hands helping him to position himself, the feel of Brian’s soft and damp hair on his cheek when Brian leaned in to whisper in his ear, the salty taste of Brian’s skin when his tongue licked a path across the corner of his mouth. This was his. All of this.

The heady feeling of power over an untamable being like Brian filled Justin and he almost screamed in triumph when Brian slid carefully inside him again, filling him so completely. He felt his own channel envelop Brian’s hardness and sighed contentedly. They stood still trying not to move an inch just enjoying their bodies being as close as possible. Brian’s palms ran up and down Justin’s sides, moved to the front and stroked his stomach and abdomen, caressing the silky skin. Brian’s dick grew even harder and Justin could feel it throb deep within him.

“You have the most amazing body.” Brian whispered in the blond’s ear, accentuating the statement with a push of his hips. Justin jerked and felt the blood rush towards his limp cock. “You smell so fucking good.” Another jerk with his hips. Brian buried his nose behind Justin’s ear and breathed. He grabbed Justin’s chin with one hand and turned it around to look at it. “Sometimes I dream about those …lips…” _Push_. “…of yours.” He licked across the blond’s parted mouth. “Imagine them wrapped around my …cock.” Another forceful push. He wasn’t pulling out even the fraction of an inch. Brian was so deep inside him, Justin thought his eyes would pop out any minute. He pressed his ass against Brian hoping to remind him to move, to end this sweet torture. Brian closed his eyes for a moment before whispering, “The most perfect ass.” He pushed again, and again, until Justin felt Brian’s body go rigid and release the tension with a deep groan. Brian sagged against Justin’s back, then pulled out very slowly discarding the condom.

He started to kiss the neck of the blond, sucking a little on the damp skin then moved further down along the line of his spine always sucking, kissing and licking. He sank to his knees nibbling on the dimples above Justin’s ass. His hands grabbed the blond’s hips and turned him around. Justin’s cock bobbed in front of his face and he licked a long line from its base to the head. Reaching the slit he pushed the tip of his tongue against the sensitive spot and enveloped the head in his wet warmth. Brian was dimly aware of his audience because the backroom had become eerily quiet but decided that worshipping Justin’s amazing form took precedence over anything else right then.

As a concession to his onlookers perhaps, Brian didn’t allow Justin to sink his fingers into his hair to fuck his face. Whenever the blond tried to grab the back of the taller man’s head, the brunet would take his hands and place them on the side of his body, indicating this was where he wanted them.

“Oh, my God.” Justin managed to choke out when Brian scraped his teeth playfully across the sensitive head and down the shaft. “Brian!”

Justin scrambled for any purchase on the wall behind him but couldn’t find any. Brian’s sucking and licking and nibbling was making him crazy and he desperately wanted to grab onto something.

“Brian…God, please… Please, Brian…” He almost screamed. Not really certain if he was begging him to end the torture or to never stop with it at all. “PleasePleasePlease—“

When Brian reached up with one hand and moved for his balls, rolling them in his palm, he couldn’t hold back any longer and came, flooding Brian’s mouth, his hands once again flying to Brian’s head and weaving themselves into the soft strands.

Brian allowed him to empty himself before pulling up and pressing his mouth against Justin’s open lips. His tongue pushed generous amounts of cum into the blond’s mouth, coating the inside of his palate with the precious liquid.

The room stood transfixed by the sight in front of them, not a single eye blinking. Brian Kinney on his knees making his blond boy toy scream and beg was something that would nurture the gossip for weeks, if not months, to come. Still recovering from the hotness they just had been privy to witness, they returned to their respective fucking partners and resumed their activities with all the pent-up sexual lust that derived from watching these two godly creatures perform. Some wondering what other spectacles went on between those two behind closed doors, where they were given free reign. The room erupted in one collective orgasm as the unthinkable possibilities flitted in front of their inner minds’ eyes.

When Brian and Justin made it to the bar, shortly after their uncrowned performance, they were met by a smirking Emmett, eyes opened wide in astonishment.

“What?” Brian said roughly.

“I don’t believe it. It’s not enough for you to leave the stage in glory, is it? You had to make them salivate all over what they can’t have. Give sustenance to the legend?” Em laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

Brian gulped down another drink, not commenting. “So, how long will they keep it up?” He finally asked.

“Keep what up?” Emmett replied.

“The Bet.” Brian clarified what he was talking about.

Emmett scrunched up his nose in discomfort. “Oh, you know about that, do you?”

Brian shrugged his shoulders.

“I’d say not before you gain fifty pounds, forego showering, grow a beard, discard all of your designer clothes, and start wearing purple sweatpants.” Emmett answered his earlier question. Justin laughed.

“What about when I start wearing a ring on my finger?” Brian asked, unfazed.

Emmett glared at him, a dead-panned expression on his face as if the act of thinking was deferred for the time being. He blinked rapidly. When he finally found his voice, he replied in a blank voice, stunned beyond comprehension, “That’ll work, too.”

Emmett then turned to the bar and ordered two shots of Jim Beam, not usually his drink of choice, gulping them down while trying to get his mind back on track, not quite sure if he should be on the lookout for the four horsemen. He scanned the room full of half-naked bodies and noticed Brian and Justin dancing at the center in a tight grinding embrace. People all around them were whispering, gossiping, but mostly simply staring with slacked jaws. Brian and Justin either didn’t notice or didn’t care for the attention and lost themselves in each other. Emmett turned and ordered another shot. He wondered how many more shots it would take to tilt the world back onto its axis.


	15. Chapter 15

Present, October 2010

Brian was nervous. He wasn’t used to being nervous before a presentation but this one was for Cuylen Automobiles and he had worked his ass off for the project the last couple of weeks. Not even a handjob from Justin in the shower this morning couldn’t help matters. Well, not for long at least. He had kissed the blond goodbye after two cups of coffee, not able to eat anything, gave each girl a peck on the cheek, and promised to call the artist as soon as the meeting was over to let him know how it went.

They were supposed to meet at the doctor’s office early that afternoon. Justin would come over around noon to leave the twins with Cynthia for the duration of the appointment. Brian wouldn’t admit it to Justin but part of his nervousness was due to the fact that they were getting tested in order to do it raw. Ten years, Brian had mused, while he had been driving into the city. Ten fucking years and he still wanted the blond with an intensity like the very first night.

 

 

>>><<<

 

  
“Fuck, Justin, they’re so big already.” Daphne exclaimed when she came out the door to help him with the girls. 

“Language, Daph.” Justin admonished.

“Right.” Daphne sneered. “They’re calling Brian Kinney ‘Dada’, Debbie is one of their Grandmas, Uncle Mikey writes stories filled with gay porn and their Daddy supplies the pretty and very graphic pictures to go with it. And you’re worried _I_ might be a bad influence? Uh-huh.” She rolled her eyes to emphasize her point.

“Thanks, Daph. Now I think we should have set aside a trust for their therapy sessions instead of a college fund.”

“Oh, relax. So, they’ll grow up in a sexually tensed up environment. So what? I don’t think they’ll be worse off because of that.”

“Oh, and you’re an expert because?”

“Because you didn’t and you still lost your virginity to a man twelve years your senior at the age of seventeen. So excuse me if I’m hard pressed to see a connection where there is none. It’s not about what they see or hear; it’s about what you teach them to think about it. Come on, I made chocolate chip cookies. And I told Henry you’d be bringing the twins. He’s all excited. I think he has a crush on Alex.”

“He’s two years old. Two year olds don’t have crushes.” Justin disagreed.

“Yeah? You just wait and see.”

>>><<<

 

  
“Thanks, Daph, for doing this.” 

“Oh, stop it. Don’t act like I’m your life saver. Like there aren’t at least three people standing in line waiting for their turn to babysit them.”

It was true. Justin knew he could call Emmett or Deb anytime or, as long as she was home for a weekend or a study break, even Molly, or Jennifer if she wasn’t out for an appointment. They all pitched in when it came to the twins. Molly liked to call their upbringing a group effort. And it truly was. As long as the twins were happy and content, and it was obvious to anyone that they were, neither Justin nor Brian saw something wrong with that.

“What’s the emergency?” Daphne asked.

“No emergency. I’m meeting Brian sometime after noon, and I wanted to get my hair cut before that. It’s time. The twins are out of the hair pulling age, but still.”

“I bet Brian isn’t.” Daphne smirked.

Justin shook his head at his friend. “You have a dirty, _dirty_ mind.”

“ _I_ ’m only thinking it. _You_ ’re doing it.” She countered.

Justin grinned. “Okay, I’m gone. If you need anything call my cell. Don’t call Brian or Kinnetik. He has an important meeting today and I don’t want him to worry about anything else, okay?”

She saluted him and knelt down beside the twins. “Say bye-bye to Daddy.” She took their hands and waved Justin out the door.

Justin got behind his wheel and started the motor, thinking back to Brian and hoping the meeting was going according to Brian’s plans. Justin knew how important this prospective client was for Kinnetik.

  


>>><<<

 

  
Brian skimmed through his papers one last time. The graphics were magnificent, the concept of the ad simple genius, if he said so himself, nothing to worry about. This was as perfect as it could get. Now it hinged on Brian to convince the representatives of Cuylen Automobiles. As the minutes passed Brian grew calmer. This was what he was best at. Selling the product. Only, in this stage of business, the product was Brian himself and Kinnetik. He gathered his folder and went to check on the conference room. The air outside his office seemed charged; every employee knew how important today was, they all seemed to be holding a collective breath to see how it would go. 

“Gentlemen,” Brian greeted the Cuylen administration consisting of no less than five people, fifteen minutes later.

Seats were taken, drinks offered, greetings exchanged before Brian could start on his sales pitch.

“As I’m sure you’ve all been made aware of, now is not the perfect environment to launch a luxury car on the market. Especially not if the name of your company doesn’t ring any bells with the consumer. The concept I’m going to present you is based on exactly those presumptions.” Brian paused to gauge their reaction. Curiosity. Good. He continued. “What we’re going to do is to combine both, the product and your company’s name to—“

The door was pushed open with force at just that moment, and Brian’s head flew around to focus on the intruder. Everyone had been given special orders not to interrupt this meeting under threats of dismemberment.

When Brian’s eyes fell on Cynthia standing in the door, a wild look on her face, his heart ceased to beat for a few seconds and then dropped somewhere beyond his waistline. Coldness so intense it made his joints hurt swept over his body as he stood there unable to move. His heart started pumping again with galloping speed, filling his ears with a rushing noise. All of a sudden the rigor was broken and he moved into action. Brian left the room without an apology or an explanation, not looking back even once.

“Justin?” Brian muttered as Cynthia followed him down the corridor.

Cynthia nodded and hurried to explain. “A nurse from Allegheny General called. A car crash, apparently. He’s unconscious. They’re testing him. She couldn’t tell me anything more.”

“The girls?”

“I don’t know. The nurse didn’t say.”

“Where are my car keys?” Brian muttered, torn between heading for the entrance to leave and his office to get his jacket.

“Ted is waiting downstairs. He’ll drive you.” Cynthia explained and pushed him towards the exit. An intern came rushing towards Brian from somewhere, handing Brian’s jacket to Cynthia who, in turn, pushed it into Brian’s hands.

“I need to call—“ Brian began but Cynthia interrupted him.

“I already called Jennifer. She’s with a client somewhere outside the city. Tucker will get her and they’ll meet you at the hospital.”

“Thanks, Cyn.” He was almost out the door before he remembered. “Call Justin’s doctor, tell him to fax his medical file over to Allegheny.”

“Will do, Brian. Now go.”

>>><<<

 

  
Hadn’t he spent enough time in hospitals already, for fuck’s sake? When would it finally be enough? Brian wondered as he walked the hallways in the hospital. Ten years. Ten fucking years and he still knew how to get to the ICU with his eyes blindfolded. 

“Justin Taylor.” Brian demanded, not having the time or patience for common courtesy.

“Are you family?” The nurse asked in return.

“Yes.”

For a moment the nurse looked like she was going to inquire more information, but a look in Brian’s eyes made her rethink her tactic. The man in front of her looked like he was barely holding it together.

“Come with me.” She said and came around the counter.

Brian followed her, glancing back to see Theodore still standing there. Ted had already received his orders – get back to Kinnetik and try to save the situation. If there was anything to save. Yet Brian couldn’t bring himself to care.

The nurse pushed open a door and stood aside to let Brian enter. When he didn’t move, she told him, “He’s unconscious. He probably suffered from a head trauma but it’s hard to say. There is no visible indication of that. Someone will be in shortly to take him for a CT scan.”

“Was he alone in the car?” Brian asked. He knew Trish was out of town for a couple of days. Brian wasn’t aware of any arrangements Justin might have made with Deb or anyone else, and if Jennifer was out on an appointment… Where were the twins?

“Yes. No one else was in there, as far as the EMTs could tell. Was he supposed to have someone with him?”

“Yes. Our daughters.” Brian gulped.

“No children were brought in. But I’ll go and recheck if you like.” The nurse offered.

Brian nodded and moved into the room as he heard the nurse leave to give him some privacy. He looked at the bed before him. The beeping of the monitors was unnerving. But even more so the motionless and pale body under the light sheet covers. Brian moved towards him, determined to ignore all the medical equipment. He focused his attention on Justin’s face. No scratches, no blood. Why wasn’t he awake?

He hadn’t even had the time to touch him as two male nurses came into the room to take Justin into radiology. They suggested, Brian wait in the waiting room, seeing as they couldn’t tell him how long the CT scan would take. The nurse would be sent to tell him when Justin was back in his room. Brian smoothed back the blond hair that had fallen across the forehead and placed a gentle kiss on the soft skin before allowing the nurses to take Justin away.

The men left with Justin and Brian was left standing there, not knowing what to do. He remembered Cynthia telling him Jennifer would meet him later and decided to go to the waiting room to wait for her there.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian sat on the hard plastic chair, staring forlorn into the wall before him. The sounds and smells of the everyday hospital life lulled him back to the last time he was sitting in almost the exact same spot. Except now his face and hands weren’t covered in blood. 

He recalled a different self from a different time. A Brian so desperate to have the old Justin back. A Justin who would smile brighter than sunshine, who would tease, and joke, and laugh – always laugh. The one who would know when to call Brian on his shit and who would never be afraid to do so despite everything that came out of Brian’s mouth. Because he had the uncanny ability to thread apart all of Brian’s words, sounds, facial expressions, smirks, eye squints, and weave them back together into a symphony that carried the true meaning. As the recollections assaulted him, Brian tried to bite back the tears and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. He would not allow himself to fall apart before speaking with a doctor. This resolve helped to keep the tears in check but he couldn’t prevent other, long suppressed, memories from re-emerging.

He remembered a Brian who was desperate to have the old Justin back, but at the same time was so profoundly grateful to at least have _this_ Justin. Only a shadow of his old self but at least still _part_ of the old one. Even if only just a fraction of him. His thoughts were invaded by this other Brian. The one who was terrified to touch the blond, damaged twink.

 _Help him be touched._

And who was going to help _him_ , that old, new, _changed_ Brian? The old helplessness from back then flooded Brian when he remembered thinking that his heart wouldn’t survive a rejection. And the recalled feeling of helplessness was immediately followed by another – he remembered feeling relieved. Oh, so fucking relieved, when Justin _would_ have Brian, and only Brian, touch him.

Continuing to stare at the perfectly white wall without really seeing it at all, Brian’s thoughts strayed even further back and he remembered the first of what was to become dozens of nights filled with night terrors, bad dreams, screaming, flailing, and panic attacks. It shocked him how perfectly he could recall the heartbreak, because this person that was lying next to him was too beautiful, too fragile to be burdened with such a fate. He remembered feeling destitute, not knowing how to react, how to wake him without touching him.

And he remembered the new, but certainly not improved, Justin from back then. The one who would cry silently every night and who tried to hide his tears. A broken boy. Crying for things known only for the shortest of time and now lost forever. Brian refused to think about which one of the many Justins that he’d known so far would be handed back to him this time. The anger was boiling just too close to his exterior surface – anger at fate, universe, God, the mere idea of poetic fucking justice! And Brian continued to stare ahead.

  


>>><<<

 

  
“Brian?” Jennifer’s urgent voice woke him from his trance. “How is he?” 

“I don’t know. He’s unconscious. They’re trying to figure out why.” Brian looked at Jennifer and allowed himself to break. “I can’t do this, Jen. I can’t lose him again. It’s taken years the last time.”

“Years?” Jennifer asked, not understanding, when she wrapped her arms around him and held him.

“Till I got him back. It’s been years until he was back to being Justin. I can’t lose him again. What am I supposed to do without him?” Jennifer still didn’t completely understand what Brian was talking about but she held on tight. Letting him vent. They stood there as the nurses and doctors swivelled around them, stood there as Debbie arrived with Michael, and stood there when Brian’s phone started to ring. The ringing seemed to jerk Brian awake and he answered it.

“Brian, thank god. I’ve been trying Justin’s cell for the last half hour. He said he’d leave it on. But I can’t reach him. Has something happened?”

“Daphne?” Brian answered, voice raspy from all the suppressed tears.

“I know I wasn’t supposed to call you but I figured, it’s after noon, your meeting would be over by now. Alex is crying, Brian. And I don’t know what to do. She never cries. She doesn’t have a fever or anything. She’s just crying and I’m at a loss.”

“The girls are with you?” Brian asked. Relief washing over him. The first good news of the day.

“Yes. Justin brought them over earlier. He said to call him if I needed anything but now I can’t reach him. Is he with you? Is everything alright?”

Brian was about to answer but then realized he couldn’t have her panicking when she was alone with three toddlers. So he said, “I’ll be over in a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay.” She was obviously irritated but didn’t ask any questions. Brian hung up and left the waiting room without speaking to anyone.

 

>>><<<

 

  
He returned to the hospital after he picked up Alex and Emma. Not trusting his own abilities right then and because exhaustion was gradually taking over, Brian let Daphne drive after she called a babysitter for Henry. Daphne’s car only had one baby seat and Brian strapped Emma into it while keeping Alex on his lap. She calmed down a little when she saw Brian and wasn’t crying as hard as before anymore. Occasionally sobbing, she burrowed her wet face into Brian’s neck curve while Brian caressed her back in soothing circles. 

“It’s gonna be okay, baby. Shh. Daddy’s gonna be fine.” Brian didn’t doubt for a second that Alex felt that something was wrong and that that was the reason why she was crying. Apart from when she fell or hurt herself, she never cried. Neither did Emma.

He was admitted into Justin’s room as soon as he arrived at the ICU. He wasn’t sure if bringing the girls with him was such a great idea but he didn’t want to risk leaving them alone. Even if half the family was already there in the waiting room. He didn’t want to leave them without a parent in the emotionally laden atmosphere. Even Emma was strangely subdued.

He took Emma’s hand and picked up Alex in his arms as he walked slowly towards the room Justin had been brought back to. He matched his step with Emma’s as they made their way over to the door that, once again, was being held open by a nurse. She gave the three of them a tight-lipped smile.

“He had a subdural bleeding, probably as a result from the airbag explosion and his history of head injuries. It’s been taken care of; he should be waking up any minute.”

Brian nodded curtly. It’s already been explained to him by Justin’s neurosurgeon. Another brain surgery. Brian had silently cursed as the information was delivered. God, that fucking bastard, had a truly morbid sense of humor.

“He’ll be alright. Full recovery, no lasting effect.” The nurse whispered to Brian and he smiled at her gratefully.

Brian walked up to Justin’s bed taking in the image of the heavy head bandage and various tubes and wires attached to his lover’s body. Despite everything, Justin looked merely asleep and Brian risked coming closer, deciding it would be okay for the girls to see their daddy like that. Even if he was surrounded by unnerving beeping machines. Brian laid Alex down beside Justin. She immediately curled up in the crook of his arm. Brian then bent down to pick up Emma and pulled a chair closer to the bed, before sitting down, pulling Emma onto his lap. He reached out to run a thumb lightly over Justin’s chapped lips and across his cheek. He then grabbed the unresponsive blond’s hand and squeezed his fingers.

“Wake up. There’s someone here to see you.” Brian leaned over to whisper in his ear. No reaction.

“You’re going to wake up! And soon!” Brian ordered. “Because I’m not going to stand guard outside your room all night this time. I’m too old for this shit.”

“Hisss ‘ime?” A faint voice came from Justin’s dry lips.

Brian reached over for the plastic cup filled with ice cubes that were melting slowly, dipped one of his fingers in it, then wetted Justin’s lips with his fingertip before letting a small piece of ice slip into the blond’s mouth.

“What?” Brian asked.

Justin swallowed a few times. Then repeated, more clearly now. “Th-this time?”

“You heard that, huh?”

“Wha’d’ya mean ‘This—‘” Justin slurred but broke when he noticed the warm bundle under his right arm. He tried to lift his head but it hurt like hell, so he gave a painful moan and lay still.

“Don’t move. You had brain surgery.” Brian explained.

“Again?” Justin whined.

“Yeah, it’s getting kinda old. You may want to extend your repertoire.” Brian added sarcastically.

Justin tried to roll his eyes, but found, that hurt, too.

“Do you hurt somewhere else? Beside your head, I mean?”

Justin concentrated on his body. He was feeling incredibly tired, not unlike after running a marathon, he surmised. His muscles throbbed but nothing worse. “I don’t think so.” His speech sounded clearer now. “Is Alex ok?” He lifted his hand to brush over her blond strands that were so much like his own, only finer. She seemed to be asleep.

“She will be. I think she was worried about you. She started crying and Daphne didn’t know what to do. She called me because she couldn’t reach your cell. You got an arm free for one more?” Brian asked. Justin tried to smile, so Brian got up and gently laid Emma down on Justin’s other side.

She stared with large blue eyes up to Justin. “Da, ow!” She said and pointed a tiny finger at Justin’s head.

Justin patted her head. “I’m fine, princess,” he assured her. Then, “What happened to me? Why did I need brain surgery?” Justin asked as if only now remembering that having brain surgery had not been on his agenda today.

“Car accident. Some guy lost control over his truck while you were waiting at a red light. Where were you going?”

“Hmmm.” Justin tried to think. “To get my hair cut.” He finally remembered.

“Oh, your hair got cut, alright.”

“Don’t make fun of me while I’m all helpless and hurt.” Justin pouted before changing the subject. “So… _this time_ , huh? Tell me about the other time, then.”

Brian sighed deep – a tortured soul.

“And make it a good story. With a happy ending and stuff.” Justin grinned, and closed his eyes, ready for the storytelling session.

Brian smiled. They’d be alright.


	16. Chapter 16

Present, November 2010

“So, the idea was, if you can’t make the economy crisis disappear, make it work for you. We’re basically saying, now is the time to set yourself apart from the rest. Show the world that you’re unaffected by the crumpling of the Dow Jones and collapsing businesses.” Brian pronounced with mocked pathos.

“By buying a Cuylen limousine.”

“By buying a Cuylen limousine.” Brian confirmed Justin’s statement. “While setting a trend at the same time, since Cuylen is yet an unfamiliar brand in the US. And it’ll work because those people who can afford such a car really don’t care for how bad the world finance conditions are. And, the fact that it’s a European based industry adds not only to the quality aspect but also helps us sell the product.”

“Euro-craze?” Justin guessed.

“That too, but also because people tend to think that Europe was less affected by the financial crisis. They perceive European products as a safer investment. All in all the circumstances work for us.”

Justin gaped with unbelieving eyes. “Brilliant. You not only make it sound plausible, you make the client think the economy crisis is actually a good thing to happen to them.”

Brian smiled and basked a little in Justin’s worship. “I actually have you to thank.” Brian admitted.

“What did I do?” Justin wondered.

“You told me that I could market anything anytime and that that was what set me apart from all the rest. I took your thought and expanded it.”

“And proved me right in the process.”

Brian sipped on his bottle of beer. They were sprawled in front of the fireplace. It was already November and though it’s been a comparably warm fall so far, the nights started to get palpably colder. The temperatures sank so low now that they decided to light a fire after the girls had been brought to bed. Justin had been home for more than four weeks now, getting better every day but, complying with Brian’s wishes, still taking it slow. It wasn’t as though he had had any chance to burn himself out between all the mothering from Jennifer, Debbie, and Trish. Justin often complained to Brian that he felt like he had three mothers who were all strangling him with their care. All this on top of a very concerned partner who kept a watchful eye on him.

“Did they like it? They loved it, didn’t they?” Justin enthused.

“I think they’ve forgiven me for walking out on them without an explanation the last time.”

“I think a celebration is in order.”

“I think so too. Oh, this reminds me, the Cuylens invited us to dinner Sunday night.”

“Then I guess I have to cancel the orgy I had planned for Sunday afternoon.” Justin sighed jokingly.

“Let’s see if you gained enough strength to put up with _me_ first before you organize a debauchery.”

Justin grinned happily and scooted closer on the soft rug. Brian stopped him before he could get too close.

“You wanna go check on the girls first?”

“Okay. But don’t you go anywhere.” Justin answered and got to his feet.

He sprinted up the stairs, observing with satisfaction that he no longer experienced headaches from sudden movements.

 

>>><<<

Four weeks earlier

Brian carried the food tray upstairs, executing a direct order from Trish. He took extra care not to spill the steaming hot contents. The woman had made a bowl of chicken soup after a recipe that Debbie had sent earlier, together with get well wishes and a dozen of red-lipstick-pecks on both cheeks, which Brian had to promise to pass along to Justin. Entering the master bedroom, Brian found the patient out of bed. Looking around the room and not spotting him on the floor cushions in front of the fireplace either, Brian set down the tray of food and went to look in the bathroom. He caught the blond staring at himself in the mirror, a deep frown on his still slightly pale face.

Justin heard him enter but didn’t look up; continuing to glare at himself, eyes focused on the huge Band-Aid that covered part of his head’s left side, just above the ear.

“Brian, they shaved my hair.” Justin almost-sobbed miserably.

“Not all of it.” Brian deadpanned.

“Is that supposed to help me?” The blond exclaimed outraged.

Brian abandoned the pretense and fixed him with a stern stare. “You also had brain surgery. How about re-evaluating your priorities? And what the fuck are you doing upright? Your doctor told you to stay in bed for at least another week. You should be lying down.”

Justin let his gaze drop. He cringed a little, hoping Brian wouldn’t notice. But of course, he did.

“Does your head hurt?” The brunet demanded to know.

Justin twisted one corner of his mouth askew. “Maybe.” He mumbled almost unintelligibly.

“Get back in bed. I’ll get your meds. And Trish made a batch of Deb’s all-purpose chicken soup with magical healing powers. You’re going to eat it.”

“I don’t want chicken soup.” Justin protested as he climbed under the covers; then added, more happily, “I want pancakes.” He sent a huge grin in Brian’s direction.

“Too fucking bad. You’re going to eat it. Because I’m not going back there with a full bowl of chicken soup and face Trish’s death glare. She’s spent way too much time with Debbie these past years. She used to be such a sweet person.” Brian reminisced.

He waited until Justin got comfortable and placed the dish in front of him. He watched the blond take a few spoonful’s before asking, “Debbie’s or your mom’s?”

“Huh?”

“You want Deb’s pancakes or your mom’s?” Brian clarified with mocked exasperation.

Justin thought for a moment. “My mom’s.”

Brian turned to leave when he heard Justin call a happy ‘Thank you’.

 

>>><<<

Present, November 2010

Justin stepped up to Emma’s bed, readjusting her blanket which tended to bunch below her feet. He then checked on Alex, picking up the teddy bear and setting it aside in a corner near her pillow. He checked the baby monitor and made sure it was switched on before dimming the light low and making his way back to Brian.

Making his way downstairs, he self-consciously ran a hand through his newly cropped hair. More than four weeks had been enough time for his hair to grow over the bare spot but the rest of it had to be trimmed to achieve a presentable look. Since the sides of his head had to be kept short for that reason, Justin kept the hair on top slightly longer than the rest of it. He was still getting used to the new hairstyle but decided he actually liked what Brian’s coiffeur managed to accomplish.

Justin knew that he had put Brian’s patience up for a test because he had been whining for days that he wanted to finally be able to leave the house, but Brian had insisted that he wait another week. To appease the blond, he surprised him the day before when he brought Paolo, his personal hair stylist, for a house call to Britin. Justin smiled wide. He still owed Brian a thank you for his thoughtfulness.

Justin’s breath caught when he made it downstairs again. Brian had used the time while Justin was upstairs to discard all of his clothes and was sprawled across the plush rug, lying half on his side, half on his chest, with one knee bent to leverage his upper body slightly sideways. The light from the fireplace was painting beautiful ornaments on his tanned skin which shone with a bronze shimmer in the soft lighting.

His body was perfect, Justin thought. He let his lust-filled gaze wander over the expanse of the brunet’s neck, his muscular back and unblemished skin, all the way to the long, lean limbs. Justin could see his full balls between his slightly spread legs and felt his blood rush in the direction of his own dick. He must have done something really good in his former life to be rewarded with such a treasure, Justin mused, and huffed a laugh at the thought.

“What’s funny?” Brian asked; voice deep and raw with desire.

“I’ve just been thinking that I must have done something good in my last life to deserve you.” He shared his mind while getting rid of his clothes. When he was naked, he sank on his knees to kiss Brian then stretched alongside him, running his fingers lightly across his spine and down to his ass, then back up again. He repeated the motion until he felt Brian shiver when he came closer to his crack. He dipped his fingers lightly between the cheeks, feeling something wet and slippery. He dipped his fingers deeper. His eyes widened in surprise when he realized Brian had prepared himself for him. He growled and pushed Brian onto his belly sliding his body over the brunet’s.

Brian let Justin navigate him into the position the blond wanted. Never protesting or uttering a single word. He felt the artist’s hot lips on his neck, and sucked in a breath when Justin’s mouth started to torture him in all his sensitive spots.

Justin sucked and nibbled on the back of Brian’s neck where it met the shoulder, drawing blood to the surface. He moved to Brian’s shoulder blade, biting a trail to his spine where he lapped at each vertebra, then blew warm air across the wet skin. Brian’s body was humming with pleasure and he let a few sighs escape his throat. They reverberated in his chest and Justin could feel them resonate through his whole body. The blond’s fingers moved to Brian’s ass, kneading the muscles there and moving further down towards his balls and thighs.

Justin slipped one hand between Brian’s thighs and motioned for Brian to spread his legs. When the brunet complied without hesitation, Justin stroked up and down his inner thighs before giving the sensitive skin a light scratch with his fingernails. Brian’s back arched at the sensation, his head lifting from the forearms it was resting on. Justin caught the arched neck with his mouth and sucked on the same spot he was nipping on earlier. The caress, skin still being oversensitive to the touch, made Brian keen and he let out a feral howl. His head fell back on his arms, the chest heaving with every intake of breath.

Justin enjoyed the delirium his actions sent Brian into. He pressed on the back of Brian’s thighs in a motion to signal his lover to lift up. With his ass in the air, Justin let his hand wander to the balls hanging heavily. He weighed them in his palm, rolling them around and squeezing very lightly.

“Shit!” Brian breathed. He was burning up and so fucking ready for Justin to fuck the shit out of him, but the blond took his sweet time.

Justin nipped on the two small dips just above Brian’s ass – an area where he knew Brian was ticklish. He had to be very careful not to come close to any of the ticklish spots. He moved his lips in open-mouthed kisses across the expanse of Brian’s back, following no specific pattern. He reveled in the sounds he could produce from Brian’s throat when he lingered on this or that spot for a longer period of time.

His hands followed a completely different map. They hovered in the area of Brian’s ass where it met the thighs, then moved to Brian’s crack again. Justin let the thumb of his right hand find Brian’s well-lubed hole and slipped inside. The intrusion made Brian gasp and clench his muscles around Justin’s digit. When he relaxed again, Justin let the other thumb slip inside too. Another gasp, another clench. It took Brian a few seconds longer to adjust to the new intrusion but eventually he released the breath he was holding and relaxed his sphincter.

Justin dared to press both his thumbs deeper inside till he hit the second barrier. He pushed past it, making Brian hiss and tense. Justin held still. He knew it would be a while before Brian would be able to take more; the inner ring of muscle was harder to control, especially for someone who wasn’t used to it.

The blond tried to distract his lover from the sensation of being stretched by whispering in the brunet’s ear. “I want to fill you up. I want to push my cock all the way inside you until you can’t take anymore and then I want to come inside you, spill my juice till you think you’re going to explode. And when I pull out, I want to see it dripping out of you. Dripping down your thighs. God, I want you so much, Brian.” Justin pulled his thumbs apart slowly, stretching Brian further and holding still again, keeping him stretched and open.

“Justin. Fuck.” Brian couldn’t hold back any longer. The images Justin conjured before his inner eye kept invading his thoughts. He knew they couldn’t do it raw yet. They still hadn’t gotten around to getting tested, what with Justin’s accident and the weeks of recovery where they couldn’t have sex at all. But, oh God, he wanted Justin to do every single thing to him the blond had described.

“Jesus Fuck. Get on with the show. Don’t make me wait any longer.” The words spilled from his lips without passing the brain barrier first. He was so desperate for a piece of Justin inside the core of his body; he would have sold his soul if that was what it took to get Justin inside.

Justin carefully slipped his thumbs from Brian’s hole and quickly donned a condom. Leveraging himself with one hand pressed on Brian’s upper back and the other on the brunet’s hip, he sank into the wet hotness and moaned contentedly.

Brian’s head first shot up at the intrusive pain, then slumped back down onto his forearms. He banged his forehead a few times against his wrists, trying to delude the pain’s intensity. Finally he felt his own body stretch and adjust to Justin’s size and wrap himself snugly around the blond’s impressive boner.

“How the fuck did such a small person like you end up with such a big cock?” He pressed out.

“You love my big cock.” Justin countered and gave a plunge to emphasize his point.

The air swished out of Brian’s lungs. Justin’s first thrust taking him by surprise.

“Grab something to hold on to.” Justin advised and was pleased to notice Brian scramble to reach the couch’s armrest. Justin pulled back almost completely, only the cock of his head embedded within Brian’s opening. He enjoyed the throbbing sensation from Brian’s muscles straining to take him for a few seconds, then slammed inside. Justin yanked back, and pounded into him again, filling Brian’s ass with his cock. He thrust repeatedly burying himself to the hilt every time. When he felt Brian adjust to the violent onslaught, Justin changed the angle of his thrust on each in-stroke until he sensed he’d hit Brian’s prostate. He kept fucking the spot over and over again, Brian bucking and thrashing underneath him.

His body completely glazed over with sweat, Brian groaned incessantly. When Justin thought he heard an occasional whimper between the guttural groans he reached for the brunet’s cock and started jerking it roughly. He pushed his thumb under the rim surrounding the head which made Brian buck so wildly, Justin feared for a second he might throw him off. With a thunderous growl and a fist slamming into the couch cushions, Brian came. And came, and came, and came. Justin had never seen him shoot so much and was momentarily distracted by rope after rope of cum being released by Brian’s dick before picking up his movements and increasing the pace.

Brian thought he couldn’t take any more thrusting and was determined to make the blond come as soon as possible. He squeezed his ass and made his entrance impossibly tight. Justin’s eyes almost popped out when he fucked Brian through the incredible tightness and he finally allowed the wave to crash over him. When the tremors stopped heaving his body, he collapsed on top of his lover and closed his eyes.

He gave voice to the first coherent thought that formed in his mind after that. “God, this room reeks of sex.” Justin complained.

“Might be from all the mind-numbing fucking we were doing.” Brian replied.

“It was mind-numbing, wasn’t it?” Justin agreed.

Brian laughed. “Come on, little boy. Let’s go to bed.” He stood, pulling Justin upright with him, and made his way upstairs and to their bedroom.

They took a quick shower together, soaping each other up, too tired to do anything more at this point. They got into bed and, lying down on his side, Brian opened his arms so Justin could crawl inside and make himself comfortable. He gave a huge yawn and buried his face in Brian’s chest. Brian smelled so fucking good – a combination of the ginger-fresh shower gel and Brian’s very own brand of musk and soap. In his almost asleep state Justin wondered what this smell would taste like and gave a lick between the brunet’s pecs. It tasted amazing, so he licked another line and another. He moved over to one of Brian’s nipples and licked it, too. It tasted even better there, so Justin sucked on it.

“Why do you taste so good?” The blond muttered.

He moved further up Brian’s body, licking and tasting Brian’s shoulder, neck, and side of the face. He then pushed Brian over on his back, so he could taste his right side and compare. Brian lay there and let himself enjoy the action. Justin would sometimes get into one of those hazy funks and start sniffing him, or touching him, or, like tonight, tasting him.

“Fuck, you taste good.” Justin murmured again, this time against Brian’s lips. To prove his point, he sank his tongue deep inside Brian’s mouth and explored every fold, every nook, and every tooth, savoring the different nuances of Brian. He let go of Brian’s mouth suddenly, looked into his eyes, and announced, “I’m going to taste you.”

He then moved down the brunet’s body, dragging his tongue along every bit of skin he could reach. When he reached Brian’s belly button, he rimmed it for almost ten minutes before Brian pulled up his head and reminded him of other parts of his anatomy that were worth tasting. Justin wasted no time in taking Brian’s cock in his mouth and worshipping its every inch. He let his tongue trail around the head, under the rim, across the shaft. Letting the hard dick slip from his lips with a pop, he focused on Brian’s perineum licking it repeatedly, constantly applying more pressure.

Justin hooked his hands behind Brian’s knees and pulled his legs up to expose Brian’s asshole. It was still red and throbbing, so Justin gave it a tentative lick. It tasted amazing – an earthy flavor; the scent reminded Justin of deep seas. He started dragging his tongue around the puckered hole in slow circles. Brian’s legs began to quiver slightly but Justin focused on the task before him. He let his tongue dip between the reddened and swollen folds and it slipped easily inside. He lifted his head.

“So soft.”

He pushed his tongue inside again, tasting sex, and faint traces of latex. And Brian. He thrust his tongue in and out a few times in an effort to get even deeper, then sucked at the swollen bud. Justin laved Brian’s whole crack with his saliva until it was dripping wet and slippery again. He reached for a condom and positioned himself at Brian’s hole.

His hands held Brian’s legs up in the air by the back of his knees and he looked at his lover, giving him the opportunity to say no.

Brian kept looking into Justin’s calm face, seeing nothing but love and adoration there. “I love you.” Brian said simply, relieved and happy that Justin was alive and well.

Justin let his dick slide inside Brian. Gliding easily thanks to the saliva and earlier activities that left Brian sufficiently stretched. The pure sensation of being filled took hold of Brian’s senses, undiluted by any pain that usually accompanied the stretching. It was an indescribable feeling to have Justin inside of him like this. Not only inside his body, but inside his every pore, every thought.

Justin let go of Brian’s legs and the brunet wrapped one lightly around Justin’s body. The blond started a slow pace, moving easily inside the perfect body of his lover. Justin touched his fingertips to Brian’s lips – soft and warm. The brunet kissed the pads of his fingers, drowning in the blue orbs of his partner.

They both felt their climax slowly build up and come closer. Until Justin stopped pulling out at all and instead pushed further in, in, in. The orgasm rolled around slowly and covered them both like a warm blanket.

Brian helped Justin get rid of the condom, then wrapped his arms around the blond and closed his eyes, completely exhausted. The last thing he heard was a quietly whispered “I love you too, Brian” from Justin.


	17. Chapter 17

Present, November 2010

Brian had some work to do that morning, but most of it could be done from his home office. He would only need to go in to check on things in Babylon later that afternoon. He decided to have a lazy day and went to pull Emma free from the high chair, seeing as she was long done with her breakfast and was now playing with her food, using the mashed cereal to re-paint the table in front of her. “Artist’s kids,” Brian rolled his eyes.

“Cookie?” She asked when she saw Brian approach. Funny enough, cookie had been one of the first words the twins learned.

“It’s the last one.” Brian called in Justin’s direction when he picked the box from the cabinet.

“I’ll put it down on the list.” Justin replied. They always bought the same kind – sugar free, oat cookies. When it came to his daughters, Justin didn’t mind Brian being a health freak.

“When’s Arianna coming?” Brian asked while cleaning Emma’s hands and face with a wet towel.

“She should be here in an hour or so.” Justin’s accident had put the planned meeting on hold. However, it also gave him time to think more about what direction to take with his agent problem and he was almost sure he’d be letting Peyton go soon. Today’s meeting was merely to confirm what he felt was already a made decision.

Brian was happy. Apart from Justin’s new hairstyle, nothing reminded of the accident more than one month ago and the blond finally seemed calmer, less frustrated whenever he had to call Peyton. Brian only hoped Peyton would not make it difficult for Justin. His contract was not due for re-negotiation for another six months.

“I’ll be in my office getting some work done. If you need help with the kids let me know, alright? I’m not doing anything too important so feel free to interrupt me whenever you want.” Brian said exiting the kitchen.

Justin nodded absentmindedly. He loved those days when Brian would stay home, when there were no pressing matters to attend to, when he could just enjoy the time with his family.

 

>>><<<

 

  
About ninety minutes later Arianna arrived and was introduced to Alex who hovered behind Justin’s leg, clutching his pants for support, as Justin opened the front door. 

“Wow, Justin. I didn’t expect you to live in a mansion.” Arianna said, impressed with her surroundings. “If I had thought about it before, I’d probably have pictured you in…” she thought for a moment, “…a loft of sorts.” She finally decided.

Justin had to laugh at that. “A loft is exactly where we used to live.” He explained when Arianna raised her eyebrows in question. “Well, it was Brian’s. I moved in and out a lot, until he bought us this place. Would you like a tour?”

Arianna said yes to that. So Justin first showed her the pool, garden, and stable areas before moving on to the indoors.

“Where’s your other daughter?” Arianna finally asked.

“In Brian’s office, I suppose. Ever since she started walking by herself she never seems to sit still. These days she gets a kick out of trailing Brian’s steps.” And sure enough, as they entered Brian’s office they saw Emma mimicking his every step as he moved from the desk to the bookshelf and back, laughing on every turn. Brian humored her by changing directions suddenly and watching as she laughed some more.

After Justin introduced Arianna to Emma and she and Brian exchanged some small talk, they went off to see Justin’s studio, leaving the girls with Brian.

“They look so much like you.” Arianna remarked as they walked the hallway towards Justin’s studio.

“Yeah, I probably would have had to return them if they hadn’t come out blond. What a relief that they are.” He laughed.

“I don’t understand.”

“How could you. Brian sort of insisted on them being blond. It was one of his conditions when I came up with the idea that I wanted a kid.” Justin laughed, indicating not to take this too earnestly.

“Yeah, right. After what I’ve just seen, Brian adores them. And the feelings seem to be mutual.”

“You’re not wrong. They both soak up Brian’s love and no matter how much of it Brian bestows upon them, it never seems enough. It’s been like this from the very beginning. That’s why Emma will hold still for him, and Alex will put down her beloved books for him. They crave his attention. Like father, like daughters, Brian often jokes.” Justin gave a laugh and she smiled in return. Then Justin turned to lead her into his studio.

Justin showed her his most recent works first; a series of darker abstracts but each one of them with a contrasting highlight that caught the observer’s eye.

He then moved into his walk-in storage room where he kept his finished and already dry paintings. He pulled the smaller pieces out first and held his breath, awaiting Arianna’s judgment. Those were the pieces he was fighting with Peyton about because Justin wanted them shown. They were all sorts of styles, ranging from abstract color studies in oil to some shadow and light pieces done in acrylic.

“They’re breathtaking, Justin. Why haven’t you shown them yet?” Arianna asked, noticing the date on some of the paintings.

Justin chose not to answer that directly, so he said, “I want to, now.” And deciding to be as open with her as he dared, he added “I’ll sign with you if you can get them shown anywhere.”

Arianna was taken aback by the defeated tone in his voice. He sounded almost desperate. She gawked at Justin in surprise for a few moments before nodding enthusiastically. “Absolutely. Consider it done.” Then she couldn’t restrain herself and flung her body at Justin, hugging the stuffing out of him.

Justin laughed and hugged her back. In a very short span of time she had become more a friend than a business associate so he didn’t have any second thoughts about it.

The next few hours were spent talking and planning and when Arianna finally left, Justin had a very satisfied smile on his face. Then he remembered that he would have to call Peyton soon and his happy mood was dampened a little. But he decided not to dwell on it since he had to get ready for dinner with the Cuylens.

  


>>><<<

 

  
The Cuylens were an old-fashioned family with old-fashioned beliefs. Not in the sense of being judgmental towards people who deviated from the norm but in the way of their thinking. They valued virtues like honesty, modesty, a sense of responsibility, and family bonds, and tried to teach their only child, a daughter of nineteen years of age, exactly this. 

Brian had met the head of the company, CEO Albert Cuylen, several times during their initial meetings while trying to get a feel for the creative aspect of the work process and to gauge the compatibility of ideas. Albert Cuylen had inherited the family business from his grandfather who founded the company in the early forties. It was an indication of Albert Cuylen’s business sense and intelligence that he was able to navigate the family business through all the political and economical changes in the last couple of decades, while at the same time expanding it into an international market. Brian assessed him to be disciplined and hard-working. A man with a clear direction and little tolerance for mistakes or procrastination. He was a simple man by anyone’s standards but didn’t appreciate false modesty and flattery. Brian wasn’t sure if his sexuality was what had kept the Cuylen representatives from seeking out Kinnetik’s advertising services for so long.

For that reason, Brian was very appreciative about tonight’s dinner invitation. He wouldn’t however hide who he was or change anything in his demeanor towards Justin just for the sake of the Cuylen family. Even though the contracts were yet to be signed on Wednesday.

Brian and Justin arrived on time in the restaurant and let the waiter escort them to the Cuylen table. Brian shook hands with Albert and waited for the man to introduce his wife, Laura, and their daughter, Geneviève, before shaking their hands too. He then looked at Justin and introduced him as his partner, all the while keeping his left hand on the small of Justin’s back. Justin was always nervous when he met Brian’s clients because he was apprehensive of the reaction when it came to their age difference.

They all took their seats finally and Brian engaged in some small talk concerning the restaurant, the hotel the Cuylens were staying in, and the traffic when getting here – nothing of big importance; which left him enough time and opportunity for a close examination of the Cuylen women. Laura had an honest and pretty face that she bequeathed upon her daughter. Geneviève, though very pretty, didn’t fit the model figures advertised everywhere. She was of a slightly larger built and very shy, as far as Brian could tell. She kept her eyes mostly on the table-cloth, getting very pink in the cheeks when she was addressed directly and required to answer a question. She wouldn’t hold eye contact for more than a second. But she had a beautiful melodic voice, Brian noted, and guessed she’d make a wonderful singer. He also noticed that from time to time, when she felt herself unwatched, she would fix Justin with an intense stare that Brian couldn’t read completely. Justin noticed it too, and sent her a warm and contagious smile, making her blush even more.

The table talk turned to the Cuylen family business and its very beginnings. Albert recounted the story that led to the founding of Cuylen Automobiles. Brian and Justin laughed in all the appropriate places and found themselves actually enjoying Mr. Cuylen’s storytelling skills. Laura admitted to not possessing any business sense of her own, but she was a very devoted wife who obviously adored her husband and was happy with her role in the small family. She possessed a natural curiosity and a general interest in people which made her a good listener and advisor. Brian guessed when it came to assessing people’s characters, Mr. Cuylen relied heavily on his wife, and wondered if this was the reason Albert wanted Brian to meet his family.

Justin let Brian do most of the talking since the topic stayed on their business relations. He had liked the Cuylens almost instantly but was a little bit uneasy because Geneviève kept glancing in his direction with a curious look on her face Justin wasn’t too sure what to make of. He also noticed the surprise in the Cuylen’s expressions when Brian and he neared their table. He knew they wondered about the age difference. It was a look Justin was only too familiar with, one that he had encountered several times when escorting Brian to company functions or client meetings. One thing he had to give the Cuylens credit for, however, was that they didn’t seem to think less of him because of his youth. He often experienced people treating him like a stupid child, imposing the role of an extended piece of Brian’s attire on him. Honestly, what pissed him off most about those people was the fact that they weren’t offending him by their behavior, but that they were insulting Brian’s judgment. The curiosity he sensed from the Cuylens was purely benevolent though and Justin tried to relax a little. He was however a little intimidated by how important this client would be for Kinnetik.

When the talk turned to more personal issues, Laura finally seized her chance and addressed Justin. “Justin, what is it that you do for a living?”

Brian leaned back in his chair a little; ready to let Justin do most of the talking for now.

“I’m an artist.” Justin replied simply and waited for the questions that usually followed after this statement.

“What medium?” Laura asked back.

“A little bit of everything actually. I used to prefer to draw but now I mostly paint. Acrylic, and more recently oil. I also experiment with computer graphics and dabble in comic illustrations.”

Geneviève raised her head at that and looked at Justin before directing her gaze back to her plate quickly.

“That sounds exciting. I guess with this range of talents you won’t get bored. I’m afraid I don’t know much about art other than liking to look at it.”

Justin smiled warmly. “I didn’t know much about art either before I went to college. I just had the urge to draw. And paint. Everything that I saw I needed to put on paper.”

“You studied art in college then?” Albert asked politely.

“Yes. Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts. But to be honest, I didn’t get a degree.”

“Why not? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“He went to Hollywood to work on a movie based on his comic book.” All eyes turned to Geneviève whose face grew even redder. She looked up quickly, muttered “I’m sorry” and went back to stare at her fork.

“Why should you be?” Justin replied, smiling at her. “It’s true. Not many people know though. You read _Rage_?” Justin asked her, hoping to engage her in the conversation and interested in where she might have gotten this bit of information.

“Yes. My… my friend introduced me to it. She’s…,” Geneviève cleared her throat. “She’s a huge fan. She knows everything when it comes to _Rage_. That they tried to make a movie of it, and… other stuff.” She broke off.

Her parents seemed just as surprised as Justin at this explanation, though for different reasons.

“You made it sound like you were just dabbling in the comic graphics business. Now it turns out you’re famous.” Albert and Laura laughed appreciatively. “What is it about?”

Now it was Justin’s turn to blush. While he was searching for the right words, Brian jumped in and explained.

“I’m afraid it’s not family friendly entertainment. It’s based on a gay superhero.” Brian explained.

Justin smiled conciliatory. Laura’s cheeks took on some color as well but she smiled brightly nevertheless. “Well, we’re all adults here, right?” She said and Justin smiled gratefully.

He turned to Geneviève again because something she said caught his attention. “What other stuff?” He asked.

She looked up at him and for once, didn’t immediately look away. Though she squirmed in her seat a little. “About the… ehm… the accident.”

Justin’s eyes widened slightly when he realized what Geneviève was talking about. He smiled again at her to signal it was alright and she smiled back for the first time that evening.

“Oh, my husband told me all about it. You were in a car accident only a month ago, weren’t you? He said that was why you had to cancel the meeting, Mr. Kinney.” Then, directing the question at Justin, she asked, “Are you alright now? Were you hurt badly?”

Brian answered before Justin had a chance to. “Yes, Mrs. Cuylen, Justin was in a car accident last month. He needed brain surgery but he’s fine now. This wasn’t the accident your daughter was referring to however.”

“Oh?” Laura was obviously confused now.

Brian looked to Justin at that and Justin gave a small, sad smile. Laura picked up on the sudden change in atmosphere and added, “I’m sorry to have brought it up. It’s of course none of our business.”

“It’s fine. Really. The truth is, I was bashed at my prom. Someone hit me in the head with a baseball bat because I dared to dance with the man I was in love with. My business partner and I retold what happened to me in our comic book. That’s what your daughter was referring to.”

“Oh, my God. That’s terrible.” Laura exclaimed in honest outrage. “I don’t understand why someone would do something like that.”

“Have they caught the one who did it?” Albert inquired.

“Yes. But he got away with community service.”

“That’s sad.” Laura voiced. “Were there no witnesses?”

“None that mattered. And by that I mean none that weren’t gay.” Brian replied with a bitter undertone. Justin heard the pain in his voice and extended his left arm to stroke his thigh and squeezed it lightly. Brian leaned over and pressed warm lips against Justin’s temple in exchange for the offered comfort.

“You?” Laura asked in surprise.

Brian nodded.

“How long have you known each other?” Laura asked, doing the math in her head.

“Something over ten years.” Justin answered for Brian. “Though it does seem like only yesterday.”

“It always will.” Albert agreed sending a loving look towards his wife who blushed beautifully. “Time fucking flies. Forgive me the expression.” Everyone at the table laughed at the slip-up. “Wait till your children start making decisions for themselves. That’s when you’ll start to wonder ‘when the heck did that happen?’” He laughed and asked. “Do you two have children?”

“I have a son who lives with his mothers in Canada. He turned ten this year. And Justin and I are raising his two beautiful twin daughters. They’re only fifteen months old.”

“They weren’t in the car with you, were they, when you had your accident?” Laura asked concerned.

“No. Thankfully, not. I was alone in the car. I honestly don’t want to think about the alternative.”

The rest of the evening was spent talking about child seat security, a car’s safety features, Justin’s need for a new car, and Britin, which led Brian to explain how they came to move to West Virginia. Laura seemed to love the story which appealed to the romantic in her. And Albert felt much safer entrusting his business to Brian, knowing that the man had his priorities right when it came to business and families. Though he hadn’t known what to make of Justin’s youth at first, he came to realize that, at least in this relationship, age was not an issue. And seeing that they were still together after ten years made him even more secure in his decision. You didn’t stay with a person for ten years and _not_ know how to work out problems. After meeting Justin, and watching Brian and Justin together, Albert thought how lucky he was to have come knocking on Kinnetik’s door, despite his counselors advising otherwise. Nobody seemed better fit to represent their family business than Brian Kinney.

Before they said their goodbyes, Geneviève finally worked up the courage to ask Justin for an autograph for her and her friend. Justin complied happily and kissed her cheek, making the young woman blush furiously, before taking Brian’s offered hand and leaving the restaurant.


	18. Chapter 18

Present, November 2010

“Mom, can you take the girls tonight? I realize it’s on a very short notice but if you could take them I’d be forever grateful.”

“Planning a night out, honey?”

“More like a night in.” Justin answered, trying to hide a smirk.

“Oh. Okay. Please don’t elaborate.” Jennifer said, blushing. “Sure, Justin, we’d be delighted to have the twins spend the night. Will you bring them around or do you want me to pick them up?”

“I’ll bring them around. Is it ok if we come by in about an hour?”

“Sure. See you soon.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime, darling.”

Justin quickly checked that the bag he and Brian always kept stacked, ready for the taking, was still equipped with all the necessities Jennifer would need for a night with the twins. He grabbed some books for Alex as well as Emma’s favorite toy – a stuffed rabbit with ridiculously long grey ears – and went to change and dress the twins.

He drove carefully to the house Jennifer and Tucker had moved into a couple of years ago. Since the accident Justin was driving a rental car because Brian and he hadn’t come around yet to decide on a new one. The blond’s mind repeatedly drifted off to the events earlier that day. Brian and he had finally found the time to see the doctor and get tested. It felt strange that the thirty minutes they spent in the doctor’s office, while waiting for the test results, should have such an impact on their lives. And now that the day Justin had thought of for so long was finally here, all he could think about was how fucking easy it all had been. He thought back on a time when fucking raw would have kept his mind from focusing on anything else. When his teenager self would think up elaborate plans that ended with Brian declaring his undying love and professing monogamy in all eternity. When the thought of Brian’s dick sliding inside his body, unsheathed, would give him a hard-on that would refuse to go away for hours. As life turned out, time was everything they’d ever needed to get there. Somewhere along the lines they had gotten so busy working on keeping the relationship going – navigating through long distances, running two businesses, establishing a career in the art world, moving back to Pittsburgh, becoming parents, and changing diapers – that Justin completely forgot to trick. The thought that Brian would go through the same process never even occurred to him.

Some fifty miles away, Brian also found it hard to concentrate on the boards in front of him. Ever since he came back from the doctor’s office on his lunch break, Brian couldn’t focus on anything but a certain blond. He decided to leave the marking up of the boards for tomorrow, asked Lauren to confirm the Cuylen meeting for the following day, and hurried home.

 

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“How do you want to do it?” Brian asked. 

He had arrived home mere five minutes ago, gone straight to the kitchen where he heard Justin hum along to the sounds of the radio, leaving his briefcase beside the door. Without so much as a greeting, he had wrapped his arms around the smaller form from behind and had stood there, just breathing him in. He could smell the gingery shower gel and fruity shampoo which told him Justin must have taken a shower not long ago. The scent combined with the warmth of Justin’s body had made Brian let out a deep sigh. When he felt Justin move his hips slightly, rubbing his plush ass against Brian’s growing erection, he’d finally spoken for the first time since coming home.

“I don’t need a show, Brian. I don’t _want_ a show. I want it to just be us. You and me. The way it has always been.”

 _Us_. The thrill that ran through Brian’s body whenever Justin would refer to them as _us_ had lost nothing of its magic. Back in the days this small word would scare the hell out of him. It made him feel confined and unable to breathe, made him long for the time when there was no _us_. When there was only a _me_. But that was before he got his wish. What he didn’t take into consideration at that time was that the _me_ after having known the _us_ turned out to be utterly different. Alone suddenly had equaled lonely. A clean and tidy loft had equaled emptiness. And quiet and silence had made the screaming voices in his head so much louder. How could something as simple as an _us_ carry all the meaning in the world? Be the difference between thirty years spent convincing himself he had everything he wanted, and a lifetime of bliss stretching before him? Fuck. And all it took to turn a _me_ into an _us_ was an unrelenting blond schoolboy. Brian tightened the hold he had around his blond.

“Just let’s go to bed, Brian. Okay?” Justin’s voice brought Brian’s musings to a halt.

“Okay. Let me shower first?”

“Sure. I’ll finish up here and come upstairs.”

Justin turned around in Brian’s embrace, kissed the brunet’s lips softly, and watched him go upstairs.

  


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Brian’s skin was still damp as he walked into the master bedroom. Justin stood watching in the door frame as Brian dried himself after his shower. The blond crossed the room, shedding his clothes as he walked over to his partner. He took the towel from the taller man’s hands, throwing it in the direction of the bathroom. Justin pressed his lips under Brian’s pecs and gathered the few water droplets Brian had missed with his tongue. The heat that emanated from his skin made Justin’s head feel dizzy and he pressed his lips firmly against the smooth surface. 

The suction made Brian’s knees wobble and he had to grab the bedpost with one hand while he sank his other fist into Justin’s strands. The blond let his lips travel up to Brian’s collarbone and bit lightly, eliciting a groan from the brunet. He placed his palms on the taller man’s abs and pushed until Brian fell onto the mattress and lay on the bed. Justin quickly straddled his legs and felt an excited shiver spread through his body at having this man underneath him, feeling the muscles of the brunet’s strong legs quiver slightly on the insides of his thighs. He’d hoped, but seldom imagined, what it would be like to want the same person for years and years. A decade came and went and feeling Brian’s skin under his fingertips, looking into the hazel eyes while tasting the unique flavor, had lost nothing of its magic. If anything, time had made him hate the hours spent apart with even more fervent passion. Touching Brian and being touched by him had become a luxury that Justin allowed himself to indulge in every chance he got, his crave for the man never diminishing. The blond let his lips work their way to Brian’s painfully hard cock, stopping only to tease his navel.

He thrust his tongue inside the bellybutton before nibbling around it and moving further down towards his goal. Justin let the tip of his nose lightly run the length of Brian’s erection from the base to the head, enjoying the scent that, despite the shower, was purely Brian. He then circled the base of the cock with his tongue and sucked both balls into his hot mouth. Brian bucked his hips underneath the blond as the talented tongue traced the seam separating them. Justin let them slip from his mouth and sucked very lightly on the wrinkly skin until Brian growled in frustration. Smiling, Justin moved over Brian’s cock head and blew a stream of cool air across the glistening tip. Brian was about to grab the blond’s head and direct his stiff member between the luscious lips of the artist, when Justin turned and instead started to suck on the sensitive skin in the crease between the thigh and perineum. Justin felt the blood draw up to the surface and let go to admire his handiwork. He needed to mark Brian, needed to imprint this day onto his very body, into his very skin.

Apparently fed up with just being the instrument of Justin’s pleasure plays, Brian pulled Justin gently upwards by his hair and rolled both of them over. He moved off of the blond’s body and Justin was about to protest when Brian turned around and without any preamble straddled Justin’s chest and enveloped his cock with his lips.

Justin’s attention was temporarily diverted from the beautiful sight before him that the sudden move provided him with. The warmth and wetness of Brian’s mouth gave him the rest as he gasped out his pleasure in silent moans. The brunet’s tongue pushed repeatedly against the most sensitive spot and Justin couldn’t help releasing a loud groan. He tried to catch a breath to clear his clouded mind for fear it would be over before it really began. Releasing another moan when Brian swished his tongue around the head of his cock and sucked hard, Justin scooted closer to Brian’s pelvis. Instead of pulling Brian’s dick inside his mouth, he resumed his previous activities and sucked on the same spot in the crease of the brunet’s leg before finally taking the dripping member inside.

Brian gave a relieved moan when he felt Justin’s hot mouth around his throbbing hardness. His own lips still around Justin’s stiff member, the sound reverberated through the blond’s body. Justin arched his back and clasped his lips tighter around Brian’s hard length and let his tongue wander around the smooth tip. The wet and soft roughness of Justin’s tongue on the sensitive area made the taller man moan even more. He almost forgot his own lips around the blond’s hardness when Justin’s tongue stroked a hot wet line up to his entrance. Brian felt Justin pull him apart as only a second later the talented tongue circled Brian’s tightly clenched hole. Remembering his own task, Brian started to lick Justin’s shaft in time with the artist’s actions.

Justin licked around the rim in endless circles while enjoying Brian’s tongue circling the rim of his cock head at the same time. When he couldn’t take the torturing motion any longer, Justin pushed the pointed tip of his tongue between the wrinkly folds, tasting Brian’s essence. His eyes rolled back not only at the exquisite tang but also because Brian imitated the action by pushing his tongue against Justin’s slit. His dick throbbed in response and Justin couldn’t help but bite gently down on the creased skin surrounding Brian’s opening. Feeling the teeth of the blond, Brian groaned and retaliated by scraping his softly along the rigid length. Justin nipped and nibbled before soothing with a caress of his rough tongue. Wanting to mark Brian there as well, he wrapped his lips around the softened entrance and sucked hard, moaning into the skin when the same action was performed on his painfully erect cock but never letting up on the intensity of his sucking motion.

The brunet grew impatient to move the show to the main act and reached for the bottle of lube on the nightstand. Never letting up on sucking Justin’s continuously leaking member, he lubed a couple of fingers and pushed one into Justin’s quivering hole. Teasing the blond for a couple of seconds, Brian pushed in another digit and started fucking his lover in time with his sucking motion. Justin thrashed and tried to buck his hips but Brian pushed him firmly into the mattress with his free hand on the blond’s hip. He pushed a third finger inside the squirming blond and twisted them until Justin almost screamed.

“Don’t make me… oh fuck… come, Brian.” The blond panted. “I want to come with you… aahhh… with you… inside me.”

“You will.” Brian assured him, releasing Justin’s cock. “This is just to take the edge off.”

Justin panted through the wave of sensations that swept his mind and threatened to overpower him. He was almost inclined to give into Brian’s ministrations but managed to restrain himself in the last second.

“No! Stop, Brian! Hmmm…” Justin was momentarily distracted by Brian’s humming around his erection before managing to pull himself together. “No! Stop!”

Brian finally reacted to Justin’s protests and let go of the blond’s straining cock. He lifted his head and turned to look at his lover’s flushed face. “Why?”

Eyes closed, Justin gasped in an effort to restore some sort of power over himself before answering. “Don’t want to wait… any longer.” He finally pressed out.

Justin reached for the lube, pushed Brian onto his back, and straddled his lover again. He moved his hips until he felt Brian’s erection poking him and reached around himself to spread his ass cheeks. He felt the tip of the brunet’s cock against his opening and moved up and down to let the hard pole slide back and forth in his crack, teasing Brian. Knowing that in just a few moments this very cock head would be sliding into his body made a shiver run up his spine. Pressing his lips to Brian’s, Justin let his tongue invade the welcoming mouth as he pressed the bottle into the taller man’s hand.

Brian took his cue and rolled both of them over again. He squeezed a good dollop onto his fingers and positioned himself between Justin’s opened legs. The blond spread wider and lifted his hips to grant Brian better access. The older man lubed himself thoroughly before smearing the remainder of the lubricant in his palm onto the offered opening. The brunet let the tip of his cock slide along Justin’s crack, brushing the puckered hole, smearing pre-cum and lube over the soft folds. He felt almost nauseous when reality hit him. Goosebumps erupted all over his body. This was no teasing game they would occasionally indulge in when adequately buzzed. He was actually about to slide inside his lover of ten years with no barrier in between. Brian surrendered to the slight shaking that took possession of his body and made his fingers tremble as they caressed creamy, soft skin.

Noting Brian’s hesitation, Justin reached with both hands for the beloved face and let his tongue slide into the taller man’s mouth. Justin felt hot all over, skin flushed, raw nerves sending tiny electroshocks to his muddled brain whenever and wherever his heated skin came in contact with Brian’s. Something wild, and primal, and blindingly white shot through his veins, flooding him with lava-like heat. His lips felt as equally raw as his nerves, burning under the hard softness of his lover’s. He couldn’t help the moans that formed in the back of his throat and were swallowed by Brian’s hungry lips before they had a chance to escape. Justin moved his hips a little, wrapping his legs around the taller man’s hips and pushed against Brian’s rock hard erection resting comfortably on his entrance.

Brian finally released the blond’s lips and pushed carefully, feeling the muscles stretch and give at his insistence, granting him access, enveloping the tip of his cock. He desperately clung to the last shreds of his self-control, refraining himself from just slamming inside. After a couple of gasping breaths, Brian opened his eyes and stared into crystal clear, deep blue orbs full of love, trust, and wanton lust. Brian slid slowly further inside, just another inch, indescribable hotness welcoming him. Holding still for a second before sliding back out until just the cock of his head was embedded within the blond. Stretching him with his widest part, Brian revelled at the intense feeling as tremors ran through the artist’s body. He slid in and out again and again, never more than an inch. There were other times when he would do this to tease the blond, to make him beg, to make him scream his name and order Brian to fuck him already. This, however, wasn’t about teasing. This was something different entirely. He broke contact with the intense blue eyes and directed his vision downwards, complete and utter wonderment reflected on his face.

Brian couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight before him. Watching himself pushing in and out of his lover, with nothing in between them. Skin on skin. Justin, in turn, couldn’t tear his eyes away from the expression on the older man’s face. He looked fragile all of a sudden and Justin reached with his hand to touch his face again. Sinking the fingertips in his hair, and laying his palm against his cheek , stroking the brunet’s cheekbone with his thumb. The touch seemed to pull Brian out of his reverie and he looked up, locking his eyes on Justin’s once more.

Brian pulled Justin’s hand from his face, placed a tender kiss into the open palm, and directed it to his cock. Under the guidance of his lover, the blond’s fingers traced the rim of his own opening, where their bodies connected. Brian moved inside his partner and Justin relished the double sensation of Brian filling him and the silky hardness of Brian’s cock gliding along past his fingertips.

“Do you _feel_ this?” the brunet whispered in awe. “Can you feel _us_?”

The essence of Brian, pure and unfiltered, enveloped each and every one of Justin’s senses. He felt him beside, above, inside, and all around him. Looking into Brian’s face and seeing nothing in those hazel eyes but undiluted and never ending devotion, Justin’s eyelids fluttered as his eyes threatened to roll back into his head from the vastness of all the sensations. He squeezed his eyes shut in an effort not to pass out.

“No. Open your eyes. I want you to see it all.”

Brian held still as he watched the blond slowly re-emerge from whatever depth he’d been drowned by. The deep blue eyes opened again and focused on his. Holding their gaze, Brian slid inside completely, holding still for a moment before he began thrusting in earnest.

“I love you. So fucking goddamn much.” The blond gasped between thrusts.

With the power of speech leaving him completely, Brian could only touch their foreheads and let go. He abandoned all willpower and control and just let all of him go and allowed to be swept away. Breaking through the thin fabric of reality, Brian soared in a sphere where only Justin’s body existed. Pressing against the blond’s resistance on every in-thrust, Brian’s eyes rolled back as his dick stroked against the hot and constricting walls of Justin’s passage. Never being a man of vocal lovemaking, he felt almost ridiculous as he couldn’t quell the moans that were coming in a steady torrent out his throat. He bit down on Justin’s shoulder in an attempt to stifle the stream of sounds. Every nerve in his body felt frazzled and hypersensitive. He moved completely on autopilot; the many different feelings felt like an enormous electric surge running wild in his body, short-circuiting every sensation into one giant ball of energy, seeking the vent for its release.

Brian’s hips jerked in uncontrolled spasms and, for the life of him, he couldn’t stop as he felt himself coating the walls of Justin’s tight channel, the creamy liquid smoothing his frenzied thrusts. How utterly different this sensations felt compared to filling a condom! Only a moment later he felt his lover arch violently off the bed. Mouth open in a silent cry and both hands digging painfully into Brian’s shoulders, he watched as the blond spilled his seed between their bodies. After a few minutes the straining tension left both their bodies and they collapsed onto the bed, Brian burying Justin underneath him. Allowing himself a minute’s rest, he made to move himself off of the blond but Justin clamped his arms tighter around the strong shoulders and refused to let go. Brian was about to protest when he realized there was really no need for him to disentangle himself from his lover. He smiled against the blond’s neck as the realization hit.

“Exactly,” Justin muttered, reading his thoughts. He sighed, happy and completely sated.

They must have fallen asleep after that because the next thing Justin remembered was waking up, squished under the heavy weight of a dozing Brian. The older man must have slipped out of him sometime during their nap. Legs entangled, the auburn haired head resting comfortably on Justin’s chest. Justin gently laced his fingers through the silky strands while allowing his mind to relive the events of the last hours. He still couldn’t believe that, despite his expectations, his imagination didn’t even come close to the reality of it all.

“What’s making the wheels turn?” Brian asked without making any move to lift himself from the blond.

“Artistic deficits.” Justin replied cryptically and laughed.

Brian was about to dug deeper but Justin pushed the taller frame off of himself and rolled both of them over. Without further warning, he positioned himself above the brunet and began rubbing their groins together. Brian released a gasp and accepted Justin’s searching tongue, diving deep with his own.

The blond couldn’t get enough of his lover’s lips. It was as though fucking raw had brought a whole new level of intimacy to their kissing. He finally forced himself to let go of the bruised and deep red mouth, his own lips throbbing from all the biting and sucking. Justin’s gaze travelled across the taller man’s body and he took inventory of all their passionate lovemaking. He saw the scratches on and around Brian’s shoulders where he had sunk his fingernails; the love bites and hickeys on his neck and in the fold of his leg near the groin, and one just under his left collarbone; a few bruises around his ribcage and on his thighs where he clung to him in ecstasy. He saw Brian grow hard under his gaze. This man was a work of art. Justin wondered how one man’s body could make him feel so much, want so much? He locked eyes with the man beside him and got his answer in the steady and open gaze.

“You’re not going to run off to paint, are you?” Brian asked with a smirk when the inspection was over.

Justin slapped his stomach playfully and positioned himself again above Brian’s crotch. He lifted himself on his knees and let his hips sink down, taking Brian’s stiff member unceremoniously inside. The sudden move made Brian’s head lift from the pillow and he groaned loudly.

“I thought,” the brunet pressed out, “you’d want to—“

“Later.” Justin said.

Brian only nodded. They’d have a lot of _later_ and more than enough opportunities to experience the respective other side of their new commitment. Right now, the only thing he wanted to focus on was Justin moving above him, taking him so fucking deep with nothing but Brian’s own cum from the earlier session lubing the passage. The thought turned Brian on more than he ever thought possible.

Justin rose up high on his knees before slamming down hard on his lover. He entwined his fingers with the brunet’s and pushed their joined hands into the mattress with all his weight, using them as a leverage to increase the speed of his almost violent thrusts. Brian released one of his arms and grabbed Justin around his middle. He rose into a sitting position with Justin still moving frantically in his lap. He could feel his earlier outpour drip out of his lover and slide down his balls. Gripping the headboard behind him to keep himself upright, he jerked his hips to meet every of Justin’s movements, pulling the blond forcefully down onto his steel hard shaft with one arm still around the artist’s middle.

Justin impaled himself incredibly deeper on Brian with every slam down, the neck breaking speed making him clench involuntarily. He took hold of his bouncing cock and felt it swell in his hand. Knowing that he was only seconds from erupting, the blond worked himself into a trance until he threw back his head and, with a groan, gave himself over to the thought-stopping sensations that rolled over his whole body. Even through his post-orgasmic stupor he could feel Brian grabbing a firm hold on him as he rolled them both around. Ignoring the blond’s body’s request for rest, Brian kept up the speed of his jabs, never allowing Justin’s cock to soften completely, until he was hard as a rock again.

Justin’s throat felt hoarse from all the screaming as Brian kept fucking him through the hypersensitivity despite the blond’s, admittedly half-hearted, protests. He felt heady from all the shallow panting, not being able to take a deep breath. Justin sank his teeth into Brian’s throat and didn’t care if he broke skin. He felt close to fainting and grabbed a fistful of Brian’s hair. He pulled the brunet’s head back vigorously, the sharp pain jerking the older man from his frenzy. Justin pulled his head into a kiss, their mouths clashing and bruising.

Violating Justin’s mouth with his tongue, Brian suddenly stopped all movement and pulled out. Pressing their foreheads together, Brian panted heavily, sharing Justin’s breath. He then stared into his lover’s eyes, allowing himself to drown in them for a moment. Brian pulled away and lowered himself onto the bed beside Justin, rolling onto his stomach.

Justin scrambled into a sitting position and hastily pushed Brian’s legs apart using his own knees. His heart was still drumming up a wild beat and he knew that neither of them had the patience for a slow preparation. The blond grabbed the previously discarded bottle of lube and squirted some onto his dick. Another generous dollop was squeezed directly onto Brian’s tightly clenched hole. Justin tried to push some of it inside his lover’s channel with his fingers. But Brian’s urgency and eagerness made him abandon his plan quickly. He lined up his cock to Brian’s opening and pushed inside. As he expected, he had to use more force to press himself into the too tight channel. Brian pushed back against him and finally Justin slipped inside, an earth-shattering and primal groan ripped itself free from Brian’s lips. Justin didn’t even allow himself the time to get a feel for Brian with no barriers and picked up the frantic speed of their previous movements. He forced himself past any of Brian’s initial resistance and began moving in and out.

Brian pushed his face into the pillow beneath him and bit down hard on the fabric as the intensity of the pain made white spots appear in his peripheral vision. Still, he didn’t want Justin to slow down and grunted his appreciation when the blond set an equally rapid pace as Brian did before. He never thought having Justin inside him could feel like this. His jaw hung open as he felt the hotness of Justin’s cock from inside and he was grateful the blond couldn’t see his face. Burying deeper into the pillow, he felt the blond probe his prostate and couldn’t help but arch off the bed. His hand flew around to Justin’s leg and he sank his nails into the straining thigh muscles.

Justin only increased the speed of his thrusts and made sure to hit that very same spot over and over again, not allowing Brian’s body to sink back into the mattress.

The brunet hung almost suspended in the air, his whole upper body supported only by one arm. The student surpassing the master, Brian surrendered to his body’s needs and poured his juices without him or Justin touching his straining cock. Just as the brunet thought, he had reached nirvana, he felt the blond shoot his load and felt the heat spread itself within him, burning him from the inside.

As they collapsed onto the bed, Justin atop him, Brian’s only regret was not giving into Justin’s idea of doing it raw years ago.


	19. Chapter 19

Present, December 2010

Justin hurried to answer the door when the bell rang.

“A delivery for Mr. Justin Taylor.” A well-dressed man in a pinstriped suit greeted him, smiling in a polite yet stiff manner.

“I’m Justin Taylor.” Justin replied hesitantly. He wasn’t expecting any package.

“Good morning, Sir. My name is Jason Gilmore. I’m with the customer service at Cuylen Automobiles. Maybe you want to step outside for a minute to get acquainted with your new vehicle?”

“What vehicle?” Justin was perfectly confused. “I didn’t order… Did Brian…? I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“The order was commissioned by Mr. Cuylen himself and, as it states here, is to be delivered today to Mr. Justin Taylor, residing at this address.” At that, Mr. Gilmore stepped aside to give Justin the opportunity to have a look at his supposedly new car.

Justin caught sight of the new shiny compact limousine parked in front of the garage, sparkling in the bright morning sun in the most exquisite color Justin had ever seen on a car: A deep chocolate brown with a metallic, but strangely warm, shine to it.

“The color, as you see, is quite… unusual,” was the word Mr. Gilmore finally settled on, “but Mr. Cuylen told me you were an artist and would appreciate something eccentric. You’re free to pick another, of course, should you not find it to your liking.”

“No.” Justin immediately objected, becoming quickly enamored with this shiny new toy that was supposed to be _his_? “You said Mr. Cuylen himself commissioned it? Did he say anything else?”

“I was given instructions to deliver the vehicle only this morning. I’m afraid I can’t tell you the whole story. But from what I understand, Mr. Cuylen thought you were in need of a new car?” Justin nodded at that, and Mr. Gilmore continued. “Mr. Cuylen took it upon himself to arrange some of the additional features to be installed based on what he assumed you would need. It is up to you to modify the equipment further to your individual liking.”

Mr. Gilmore motioned towards the car and Justin called inside to let Trish know he stepped out for a moment. He followed the gentleman to the vehicle and tried to listen carefully as Mr. Gilmore explained the amenities to him.

“The back of the car is equipped with two child seats, custom made to fit a Cuylen limousine. They’re adjustable and will grow with the child. They have been modified to fit a child between twelve and eighteen months of age for now and will need to be adjusted in predefined periods of time. Your service contact will let you know when the next adjustment is due and will arrange an appointment with a technician or guide you through the process to do it yourself. It’s quite simple, really.”

Justin listened, jaw slack.

“The backseat of your car can be retracted to expand the trunk compartment. All you need to do is activate this button right here.” Mr. Gilmore demonstrated and Justin watched in amazement as the back rest of the seat folded in on itself and sunk further into the bottom creating a smooth loading surface. “You can also cut off the back of the car from the driver’s area with a partition panel. There are two separate sound systems for the back and the front of the car. The back of the front seats are equipped with flat screens which can operate separate from one another or connected to play the same program. The space underneath the passenger seat was constructed to accommodate a small refrigerator which you can access through pushing on this button.” Mr. Gilmore continued unperturbed.

Justin stared with a blank expression as the man carried on with his presentation, nodding in appropriate places. Too overwhelmed to say anything, Justin could only shake his head when, after finishing his presentation, Mr. Gilmore asked if Justin had any further questions he could help him with. When he finally left, Justin went back inside and made it immediately for the phone. He called Brian and waited for his partner to pick up.

“Brian, did you order a Cuylen limousine?” He didn’t waste time with greetings.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you? I thought we hadn’t decided on a car yet. Did you order one for me?” He asked again.

“Justin, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about the fucking future-K.I.T.T. in our driveway that was delivered just now.” Justin explained in a high-pitched tone.

“A Cuylen limousine?”

“Yes!” A slightly hysterical tone colored his voice now.

“Okay, first, stop with the screeching. I can’t hear sounds above a certain frequency range. Second, I didn’t order a car, Sunshine.”

“Then who did?”

“Did you ask the delivery guy?” Brian reasoned.

“Yes.”

“And?” Brian was losing his patience.

“He said that Albert Cuylen himself commissioned the car to be delivered to a Mr. Justin Taylor.”

“Well, there you have it.”

“There I have _what_?” The hysterical undertone wasn’t quite ‘under’ anymore.

“I’m going to go out on a limp here and say the Cuylens gave you a car.” Brian suggested, slightly amused by the queening out.

“To do what?”

“I guess you could use it as a prop in a porn video if you wanted to but I’d suggest you drive it.”

“It’s a fucking expensive car.” Justin said, calmer now.

“If they can afford Kinnetik, they probably can afford to give away one car.”

“But why?” Justin asked.

“Maybe they liked you?” Brian suggested.

“Okay. But why give me a car?”

“I believe they have more than enough of those. Light up. I’ll call Albert and talk to him. We just had a meeting, signed the contracts. He never said a word.”

“Thank you. Call me later?”

“Later.” Brian agreed.

What a drama princess, Brian thought. He asked Lauren to get Albert on the phone.

“Mr. Cuylen is holding on line one, Mr. Kinney.” She announced a few minutes later.

“Mr. Cuylen. Thank you for taking my call.”

“Did we forget something?” Albert inquired referring to the meeting a few hours earlier.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just talked to Justin. He received your very generous gift and was a little stunned, to put it mildly.”

“Oh, yes. I assumed he would be.” Albert chuckled. “He’s a modest young man.”

“You say that because you don’t have to sustain his costly lifestyle.” Brian joked. Despite leaving New York, Justin was making almost twice as much with his art as Brian did with Kinnetik. Though he realized that he was being vain, Brian was still grateful for the decision to buy Babylon years ago, which helped even the score between the two of them.

“My wife and I were very moved by his story. He’s a remarkable young man. You have two little girls who deserve the safest transportation available. I’m happy to supply you with one of the best on the market. Besides, now that you’re working our advertising, it’s only fitting you should have a test product.”

Brian listened and smiled when Albert Cuylen finished his little speech. “Well, Mr. Cuylen, I thank you for your generosity. And Justin thanks you, too.”

“You’re very welcome, Mr. Kinney. Good day to you.”

“Goodbye Mr. Cuylen.”

Brian disconnected the call and dialed Britin’s landline.

“Brian?”

“Calm down, Sunshine. Why don’t you pick up Alex and Emma and take your new car for a test drive. We can have lunch together.”

“The diner?” Justin asked hopefully.

“God, you’re cheap. I suggest lunch and the best you can come up with is the diner?”

“I haven’t seen Debbie since the hospital and the girls would love to see their Grandma Deb.”

“The diner it is.” Brian amended.

Justin was quiet for a moment after that. “So, this is my car now?” He finally asked.

“Yes, it’s yours. Enjoy.”

“Wow. Brian, this car is amazing. It comes with its own child safety seats. And I can use it to transport my paintings—“

Brian let him gush for a few minutes, not really listening but enjoying the happy smile that he could hear through the phone line.

“Sunshine?” He interrupted eventually. “I have to finish up some shit if I am to have lunch with you.”

“Oh, of course. Sorry. I’ll see you then.”

“See you later.” Brian answered and picked up the paperwork he had been going through before Justin’s major queen out interrupted him.

 

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian was so immersed in the paperwork on his desk, Lauren’s buzz through the intercom startled him. She had barely time to announce his visitors when the door to his office was flung open and an Emma-shaped projectile flew into his legs. Brian stood to catch her. She babbled excitedly and Brian was able to discern a few words in the babble that sounded like ‘Gramma De’. 

“You wanna go see Grandma Deb?” He asked her.

“Yes!” Came the very clear answer accompanied by a smile that rivaled her father’s.

Brian finally looked up and saw Justin standing in his doorway, holding Alex’s hand in his.

“I told them on our way here that we’d go see Debbie for lunch.” Justin explained.

“Down.” Emma ordered and Brian let her go. She immediately took off, past Justin and out the door, passing an entering Ted on her way out. She knew the way to Cynthia’s office by heart.

“Cynthia, don’t give her any sweets.” Brian called towards the door and the disappearing back of the little ball of energy.

“Justin, hey. Hello girls.” Ted greeted the party. “Or girl.” He corrected himself when Emma was already out the door.

“Hi, Ted.” Justin replied.

Ted crossed the room, placing a pile of papers in front of Brian which the brunet signed.

“Brian, did you have a chance to browse through my proposal?” Ted asked while turning the pages and pointing to where he needed another signature.

“We’ll talk later, Theodore.” Brian said brusquely.

“But I thought with Justin being here—“ Ted started.

“That would be _all_ , Theodore!” Brian almost snarled, raising his voice.

Ted immediately shut up and glanced quickly towards Justin and his daughter. It was untypical for Brian to raise his voice with his kids present.

Justin glanced back and forth between Brian and Ted not understanding what the issue was, then bent down to Alex whose hand he was still holding and whispered something in his daughter’s ear. She let go of Justin’s hand and walked over to Brian on wobbly feet.

“Leave!” Brian said to Ted before catching Alex and picking her up. He pressed his lips to her temple and breathed a few calming breaths to regain his equilibrium. Justin came over and smoothed a palm across Brian’s back, resting it between his shoulders.

“What’s the matter?” He asked quietly.

Justin felt Brian’s body tense beneath his hand and knew he wouldn’t get an honest answer right then.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” He answered. “So, diner?” Brian added after a moment’s silence in a fake exuberant tone .

“Sure.” Justin tried with equally forced cheerfulness. “You ready to leave?”

“Yeah. Just let me get my coat.” He put Alex down on the white couch while he went to slip into his jacket. Brian zipped up Alex’s jacket and pulled a hat over her blond hair. Meanwhile Justin walked over to Cynthia’s office to get Emma ready for leaving.

They usually walked the few blocks to the diner, so long as the weather allowed it. Today, it was cold out, the winter air crisp already.

Brian circled Justin’s new car appreciatively, raising an eyebrow in a mocking smirk. “You must have made quite an impression on the Cuylens, Sunshine.” With a last glance at the car he told Justin, “It suits you.”

They walked the short distance to the diner, Brian carrying Alex and Justin Emma. Ever since the twins outgrew their infant seats Brian insisted on carrying them rather than using a stroller. Brian Kinney would not be seen pushing a stroller of which they owned several – both, double and single designs; all of them designer items, of course. Only exclusive brands were worthy of a Brian Kinney. The only one to use them, however, was Justin whenever he went out with the girls without Brian. Justin thought it incredibly funny since Brian didn’t seem to realize that carrying a baby on his arm made him look even more hot and homey. He kept his opinion wisely to himself.

Upon entering the diner, Brian and Justin had to endure a series of rip-cracking hugs from Debbie. Brian tried to shield the girls from a fate of being smothered as best as he could.

“Jeez, Deb, don’t squeeze them to death. How the fuck would we explain this to child services?”

As luck would have it, Emmett was sitting all alone in a booth. Brian and Justin followed Emma’s trail when she made it over to her favorite Auntie. Emma started chattering immediately, scrambling onto Emmett’s lap. Brian sometimes wondered if Emmett came with a ‘child babble to English’ translator built in because he would listen carefully and answer with the same enthusiasm. The non-sensical babble seemed to make perfect sense to him and he supplied an ‘oh’ or an ‘ah’ whenever appropriate, nodding occasionally in total agreement and generally completely immersed in the conversation.

Justin watched their antics and smiled. Seeing Emmett with Emma was always fun to watch. Em had an unusually strong attachment to the little girl, claiming that he was the inspiration for the little girl’s name. The two were so much alike, it was scary. And Justin often wondered if by naming their children they unwittingly provided them with certain character traits that were innate to a name. And if this was the case, judging by Emmett’s personality, Justin decided Brian had chosen well.

 

>>><<<

 

Spring 2009

“Ooooh, have you decided on a name yet?” Emmett asked, clapping hands.

“Emmett, we just learned that at least one of them is a girl.” Justin replied.

Sunday night dinner at Debbie’s had suddenly become an excited chatter when Brian and Justin announced that Maddie’s OB/GYN told them what she had only suspected before – that it was not one but two kids and that at least one of them was a girl. They were still in the dark about the sex of the second one. They were told beforehand about the possibility that there was more than one embryo, as wasn’t uncommon with artificial insemination, and already had had the chance to get used to the idea of having more than one child.

Justin chanced a look at Brian who sat relatively quiet and listened to all the talking. They hadn’t told anyone yet that Justin was dead set on Brian to pick a name for the kid. It was something that he decided even before they knew that the insemination took.

  


>>><<<

 

  
“You still intent on me picking the name for the baby?” Brian asked later that night. 

“The babies.” Justin specified, still not completely used to the idea of thinking about his child in the plural.

“Since there are two of them why don’t you pick one and I name the other.”

“No.” Justin vehemently shook his head. “You’re going to name both of them. I named your kid, you’ll name mine.”

“You’re the artist in the family, the one with the vivid imagination. You do it. You have a nice track record of giving things names.”

“Exactly. I named Gus, your company, our house. I’ve done my share. Your turn. Besides, I’m going to supply the middle name, remember?”

“What if you hate the name I decide on?” Brian asked.

“Not gonna happen.” Justin replied sleepily and totally confident.

“You already decided on the middle name?”

“Yes.” Justin yawned, not opening his eyes.

“You’re not gonna tell me?” Brian let his fingers lace through the soft blond hair.

“Unh-uh.” Sighing contentedly Justin replied.

They were quiet for the longest time and Justin thought Brian had fallen asleep; the long fingers stopped combing his hair. He was on the verge of falling asleep also, his head resting beneath Brian’s chin.

“Emmeline.” Brian quietly said.

Justin smiled and said, “Emmeline Victoria Taylor-Kinney.”

Brian was silent for a second before replying, “Deb’s gonna like it.”

“I thought so too.”


	20. Chapter 20

Present, December 2010

Brian and Michael stood at the gate expecting their guests to arrive. The flight from Toronto was on time and had already landed. Michael grinned like an idiot, the proudest father the world had ever seen. He had come to pick up Mel and JR who would spend some time with Michael and Ben while Lindsay and Gus would come back with Brian to spend the holidays at Britin. When Lindsay had called to inform Brian of the arrangement, he and Justin shared a confused look but decided not to talk about it on the phone. They did wonder though what it was all about.

“Don’t get me wrong – I’m delirious to have Jenny Rebecca with us over the holidays but do you think there might be trouble in paradise?” A concerned Michael had asked Brian.

“I don’t have the slightest idea, Mikey. Let’s not jump to conclusions, okay?” Brian replied, rubbing his eyes.

“So, Lindsay didn’t tell you anything either?”

“Nope.”

“Brian, what if something’s really up? What if they’re thinking about splitting up?”

Brian slung an arm around Michael’s shoulders, trying to reassure his best friend, even though he himself felt less than confident about the whole Mel and Linds thing. “Listen, there’s probably nothing to it. In all probability it’s simply because Mel doesn’t want to spoil her visit by staying at Britin and enduring my presence.”

“Yeah,” Michael chuckled, “You’re probably right.” He tightened his hold around Brian’s middle though.

Whatever it was that the girls had cooked out, Brian was going to demand some answers.

“Do you see them?” Michael’s voice brought his musings to a halt.

“I’m sure they’ll be out soon.” He answered.

As if on cue, passengers started to file out, making their way towards the gates beyond which friends and family members stood waiting. Brian looked over the heads of the passengers looking out for the mother of his child. He saw her at the same time as a piercing “Dad!” rang through the crowd. Shortly after, a miniature Brian hurled himself at his father expecting the man to catch him mid-flight. Brian picked up his son and huffed a heavy breath at the increased weight but tried not to let it on.

“Dad, where’s Justin?” Gus asked once he let go of his father’s neck and looked around expectantly.

“He’s waiting for us at home, Sonny boy.”

“Why didn’t he come to pick me up?” Gus inquired, pouting slightly.

“Someone needed to stay home with Alex and Emma.”

“Why didn’t he bring them with you?”

Brian frowned. Gus seemed unusually adamant about this. Brian didn’t know what to make of it.

“But then we wouldn’t have fit in the car. Come on, Gus, we’ll pick up your bags and be on our way. I think Justin mentioned something about pizza for lunch.”

“Cool.” Gus let himself be distracted and led the way to the baggage claim area. Five years of regular visits and summers spent at Britin, Gus knew the Pittsburgh International Airport like the back of his hand.

Once outside the airport, Lindsay and Mel hugged and kissed their children’s cheeks before leaving in different directions. Gus looked after the retreating backs of Mel and JR as they followed in Michael’s step before looking up to his father. Brian motioned with his head towards the parking lot area where he had parked Justin’s new limousine.

“Can I sit with you in the front?” Gus asked when they reached the parked car.

“If it’s alright with your mom.”

“Can I, Mom?”

“Brian, is it safe?” Lindsay asked.

“We can adjust the seat to fit his height. It’s not a problem. Gus, get in.”

Gus climbed into the front seat and Brian pressed a button. The seat automatically raised a couple of inches and slid forward. When Brian reached around to secure the safety belt it fit Gus’ frame perfectly. Brian started the motor and carefully weaved into traffic, listening to Gus’ chatter. He threw a glance at Lindsay through the rearview mirror. She had her head thrown back and closed her eyes, obviously exhausted, so Brian decided to let her rest. Gus made up most of the conversation, filling his father in on every single one of his school friends, occasionally interrupting himself mid-sentence by a comment on whatever it was that caught his attention along the road. Brian nodded and supplied an “Aha” or a “Really?” wherever necessary, enjoying his son’s excitement.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Justin walked up and down in front of the windows in the twins’ bedroom. Brian was due to arrive with Lindsay and Gus any minute. The girls were still asleep but, Justin guessed, not for much longer, so he glanced back and forth between the cribs and the window from which he could see not only Britin’s driveway but also part of the road leading up to it. When his chocolate brown compact limousine came into view, Justin grabbed the baby monitor and dashed down the stairs to greet his guests. The last time he had seen Gus was more than a year ago and he had missed the boy terribly. 

He threw open the door just in time to see Brian pull up in front of the main entrance. It was less than a week until Christmas and the ground was frozen solid under a thick layer of snow. Since Justin didn’t have any shoes on he waited in the door frame rubbing his upper arms to brace himself against the freezing cold weather. He could see Gus waving frenetically at him from his seat in the front. As soon as the car came to a halt, the boy released his safety belt and sprinted towards Justin calling his name and grinning wide. He had grown so much in the last twelve months Justin wasn’t sure he would be able to lift him up anymore, so he knelt down and let himself be smothered by the ten-year-old’s grip around his neck. He hugged back just as fiercely.

“Hey, Gus. You’ve grown. You’re almost as tall as me.” Justin told him while still hugging him back. When he made a move to dislodge the embrace Gus wouldn’t let go and instead gripped the blond’s neck even tighter. Justin pulled his arms around Gus again and held the boy close, looking up at Brian, who had come around the car, with a frown. Brian shrugged not knowing what the clinginess was about either. Behind Brian, Lindsay came into view and Justin waved a hello at her.

“Gus, why don’t you take your backpack upstairs to your room?” Brian told him.

Gus finally let go of Justin and nodded, running to the back of the car to retrieve his things. He picked up his bag and caught up with Justin who had taken one of Lindsay’s bags that Brian gave him. Gus hooked two of his fingers into the side pocket of Justin’s jeans and walked with him towards the stairs. Justin mussed the boy’s hair with his free hand and bent down to plant a kiss on his head.

“Justin, where are Alex and Emma?” Gus asked as they made their way inside.

“Still asleep. But they should wake up any minute now. Let’s bring the bags upstairs then we can check on them, okay?”

“I haven’t been here in a while.” Gus said. “Did you change anything in my room while I was gone?”

Justin thought he detected a note of uncertainty in Gus’s voice and hurried to assure him. “No. It’s still exactly as you left it.” Justin answered before adding, “Do you want to change anything? You’ve probably outgrown the dinosaur phase by now.”

“You mean we can paint it something different?”

“Sure. It’s your room. You have to like it.”

“Oh, but… the dinosaurs…” Gus said, only now remembering something. “We can’t paint over the dinosaurs.” He exclaimed, meaning the mural-like painting on the wall across the windows.

“Why not?” Justin asked leaving the bag in one of the guestrooms they had made up for Lindsay and moving towards Gus’s room.

“You painted them. We have to keep them. Mom always keeps all the pictures me or Jenny Rebecca paint.”

“Hmm.” Justin replied thoughtfully. “We can get your dad’s camera and photograph them. This way they won’t be completely lost. What do you say?”

“Awesome. Can I take the pictures?”

Justin nodded and smiled. Gus would love his Christmas present.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Gus glanced over the crib down at the twins. “Wow. They’re big.” He said. “The last time we came here they were so tiny. Mom says JR was tiny, too. But I don’t remember much. I remember she used to cry a lot. She still does.” He rolled his eyes and made a face, capturing the role of the big brother who was annoyed by his little sister spot on. 

Gus was still watching the sleeping twins when Brian and Lindsay entered the room.

“Oh, Justin, they’re beautiful.” Lindsay said looking at the girls.

“Thank you.” Justin said. “Yours is turning out to be quite the heartbreaker, too.” The blond laughed, looking down at Gus whose fingers were still grabbing his pocket.

Lindsay looked at her son, then glanced at Brian. “Yes, he is.”

Gus met his father’s eyes, both sharing a wide-spread grin. It was always a big source of amusement for the two of them whenever someone commented on how much alike they looked. Also, when it came to his looks, Gus seemed to have inherited Brian’s streak for vanity and enjoyed every compliment while at the same time pretending not to care.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“They’re my sisters, too, right? Like JR?”

Brian opened his mouth to answer but peeked at Lindsay first before giving an answer.

“Yes, Gus, they are your sisters. Just like JR.” His mother helped out.

Gus seemed satisfied with her reply because he turned around and went back to watching the sleeping girls, propping his head up on the side of one crib.

“Brian, Justin, you wouldn’t mind if I go and take a nap for a short while, would you? I’m exhausted.” Lindsay said.

“Sure, no problem. Take all the time you need.” Justin answered. “Your room has been made up. I called for pizza. Don’t you want to eat with us first?”

“I’m not really hungry. I’ll have a snack later.”

“Alright. Come on, I’ll take you to your room.” Brian offered and led the way.

When they were gone, Gus continued to watch the twins. “I think they’re waking up, Jus. See?” He motioned towards Emma who stirred a little and opened her eyes. “Can I pick her up?”

“Hold on, I’ll get her out of her bed.” Justin said and reached for Emma who reached out her arms to be picked up. She looked curiously at Gus.

“Hey, Princess. You wanna say hello to Gus?” Justin asked her.

Gus reached for her to see if she would respond. “Hello, Emma. I’m Gus. I’m your big brother.”

Emma remained quiet but looked at him, then glanced to Justin before reaching for Gus. Justin handed her over, knowing Gus had enough experience with his little sister to know how to hold Emma without dropping her. Gus smiled and Emma smiled back but soon began to squirm because she wanted to be let down. Gus let her go. “Justin, did I do something wrong?”

“It’s not you, Gus. She just likes to walk on her own ever since she learned how to do it.” Brian explained coming back.

“Oh, okay then.”

Brian could tell Gus was not completely convinced. He would need a little time to get to know the twins and all of their quirks. Brian walked over to the bed where Alex was still sleeping but her eyes fluttered and she would wake up soon. It was about time, too. So Brian picked her up and pressed her to his chest, wrapping the blanket around her so she wouldn’t be cold when she woke up. She nuzzled her face into the crook of Brian’s neck sleep-drunkenly. He sat down on the sofa under the windows and listened to Gus’s and Justin’s plans as they discussed the re-decorations of Gus’s room. After some time he felt Alex’s eyelashes softly against his skin before she turned her head to inspect the owner of the unfamiliar voice. When she zeroed in on Gus, her eyes grew wide and a big smile spread on her face. She immediately reached for the boy who glanced at Justin first but after an encouraging nod came over to take her from Brian’s arms.

Brian and Justin shared a bewildered look. However trusting the twins were due to their extended family members, this was completely untypical Alex-behavior. Since shyness was not one of the girls’ character traits, mostly when confronted with new people, Alex would ignore them. Brian and Justin both stared at the easy and open way she was with Gus.

“Gus, I know she’s heavy. You can let her down but hold one of her hands to help her walk. She’s still a little wobbly on her feet sometimes.”

Gus let go of Alex and took her hand. She immediately pulled him over to the play area where most of the toys were displayed. Gus grabbed some building blocks and they both began erecting tall towers. Alex picked up a red brick and passed it to Gus, saying, “Wed.”

Gus looked at his father, not understanding. Brian helped him out.

“She means the color. It’s red. She started picking up on the color of things a few days ago.”

Gus nodded and picked up another piece, asking which color it was.

Alex thought for a second. “Yewow.”

Gus smiled and answered. “No, it’s green.” He began teaching her colors as they both chattered away happily. Occasionally Emma would find some building blocks strewn in various corners of the room and would bring them to Gus and Alex.

Justin shook his head, eyes wide in surprise. He then looked at Brian and laughed. “Oh, I get it. He looks just like you so of course she’s in love with him. It’s that damn Kinney charm all over again. Those two were probably born with a gene defect that makes them susceptible to the Kinney aura.”

Brian grinned in response and looped his arm around the blond’s shoulders, pulling him closer on the couch. He kissed Justin who pretended to pout and heard the artist mutter something that sounded much like, “My mother, my sister, my kids. Jesus!”

“Don’t forget yourself, Sunshine.” Brian added before sliding off the sofa and sitting cross-legged across from Gus, ruffling his son’s hair and pulling Alex onto his lap.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Half an hour later they all sat around the kitchen table, munching pizza. The kids were strapped into their high chairs and both tried to navigate their spoons between the yogurt cups and their mouths. 

“We should get them those miniature astronaut’s suits with a window for the face, so we wouldn’t have to clean up all the mess after an afternoon snack. We could just place them under a shower head afterwards and be done with the cleaning up.” Justin remarked thoughtfully, watching his kids create a mess. Every feeding attempt would eventually result in a fight for the power over the spoon since the twins liked to eat on their own instead of being fed. Brian insisted that having them eat yogurt with fresh cut banana pieces was a good practice.

“I’ll help you clean up, Justin.” Gus offered.

“It’s okay, Gus. You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.” Gus insisted.

“Hey, Gus?” Justin asked after a glance in Brian’s direction. Something was definitely up but he didn’t have the slightest idea what this was all about. Gus was unusually clingy. He’d always been affectionate in the past but something seemed just off somehow.

“Hmmm?” Gus mumbled around a mouthful of pizza.

“Is everything okay at school? And at home?”

Gus swallowed, took a quick sip from his iced tea, then answered. “Everything’s great. School’s fine. I like it most of the time. Math kinda sucks this year but it’s still okay.”

“You have problems with math?” Brian asked.

“No. It’s Mrs. Wealthington, my teacher. She smells funny.” Gus wrinkled his nose in distaste and took a bite from another slice of pizza. “I like sports best though. And arts ed. I have this teacher and she has a lot of prints of those paintings that we’ve seen in the museum in New York once, you remember, Justin? And one of them was yours. That gold and grey one that you made for the visitors center in Philadelphia? I told her you were my dad’s husband. Now I always get A’s.” Gus grinned sheepishly.

“Gus!” Justin exclaimed indignantly and looked over at Brian who grinned as well, with a tongue in his cheek.

“Oh, that reminds me – I need an autograph.” Gus continued. Now Brian was flat out laughing at Justin’s shocked expression.

“Dad, will you get me a bike? I want a cool one. So my friends will stare when I ride it to school.”

“Why would you take your bike? Your school is around the corner.”

“Not if we move.”

“You’re planning on moving?” Justin asked.

“The moms are looking for a bigger house. I heard Momma Mel talk to some guy on the phone.”

“A bigger house? They’re not having another kid, are they?” Brian asked.

“Ugh, Dad. Gross. No, I don’t think so. I guess they each want a room for themselves. Momma Mel has been sleeping on the couch a lot lately. Fuck. I probably wasn’t supposed to tell, was I?”

“Did they have a fight?” Justin asked concerned, completely forgetting to reprimand the boy for using a swear word; though Brian used to keep a more liberal stand on that matter. As long as Gus knew not to use them outside the family, he was okay with it.

“I don’t know. I didn’t hear them fight. But they wouldn’t be looking for a bigger house together if they’d had a fight, would they?”

“Probably not.” Justin agreed but looked skeptically at Brian. He furrowed his brow, thinking hard, trying to remember if Linds mentioned some problems lately.

“You won’t tell them that I said something, will you? I think the house was meant to be a surprise.”

“Don’t worry, Gus. Nobody will say a word.” Brian assured.

 

>>><<<

 

  
After taking a shower together, Brian climbed into the bed and turned onto his side. Justin spooned up behind him, nestling his face into Brian’s neck. 

“Tell me what’s bothering you?” Justin asked.

Brian was quiet for the longest time before responding. “Something’s wrong with Gus and I don’t know what. I can’t even ask Lindsay for fear she would say being here is not doing him any good. She didn’t want to come in the first place. I don’t want her to take Gus’s behavior as a reason to say ‘I told you so’.”

Justin sighed. He knew something was wrong with Gus but the boy didn’t seem unhappy, and Justin was confident that a heart to heart talk would clear things up. He planned to address the issue the next morning. However, he didn’t have Gus on his mind when he asked Brian what the problem was. Ever since the visit to Kinnetik a couple of weeks ago, Brian was often closed off, refusing to talk about the problem or even acknowledging that there was in fact an issue to talk about. Justin tried easing into the subject as well as confronting Brian openly about it and even demanding to know but nothing seemed to help. Justin thought it might help him figure out a strategy to make Brian talk if he knew what the fuck the problem was. But since Brian wouldn’t talk, it only left Ted and Cynthia. And because it looked as though Brian had threatened his CFO with an untimely and particularly gruesome death if he’d let anything slip and Cynthia didn’t know anything – or so she said – Justin was completely on his own. For the first time in years, Justin felt Brian slowly slipping away and it scared the hell out of him.

A cold shiver ran down Justin’s spine. To reassure himself that Brian was still there, was still his, he pressed even closer against the brunet, tightening his hold around the taller man’s body. He sighed when strong arms covered his own. Pushing the thoughts aside for now in resignation, Justin pressed one last kiss to Brian’s shoulder and succumbed to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

Present, December 2010

Brian woke up to someone jumping on the bed. The moment he decided to open his eyes all breath was knocked out of him when something, or rather someone, lumped onto his chest. He croaked in protest and heard an excited “Dada” coming from above. He finally managed to open his eyes.

“Dada, up.” Emma jumped on his stomach.

“Umph.” Was all the response Brian managed for the moment. “I’m up, Princess. I’m up.” He sat up leaning against the head board while Emma continued to jump on the bed beside him. He grabbed one of her hands so she wouldn’t fall and hurt herself.

When Brian looked up, he saw Justin standing at the foot of their bed, already completely dressed, Gus by his side who, again, had his fingers hooked into Justin’s side pocket. The image was completed by Alex who in turn was holding Gus’ other hand. But unlike Justin or Gus, she was still in her pajamas. The three of them stood in line, all staring silently at Brian.

“Why the fuck are you two dressed already? It’s—“ He glanced towards the clock on his nightstand. “It’s not even seven thirty yet.”

“Gus and I are leaving. We’ll take our bikes and make a tour around the park.” Justin explained.

“Now?”

“Yes.” Justin answered.

“But it’s freezing cold outside. The ground is frozen solid and there’s almost two feet of snow on the ground. And you’re going for a bike tour _now_?” Brian asked, clearly confused, stressing the last part.

“Yes!” Gus answered excitedly.

“You don’t expect me to come along, do you?” The horrible thought just then entered his mind.

“No. You’re going to babysit the twins. They just woke up. They haven’t had breakfast or brushed their teeth yet. Have fun.”

Gus picked up Alex and sat her down beside Brian on the bed, grinning happily. He and Justin turned to leave the bedroom but not before Justin added, “Oh, and I haven’t changed their diapers yet either. Bye.” He threw a toothy grin at the brunet and headed out the door.

Brian looked at their retreating backs, dumb-struck. He pulled Alex closer and murmured, “Your daddy is getting crazier every day.” He let himself sink back into the pillows again and closed his eyes for another minute before the twins attacked him again. Brian finally surrendered and got up to go about the morning routine. He changed, dressed, and fed the twins while waiting for his coffee to brew.

After breakfast Brian grabbed his laptop from his home office and made himself comfortable on the sofa in the girls’ playroom. He jotted down some finalizing ideas for his major accounts for the next holiday which would be Valentine’s Day, now that the Christmas craze was over for the advertising world. When he heard Lindsay on the stairwell he called up to her, “We’re over here, Linds.”

Lindsay followed the voice coming from the hallway she knew Brian’s office was located in and was surprised to find a playroom adjoined.

“You built a playroom next to your office?” She asked after a ‘Good Morning’. “Isn’t it contra productive to the idea of having a home office?”

“It depends. I seldom bring work home nowadays. To be honest, I don’t work much at all anymore. Babylon requires only a small input on my part and I have a capable manager to look over the rest. I still take care of Kinnetik’s major clients but most of the other, smaller, accounts are overseen by my people. Cynthia does a decent job managing the account managers. I suspect she gets off on the power of being the second-in-command.”

“I bet you still make her report to you every month.”

“Every week.” Brian smiled sheepishly and Lindsay laughed.

“Where are Gus and Justin? I went by the kitchen but it was empty.”

“Bike trip.” Brian told her.

“Now?” She exclaimed surprised.

“Don’t ask.”

“Okay.” She simply nodded, knowing that Justin would take care of her son.

“Are you hungry? I can fix you some breakfast.” Brian offered.

Lindsay raised her cup of coffee and said, “I found everything I needed.”

They were silent for a few minutes, just watching the girls. Emma was trying to pull apart a wooden doll and Alex was juggling play-dough.

“They seem so—“ Lindsay sighed, searching for the right word. “Content. And carefree. You and Justin are doing a wonderful job with them.”

“It’s not just us. The whole family is pitching in. They’re the result of all of our crazy, colorful friends’ efforts. Neither Justin nor I could do this on our own. I can’t be a full time dad with two businesses running successfully. Neither can Justin with his career. We found a way to make it work. It may be selfish but it does work for us and as long as the girls don’t suffer from our lifestyle I suppose it works for them, too.”

For a moment Lindsay felt a stabbing pang in her chest as she realized she wasn’t part of this extended family anymore. At least, not in the physical sense. She pushed aside the thought and returned to their conversation. “It does. I can see that. Everyone can. They seem so happy. And balanced.”

Lindsay was silent for a few minutes pondering Brian’s and Justin’s way of raising their children. She knew from various talks over the phone that the kids often spent time at Debbie’s, Daphne’s, Emmett’s, Jennifer’s, or with Molly. What sounded like a stressful lifestyle over the phone turned out to be a very stress-free arrangement. The girls weren’t being passed around, as Lindsay had worried. Because they hadn’t known it differently since the time of their birth, spending extensive amounts of time with various members of the family was natural to them. And the common denominator in it all, the thing that made them… _relaxed_ , was the word Lindsay finally decided on, was that they were being loved. Realizing her false assumption, she tried to explain her changed state of mind. “They’re loved. And they are secure in the knowledge that they are loved. That’s why they’re so relaxed and happy.” Lindsay sighed again, placing her empty cup on Brian’s desk. “You’re a good father, Brian.”

Brian tried to keep his emotions in check but couldn’t hide the fact that it meant a lot to him hearing it from Lindsay. He cleared his throat.

“Linds, are you okay?” Brian asked closing and setting aside his computer.

“I don’t know, Brian. Sometimes I feel like everything is breaking apart.” She almost whispered.

“Why?”

She sat on the couch beside Brian before answering. “I thought we were doing the right thing. Protecting our children. I always worried, wanting the best for them. And then you and Justin come along and decide to raise a kid together – two kids, Jesus! – and you make it look so simple. Don’t get me wrong, I love you both, Brian. You _and_ Justin. But I look at you two and you make it look so simple. You make everything look so easy.” She repeated again.

“Nothing’s been easy about the road that took us here.” Brian contradicted.

“I know that. God, I know. It’s just that… Do you realize how many people are scared to never find the person they’d want to spend the rest of their life with? And here you are. You never went to look for it. You never even wanted it. You go out one night and bam! – there it is. It found you. And what do you do? You push it away. Again and again. And yet, here you are. All you had to do was stop running. It _was_ that easy. Brian, I know it’s not fair of me to say it but I’m just trying to be honest. That’s how I feel. You decide to have a child and you get two. The parental rights are handed over to you on the day of their birth. You never had to live through what it means to have no legal rights to your child.”

Brian could understand where Lindsay was coming from but it didn’t prevent his anger from flaring up. “I pretty much lived in the hospital for over a week. I missed Alex’s first nights home, worried sick. Don’t you dare diminishing what Justin and I went through! Just because you choose to only see the happy side of it.” He kept his voice down for the twins’ benefit but Lindsay got the message nevertheless.

She nodded, defeated. “I tried. And I worked so hard trying to make the right decisions. And now it feels like everything is breaking apart.” She came back to her earlier statement.

“What happened?”

“How much did Gus tell you?”

That moment, Alex got up from her small desk and tippled over to Brian, extending her hands. She wanted Brian to clean them. She didn’t like being dirty. Brian reached for a wet towel and started to wipe her fingers.

“Not much. Nothing, really.” Brian answered Lindsay’s question. “You’re looking for a new house. Did you and Mel have a fight?” He asked while Alex crawled into his lap. Brian put his arms around her and stroked her back softly as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t know what happened.” Lindsay looked down. She found a loose thread on the hem of her shirt and pulled on it, wrapping it around her finger. “We didn’t fight. Maybe we lost interest in each other. Sometimes I think we were so scared by what happened in Babylon, we jumped into each other’s arms again without talking about our issues first. And now,—” she paused. “Now we don’t have a lot of things to talk about.” She stated simply, a sad tone in her voice. “What if we made a mistake? What if _I_ made a mistake, Brian?” The last question came out as a whisper.

“Then you’ll come home.” A voice from the door came. Justin walked into the room. “You have a family here, Linds. Come home.”

Lindsay simply looked at Justin who looked back at her. Neither one said anything.

“Where’s Gus?” Brian interrupted the silence.

“Taking a shower. He’ll be down as soon as he’s finished.” Justin crossed the room and kissed Brian. “Is she asleep?” He asked nodding towards Alex and planting a gentle kiss on her hair.

“No, just cuddling.” Brian replied.

“So, Brian Kinney _does_ cuddle.” Justin whispered and smirked before straightening up and turning back to Lindsay who stood watching their interaction. He looked at her and repeated, all humor gone from his voice. “Come home, Lindsay. You don’t have to decide anything right now. Think about it. Talk to Mel. Talk to Gus. He’s old enough to know what he wants.” Justin suggested.

Brian had been quiet the whole time, looking from Justin to Lindsay and back, not noticing that he was holding his breath. Having Gus back in his life was something he didn’t allow himself to hope for. He let Justin do the talking because he wanted Lindsay to make a decision without any input from him. She followed Mel’s lead when she’d gone to Canada. If she decided to come back, she needed to make the decision on her own. He wouldn’t pressure her either way.

“Let’s stage the talk for now, shall we? Gus will be downstairs soon and I don’t want him to know anything about this before anything is decided. Don’t get his hopes up, Linds.” Brian finally said, ending the discussion for now.

“I’m making lunch. I can take the twins if you want to get some work done.” Justin offered.

“Leave them here. I’m not working today. I’m going to call Theodore and Cynthia, see if everything is alright.”

 

>>><<<

 

  
Lindsay heard Justin rummage in the kitchen and decided to go upstairs to make a phone call while Gus was still showering. 

“Linds.” Came the greeting when Melanie picked up her phone.

“Hi, Mel. Is everything alright over at Michael and Ben’s? How’s JR?”

“We’re all fine. Michael is having a blast waiting on us. He’s turned even more into Debbie than I remember.” Melanie laughed.

“I bet he enjoys having his daughter around.”

“He does.” Mel confirmed. “Are you alright? You sound off somehow.”

“I’m fine, I think. I just had a talk with Brian and Justin. They knew about our plans to move.”

“How?”

“Gus, I’d say.”

“But how did he know? We never said a word.”

“Mel, he’s ten years old. He was bound to hear something and can put two and two together.”

“So…” Mel drawled. “What did Brian think?” She couldn’t keep a surly tone out of her voice.

“He didn’t say much. Justin suggested something though. I’d like to talk to you about it. Can we meet somewhere? Not the diner though.”

Melanie couldn’t help the foreboding feeling that took hold of her but agreed to meet late that afternoon.

  


>>><<<

 

  
“So, what’s the problem with Gus?” Brian asked Justin when the blond crawled under the covers and snuggled up to the taller man. After spending most of the afternoon with Gus and the girls in the park, watching the kids chase each other and dodging the occasional snow ball, they were both happy when the kids were finally brought to their respective beds. They steered carefully away from the talk that Lindsay and Justin had earlier in the day, waiting for Lindsay to bring up the topic again. 

“There _is_ no problem with Gus.” Justin grinned.

Gus had seemed like his old self in the afternoon, and Brian reasonably concluded that the bike trip in the morning must have resolved some of the problems.

“Okay. Then what _was_ the problem with Gus?” Brian asked, catching on.

“I think he was afraid of losing me as his… ehm… second dad, I guess.” He glanced at Brian to gauge his reaction before continuing. “You remember that one visit to Toronto? The first time we both went there together to see Linds, Mel, and the kids?”

Brian nodded. He remembered a six year old Gus, nervously trying to ask Brian and Justin if Justin was his second daddy, just like Momma Mel was his second mommy.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Toronto International Airport, Fall 2006

Brian was nervously walking up and down the gate where the passengers from Newark International Airport, flight New York – Toronto, were bound to disembark. He hated waiting for the blond’s plane to land. It would be the first time they would visit Gus together. Brian had been coming to Toronto regularly since Mel and Linds had moved there more than twelve months ago. Justin had been there once on his own to show four of his paintings in a gallery Lindsay found work at. But they had never come here together. Brian didn’t know exactly what he was nervous about. Everybody knew of their commitment to each other; knew that Brian and Justin decided to do their utmost to make their relationship work despite the distance. But Brian still wasn’t comfortable dealing with the doting looks and the ‘ahs’ and ‘ohs’. He just hoped that Lindsay would have enough sense not to channel Deb’s aura.

The announcement coming from the speakers pulled him from his thoughts. He watched out for a blond head and soon saw Justin moving towards him, a wide Sunshine smile on his face. They had seen each other only the weekend before but Brian’s heart jumped nonetheless at the sight of his favorite blond.

Justin sprinted up to him and threw himself into his arms. Not caring how many people were watching, he sought out Brian’s lips and let himself be kissed by the brunet.

“So, how many times did you curse Cynthia for booking you on a flight that landed ninety minutes before mine did?”

Brian rolled his eyes inwardly. The twat knew him way too well. “Not once.” Brian answered. “I busied myself thinking up various ways to punish Lindsay in case she’ll dare swoon and gush.”

“Don’t worry. I called beforehand and told them to keep their emotions in check.” He sent another Sunshine smile in Brian’s direction before changing the subject. “Are we taking a taxi or did you organize a rental car?”

“Rental car.” Brian let the car keys dangle from his fingers and led the way. Since they were only staying the weekend, Justin had only a duffle bag as a carry-on with him. Brian had already picked up his suitcase, so they made their way towards the rental car parking lot.

The first time Brian noticed that Gus had something on his mind, was during dinner. He squirmed in his chair, repeatedly glancing back and forth between Brian and Justin, occasionally opening his mouth to say something but deciding to keep quiet at the last second.

After dinner Justin pulled Brian over to the sofa in the living room and motioned for Brian to pull Gus onto his lap. Justin knew Brian needed some help to make the boy talk, so he started a conversation hoping Gus would find it easier to say what was on his mind.

He questioned Gus about his school that the boy started only a couple of months before and listened when Gus began telling them about his new friends. When Gus told them his friends found it funny that Gus had two mommies he began to squirm again. Brian prodded him to go on and Gus finally blurted out.

“I told them I had two daddies, too.” He looked at Justin with wide eyes. “Are you my second daddy, Jus?"

Justin chanced a glance at Brian but the brunet only shrugged his shoulders. It was Justin’s decision what he wanted to tell Gus. Brian would be okay with it either way. Justin understood and turned his attention on Gus again.

“I’d love to be your second dad, Gus. If you let me?”

Gus nodded enthusiastically.

“I’ve never been a daddy before, Gus. You’ll have to help me.”

“It’s really easy, Jus. You just need to come and visit me, like Daddy does. And bring presents.” He thought hard, scrunching up his face in concentration and added, “And you have to come to the park with me, and take me to the playground, and paint with me, and call me on the phone like Daddy does.”

“I think I can do all that.” Justin laughed.

Gus, satisfied with the result of the conversation, ran to get his toys.

 

>>><<<

 

  
“Roll over.” Brian breathed into Justin’s ear a few hours later. 

Justin complied and Brian pushed against his hip. Justin lifted up on his hands and knees then and Brian nudged his legs apart, positioning himself behind the blond. Quickly sheathing himself, he pushed his erection against Justin’s hole and prodded inside without any preparation, shoving the blond full of himself.

“Fuck, Brian.” Justin gasped.

“You okay?” Brian breathed.

Justin nodded, “Yes. Give me a minute. Don’t move.”

“I wasn’t planning to.” Brian told him. He knew Justin hadn’t been prepared for the penetration, but he was so desperate to be as close as possible to the blond, needed to be inside him. He kept his body still, not moving an inch, simply enjoying their closeness.

“God, Brian, you feel so fucking amazing.” Justin moaned, trying to keep quiet. Mel and Lindsay’s room was just across the hall. Justin moved his hips a little and now it was Brian’s turn to moan.

“No, Sunshine. Don’t move. Stay like this.” He breathed heavily.

“Okay.” Justin agreed.

Brian felt Justin’s pulse surrounding him, felt the blond’s heartbeat on his cock. He tried to collect his thoughts. “Thank you.” He was finally able to utter.

Justin knew what Brian was thanking him for and knew that he wasn’t too comfortable with showing his gratitude this openly. He tried to make it easier for Brian by not making a big deal out of it. “Are you going to fuck me soon?” He asked provocatively.

Brian pressed out a laugh and began a slow thrusting rhythm.

 

>>><<<

 

Present, December 2010

“I remember.” Brian confirmed unnecessarily. Justin could see the memories flickering across his face and smiled a little.

“This morning, when we went biking, Gus said something along the lines of that he had thought that we wouldn’t have much time to do something together now that I’m a _real_ daddy. And it struck me as such an odd expression, you know? So I started to tell him that I’ve been a daddy for many years now. And he said that now that I have the twins I wouldn’t need him anymore to be a dad. It was heartbreaking, Brian. I think we should have let him spend Christmas with us last year. He really thought he would lose me as his second dad. And I haven’t been to Toronto once ever since the twins were born.”

“I’ll talk to him; explain that nothing is going to change.” Brian said.

“I already did tell him that and I think it helped. But he probably needs to hear it from you, too.”

“Okay.“ Brian told him, ending the discussion.

“Can we play now?” Justin asked, smiling mischievously. The day’s success concerning Gus’s behavior was enough to make Justin forget about Brian and the problem he refused to talk to Justin about.

“Didn’t we play enough already today?” Brian asked referring to the day spent in the park.

“I had another kind of games in mind.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. More of the adult sort.” Justin explained, reaching for Brian’s groin.

Brian rolled his lips in before saying, “Choose your toy.”

“I already have.” Justin answered and pulled Brian’s arm around his body.

Under his lover’s guidance, Brian let his open palm run over Justin’s back towards his ass and cupped the blond’s ass. He startled when his fingers touched something solid and cool lodged between Justin’s cheeks. He felt a round and smooth knob protruding from his crack. Brian grabbed the base of what was obviously a metallic butt plug and wiggled the toy a little. Justin moaned in response.

“What’s that?” Brian asked.

“Wanna take a look?” Justin suggested and moved off of Brian’s body to lie on his stomach pulling up his knees under his body.

Brian knelt behind Justin, spreading him. A shiny silver object jutted out of Justin’s hole, the rest of which disappeared in his body. Brian seized the handle and pulled on it. Mesmerized by the sight of Justin’s ring muscle stretching around the widest part of what turned out to be a triple tiered plug, Brian pulled it free from the blond’s body. He rubbed the tip of the toy across the stretched hole making the blond buck and moan. The toy wasn’t too long but fairly wide in girth, roughly the same as Brian’s dick, the brunet estimated from what he could make out in the dim lighting. Brian planted an open-mouthed kiss on Justin’s left ass cheek before plunging the silver gadget back inside. Justin apparently had plans for tonight’s entertainment and Brian was anxious to find out what they were.

“Silver?” Brian asked as Justin rolled over on his back again. “Where did you get it?” He wondered when the blond nodded a yes to his first question.

“This shop I found online. I got something for you, too.”

“Ah.” Brian voiced rolling his lips in, understanding beginning to dawn. Obviously this was the overture to a bigger scheme. Brian waited for Justin to pull something from under his bedside. The blond came up with a longish, rectangular box in his hands.

“Roll over.” Justin demanded without preamble.

There had been times when Brian would have resisted or at least kept up the appearance of putting up a fight before eventually giving in. But those times were part of their past and Brian knew the blond could read him easily and would give him exactly the pleasure his body craved. He turned onto his stomach and positioned himself for his lover when Justin commanded, “Up,” touching his hip.

Justin pressed his lips on Brian’s pink pucker and Brian let out a shaky sigh when the wet lips connected with his sensitive spot. The next second a dollop of cold lube was squeezed directly onto his opening and a cold, smooth object circled around his hole.

Justin smeared the lubricant around Brian’s bud using the tip of the new toy, lubing the object in the process. He pushed in the tip of the heavy plug and twisted it back and forth, giving Brian the time to adjust. The toy was not as wide as the plug Justin bought for himself but was considerably longer. It was smooth and tiered, like Justin’s, but unlike Justin’s, was curved to better stimulate the prostate with its bulging head. Additionally, the tapered end that would be encased by the outer ring muscle to hold it in place was nub-studded to provide added stimulation by creating friction on the smooth tissue.

Justin cautiously eased in the full length of the plug, turning it carefully to keep it from connecting with Brian’s prostate. He first wanted the man to get used to the feel of the toy inside him before providing any extra stimulation. When it was safely lodged inside Brian’s ring muscle, Justin twisted it slightly, the small knobs of the tapered end rubbing delicately against the soft area making Brian throw back his head in ecstasy.

“Holy fu—“ He gasped in surprise. “Jesus Fuck.” Brian tried to regulate his breathing. Ever since Justin started to work his new toy inside the brunet’s body, Brian had been leaking copious amounts of pre-cum into the sheets under him. It was embarrassing how much Justin could turn him on still and make him drip like a seventeen year old boy.

Justin let go of the butt plug and, after making sure it was firmly embedded in the taller man’s tight opening, made him roll back over. Brian’s cock was dripping wet and straining, begging for attention. Justin crawled down Brian’s body placing soft kisses on all the sensitive spots, eliciting the most delicate sounds from his lover. He licked the rock hard erection clean from the pre-cum, humming contentedly around Brian’s cock head and sending exquisite vibrations through the older man’s body. Justin let the shaft slip from his mouth despite Brian’s protests and moved up on the bed, straddling Brian’s slim hips. He wiggled his ass until the cool surface of the protruding butt plug handle rubbed against the heated skin on Brian’s dick and made the man beneath him groan and buck in frustration.

Brian was close to losing his mind. The combined sensations of the toy firmly lodged between his ass cheeks, grating his sensitive muscle that held it in place and Justin’s hot wet mouth on his hard cock had already been almost too much for the brunet. When Justin’s mouth was replaced by his ass as the blond continued to rub it against the older man’s erection, Brian growled. The visual of the horny blond above him, sweat-glazed perfect skin, pupils blown so wide it made his eyes seem almost black, very nearly gave him the rest.

Justin must have sensed his dilemma because the next moment he repositioned himself and grabbed behind him to pull out the plug from his body and adding lube. Brian gulped down, his mouth suddenly dry, watching the blond get himself ready for his lover. Justin lowered himself onto Brian’s rigid length and began to jab his hips in a galloping rhythm. Brian’s eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets, so intense were the sensations every time he pumped his hips upwards to meet the slamming of the blond. The plug moved with each thrust, rubbing him from the inside. His breaths came in heavy pants and he wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to keep up with the frantic blond.

Justin suddenly pressed his upper body firmly against Brian’s and wound his arms around the older man’s chest, rolling them both around. Brian now atop of him, Justin clamped his legs around the brunet’s hips and pulled him close but let Brian do most of the pumping. When he felt his own orgasm approach and recognized the first telltale signs which divulged that Brian wasn’t far behind, he reached around the taller man and seized the toy’s handle, twisting it inside Brian’s body, pressing the tip of the plug against Brian’s prostate. Brian’s jaw slacked and he let out a deep animalistic growl followed by a breathlessly pressed out “Fuck” and a never ending stream of hot thick cum that coated Justin’s insides. The searing hotness of Brian’s semen filling him triggered his own orgasm and Justin succumbed to the tremors, giving his body over to the mercy of a blinding orgasm.

Collapsing onto the mattress, Brian half atop Justin, pressing him into the bed, they both gasped for breath until Brian moved to pull out from the blond’s body. Justin let him go reluctantly and Brian collapsed on his stomach beside the blond.

When the tremors in his limbs subsided and Justin deemed it safe to move again, he straddled Brian’s thighs to pull out the silver plug. Brian, completely drained, let the blond perform the ministrations almost without acknowledging them. Justin couldn’t help himself and jabbed the tip of the toy against Brian’s prostate one more time before pulling it out completely. Brian bucked underneath him and Justin teased, “I take it you liked my early Christmas present?”

“What gave you that idea?” Brian opted for nonchalance but failed miserably when Justin nodded his head towards the enormous wet spot that Brian had leaked on earlier. “Twat.” Brian murmured lovingly and reached for his blond. He scooped him up and pulled him into his arms, falling asleep in a mess of pre-cum, sweat, warm ivory skin, and soft blond hair.


	22. Chapter 22

Present, December 2010

Justin couldn’t sleep. He had woken up some time before the sun came up and lay awake beside the sleeping form of Brian, trying to think. He was desperate. Since the visit to Kinnetik and Brian’s flare-up, Justin was feeling increasingly paranoid. Every time he tried to make Brian talk, Brian would deflect. What angered Justin most was that Brian was acting as though nothing was wrong, even though the brunet knew perfectly well that Justin had figured out something was up. He could have dealt better with the entire situation if Brian would tell him that he didn’t want to talk about it instead of denying the existence a problem. Justin feared they were back in a time when Brian would keep things to himself, like, years ago, the fact that he had cancer.

The day before, when visiting Michael in his comic book store with Gus, Justin had even asked Mikey if Brian had told him anything. It was indicative of just how desperate Justin was, for he knew that nowadays Justin was the one Brian would first come to for a talk. Michael’s first suggestion had been that the cancer was back. However, it was not time for a checkup. Brian’s last one had been only four months ago and came up perfectly clear.

“I can hear your brain rattling all the way over here.” Brian suddenly said and flipped over onto his side to face Justin.

“Because you won’t talk to me.” Justin replied accusatory.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Brian insisted.

“Don’t lie to me.” Justin was losing his patience. He breathed heavily in an attempt to calm himself. “Fuck.” He added, more calmly, then, “Brian, I’m this close to going to Ted behind your back and asking him what’s wrong.”

“Justin, just—“ Brian was getting impatient, too. “Fuck.” He got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower. You coming?”

“Just tell me you don’t want to talk about it and I’ll back down.” Justin pleaded, not ready to drop the conversation at such an unsettled point.

“Fine, I don’t want to talk about it. You coming?” Brian finished with a forceful tone.

“Be there in a minute.” Justin’s voice sounded sad and resigned.

In the shower Justin grabbed Brian’s face with both hands and shook his head back and forth, telling him, “I love you. I fucking love you. Don’t you know that by now?” Hoping to make the older man understand that whatever the issue was, they could talk about it.

Brian heard him loud and clear.

 

>>><<<

 

  
“Explain to me one more time why exactly we have the Christmas dinner at our house?” Brian whispered into Justin’s ear, coming up behind the blond and wrapping his arms around his middle. 

Justin smiled. Brian still was reluctant to talk about what was bothering him but with the Christmas Eve dinner coming up they both were distracted enough and silently agreed to forget the problems for a while. Justin, not seeing any other way to deal with the current situation, decided to push it aside and ignore it as good as he was able to. He hoped it wouldn’t take Brian too much longer to finally come out and talk to him.

“I don’t know if you noticed but our family has grown fucking huge. Thankfully, our place fits all of them comfortably.”

“How many are we?” Brian asked.

“Counting all of us, including children and respective life partners or current boy- or girlfriends, I believe we reached twenty-eight. Why?”

“When Emmett and Drew decide to buy a house together I’m going to suggest a big dining room.” Brian explained.

“Come on, you love it. The twins are at my Mom’s,” Jennifer and Tucker would bring them back when they’d come for the big Christmas dinner, “we have a minimal amount of actual cooking to do,” since Deb and the rest were bringing food, the only thing left to do for Justin was cook the turkey, “and the only thing left for you to do is supervise the decorating staff which you secretly love, so stop complaining.”

Brian slapped Justin’s ass and moved to the living room where the decorators were currently setting up the tree. Brian specifically requested blue and silver lights only and went to make sure his directions were executed as planned.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Jennifer, Tucker, and the twins were the first guests to arrive since the girls needed to be changed and dressed before the rest of the family would invade Britin. Jennifer went to help Justin with the kids while Brian welcomed Molly and her current Beau who’d followed Jen and Tucker in a second car. 

“Hey, Brian, can I ask you a favor?” Molly asked him with a grin on her face.

Brian raised his eyebrows and listened.

“Since Robert here is not yet used to our crazy family, could you and Justin keep your respective bodily fluids to yourself tonight? We don’t want to scare him away.”

“I don’t know, Little Taylor, if he can’t stomach the view, are you sure he can stomach the talk?”

Molly wrinkled her forehead. Apparently she forgot to mention how loud and obnoxious the family could be at times. She hurried away with a muttered, “I better go warn him.” Brian grinned at her retreading back. This would be a trial by fire kind of evening for the new contestant. Brian couldn’t wait to see how he would hold his ground. Brian would readily welcome him into the family should he prove worthy. However, not many men did when it came to Molly. Not unlike her brother, the littlest Taylor was something else and Brian was watching every guy she brought home with to meet the family with a hawk’s eye. So far, not one of them had measured up.

Soon after, an entire convoy arrived. Debbie and Carl were followed in another car by Michael and Ben, and in yet another car by Hunter and his girlfriend. All three cars were loaded to capacity with uncountable dishes in or on plates, trays, casseroles, bowls, and pots. Lindsay and Gus, who had gone to pick up Melanie and JR pulled into the driveway behind them and helped unload all the food.

Minutes after that, the doorbell rang again. Justin opened the door to welcome a newly reunited happy couple. Emmett and Drew both happily greeted Justin at the door. They’d met again in a department store only six months ago and decided to give their relationship another try. So far, they were still enjoying their newly found love, making puppy dog eyes at each other and smiling from ear to ear in general. Justin led them through to the living room where the rest of the family, or part of it, was already assembled. Emmett gasped at the decorations and completely forgot to scold Brian and Justin for not hiring him.

Trish, the housekeeper slash occasional babysitter, completed the self-appointed kitchen staff and together with Debbie they set out to put all the food on the table in the dining room.

Ted and Blake arrived at the same time as Cynthia and her lover. Molly went to open the door and took their coats while directing the guests to the living room. “Just follow the voices.” She advised.

Cynthia went to greet Brian because she knew he was dying for an update. Since Gus came to visit, Brian hadn’t had the time to come into the office or even call in. She found him on a couch in the back of the room, arms full with the twins who were unusually shy seeing so many people at once even though they knew all of them individually and spent enough time with each of them on a regular basis. Still, it was a little bit overwhelming for the little girls to take everything in and they were still adapting, watching their surroundings with large eyes.

Cynthia eyed the girls with a soft smile and said to Brian, “They look definitely more like the Taylor side of the family, don’t they? Especially Alex. She’s a perfect copy of Justin. If I try really hard I can see some of Maddie in Emma, but it’s probably just my imagination.”

“It’s not. Emma has her shade of blue if you look closely. More greenish than Justin’s. And her hair is curly, as you can see. The rest though? Jennifer says she’s another Molly.” Brian elaborated and Cynthia nodded thoughtfully. “How is Maddie? Have you heard from her?”

“Yes, actually. We talked a few weeks ago on the phone. She called me.”

“What exotic places is she gracing with her presence right now?” Brian asked.

“Seattle.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah. Exactly.”

“If she’s in the States, didn’t she want to come here? Maybe spend Christmas with us?”

“She wouldn’t want to. You know my sister, Bri. That’s just how she is.”

Brian nodded and Cynthia hurried to change the topic of conversation when she was interrupted by another bell ring. Brian got up. “Will you watch them for a minute?” He told Cynthia and went to open the door.

The only ones left to join the party were Daphne and her husband and son. They completed the gathering of friends that long ago had become family. Brian returned to the couch relieving Cynthia of her momentary babysitting duties and watched as the people laughed, drank, cheered, and simply had a nice time. Emma was the first one who dared to leave the security of Brian’s arms and slipped from the couch to mingle in the crowd. She was immediately picked up by Emmett and, as soon as she finished serving the vast amounts of food, Debbie – who insisted on greeting her properly with a bone-crushing hug. It went on until Alex too slipped from Brian’s hug and made her way over to Gus who immediately grabbed her tiny hand. Brian looked at the loud and happy crowd – his son who was beaming down to Alex, Emma who was being the center of attention which, as usual, made Brian smile. His best friend who couldn’t stop watching JR as she made first contact with Daphne’s son Henry, and who looked like the proudest father on earth. Brian’s eyes found Justin in the crowd. The blond was joking with Daphne and Molly’s boyfriend. Some indescribable feeling was trying to swim to the surface and Brian didn’t know what to name the sudden emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him. A sudden voice behind him jerked him out of his contemplations.

“God loves you, Brian.” Debbie told him quietly, leaning over the backrest of the couch.

“He does?” Brian replied, not able to keep the sudden surge of bitterness out of his voice. Watching his children, his own memories of childhood had come bobbing up and were drifting too close to the surface.

“Yes, with no doubt whatsoever. Look at all the things that you’ve accomplished, everything that you have. And I’m not talking about good looks, money, brains, success, or a big cock.” Brian smirked at that. “Look at all those people. They love you, they respect you. You have your son’s unabashed loyalty. And Sunshine and the girls? They adore you and worship the ground you walk on – still, after all those years. Even more now, I’d say. You finally have everything you ever wanted.”

“And more.” Brian added when his eyes rested on Justin.

“You did good, kiddo.” Deb smoothed a hand over Brian’s hair and stood to order everyone to take their places around the dinner table.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian lay on the duvet, clad only in his boxers and watched Justin undress. Debbie’s words were still fresh in his mind when his eyes followed Justin’s every move. The blond stripped down to his underwear and went to check on the door for the last time. He stood in the middle of the room, going through everything in his mind, checking that he didn’t forget anything while scratching lightly behind his ear. He looked so fucking adorable; Brian couldn’t help but smile and lick his lips. All his. Sometimes the idea still threw him. 

“In a couple of months, the advertising awards are coming up. People say Kinnetik is going to win at least one of them if not more.”

Justin came closer and sat on the bed when Brian started talking.

“With the new accounts we were able to land this year, Cuylen and some others, Kinnetik has made some fucking great profits. And the upcoming award ceremony will provide us with just enough publicity. According to Ted the time couldn’t be more perfect.” He elaborated when Justin blinked, clearly not following the train of thought. “Ted has been pestering me about a New York office.”

Justin stared unblinkingly when all the puzzle pieces fell into place. So, that was what’s been troubling Brian. This was huge. Justin knew exactly how big a dream of Brian’s this was.

“So, you want to go to New York.” He stated. Brian didn’t answer and Justin asked, “ _Do you_ want to go to New York?”

“I don’t know.” Brian said. “No?” The last bit came out as a question.

“You always wanted to go.”

“That was then. This is now.” Brian said.

“What’s different now?”

“What’s different now?!” Brian asked incredulously. “Us? Everything?” Brian rubbed his hands across his face. Their timing was always shitty. “We’re a family now. I can’t just leave everything and go away to try my luck somewhere else. We have Alex and Emma to think about. And Gus and Lindsay. This isn’t simply about what _I_ want anymore.”

Justin crawled over to Brian and wrapped his arms around the older man’s shoulders. He was moved that Brian would beat himself up because he wanted something and wasn’t sure how to break this to his partner. “But you want to know if you’d make it. In New York.” Justin understood.

“I want Kinnetik to be the best it can be.” Brian replied simply.

“Then you have to go.” Justin said.

“No. I won’t have a long distance relationship. Not again. We said, not again. Remember?”

Justin remembered. “When the ArtForum article appeared, you told me I had to go. This is your ArtForum, Brian. You need to go.”

“I’m not going to leave you. Or the girls.” Brian was adamant in his decision.

“I’m not asking you to leave us.” Justin replied.

“What are you saying then?” Brian wanted to know.

“Who’d run Kinnetik here when you’re in New York?”

“Cynthia, I think. She and Theodore already do it anyways. They have account managers for the clients. It’s only the really big fish I am involved in.”

“So, once Kinnetik NY is set up and running, Cynthia or someone else would be able to run it without you being present. You’d be supervising based on the weekly reports?”

“I suppose. If I was able to find another Cynthia that is.” Brian said.

“So, there you have it. The solution to our problem. We go to New York; you set up a new office, get some of your account managers transferred. Cynthia and Ted meanwhile will find and train people who would be able to take over once things are running smoothly. Split them. Send Cynthia to New York and keep Ted here. Cynthia would sure love being the boss in your New York branch.”

“ _We_ go to New York?” Brian asked.

“Did you hear the rest of what I was saying?” Justin laughed.

Brian kissed the blond, tasting the soft and full lips with the tip of his tongue. He rested his forehead on Justin’s. “So, _we_?”

“We all go. You, me, the girls. Brian, as long as we share the same bed every night, I can paint anywhere.” Justin said.

“I—“ Brian cleared his throat, “I kinda like the idea of Alex and Emma growing up here. At Britin.”

Justin smiled. He liked the idea, too.

“How long do you think it would take, setting up a new branch? How long would we have to stay there? Before you could hand the reigns over to someone else?”

“I don’t know. Six months? A year?”

Fuck! “Wow. Okay. Never mind. The girls are small; they won’t care if we live somewhere else for a year.” Justin had to get used to the idea, too.

“Sunshine, we’re not exactly the conventional parents. We only manage because we have people around who help us. In New York there’d be only us.”

Justin grinned wide. “I might have a solution to that.” He said and proceeded to kiss Brian’s neck and chest.

“Seems like you have a solution for everything.” Brian told him.

“Yeah.” Justin breathed, nibbling on Brian’s collarbone. “Brian?”

“What?”

“Next time – just talk to me, okay?”

“You bet.” Brian tangled his hands in Justin’s and rolled them over until he covered the blond completely with his own body. Nothing was decided. Yet. But Brian knew he’d be sleeping much calmer tonight.


	23. Chapter 23

New York, Summer 2007

Brian woke up legs, arms, and fingers tangled into soft and sleep-warm blond. He carefully extricated his limbs from his lover’s and filled his nostrils with the smells that were so distinctly Justin: a faint but ever-present trace of oil paints that Brian had come to love, a mix of exotic fruity scents and something that reminded him of vanilla but wasn’t. Last night’s activities blended into the heady mix and Brian took a deep breath before moving further down and swallowing Justin’s morning hard-on whole. The blond sighed in his sleep and moved his legs instinctively to accommodate Brian between them. The brunet bobbed his head up and down a couple of times, and then moved his mouth to the side to nibble on the blond’s inner thighs. His tongue traced the deep red and violet marks his lips had left there the previous night. Justin moved his hips seeking the wet warmth of the mouth with his cock, still deep asleep.

Brian enveloped Justin’s dick again with his lips and sucked softly but steadily.

“Hmmmmmm.” The blond was beginning to wake up.

Brian swirled his tongue around the engorged head and continued with his sucking motion, his gaze directed straight at Justin’s face. The blond’s eyelashes began to flutter until, finally, he opened his eyes and blue ones locked on hazel.

Brian started to work the whole length of Justin’s erection with his lips, never leaving Justin’s stare, admonishing the blond without words to keep looking. When Brian pushed the tip of his tongue against Justin’s slit, the blond threw his head back and moaned.

“Oh, Gooooood. Brian!”

The older man wanted Justin to keep watching him so he moved his arm to the blond’s face to direct his gaze back to him. Justin felt the fingertips on his cheek and understood. He locked his eyes on Brian again, but watching the older man’s lips wrapped around his very hard cock was pushing him towards an abyss so much faster. He tried to focus on the hazel eyes instead but the intense expression also almost made him come undone. Justin resigned himself to coming within only a few minutes like a teenager he no longer was. To reciprocate, he grabbed Brian’s hand that still rested on his chin and licked a thin line along the crease where Brian’s hand met the wrist. Justin laved the sensitive skin on the inside of the wrist with the tip of his tongue, barely touching it. Still holding Brian’s steady gaze, Justin pressed his lips on the wetted expanse of skin and sucked, hard.

Brian’s eyes rolled back in their sockets at the action. He blinked a few times before collecting himself and focusing back on Justin whose face showed a very satisfied smirk. Brian resumed his activities on Justin’s cock just as the blond continued to suck and nib on the thin skin of Brian’s inner wrist. Brian never thought he could be turned on by something like that but every sucking motion of Justin’s mouth, every press of his warm moist lips translated directly onto his cock. The brunet moved his hips and rubbed his hard-on on Justin’s leg while sucking the blond to completion. Justin flooded Brian’s mouth, biting down on the tortured skin of Brian’s wrist and stifling his moan. He pulled up Brian’s head with both his hands and kissed the brunet, pushing his tongue inside the hot cavity and licking at his own taste combined with Brian’s like an addict.

“Wow. That was—“ Justin breathed.

“Yeah. It was.” Brian agreed. “Come on, let’s take a shower. Gus will be up soon.”

Brian and Gus had arrived in New York the previous day. Brian had gone to Toronto to pick up Gus who would be spending the summer in Pittsburgh with his father. The brunet had asked Cynthia to book his return flight with a one day layover in New York, so they both could go see Justin before returning to Pittsburgh. Justin promised Gus to show him around his studio and Brian was sure that Gus would be up early to make sure Justin kept his promise. Brian knew Gus missed seeing Justin on a regular basis almost as much as he did.

 

>>><<<

 

  
The three of them sat in the cab that was taking them to Justin’s studio. Brian looked out the window at the city while Justin explained to Gus the plans they had for the day. He absentmindedly stroked the mark on his left wrist with the thumb of his other hand. When he noticed Justin’s and Gus’ conversation had come to a halt, he looked over at his lover and noticed the blond watching him. Brian smoothed the sleeve over the mark and leaned back in his seat. Justin pursed his lips and tried to bite down a grin. 

After an extensive inspection of Justin’s work space, Gus’ curiosity didn’t seem to be satisfied yet. Justin knocked on the sliding door of the neighboring working space where one of his New York friends, a photographer, kept a fully equipped photo studio like in the olden days. Leila loved the whole process of cutting up a film strip, projecting the pictures. She loved the smell of the developing chemicals and the intimacy of the small, red lit room, seeing the pictures come to life. She helped Justin out on occasion by taking some photographs of Justin’s paintings for Justin’s portfolio. Justin asked Leila if she’d mind showing Gus how photographs were made and she ushered all three of them inside. They had some fun time taking pictures first; even Gus was allowed to take a few and insisted on photographing his two dads. His jaw dropped when Leila showed him how the pictures were developed, bathing the paper first in one, then in a second basin. He watched in fascination as his two dads appeared on the blank paper swimming in the first basin. Brian lifted Gus so he could hang the wet pictures for drying. Leila promised him to send them to Gus once they were dry.

After eating lunch in Justin’s favorite diner across from his studio, they returned to the apartment. Gus and Brian had a plane to catch later that evening. Justin had a meeting with a gallery owner interested in his work later that week, so he wouldn’t be able to return to Pittsburgh with them.

Brian packed up the little they had taken out of their bags while Justin and Gus watched cartoons in the small living room. He called a taxi and joined his son and his lover in front of the TV.

“All done, Sunshine. The cab will be here in half an hour.”

“Okay.” He scooted over, closer to Brian. “Call me when you get home?”

“Always do.” Brian replied.

“If the meeting goes well I’ll join you in a week.”

“I know.”

They spent the next twenty minutes lying on the couch playing with each other’s hair until Brian got up and picked up his bag.

“Gus, it’s time to leave. Get your shoes on. And then say goodbye to Justin.”

“Bye, Jus.” Gus came over to Justin and hugged him tight.

“Bye, Gus. See you in a week.” Justin held the boy and placed a kiss on top of his head. He then turned to face Brian. He tilted his head up and waited for Brian to kiss him, then sighed. It would only be a week until they saw each other again but sometimes a week was more than enough for Justin to lose his sanity over how much he missed the brunet. “Love you.” He murmured against Brian’s lips.

“Love you back.” Brian extricated himself from the tight hold Justin had on him. “Later, Sunshine.” He whispered.

“Later.”

Brian slung his carry-on over his shoulder and took Gus’ hand. They left the building to wait for the cab driver. Justin never accompanied Brian outside after one of his visits – watching the cab pull away and disappear in the traffic was an experience he had made once, after Brian’s first visit to the city. He wasn’t too keen on a repeat performance of himself falling apart in the street where every stranger could see him.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Present, December 2010

Brian and Justin were woken up by a discreet knocking on their bedroom door.

“Come in.” Brian called sleepily.

“It’s locked, Brian.” Justin murmured and scrambled to get out of bed to open it. He pulled on a pair of gray sweat pants and pressed the button near the light switch to release the lock. A small brown haired head appeared in the opened door.

“Are you awake?” Gus asked. “Mom said I could go check.”

“Come on in, Gus.” Justin said and went back to bed, crawling in behind Brian and pressing his chest against Brian’s back.

Gus stood on Brian’s side of the bed looking at his father who pretended to be asleep.

“Dad?” Gus asked.

“Hmmm?” Brian reluctantly opened his eyes.

“Can I open my presents now? Mom said I’d have to wait for you before I open yours.”

“In a minute, Gus.” Brian murmured. He listened to the baby monitor on Justin’s side of the bed and heard that the twins were already awake babbling something, conversing with each other. He reached for Gus and pulled him onto the bed.

Gus screeched, “I’m too old for cuddling, Dad.” He laughed.

“I bet Justin thinks that you’re not.” Brian answered.

Gus looked over at Justin who smiled and nodded. “Your dad cuddles, too, Gus. And he’s way older than you.”

“ _Way_ older, Sunshine?” Brian raised an eyebrow.

Justin smirked in response and Brian tickled him in revenge for the comment. Gus joined in and soon they were writhing on the bed tickling each other. Lindsay bobbed her head in eventually, saying, “I heard laughs and screams coming from the room. What are you doing?”

“Defending our generation. The young ones teamed up against me.” Brian called dodging another tickling attack.

The three of them finally stilled, breathing heavily.

“The twins are up.” Lindsay said.

“Yes, we know.” Justin confirmed. “They have been for almost half an hour. I’ll go get them as soon as I’ve visited the bathroom.”

“They’re just waiting for you to pick them up?” Lindsay asked. “No crying?”

“They don’t cry all that much. And that’s the great thing about having twins – they always have company.” Brian told her, rolling out of bed and turning back to Gus. “Can you wait for Justin and the girls before opening your present?” He asked his son.

“Yes. Can I get Alex?” Gus asked.

“Sure. But wait for Justin. You can’t lift her from her bed on your own.”

“Okay.” Gus agreed and went to the girls’ nursery to wait for Justin to join him.

“What did you get him?” Lindsay asked when Gus was out of earshot.

“A photo camera plus basic photographer’s equipment, tripod, stuff like that. Nothing too fancy yet.”

“Wow. He’ll love it. You know he’s been talking about becoming a photographer for years.”

Brian shrugged. “Justin’s idea. We thought he was over it but last summer, when you and Gus came to visit and he and Justin came to Kinnetik, Justin showed him the art department. Gus really seemed to like the photographing unit. Guess it’s not just a phase.”

“We’ll see.” Lindsay said smiling.

The telephone rang and Brian went to answer it.

“Brian, this is Arianna. Can I talk to Justin?”

“Hold on, I’ll try to get him.” He went to the door leading into the bathroom and opened it. Justin was brushing his teeth and looked up. “Arianna. She wants to talk to you.”

Justin reached for the phone and Brian gave it to him, exiting the bathroom.

“Arianna, hi, what’s up?”

“Justin. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you, too. Where are you?”

“I’m spending the holidays at my family’s house in Phoenix. I got news for you.”

“Positive, I hope.”

“I hope so too, we’ll see. What would you say to a showing of your pencil drawings?” She asked with an insecure tone in her voice.

“I’ve never thought about it, to be honest. Pencil drawings are not exactly what the art world fawns about.” Justin admitted.

“I know. But yours are magnificent. And so few people know that you draw. It will be like a whole new layer of Justin Taylor. I thought we could do a few walls with drawings and on one wall we’ll show drawings that have been preliminaries to your smaller canvases. What do you say? This way we not only show a new side to your genius but also get a foot in the door with small scale paintings. So?” She paused, waiting for his reaction, and Justin could almost hear her biting her lip nervously.

“Where?” Justin asked in a breathy voice. He was already hooked on the idea.

“McCormack, Chicago. Solo show in February.”

“Wow. Fuck.” He breathed.

“This a good ‘fuck’?” She laughed, relieved that Justin seemed to like the idea just as much as she did.

“The best.” Justin told her. “Arianna, this is great. This is one of the best Christmas presents ever.”

“Happy to oblige.” She said. “I’ll email you the details?”

“Yes, please do. And thank you. This really is great.”

“Yeah, let’s hope the art critics think so too.”

They ended the call and Justin left the bathroom to get his daughters. When he passed Brian on his way out he stopped to whisper in his ear, “I’m so going to fuck your brains out tonight.”

Brian felt himself grow hard instantly and tried to suppress the smile that was threatening to crawl over his face. Lindsay watched Brian’s reaction and wondered what it was that Justin had told him. She knew better than to ask though.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian made his way upstairs and into the master’s bedroom. Now that most of the Christmas craze was over, he and Lindsay had found a minute for a talk to resolve the issues that had been brought up days ago. They had managed to find a compromise that suited the both of them. But now Brian felt emotionally drained and was anxious to get into bed and have Justin curl up beside him. He stepped through the double winged door of the bedroom, and had to smile at the picture that presented itself to him. 

Brian had left Justin alone with the twins as the blond had made himself comfortable against the headrest of the bed to read a goodnight story to the girls. Apparently the story worked well. Justin must have fallen asleep while reading, a dozing Emma on his chest. Only, it seemed, Alex had still been awake and was now attempting to spread the duvet over Justin and Emma, just like she had watched her daddies do countless times.

Brian walked slowly towards the bed and carefully picked up Alex. “You taking good care of your daddy and sister, sweetheart? They’re very high maintenance, aren’t they? Come on, we’ll get you into your bed.”

“’Em-ma?”

“Emma too. But we’ll take care of you first, okay? You wanna give your daddy a goodnight kiss?” Brian bent down so Alex could press a sloppy kiss on Justin’s cheek. He took her into the nursery before he went to pick up the sleeping Emma. When both of the girls were tucked away neatly in their respective beds, he walked back into the master bedroom.

He stood towering over the sleeping form of Justin for a few moments, debating whether to let him sleep or wake him. The blond must have felt that he was being watched because soon he began to stir and opened his eyes.

He yawned widely and asked, “The girls?”

“Asleep.” Brian tilted his head and looked provocatively at his partner. “I believe you have a promise to keep.”

Justin was awake in seconds and happy to oblige.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian woke from his post-orgasmic slumber to find himself alone in the huge bed. The bedroom was dark; the only light coming in was a blue-ish sliver of moonshine, streaming in through the French windows. Brian’s gaze caught the outline of his lover’s form huddled in one of the chairs on the balcony outside. He climbed out the bed and slipped his arms into a black satin bathrobe before stepping into the freezing cold night. 

“Hey.”

Justin raised his head to look at his partner. “Hey.” He said back.

“You okay?” Brian asked.

“Better than okay.” Justin confirmed.

“Then what are you doing here?” Brian asked, rubbing his arms against the stinging cold.

Justin opened the thick woolen blanket, revealing his naked body, and Brian stepped into the offered warmth, slipping behind Justin and placing the smaller man between his legs. The blond wrapped the blanket tightly around them both, before answering.

“It’s such a beautiful night. I didn’t want to miss it.” He motioned with his head towards the sky and Brian followed his line of vision.

The dark winter sky stretched above them like silken bed sheets. Millions of stars arranged themselves around a full moon, illuminating the night, making the blond in Brian’s arms glow with atmospheric luminosity. Brian’s eyes were riveted on his lover, taking in the sight of him and the almost unnatural radiance.

After a few minutes of silence, Justin broke the peaceful quiet, whispering, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Brian agreed, still not able to take his eyes off his partner.

Justin turned slightly in his arms, craning his neck to press a soft kiss onto Brian’s lips and smiled brightly.

“Are you sad to see Gus leave tomorrow?” Justin asked quietly.

“He’ll be back.” Brian said referring to the talk he had earlier that day with Lindsay.

 

>>><<<

 

  
A few hours earlier

“Did you talk to Melanie?” Brian asked Lindsay, sitting down beside her on the couch in front of the fireplace. They’d all just come back from Debbie’s where they’d had a long and extensive lunch. Justin, sensing that Brian and Lindsay needed some privacy to talk, had offered to entertain the kids and get them into bed, so Brian poured himself a shot of Beam and sought Lindsay out in the living room.

“Yes, we had a very long talk. I told her about what Justin suggested.” She hesitated for a moment. “Mel wasn’t excited. She thinks this is exactly the reason we didn’t work out in Canada. She said I was unwilling to commit to our new life there because what I really wanted was to go back to Pittsburgh.” Lindsay rattled off the information in a rapid and monotone voice.

“Did you?”

“I cannot deny that I want my son to have a father. I don’t think that’s wrong.”

“It’s not.” Brian told her, swirling the liquid in his tumbler. “So the question remains – what are you going to do?”

Lindsay sighed. “I don’t know, Bri. I really don’t know.”

“Then let me ask another question: What do you want?”

“I want Mel and me to be happy again. I’m not sure though if we can be happy _together_.” She admitted in a whispered tone.

Brian remained silent. He had a tingling that Lindsay had already made her decision. It was simply a matter of time for her to realize it. He was willing to wait.

“I think I want to come home, Brian.” She admitted in a small voice. “But how can I leave her there alone with JR?” She began sobbing quietly and Brian scooted closer, pulling her to him with an arm draped across her shoulders.

“Mel is a free person. She can come back too if she wants. You’re not responsible for her decisions and you cannot completely give up on what you want, for her, to appease her.”

“I know that.” Lindsay nodded while sobs continued to wreck her body. “In theory, I know that. There’s a difference however if you’re forced to live it.”

“I know.” Brian said quietly.

Lindsay was suddenly aroused from her own misery by Brian’s intonation. She pulled back a little to look at him and tried to analyze what she saw reflected on his face. His gaze was lost somewhere in memories of past events, wrapped up in sadness too apparent in the hazel eyes to mistake for something else. Brian would know the gravity of acting on his beliefs, she realized. According to Brian’s understanding of love, you were not to sacrifice your dreams and goals for the sake of harmony or the person you claimed to love. Even if occasionally it meant to let go. For the first time, she was able to grasp the enormity of this maxim. She reminded herself that he had let go of Justin at a time when they were happiest together. The difference was that, somehow, surprising the hell out of everyone who knew them, Brian and Justin had managed to make it work; to stay together.

She shook her head slightly as this comprehension dawned.

“I can’t get over the fact that it’s you and Justin that are still together and strong, after ten years. It was supposed to be Melanie and me.” She murmured. “Pretty bad thing to think, huh?”

Brian shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t care. He never believed Justin and him would last this long, why would others?

Lindsay rested her head on Brian’s outstretched arm. They remained quiet for the longest time before Lindsay straightened up a little and spoke in a clear voice. “I’m going to let Gus finish his school year in Toronto. I hope we find something in Pittsburgh by the time his summer vacation rolls around.”

Brian released a breath he felt he had been holding for the last couple of days, or maybe five years.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“I’m not doing it for you only, Brian.” Her face became hard all of a sudden. “If I don’t do it, I’m going to lose him too.”

“What?! Why would you say that?” Brian demanded to know.

Lindsay contemplated for a moment how to put her fears into words before answering his question. “Because you’re his dad, and all the people we know rely on you. And he’s old enough to realize that. And because he’s now in an age where he desperately needs a male role model, a father.” She paused, trying to collect herself and keep the bitterness out of her voice. “You have this beautiful home with stables and a pool. You don’t have to go into an office every day. Neither does Justin. You have lots of time to spend with him whenever he’s here. And yes, money, too.” She shook her head, surprising herself with her honesty. “You’ve got time and money to take him places. It’s no wonder he loves coming here, is it?”

“You’re not going to lose him.” Brian tried to soothe her.

“Yes, I will. It’s already begun.”

Brian raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

“He wants your name, Brian.” Lindsay admitted in a defeated tone. “Do you have any idea how often I had teachers from his school call me to ask if there has been a mistake in their files because Gus claims his name is Kinney?” Lindsay laughed mirthlessly. “So I’m coming back. And I hope that by sharing him with you, he’ll want to be a Peterson again.”

Brian stood up from the couch and pulled Lindsay with him. She reminded him so much of the young girl that he first met in college in that moment. He pulled her into his arms and held her close, hoping to provide a strong shoulder she could lean on. They had lost a huge part of their friendship somewhere along the way and Brian was resolute about getting it back.

Lindsay allowed herself to be held by Brian’s strong embrace and murmured into his chest, “I don’t know how I got here. Everything is falling apart.”

“Nothing is falling apart.” Brian contradicted. “Some threads just came loose but we’re going to stitch them back together. Nothing is lost yet.” He continued to hold her, reassuring again and again that it was going to work out. He didn’t mention his own business plans which would require him to leave the city right when his son was coming back.

“Let me talk to Gus, okay?”

Brian nodded in agreement. “But I’m going to tell Justin.”

 

>>><<<

 

  
Present, December 2010

“She’s moving back.” Justin stated when Brian finished replaying his talk with Lindsay.

“You were sure she would?” Brian asked.

“I wasn’t. But she has no reason to stay. And every reason to come back.”

Brian nodded into Justin’s neck and placed a feather-light kiss on the soft skin. He was happy to have Gus close again. He just hoped Lindsay wouldn’t resent him one day for her decision.

“You know, you can let go of those brooding thoughts.” Justin snuggled closer into Brian’s arms, tightening the blanket around them. “It’s gonna work out for the best, you’ll see. Stop expecting phantoms behind every turn.”

Brian smiled slightly – the blond knew him well – and continued to watch his breath form misty clouds in the cold air.


	24. Chapter 24

Present, February 2011

It was February and the upcoming week had every potential to either suck majorly or be one of the best weeks ever. Both, Brian and Justin, had important business issues to attend. Fortunately, in the sea of chaos, they were able to schedule their engagements in a way that allowed them to travel together – to Chicago first, and then on a direct flight from Chicago to New York.

Justin was nervous as hell about his show and was fidgeting in his seat of the rented limousine. Why Brian insisted on ordering a limousine he didn’t know but was secretly happy when Brian reached over to the minibar and passed him a drink to calm his nerves.

“Stop fidgeting, Sunshine. You’re going to get wrinkles all over your new suit.” Brian told him, placing a palm over his leg that the blond had been tapping in a newly acquired nervous habit.

“I’m nervous.” Justin stated the obvious.

“I can see that. Why? You haven’t been this nervous before your first solo show.”

“It was different then. Not many people knew me then. If my art had sucked, it wouldn’t have been too big a loss. People would have just forgotten what little something they heard about Justin Taylor. People know me now, Brian. I don’t want to disappoint.”

“You won’t. You’re smart, you’re funny,” Justin smiled when Brian started counting off his many features, “you’re talented, you have a huge cock and a nice ass—“

Justin’s smile only spread wider when he inserted, “Somehow I don’t think that will weigh much with the critics.”

Brian ignored the interruption. “And you’re with me.” He concluded and Justin tried to glare at him but failed because a smile was still tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“So, even if they hate my drawings they’ll still have something beautiful to look at, huh?” Justin concluded.

“Exactly.”

Justin laughed and leaned over to receive a soft kiss. Brian always knew how to distract him.

“Brian?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you call Debbie?”

They left the girls in the care of Debbie and Carl. Emmett had also promised to look in on them. And even though it wasn’t the first time they had needed to leave the kids with the family, it felt different now. The older the twins got, the more they were able to communicate with them, the more difficult it was to leave them behind. Even for shorter periods of time than the almost one week Justin and Brian would be gone this time.

“Sunshine, do you want to bring them next time?” Brian asked in turn, instead of giving a reply.

“You mean to the art show? They’re too small for that, Brian.”

“No, I meant with us, to the city, whatever city it might be next time. I’m sure Trish wouldn’t mind travelling with us.”

“Hmm,” Justin had to think about that. “Maybe not for the short trips, when we’re only gone a few days. But I think I’d really like them with us if we’re leaving town for longer periods of time.” Justin admitted.

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Mr. Taylor, Mr. Kinney, we’re here.” The driver interrupted through the intercom.

“Fuck. Fuck.” Justin tried to take deep breaths. Brian pressed his lips against the blond’s temple and stepped out of the car when the door was being held open, pulling Justin out behind him.

 

>>><<<

 

  
The gallery manager and Arianna, who acted not only as Justin’s agent and manager, but also as a spokesperson for her client, had arranged Justin’s drawings along the off-white painted walls of the gallery, following seemingly no particular pattern. To add to the impression created by the drawings, they were hung atop a colored sheet of paper that acted like a framing; the background color of every sheet was carefully chosen to accentuate the drawing’s emotion. 

They had excessively discussed the order in which the drawings should be displayed and discarded a chronological order as well as an order by theme. Looking over the sketches he had made over the last ten years, Justin finally decided to sort them by the amount of detail that went into it. The effect that was achieved by the decision was phenomenal.

Some of the works on display were unfinished pencil drawings, others intricate works full of detail and dedication. The story the entirety of them were telling was one of a person struggling to regain control not only over a very obvious and overflowing talent but also over basic motor functions. For those people who knew Justin’s story, some of the abandoned and unfinished pieces were painful to look at. As Brian walked along the exhibits with Justin at his side, his heart clenched seeing his own face, hands, neck, back, and various other body parts depicted in varying stages of completion and attention to detail. He pressed the blond’s body closer to his and kept walking. They passed several drawings of inanimate objects, light and shadow studies, and stopped in front of a drawing that showed a view over Pittsburgh from Brian’s loft on a grey and rainy day. Next to it hung an extremely detailed piece depicting an arm slung over a narrow waist, the hand relaxed and possessive at the same time.

Brian raised an eyebrow questioningly at Justin when he noticed a small plate underneath it which said, ‘ _Not For Sale – Artist’s Private Collection’_.

“The first time I woke up with your arm around me.” Justin explained. “You were still asleep, so I grabbed my sketch book from the night table and began sketching it.”

“You never showed me.”

“I didn’t want you to freak out and push me away just because you were holding me when you slept. Eventually I forgot it existed. I found it again when I was going through my sketches with Arianna.”

Brian pondered what Justin had said. The blond was right. Back then every sign of intimacy would have scared the hell out of him and made him do something to push Justin away. Even years later the thought of commitment would still have made Brian cringe. Not because he didn’t want it but because he thought he couldn’t keep it. Keep Justin. Justin could have stayed forever, but that was just the thing – Brian used to believe that he wouldn’t. As much as Justin’s art had fascinated him, it had scared him just as much. Because that was where Justin belonged. Seeing him leave for New York was the only logical thing. He belonged in the world of colors – it was his home. Brian would never be able to make him stay. So he thought then. He learned to believe differently now.

Justin’s hand snaked around his waist. “You’re still with me?”

“Always.” Brian answered.

Justin gave him a long look through slightly narrowed eyes. “Let the past rest, Brian.” He squeezed his arm firmer around Brian’s middle and laid an open palm on Brian’s stomach. Brian bent down to kiss his forehead and Justin rested his head on Brian’s shoulder, reveling in the closeness of the man. They stood watching Justin’s works as a reporter approached the couple.

“Mr. Taylor, I wanted to congratulate you on this show. What an unexpected experience it is! Such raw and immediate emotions – truly remarkable.” The critic gushed.

Brian disentangled himself from Justin so the reporter could conduct the interview he was lusting after. Justin sent him a regretful smile and focused on the man in front of him, trying to answer his questions as honestly as he could. They talked about the choice of shown works and some individual pieces in particular. For the more general questions concerning the preparatory phase of the exhibition Justin directed him to Arianna.

When he was finished he scanned the room for Brian but before he could walk over to where he spotted him, Arianna intercepted his way.

“There’s a Mr. Langston Meyers who wants to talk to you.” She pointed discreetly at the back of a middle-aged man who was studying Justin’s drawings very carefully.

“Langston Meyers?” Justin whispered excitedly. “But he’s from the New York Times!”

“I believe you’re right.” Arianna nodded amused.

“But we’re in Chicago.” Justin pointed out unnecessarily. “What’s he doing in Chicago?”

“When a Justin Taylor has a solo show the art world comes running.” Arianna grinned. “It’s one of those mountain comes to Mohammed kind of things.” She pushed Justin lightly in the direction of the chief art critic of one of the most influential papers in the country. When leaving, Justin heard her muttered, “God, I love my job.”

“Has the New Yorker art world angered you somehow, Mr. Taylor?” Mr. Meyers asked with a slightly snobbish, but humorous smirk instead of a greeting. Justin thought he heard a very faint British accent coloring his voice.

Justin had to laugh at that. “Not at all. Why would you say that?”

“First you leave our beautiful city, then you leave your agent, and now you go all the way to Chicago to show these masterpieces. Have you been hiding them all these years?” He asked before finally introducing himself. “Langston Meyers, New York Times.”

Justin shook his hand. “Not hiding. Just waiting for someone to be interested in them.”

“I’ll admit it’s not what one expects when hearing the name Justin Taylor. On second thought, you never were one to go with the flow. Whatever the case, you chose the time well.”

“What do you mean?” Justin asked, unsure about that last statement.

“I mean that it’s been time that someone shed a light on your persona. You’re quite a mystery, you know that, young man?”

“I am?” Justin asked again, somehow perplexed because he was pretty sure he was supposed to be the one with the answers when an interview was being conducted.

“Your personal life is kept better guarded than that of some politicians. Until now, that is.”

“And this show changed it?” Justin concluded in a half-question, half-statement.

Mr. Meyers chose not to answer but glanced back to the opposite wall where his drawings-turned-paintings hung. Justin followed his line of sight before turning to look back at the man.

“Very well.” Mr. Meyers suddenly proclaimed, as if getting to the business part of the conversation. “Your lovely manager provided me with the facts, your art told me the rest. I guess there’s only one question left for me to ask you, Mr. Taylor.”

Justin looked expectantly in his eyes.

“The art world has been privy to your talent for over five years now. This show displays works from a time even prior to your great debut and confirms what I had always suspected. So let me ask you: How do you keep your muses entertained, in this state of constant productivity?”

>>><<<

 

  
Justin lay back on the bed and waited for further instructions, shivering slightly in anticipation. He watched as Brian slowly undressed himself while pinning Justin with his stare. The older man’s eyes didn’t leave Justin’s for even a second. When the brunet was naked, he stepped up to the bed and leaned with his shoulder against one of the bedposts. 

“Pull up your knees and place your feet flat on the mattress.” Brian ordered. Justin complied. “Spread them.” Justin did and Brian could see his legs tremble. The blond was so hard his erection was straining from his body and pointing towards the ceiling. Brian watched as a drop of pre-cum emerged on the glistening tip and felt his half-hard cock grow to its full size. When he lifted his eyes to Justin’s, he saw that the blond was watching the brunet’s cock raise up, mesmerized by the view and licking his lips unconsciously. Brian gripped the bedpost with his right hand and squeezed tightly around it to keep himself from pouncing on the blond wonder spread out before his eyes.

“More. Spread them wider. As far as you can go.”

Justin repositioned his feet to accommodate his stretched thighs better. He felt the cool air move across his exposed hole and whimpered, imagining it was Brian’s tongue stroking him. He couldn’t pull his eyes away from Brian’s dark red erection and his hole contracted involuntarily as he watched his lover.

Brian stared at the winking opening. The desire to lick it was overwhelming.

“Grab the bottle from the nightstand and lube your right hand.” Justin did as he was told. “Take your dick with your left and hold it still. Don’t jerk off. Just hold it in your fist.” Brian felt heady. Justin following each of his commands was like the purest drug he had ever tasted. He waited and watched as the blond grew increasingly impatient, the hand around his dick twitching to tug or squeeze. Brian wanted him to get crazy just feeling the heat of his palm around his dick. When he thought Justin couldn’t take it any longer, he allowed him to move his hand slowly.

“Now put your lubed index finger on your hole. Circle it. Slowly!” Brian admonished and Justin executed his request. “Push it in. Just the tip.” Justin moaned, wanting to push the finger deeper.

“Stroke your cock. Now push your finger in all the way. Fuck yourself on your finger, Justin.”

Justin followed every direction, pressing his hips onto his finger. He felt embarrassed at how much he enjoyed complying with Brian’s orders but at the same time was incredibly turned on by the situation.

Brian saw the flush of shame creep over Justin’s features but the blond didn’t stop his movements and Brian took in the wanton image. God, he loved this boy.

“Add another finger.” Brian managed to choke out. His voice almost broke; his heart was beating so fast. The visual of Justin’s hole stretching to accommodate two of his fingers, the quivering muscles, made Brian release a groan he was holding. Justin heard the confirmation of Brian’s yearning and doubled his efforts, pushing his fingers faster in and out of his body, twisting them on every in-stroke. He bit on his lower lip to keep the smile from emerging when he heard Brian’s breathing hitch in response.

“Insert another one. And go slow.” Brian ordered.

As Justin struggled to take a third finger he threw back his head on the pillow, losing himself in the sensations. He closed his eyes and concentrated on all the emotions running through his body. Justin was dimly aware of Brian moving across the room but was too far gone to follow his actions. He only reacted and opened his eyes again when he heard the lust-filled deep tone command to stop all his ministrations.

“I said stop, Justin!” Brian repeated when Justin was reluctant to let go of his hard-on. He had been so close. Finally, he did as he was told and dropped his hands on either side of his body.

“Good boy.” Brian praised him and Justin felt himself turning red but was quickly distracted when Brian gave further instructions.

“Pick up the lube, smear it around your opening.” Brian watched Justin squeeze a generous amount directly onto his ass. “Work it in.” And observed as Justin pushed down and his nimble fingers pushed some of the clear, thick liquid into the open gap.

“Pick up the object on your right.”

Justin turned his head and saw an oddly shaped toy lying beside his shoulder. He reached for it. It was black, made of acrylic plastic with a silky surface that felt soft to the touch. Its curved shaft was ribbed, thicker in the middle, and ended in a pebble shaped head. Two handles on the base gave it a somewhat corkscrew-like appearance. One of them bent away from the main part, the other had a metallic roller ball embedded in the tip. When Justin touched it, he discovered it was moving easily in his socket.

“Its name is Titus. It’s a prostate massager.” Brian explained watching Justin examine his new toy.

Justin looked up and into Brian’s eyes, then back to the toy in his hand.

When Brian thought Justin had calmed down enough from his previous ministrations not to come on the spot, he told him, “Go on. Try it. I wanna see you take it.”

Justin shivered at those words but moved the toy to his entrance nonetheless. He placed the pebble-shaped head on his hole and pushed the tip inside.

“More.” Brian commanded.

Justin pressed farther and felt the first ripples move along his smooth inner muscles. He sighed with pleasure and halted his movements, clenching his muscle around the tapered part just under the tip. Brian watched him licking his lips. He purposefully got the rippled version because he knew how much Justin liked some stimulation on his hole.

“More.” He demanded again.

Justin grabbed the handle and pushed the toy further inside. The rippled shaft thickened and Brian watched in fascination as Justin’s hole stretched to take the black tool. The contrast of the dark toy and Justin’s creamy white ass with its reddening hole made saliva pool in Brian’s mouth and he swallowed hard. Justin was panting heavily now. The double stimulation of Brian commanding his body and sending him lust-filled gazes combined with the pleasure from the toy being inserted into his opening made him gasp for air. He stopped again to catch his breath, the widest part of the toy’s shaft stretching him. But Brian had other ideas.

“More. Shove it inside, Justin. All of it.”

Justin took two deep breaths and pushed the toy all the way inside, burying it in his body to the hilt. He cried out, the intense feeling pushing his head off his pillow. The free moving metal ball pressed on his perineum, stimulating his prostate from the outside while, at the same time, the head of the toy was pushing directly against his prostate from the inside. Justin keened, his mouth open wide gulping for air even more than before.

“Move it.” Brian pressed mercilessly.

“Brian… I can’t… I’m… It’s too…” Justin protested.

Brian made his voice soft. “Relax. Then move it.” He was adamant.

Justin got a better grip on the handle at the base of the device and braced himself for the onslaught of sensations he knew were coming. He was afraid he would pass out from the sheer bliss the toy and Brian effected on his body. He pulled the massager out an inch and rammed it back inside, his hips lifting off the bed, his back arching wide. He repeated the motion once and collapsed on the mattress not able to do this to himself one more time.

Brian stared in rapt wonder at the wantonness that was his blond boy. His body writhed delicately on the dark sheets in unknown throws of ecstasy. He saw the hand of the blond that had been gripping the toy go slack and knew Justin was in no condition to continue with the self-ministrations. His cock was so hard, it had turned almost purple and Brian found that his own hard-on wasn’t better off. He moved towards the bed, crawling on all fours towards the heaving blond.

He placed his palms on the backs of Justin’s thighs and pushed them towards Justin’s body.

“Hold them up.”

Justin opened his eyes and took in the sight of his lover cowering above him. He summoned the strength to lift up his arms and reached under his knees to hold his legs pressed up against his body while Brian took a hold of the lever and moved the toy, making circling motions inside the blond’s slack body. The tip of the toy rubbed against Justin’s prostate and the metallic ball was massaging his perineum. All the air was pressed from the blond’s lungs when every of Brian’s movements made white dollops of come appear on the purple cock head and roll down the steel-hard shaft. Brian milked Justin’s prostate until the blond begged him to stop.

“Please. Please, Brian, please. Let me come. Oh, God--.” He felt like his brain would melt and start to drip out of his ears if he didn’t come right that second.

Brian finally had pity on his young lover and started to pump the toy in and out of his body vigorously. while at the same time tugging on Justin’s cock with his other hand. The blond was coming in no time, shooting in high fountains that decorated his chest and thrown back neck while deep guttural sounds erupted from deep within his throat.

Brian let go of the black toy then and rubbed a palm soothingly across the lower abdomen of the artist, helping him to come down. It took Justin almost five minutes to be able to form any thought again and to regain control of his muscles. When he opened his eyes he found Brian’s gaze wandering over his wantonly splayed body.

Brian couldn’t stop his eyes roaming the sight stretching before him. Justin had let go of his legs and they laid spread wide, the toy still lodged in his crack, the spent cock resting on his left thigh. One hand was stretched over the sweaty forehead while the other lay across his stomach, squishing some of his cum. The blond strands were wet with perspiration and stood up from his head in various directions. Justin’s lips, red from all the chewing and biting, glistening with sweat and saliva, were parted, the tip of his tongue resting on the lower lip. He was so fucking beautiful Brian’s breath hitched. His debauched, angel-like creature.

When Brian felt Justin emerge from the post-orgasmic bliss, he reached for the massager again.

“No!” Justin cried out and made to grab Brian’s wrist to stop him.

“Shh. I’m going to remove it, that’s all.” He assured the blond.

He started to gently pull the shaft from Justin’s body. The blond’s muscles were still clenching down on the toy, so Brian matched the rhythm of the clasp and release to remove the device. He would slowly pull out an inch every time the blond would unclench. Justin hissed at every movement, the rippled surface providing more stimulation than he was able to take at the moment. When the tip finally slid out with a wet pop, he took a relieved breath and sighed.

“Okay?” Brian asked.

Justin waited a few seconds then nodded. “Don’t put it away too far. I think I want to use it again soon.” He finally muttered. “On you this time.” He added after a moment.

Brian didn’t respond but pulled the blond to him, kissing his forehead. Justin felt Brian’s erection pressing against his thigh and was reminded of the fact that Brian hadn’t come yet. He reached for the hard-on but Brian batted his hand away.

“I can take care of it myself. You rest.”

“Hmmm. Okay.” Justin agreed sleepily. Then, more awake, added. “Can I watch?”

Brian grinned and began to work his fist up and down his neglected cock. It didn’t take him long to climax. And when he did, his eyes were riveted on Justin’s as the blond stared unblinkingly while Brian sprayed the artist’s chest with cum, right where only minutes before Justin released himself.

Sated, both men fell asleep, not caring for the mess they’d made.


	25. Chapter 25

Present, February 2011

“A constant surprise would probably best describe the tremendous talent of young Justin Taylor.” Brian smirked and looked up from the art section in today’s paper. “Young? Just because you look fifteen doesn’t mean you are. You’re closer to thirty than I am to—“ Brian stopped, realizing what number he was about to say aloud. Justin threw his head back and laughed at that. Throwing a frowning glance in Justin’s direction, Brian continued to read aloud, “While New York continues to fawn over contemporary expressionist large-scales, the artist who brought the hype to New York, almost unbeknownst to all, currently exhibits much more personal and intimate works in a prestigious gallery in Chicago, IL.” Brian finished.

“Yeah, I already read it, okay? In fact, you saw me read it.” Justin yawned. He and Brian had just boarded the plane to New York and Justin hoped to doze for at least an hour since he hadn’t gotten too much sleep last night.

Brian continued to read the rest of the article to himself until he came to the very last part which he read aloud again. “When asked what fuels his muse, Mr. Taylor smiles and looks across the room until his eyes meet their target before he answers. ‘ _The desire to create – whether it was to draw or paint or something else – was always there. Since I can remember. But there was this one night, or morning actually, over ten years ago when I woke up and needed to draw. So I did. I was sketching like a madman, anxious to capture all the emotions and memories on paper before they eluded me. Except they didn’t. No matter how much I drew, or painted. There was always this impulse… no, more than that,’_ he adds with a distant look on his face, ‘ _It’s more like an urge raging inside of me. Some five years later I finally accepted that this passion running rampant in my body was not going to go away. It’s become a part of me.’_ And his art, one wants to add. He tries not to smile at the question as to whether he wants to reveal the secret about that mysterious night/morning and offers as an answer the following: ‘ _It’s not mine alone to share.’_ ”

Justin had listened with closed eyes and opened them to look at Brian when he was finished. He looked quietly at him, neither man talking for a few minutes, just looking at each other.

Finally, Brian smirked and said, “That good, huh?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Justin punched him playfully on the arm and Brian leaned over to place a soft kiss on Justin’s ear, whispering, “Me, too, twat.”

 

 

>>><<<

 

  
“How many properties are we looking at today?” Brian asked Cynthia. 

Brian and Justin had arrived in New York only a couple of hours earlier and had a cab take them to their hotel. Justin had spent most of the time dozing while Brian took a shower and met Cynthia who had flown in from Pittsburgh.

The last couple of days Cynthia had been busy researching office spaces and setting up appointments with realtors. The next few days would be packed since Brian didn’t want to stay in New York too long. She was also able to accommodate a few open slots in the busy schedule following Justin’s wishes, though she wasn’t too sure what those were about.

“Sunshine?” Brian roused the sleeping form of the blond.

“Hmm?” He scrunched up his nose and forced himself to wake up.

“Cynthia and I are going to leave soon. You wanted me to tell you.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks. I’ll just need five minutes.”

“Wouldn’t you rather stay here? Go back to sleep.”

“No, I want to come with you.”

Brian nodded. There was no sense in arguing with a stubborn blond, he knew that. Secretly though, he was happy that Justin decided to come along. He wanted his opinion when he decided on an office space for the new Kinnetik branch.

The rest of the afternoon was spent walking and viewing several buildings and office floors, most of which were dismissed during the first ten minutes by Brian because of their location. The office spaces on and around Madison Avenue were not only costly but Brian disliked the lack of cutting-edge quality. New York already had more than enough ordinary, run of the mill ad agencies. If Kinnetik expected to even stand a chance of making it here, they needed something that screamed ‘In your face!’ to the dozens of other agencies.

“You sure you don’t want me to start looking for bathhouses and saunas?” Cynthia only half-joked on their third day of office-hunting.

Brian was getting frustrated. He didn’t expect to find the right place right away; however he wasn’t ready to compromise the ‘outside the box’ image Kinnetik had made for itself. He also knew the only way to succeed in New York was to surprise his clients from the get-go. And that usually started with the building where they would first meet their prospective clients. He needed someplace special that would set Kinnetik apart from the hundreds of other New York based ad agencies. If he was totally honest, Brian also liked the idea of making them come to him, so Madison Avenue and almost ninety percent of Manhattan’s office space were out of question.

Brian let Cynthia take the afternoon off as he and Justin were headed to an appointment Justin had kept secret because he wanted to surprise Brian. They sat in a cab while Brian looked out the window at the passing streets, contemplating his real estate choices so far. When the cabbie pulled up to a building in front of a busy street, Justin got out of the car and pulled Brian with him.

Understanding gradually dawning on Brian’s face, he smiled and followed Justin inside the building. They went to up to the top floor and Justin unlocked the door to an apartment that was very reminiscent of the loft.

“Where are we?” Brian asked though he guessed he knew the answer.

“Hopefully, if we like it, our new temporary home.” Justin replied. “I asked Mom to recommend a few good realtors and they’ve come up with a few really good choices. I had them send me loads of pictures and information. This is my favorite.”

Brian smiled and they walked around the place. There was one huge living room with an adjoining open kitchen which reminded Brian of the loft they had in Pittsburgh. The difference was that a spiral staircase led to another balcony-like floor where three doors were located, each of which led to a separate bedroom; two with adjoining small bathrooms, one with a bigger master bathroom.

On the other side of the living room spacious balcony doors led to a rooftop terrace, towards where Justin pulled Brian. The view was spectacular and they stood outside for a while, watching the streets of Manhattan.

“This must cost a fortune.” Brian finally said.

“We’re only staying for a year at the most, right? I think we can manage.” Justin said with a smile. With Justin’s art, Babylon, and Kinnetik they were in no financial need, even if the planned New York office would turn out to cost more than planned, which Brian seriously doubted. Ted was a very competent accountant and investment advisor, Brian had to give him that much.

“So—“ Brian sighed, addressing what seemed to be the foremost issue, “three bedrooms?”

Justin grinned and turned Brian around so they were looking in the opposite direction than before. He stretched out an arm and pointed to a place just barely visible in the smog clouded distance. “See that?” He asked. “That’s the NYU campus.”

Brian turned his head slowly to face Justin, a wide grin spreading on his face. “No.” He stretched the ‘O’ in disbelief.

“Yes.” Justin answered with an equally wide grin.

“Does she know?”

“Not yet.”

“She’s gonna freak. There’s probably gonna be squeaking involved.”

“Probably.” Justin agreed. “So, you like?” Justin asked, a little unsure.

“It’s perfect.”

>>><<<

 

  
They were flying high on E, a couple of JB shots, the endorphins of at least one successful real estate transaction, and the closeness of each other when they returned to their hotel room. Having celebrated sufficiently in various backrooms of New York’s most exclusive gay clubs, they were impatient to continue their party in a more private, and more relaxed, atmosphere. Brian had spent a shitload of money on pot he managed to acquire from the bouncer of the last establishment they had graced with their presence. The man had promised them it was the best they’d ever tried. 

Justin let his body sag into the sofa cushions as soon as they were through the door of their suite. Brian fixed and lit up a joint, taking a deep drag. He held the smoke in his lungs, letting the chemicals work. Justin reached blindly from where he lay on his back, across from Brian. The brunet passed the joint along and they cordially shared the smoke, enjoying the silence after all the loud thumping of the clubs.

Predictably, Justin was the first to finally break the silence.

“Brian, I never fell.” He said with an urgency in his voice that he would usually get after a night of heavy drinking or consumption of mind-expanding substances.

Brian rolled his eyes in mocked exasperation. Justin on drugs was a weird, but strangely informative and entertaining, babbling machine. The disinhibiting nature of the drugs had a slightly different effect on the blond than it had on others because he was used to speak whatever was on his mind, even in a perfectly sober state. Under influence, his overly active mind would release his creativity by way of his mouth instead of his talented fingers.

Brian got comfortable and readied himself for the musings of Justin’s brain, lighting another joint in the process.

“I don’t remember falling. They say you _fall_ in love. But I didn’t. I _flew_. So fucking high.”

“It’s called an orgasm.” Brian supplied, trying to be helpful.

Justin ignored Brian’s comment completely. “I never fell.” He insisted. “I soared. So high up there, I saw the face of God.”

“The face of God, huh?” Brian dryly remarked.

“Yeah. I told Daph his name was Brian Kinney.”

“Uh-huh.” Brian said non-committedly. He wondered if it was Justin’s mind working over hours or if it was something that actually happened. He decided to ask the blond when he was more sober. Better yet, he’d ask Daphne.

“Kinney. Kin-ney. K-in-ney.” Justin let the words roll off his tongue, as if tasting them.

Brian looked on with an amused smirk.

“Kin-ne-tik.“ Justin accentuated every syllable. “Kinnetik New York. Kinnetik NY. Kin-NY.“ The blond suddenly giggled. “Kinney – Kin-NY.”

Brian rested his head in one of his palms, looking at his lover, trying hard not to find him adorable in this state. “How stoned are you?!”

“Very!” Justin answered with a decisive nod.

Brian watched as Justin tried to lift his upper body on his elbows until he finally gave up after several unsuccessful attempts. He lay there, sprawled over the couch, one hand outstretched in Brian’s direction in an idle effort to reach him. Brian sank to his knees and crawled over to the lazy blond. Making room for himself between the artist’s legs, he began to slowly unzip and unbutton his lover’s jeans, taking out the heavy, half-filled cock. Brian lowered his head and enveloped it with his lips, feeling it expand and grow in his mouth. Justin watched lazily, only moving to retrieve one of the sofa cushions behind his head which he handed over to Brian to place under his knees for comfort.

 

>>><<<

 

  
“Brian, I took the liberty to rearrange today’s appointments.” Cynthia proclaimed walking into the suite after Brian and Justin had had breakfast. Both of them had woken up with a heavy head after their night of dancing, drugging, and debauchery. A long shower, complete with mutual blowjobs, revived both their spirits a little. 

Still, Brian was so dumbfounded, that he didn’t have the time to think of an answer while Cynthia just kept on talking. She noticed his bewilderment and continued. “Yeah, same boring shit. You wouldn’t have liked it. Also, I was hoping to get some shopping done, use the opportunity of you springing for a free New York trip; but at the rate we were going, I saw my opportunities die and rot so I decided to step in. We have four appointments today, which I scheduled yesterday afternoon after an extensive internet research. The first is in a former brewery. Can’t imagine what it looks like. Could be interesting.”

Brian gave a short nod at that, struggling to keep up but still slightly flabbergasted.

Cynthia made sure he was listening and continued. “The second is a former museum, used to house the architectural part of the modern museum. It was vacated only a few weeks ago. It’s not even listed as being on the market yet. The third,” she took a breath, “an old movie theater. It’s close to the museum, so I figured we might as well take a look. The last was a butcher’s shop or a slaughter house – not too sure about that.”

“Cynthia, even _I_ am not that morbid.”

“Cancel the fourth?”

“Cancel the fourth.”

“Consider it done. Oh, and Brian?”

“Yes?”

“Ted spread the word that Kinnetik is branching out. You’ve got dozens of applications on your desk from all the top account execs from all the top agencies in New York.”

Brian had to smile at that.

“Justin, I left a message with your sister that you’d like to have dinner with her while you’re in town. She’s probably going to call you back anytime today.”

“Thank you, Cynthia.”

“You’re welcome. Our first appointment is in about one and a half hour. We’re leaving in forty minutes. See you then.”

She waltzed out of the room and Brian and Justin stayed quiet for a moment after she left.

“She’s like a force of nature, don’t you think?” Justin finally said, laughing.

“Resistance is futile.” Brian confirmed.

 

>>><<<

 

  
“This one’s the one.” Brian said upon entering the building that used to house the architectural museum. 

Justin knew the moment they entered the building this would be the one. The architecture of the place was impressive. To fit with the theme of the museum, the place was one open hall made interesting by mezzanine floors and waist-high walls to separate the individual levels, creating the impression of individual smaller rooms while maintaining the feeling of one open space.

“It’s fucking huge.” Justin remarked.

“Yeah, I know. Cynthia, what does our budget say?”

“The monthly rate is more than we were planning to pay. But I already talked to the realtor and contacted a contractor concerning the cost of minor remodeling.”

“Okay. I want to keep it the way it is, mostly. Part of the space will have to be separated to house the art department, another for the accounting and human resources but the rest I want to keep in this open space design. We’ll install retractable glass walls here in the middle to pull up whenever a conference room would be needed. The work should continue all around it.”

Justin seldom saw Brian show enthusiasm this openly; he watched his partner with a smile on his face as he walked from one corner of the enormous hall to the next. He was dictating ideas and orders at Cynthia who struggled to keep up with noting everything on the pad of paper in her hand.

“You got it all?” Brian asked Cynthia when he noticed she had stopped scribbling.

“Slow the fuck down. I’m not a steno typist.” Cynthia told him. “Next time bring your secretary.” But she smiled self-satisfied, happy about Brian’s excitement. “I’ll email you the notes I took and you add whatever you forgot to mention. I’ll go over the plans with Ted and let you know. Now, what about that shopping spree I was planning?”

“Okay, go.” Brian graciously allowed.

“Great. See ya. Bye, Justin.” She turned to go but was held back when Brian called out to her.

“Cynthia?” Brian reached for his wallet and pulled out one of his credit cards. “Get something slutty.” He smirked.

“Gotcha. Thanks, boss.” She smiled wide and left.

Justin watched her walk away and smiled in Brian’s direction. “You’re a good man, Brian Kinney.”

“You want me to prove you wrong, show you how bad I can be, Sunshine? Right now, right here?” Brian asked raising an eyebrow insinuatingly.

“The realtor’s right outside, Brian. She’s going to come in any minute now that she’s seen Cynthia leave.”

Brian pouted which made Justin’s smile widen even more. “You’re no fun. Besides, Cynthia probably told her not to peek inside for the next… at least twenty minutes.”

Justin shook his head. He was not going to be caught by a fifty year old uptight woman who was asked to wait outside while Brian had a first look around. The brunet liked to see the property for himself without the constant chatter of the over-enthusiastic real estate agent sensing a very possible sell. They’d usually arrange for the realtor to wait outside, giving Brian a few minutes before coming in to help with possible questions the three of them might have.

“So, no?” Brian continued not yet giving up on the opportunity of a blow job by the talented blond.

“I promise I’ll blow you when we get back to the hotel.”

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian closed his eyes in perfect contentment and let his body relax completely into the soft sheets beneath him, his arms splayed wide at his sides. He let his senses focus exclusively on the weight of the body above him, allowing Justin to use his body for the blond’s own pleasure. 

Justin slowly lifted his hips letting Brian’s hardness slide out of him then sank down again, allowing the older man’s erection to fill him equally slowly – inch for inch. After a messy blow job on the hotel’s sofa in a chaos of half-shed clothes, and a glorious fuck in the shower after that, both their needs had been satisfied and the couple let themselves stretch out across the bed. Justin’s hand had begun stroking Brian’s fingers with feather light touches which by and by re-ignited their desires. The blond had straddled his partner, moving unhurried and almost lazy. Brian’s body barely moved, the only sign of him registering Justin’s presence above him was the sudden pulsing of his cock. Justin had applied a dollop of lube onto Brian’s erection, squeezing the tube directly over the brunet’s cock head and making the man hiss at the coolness. The blond had positioned his ass so the tip of Brian’s dick was touching his hole and swiveled his hips, smearing the thick liquid around his entrance before carefully letting himself slide down the hard shaft.

They both sighed with pleasure at the contact. When Justin began his very slow and very deliberate up and down movements, a guttural and deep sound that was a cross between a sigh and a moan escaped Brian’s lips and Justin reveled in it. Hearing Brian so perfectly content and relaxed while feeling him so deep inside was goddamned arousing.

Justin kept the pace slow, in no hurry to come. The previous shower action had taken away the urgency and both men enjoyed the serene and tranquil fuck. The blond let his open palms rest on Brian’s chest using his thighs to lift his hips while purposefully avoiding his own sweet spot. They had been at this languorous pace for almost an hour, the need to come building up nicely. Justin let his fingers weave into Brian’s still slightly damp hair drawing tiny circles with his pads on Brian’s scalp. He leaned his upper body forward so their chests pressed together and slid against each other on every stroke, increasing the friction. Brian opened his eyes and found himself held captive by strikingly blue orbs.

Justin kept moving his hips at the same slow pace; the edge of the abyss creeping closer in amazingly tiny increments. A ghost of a thought graced Brian’s mind that he shouldn’t let Justin do all the work, but he couldn’t make himself move or do anything that would disturb the calmness and serenity of the moment. With no moaning, no panting, no squeezing of eyes, no tensing muscles they finally tumbled into the void. But instead of falling, they seemed to float into the nothingness, their orgasms rippling in endless tiny waves across their bodies. Two silent gasps of air were released when the waves finally evened out.

As if by an unspoken agreement they both reached for each other’s lips at the same time sliding their tongues against each other, enjoying the warmth and wetness. Justin’s fingers still entwined in Brian’s hair, the blond used his elbows to pull himself slightly upwards to pepper the brunet’s cheeks, eyes, and forehead with tiny kisses. The movement made Brian’s now half-hard cock slip from Justin’s ass. Brian touched a finger to the blond’s opening feeling the warmth radiate from it.

“Sore?” He asked concerned. “You’ve been at it for quite a while.”

Justin shrugged a little. The increasing friction and temperature had only added to the sensations at the time, but now that his body was coming down and relaxing, he felt a tender roughness.

Brian rolled over and out of bed. He came back only seconds later with a towel in one hand and his toiletry bag in the other. With a soft push of his hand he made Justin roll onto his stomach and spread him to clean the mix of sweat, come, and lube with the warm wet towel. He placed a soft kiss on his reddened pucker before grabbing his toiletry bag. Picking up a small tube of medicinal cooling and healing cream, he rubbed it with light touches on the sore skin folds.

Justin sighed his gratitude and sighed again sleepily when Brian spread his body over his, covering him completely – like a blanket.


	26. Chapter 26

Present, February 2011

Justin snuggled closer into Brian’s chest while the driver took them to the inner city of Pittsburgh. Instead of using a cab, Brian had called the pick-up service he employed for Babylon’s VIPs and customers with big enough pockets. Garry, one of the drivers who were on call today, had picked them up from the airport. Brian had given him Debbie’s address, despite the fact that it was already a few minutes after 10 PM and the Novotny-Horvath household would probably be asleep already.

“Deb? It’s Brian.” The brunet said into his cell when she picked up the phone. “We’re already on our way to your house. Can you have the twins’ things ready? We’re pretty tired and don’t want to linger longer than necessary.”

He paused, listening attentively.

“Of course we’ll be over for tomorrow’s dinner. We have some news to share with the family.”

Again Brian paused. Justin looked up and asked with his eyes what the problem was.

Brian covered the speaker on his phone and whispered, “She’s wondering why we won’t leave the twins with her until tomorrow and pick them up when we get there for dinner.” Then he replied into the phone, “I know it’s late, Deb. And I know they’re already asleep. But we’ve been gone for almost a week and Justin misses his kids.”

Justin rolled his eyes. As if he was the only one. He was sure that Brian missed them just as much. More even, judging by the increased frequency with which he had been calling Debbie’s house for the last three days.

“In about fifteen minutes.” Brian answered as Debbie asked him when they’d be arriving. “See you soon.”

They spent the rest of the drive in relative silence, Brian playing with Justin’s hair and Justin drawing complicated patterns on Brian’s stomach. Justin’s thoughts strayed to the lunch they’d had with Molly in their hotel restaurant before leaving for the airport.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Earlier that day

“Hey, Justin.” Molly gave her brother a hug and turned to Brian who kissed her on her cheek. “Hi, Brian.” She smiled the Taylor smile. “Sorry I couldn’t make it earlier. School’s been crazy ever since the break is over. When Mom told me you’d be coming to New York and stay for half a week I really thought we’d have time to do some shopping together.” She grinned wide and looked at Brian.

Whenever they turned out to be in New York City at the same time, it had become a habit for the two of them to go shopping together. Molly’s shopping stamina was far more superior to those of her brother who caved after two hours and whose eyes started to stray longingly towards any restaurant they’d pass.

“You’ll soon have a lot of time to shop on a regular basis.” Justin said, earning himself a very irritated look from his little sister. She looked at Brian, seeking answers.

Brian shrugged and explained the situation with Kinnetik and the reason they were in New York in the first place. He also mentioned that they’d already found a suitable property and waited for the contracts to be inspected by Ted before signing the lease on the place that was once a museum.

“A museum?! Wow. That must be something.” Molly exclaimed. “Where is it exactly?”

When Justin explained, she almost squeaked, and threatened. “Oh, god, Brian. I’m so going to come over there every couple of days after my classes. We even can have lunch together. And Justin and the girls—“ She suddenly stopped, eyes wide as saucers. “Fuck! Justin, where are you going to be? Will you stay at Britin? Brian, will you commute? And what about the twins? They’ll miss you so fucking much. You know how you’re the only one who can make Alex eat every once in a while. And Emma will pick the house apart stone by stone if you’re not there to calm her down.”

Molly, just like her brother, had the uncanny ability to talk a mile a minute. Without taking a breath. Making it impossible for someone to interrupt her excessive loquacity.

“Jesus. Slow down.” Justin told her. “I’m not going to live at Britin alone with the girls. We’re all moving here. Not for good, of course. But for however long it will take to find someone who would replace Brian, so he can go back to overseeing the things in Pittsburgh. Six months, probably more.”

“Oh, thank god. So, have you already got any idea where you’ll be staying? New York’s fucking expensive. Even the dorms here cost more than what Mom and Tucker are paying for their house. It’s fucking ridiculous. Thank god, Dad’s paying for accommodation.” As soon as it came out, she pulled a face, realizing what she just said. Looking quickly from Brian to Justin, she added, “I’m sorry, Jus. I didn’t mean to bring back old—“

“It’s okay.” Justin cut her off. “Really, I don’t care. I’m happy that he’s at least paying for your housing. I really am, believe me.”

“Okay. It’s not like we’re close or anything. I wasn’t even going to take the money when he first offered it. I know he only offered to pay because he thinks me getting a business degree is all his idea. Or that I’m doing it to please him. Anyway, as I said, I wasn’t going to take it. But then I figured that’s the least he could do after what he—“ She sighed. “So, I decided I might just as well. I sometimes think I shouldn’t. I’m kinda using him as a cash cow. Pretty bad, huh? But then I remind myself he doesn’t deserve any better. So, what the hell.”

Justin said nothing but Brian leaned over the table and placed a kiss on her cheek, whispering into her ear, “Good girl.”

Justin tried to break up the weird and slightly tense atmosphere that descended upon the table after Molly’s revelation. “So, to answer your question. Brian and I already found a beautiful three bedroom apartment with a wonderful view over Manhattan from the roof terrace.”

Molly looked wistfully at them both. “Wow, that sounds pretty amazing. Will you bring Trish or are you going to hire someone new?”

“Neither.” Brian replied.

“But I thought the third bedroom was for the live-in nanny.” Molly said in return.

“We were hoping it’s for the occasional babysitter.” Justin responded.

Molly just glared, her eyes blinking rapidly, trying to make sense of what was being said.

“How soon can you vacate your dorm room?” Brian helped.

Molly glared some more – now focusing her eyes exclusively on Brian and giving up on blinking altogether. When a few moments passed with neither of them saying a word, Molly suddenly jumped up from her seat and into Brian’s arms who managed to catch her without toppling over with his chair. The squealing and shrieking started soon after. They were drawing quite an attention from the restaurant’s crowd but Molly didn’t seem to care and Brian wasn’t interested in what other people might think anyway. That left only Justin who blushed, looking around the neighboring tables with an apologetic smile. He patted Molly on the arm, hoping to calm her down. She finally remembered that Justin was present, too, and threw herself into his arms now, not tuning down her excited shouts in the least. Brian was amused by the abundance of her delight, suddenly thinking that, since his daughters were Taylors too, this wouldn’t be the last time he would have to endure public displays of joy and affection.

“Can I see it?” Molly asked after all the squeeing had died down.

“We can drive by there after lunch,” Brian agreed.

Impatient as she was, the rest of the meal was spent firing questions at Brian and Justin about their soon to be new home. She rushed through her lunch, turning down dessert even, anxious to see the place. After Brian signed the hotel bill, they took a cab and drove to the address Brian gave the cab driver.

Molly looked around the spacious apartment, still not quite believing that soon she’d be living here; with the twins. She loved being in New York but she always missed her family – and ever since the twins were born, the two girls especially.

Once Brian and Justin had given her the tour, Molly had some conditions of her own.

“No fucking in the living room. And you’ll soundproof your bedroom. And I get the room farthest away from yours.” She grinned happily when both men agreed.

“Emma will love it here.” Molly announced finally. “So many corners to play hide and seek. Lucky for us, she doesn’t have the patience to stay hidden for long. I don’t know about Alex though. She’s really gonna miss Britin.”

Molly looked at Brian, an unsure look on her face. Alex had her comfort corners at Britin. Places she retreated to when the family invaded their place or Emma was chasing one of her dads or Trish noisily through the house, in a game of tag.

Brian nodded once. “Yes, we know. We’re hoping with you here, it will make the transition easier for her. And of course, we’re going to go back to Pittsburgh every other week to see the family. And since I won’t have to schmooze clients while we set up shop, I can take her or both girls with me when I have meetings with architects and contractors. And your brother will be there when I have to interview people for jobs. We’ll manage somehow.”

“Oh, my god, this is gonna be awesome.” Molly announced excitedly, throwing herself at her brother and Brian again, showering them with kisses.

Justin eventually pulled her away from Brian, saying, “Get your own boyfriend.”

Molly pulled a face and stuck a tongue at him. “You’re a freak. And for your information, I _have_ a boyfriend.”

“So, Robert survived the family?” Brian asked surprised.

“Yes. He said half of us are gaudy freaks with big hearts and even bigger mouths but the other half made up in class what the first lacked in tact. And I can’t believe you remember his name!” Molly laughed, obviously delighted.

Brian was slightly impressed. Maybe this Robert really wasn’t like all the other losers before him.

“Which half do you fit into?” Justin asked, continuing the conversation.

“None. I obviously am one of a kind, duh.”

Brian silently agreed.

>>><<<

 

  
Present, February 2011

“Thanks, Deb. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.” Justin said and tried to hug her with his free arm. His other was occupied, holding the sleeping form of Emma to his chest.

“Anytime, Sunshine. See all of you tomorrow.” She replied waving.

The night air was biting cold, a typical Pittsburgh February, and they had slung a thick blanket around each girl to cover the short distance between Debbie’s porch and the waiting car. Emma was so out, she didn’t even stir when Brian picked her up and passed her to Justin. Alex on the other hand, who was a very light sleeper, opened her eyes at the rustling sounds, blinking a couple of times in confusion before extending her arms towards her daddies. Brian had picked her up too, and let Justin place a soft kiss on her forehead before both men walked back downstairs.

They loosened the tightly wrapped blankets a little once inside the limousine, and gave their driver directions to take them home. Justin looked at Brian holding Alex in his lap and smiled. The scene was strangely reminiscent of another.

Brian noticed him staring and asked, “What?”

Justin glanced back and forth between Garry, the driver, reflected in the rearview mirror and Brian and Alex until Brian smiled in recognition. Garry was the one who had picked them up from the hospital once Emma was allowed to go home. And since, after spending days practically living there and thus missing Alex’s first days, Brian held her in his arms when the four of them drove home together for the first time.

“Remember when we were on our way to the hospital after Maddie called?” Justin suddenly asked.

“Yeah?” Brian drawled, not understanding.

“I’d told you that now would be a good time to decide on a name for the second girl and you said you still hadn’t picked one out. Was it true? Because when the nurse came out—” Justin paused, allowing Brian to recall the situation.

“I know.” Brian shrugged. “I hadn’t decided on a name when we drove to the hospital. It wasn’t like I couldn’t choose one; I had none to choose _from_. Not one of them seemed to fit. But when the nurse asked, it was there. It just seemed right.”

 

>>><<<

 

  
August, 2009

Once the nurse left them, promising that the doctor would be out soon and come talk to them, they remained standing in the hallway. Brian’s thoughts raced and he was desperately clinging to Justin in an effort to comfort the blond, not realizing that, despite the hell they were going through, it was Justin who was holding _him_ up.

“It’s gonna be alright, Brian. You’ll see, everything will turn out just fine. Hang in there.” Justin muttered in Brian’s ear, clinging just as desperately to Brian.

After a few minutes, the blond maneuvered them back to the row of chairs in the waiting room, sitting down beside Brian who stared at the opposite wall with a vacant expression.

Yes, things were not supposed to go this way. This was supposed to be a happy day. But Justin refused to fall apart before they had a talk with Emma’s doctor. He also wouldn’t allow Brian to dissolve in misery. They didn’t even know how serious Emma’s condition was yet, having only been born a few minutes prior; she was still being examined. Justin decided to distract Brian from the situation and poked him in the side to get his attention.

It worked and Brian’s eyes focused slowly on Justin’s.

“Alex?” Justin asked, referring to the name Brian had given the nurse.

For the past few weeks Justin had been nagging Brian, demanding to know what name the brunet decided on for the other girl, because they had been told weeks ago that the second child was a girl as well. First, Justin had thought Brian was playing him, teasing. Justin tried coercion, threats of withholding sex, persuasion. But eventually he’d just given up and waited in patience.

“Alexandria.” Brian replied and Justin nodded. “You don’t like it?” Brian asked.

“No, I do like it. I like it very much.”

“Okay. So tell me her middle name then.” Brian prodded.

Justin thought for a second, before answering, “Cayelin.”

“It’s Irish.” Brian stated.

“I know.”

Brian nodded and pulled Justin closer winding an arm around the blond’s shoulders.

“It was my mom’s idea.” Justin explained and Brian nodded again, glancing to the door every couple minutes. The fucking doctor better hurry.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Present, February 2010

Brian woke to an empty bed. He glanced towards the clock on the nightstand. Justin usually liked to sleep in on Sundays, but Brian guessed he was downstairs with his daughters. He pulled a white T-shirt over his head and grabbed a pair of sweatpants. When he came into the living room, he found Justin sitting cross-legged on the sofa in front of the fireplace, Alex in his lap while Emma played on the rug in front of them. The blond had a pensive look on his face. He turned his head when he heard Brian enter and Brian raised an eyebrow, silently asking him what the brooding was about.

Instead of answering, Justin nudged Alex in his lap and pointed his finger towards Brian, saying, “Alex, look who’s here.”

She glanced up and, eyes lighting up when she spotted Brian in the door frame, called out, “Daddy!”

Justin shook his head in disbelief.

“See?” He said. “You were ‘Dada’ when we left.”

Brian smiled a little. So, this was what was bothering his blond.

“God, Brian, they’re changing so fast. We were only gone a week and already they’ve learned a whole new set of words. This morning Emma was asking for ‘yoguut’ instead of ‘yoyo’ and when I gave her some, she tried her luck with ‘chocklate’. Not ‘chock’.”

Perking up at the mention of her favorite sweets, Emma asked, “Chocklate?”

Justin pointed at her and his eyes gaped wide open in a ‘See, what did I tell you!?’ kind of way.

“Not now, baby.” Brian told her, glancing at the watch. “You can have some after lunch.” Looking back at the blond, he addressed Justin, “So, you want me to look into chemical substances that would slow down the growing process?” He asked jokingly.

Justin had to chuckle at that. He shook his head no. “I don’t want to leave them again, Brian. I want to bring them, too, when we go somewhere. Is it too selfish of me? Dragging them along – it would be stressful for them, right? I know that, but—“ He furrowed his brows.

“Trial and error, Sunshine. We’ll start taking them with us and see how it goes.” After all, they had fared well with this specific method of raising their kids for the last one and a half years. Changing the topic, Brian added, “You three had breakfast yet?” It was admittedly late, but Brian asked nevertheless.

“The girls did, yes. I wanted to wait for you.” Justin glanced around the room making sure there were no loose objects that could be of any danger in the hands of an eighteen months old baby. When he was satisfied with his inspection, Justin placed Alex down on the white couch, passing her a few books and he and Brian left the room towards the kitchen across the hall.

They managed to get a cup of coffee each before Alex came into the room, clutching a large book to her chest. She walked up to Brian and looked up at him.

“You want me to read the book with you?” Brian asked her, reaching for the object.

“No.” She shook her head decisively.

Brian knew she was looking for a comfortable place to sit down, so he picked up his coffee and walked over to the kitchen table, putting the hot cup down. Picking up Alex, he sat down on a chair and pulled the girl onto his lap where she immediately began leafing through the brightly colored pages.

Justin watched with a smile on his face. “She missed you.” He stated.

Brian said nothing but grabbed Justin around his waist and pulled him closer. The blond bent down and kissed the offered lips. A phone rang and interrupted their late morning routine and Justin went to pick it up. Brian heard him talking on the phone in the office down the hall but couldn’t make out any particular words.

Emma strolled into the kitchen shortly after that and Brian decided to take the girls into the playroom where he could enjoy his breakfast while having an eye on the kids’ activities. Passing his home office, he let the girls walk into the playroom by themselves as he poked his head inside to see if there were any urgent messages on his desk. Whenever they went away for a few days, Trish would stack the mail and important calls in his working place. The only thing present on his desk was a fairly large, square and flat packet, wrapped in brown packaging paper. Brian smiled and took it with him into the playroom. He unwrapped the package while the twins were busy messing up their toy chest. Before Brian and Justin left for Chicago and New York, Brian had sent a drawing to be framed – one that Justin had given him, very possibly on or around Valentine’s Day.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Two months earlier, Christmas 2010

“What are you watching?” Brian asked, coming in and seeing his kids staring enraptured at the screen.

“ _A Bug’s Life_ ,” Gus answered not looking up, but moving a little to make room for his dad.

Alex stared transfixed at the colorful moving pictures, completely immersed in the program. She only moved to climb into her father’s lap when Brian sat down on the couch between her and Gus.

When Justin walked into the room an hour later, he found all of his family asleep – the TV playing an infinite loop of the DVD menu. Alex was sleeping curled up in a tight ball on Brian’s chest, Gus rested comfortably against his dad’s shoulder, one of Brian’s arms slung protectively around the boy. The picture was completed by Emma’s tiny head on Brian’s thigh; her long locks strewn all over his lap.

Justin stood in the doorframe, watching the scene with a soft smile. He carefully, so as not to disturb the sleeping quartet, reached for one of his sketch pads and sat down on the rug in front of the couch, facing Brian and the kids.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Present, February 2011

Not ten minutes after Brian finished unpacking his non-Valentine’s gift, Justin came into the room, downright bouncing with obvious good news, his smile lighting the room despite the glum weather outside.

He didn’t wait for Brian to ask him about his sudden joyous mood. “You remember that talk I had with Arianna right after the McCormack exhibit?”

Brian nodded, waiting for the explanation. Of course he remembered. Justin was positively glowing after reading the reviews raving about his work the next morning. Still, he couldn’t forget what the New York Times critic had mentioned when they met at his show and Justin had shared his apprehension with Arianna during a phone call before leaving for New York.

“You know how I was anxious some critic would really pick up the whole thing of me leaving New York City and exhibiting somewhere else and turn it into a negative review? So, Arianna suggested we look into a New York showing. She wanted to see what she could come up with.”

“And did she?”

“Yes!”

“Good?”

“Yes!”

“You’re going to tell me?”

Before answering, Justin picked up Emma and spun her around above his head. She squealed with obvious delight and Justin laughed with her. He then put Emma back down beside her sister, placing a soft kiss on Alex’s head and squeezing her briefly before throwing himself into Brian’s arms and crawling into his lap. He peppered Brian’s neck with gentle kisses, murmuring softly against the freshly shaven skin. Brian leaned his head against the backrest, granting the blond an easier access.

“Sunshine, I’m not complaining here, but if this is your way of telling me, I have to admit, I don’t understand.”

“Uh-hmm,” Justin agreed but continued to nibble on Brian’s neck.

Seeing their dads snuggle, Emma and Alex joined in and threw themselves into the mix. Justin let off of Brian so he could pull the girls into their embrace. The snuggling soon turned into tickling and bouts of laughter. Amidst the mix of limbs and blond heads, Brian sent Justin a look, telling him, “Later.” Justin nodded and continued to fool around with Brian and the girls.


	27. Chapter 27

Present, February 2011

Once every one of their extended family was situated around Deb’s kitchen table, Deb turned towards Brian and Justin with an expectant look on her face.

“Deb, maybe we should have dinner first?” Justin suggested.

“I’m not going to sit through dinner wondering what it is that you and Brian have cooked up.” Deb said resolutely.

“Ma, what’s going on?” Michael asked.

Emmett looked up from Emma who was seated in his lap and took a look around the table, finally resting his gaze on Ted. The accountant squirmed in his seat and Emmett realized whatever it was that was going on, it had to do with Kinnetik. He let his eyes wander back to Brian and Justin, fixing them with the same stare everyone else around the table was throwing their way.

Brian sighed deeply and began. “Kinnetik is expanding. We decided to open a branch in New York City.”

A chorus of cheers and congratulations erupted from the people around the table. Ben and Carl clapped Brian on the shoulder. Emmett was about to jump up and give a celebratory hug when he noticed Michael’s sullen expression and Ted’s uneasiness. When the cheering finally died down, a soberness descended as the people realized the implications of the statement. Michael was the first to speak.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you? You’re going to New York.”

“Yes.” Brian said.

“All of you?” Carl asked.

Brian and Justin both nodded.

“Well, I never thought good news could suck so much.” Deb let herself sink back in her chair with a sullen expression on her face.

“We’re not leaving for good, Deb.” Justin assured her. “Half a year maybe. One at the most.”

“A whole year?” Emmett finally voiced his thoughts. “But the girls—“ He sighed. “They’ll forget all about us.” He finished sadly, squeezing Emma to him.

“We’ll be here every other weekend.” Justin told him.

“You will?” Debbie asked.

“We’ll definitely try.” Brian promised her.

“Baby, why don’t you stay here, with the kids?” Emmett asked Justin.

Brian was quick to answer. “No! It’s either we all go or nobody does. Besides, Justin has some business there to attend to also.”

“What business? Another show?” Debbie demanded to know.

“Not exactly.” Justin replied mysteriously. He tried to suppress the smile that was trying to break out before explaining. “I was offered to do a mural for a new contemporary art museum. For their lobby.” Justin finally let his smile break out full force.

“Wow, Justin, that’s huge.” Ben was the first to recover from the news. “Congratulations. A museum – that’s… wow.”

“Thanks. It’s not like they’re hanging one of my pictures for everyone to see,” he added with an uncharacteristic shy smile, “but it is a museum and it’s gonna be there for as long as the museum exists. So, yeah, that’s pretty cool.”

“Jesus Fuck, Sunshine. I can’t believe it.” Debbie finally found her voice. “Why didn’t you tell us before?”

“I didn’t know. I was so focused on having my drawings shown, I didn’t think about what the New York art world would think about me abandoning them and apparently the large scale works I’ve became known for.” Justin cringed on the ‘abandoning them’ part. “I didn’t even realize some people would see it that way until that art critic from New York mentioned it to me. So I had a talk with Arianna and she told me she’d see what she could do. I never ever dreamed this would be what she’d come up with.”

“Back with a vengeance.” Brian inserted.

Justin gave him a smile and concluded, “And she only told me this morning. I really had no idea.”

“Our baby’s going to be famous.” Emmett sighed with an expression that one would expect to see on a mother’s face when realizing her children had grown up.

“He already is, Em.” Michael supplied, referring to the rising success of Rage comic books, Justin had no doubt.

“You know what I mean. Soon fans will be wanting an autograph or will camp in front of Britin, hoping to catch a glimpse or a photograph of him.” Everybody had to chuckle at that.

“I don’t think artists have groupies, Em. But thank you.” Justin said.

“They would if they’d all look like you.” Emmett muttered.

“So, when are you leaving?” Drew wanted to know.

“Not too sure yet. A month, maybe. Six weeks tops. The place we leased for Kinnetik is in very good conditions. Aside from a couple dividing walls, there’s not much that needs to be done there, which shouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks. Right, Theodore?”

Ted nodded his head. “The contractors already provided a schedule. Four weeks at the very most.”

“Our place will be furnished in that time, also. A couple of weeks after that, Molly finishes her semester and will be ready to move in.” Brian recounted.

“Molly?” Deb perked up.

“Yes. She’s moving in with us. We’re going to need some help with the twins occasionally and I know that she really won’t mind. She’s actually very happy to do it.”

“But you will still need a day nanny, won’t you? What with you working on the mural and Brian in the new office.” Emmett said.

“Actually, most of the work for the mural I’ll be able to do from home. Since the actual building isn’t done with the renovations yet. I need to have a motif ready. The actual painting job will need to be done in three weeks’ time. That’s how long it will take between the completion and opening. So, most of the time I’ll be able to spend at home.”

Again a silence descended upon the table as the family members contemplated the upcoming changes in their lives until Debbie remembered the tons of Italian food waiting to be devoured and urged everyone to fill their plates.

 

>>><<<

 

  
After the meal, the guests relocated to the living room, some sitting on the sofa or the recliner, others stretching out their legs while sitting on the floor. Alex was lightly napping on Brian’s shoulder while Emma and Emmett entertained the rest of them with their hide-and-seek game. When Justin stood up and excused himself to go up to the bathroom, Michael got up a few moments after and followed him upstairs. 

He leaned against the wall across from the bathroom door and waited for Justin to exit.

When the door opened, Justin let out a swear. “Fuck, Michael. You scared the shit out of me.” He took a breath to calm himself.

“Sorry.” Michael grinned impishly. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me? What for?” The blond asked with a confused look on his face.

“For not letting Brian go by himself. I don’t know if he says it, it’s really none of my business, but just in case that he doesn’t – he really wants you around, _needs_ you around. So, thank you for going with him. For not leaving him. Again.” Michael couldn’t stop himself from adding that last bit.

When understanding dawned on Justin’s face, he looked his partner’s best friend firmly in the eye and said, “Michael, I left many times. But I never left _him_. Period.” He took a breath. “And I never could.”

Michael gave him a tight smile and nodded once in agreement before stepping around him and entering the bathroom himself. Justin turned towards the stairs but as he made the corner, he almost collided with Brian’s chest.

“What are you doing here?” Justin asked surprised.

“Waiting for you.” Brian responded. He wound an arm around Justin’s shoulders and pressed his lips softly on his temple. “Let’s go home?”

“Yeah.” Justin agreed, wondering how much of the conversation Brian had overheard.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Justin peeked at the rear mirror and adjusted it a little to see Emma and Alex, both strapped into their child safety seats, slowly quieting down and almost falling asleep under the lull of the hushed noise of the car’s engine. Glancing in Brian’s direction, he noticed the older man relaxing into his front seat while rubbing the back of his neck. It was finally over. Well, actually, it was only starting – they had to hire movers to have some of the heavy and bulky stuff packed and moved to New York; there would be meetings with free-lancers; contracts would need to be signed; tons of stuff to do – but in a way, the stress was finally over and live was slowly getting back to its usual crazy routine. They’d found a place, convinced Molly to temporarily move in with them – though, as expected, it was easier than taking candy from a baby – and they’d told the family which for both of them was the task they shied away from the most. Surprisingly, even Jennifer reacted very well to the news, stating that now she’d have one reason more to fly out to the city. 

Yes, crazy times lay ahead, but the most important thing for Justin was, that they were finally back on track again; working towards the same goal with no secrets from each other. Justin smiled and couldn’t stifle a happy sigh.

Brian’s head lolled lazily on the headrest towards the blond, a quizzically raised eyebrow in place.

Keeping his eyes on the road, Justin asked, “Hot tub?”

Brian moaned in the back of his throat. “Sunshine, you read my mind.”

They were only a short distance from Britin; Justin could almost see their street through the thick snow that was coming down steadily. The blond slid his hand across the middle console separating the two front seats and rested it on top of Brian’s, his fingers weaving between the other man’s. Brian squeezed them gently in response and turned his head to glance at the twins. They were lazily playing with each other’s fingers, each staring out her side window. Brian smiled and looked at the blond, not uttering a word. Justin returned the look, the corners of his mouth pulling up in a soft smile as he pulled up in their driveway. Oh, yes, they were home.

“Help me get the girls upstairs. While I give them a bath and put them in bed, you can start on the hot tub.” Brian suggested, motioning for Justin to grab Emma.

“Come on, baby girl.” Justin bent down to pick up his daughter.

“No, Daddy.” Emma shook her head. “No baby.”

“Oh, right. My fault. You’re not a baby anymore; you’re a big girl. Sorry.” Justin amended with a deadpan serious expression.

Emma seemed willing to accept the apology and extended her tiny arms towards her daddy to be pulled from the child seat.

Alex looked up into Brian’s face, staring right at him with her huge sky blue eyes. “Ales no baby too. Big’url.”

“Of course, you’re a big girl, too, Sweetheart.” Brian smiled as he followed Justin inside with his precious package safely wrapped in his arms.

In the twins’ nursery, Justin pressed a soft kiss on Brian’s lips and promised to wait for him in their bathroom, with a hot tub ready.

After he left, Brian drew a bath for the girls and made quick work of getting them bed-ready. They were almost asleep by the time he got them into their pajamas and their respective beds. Pressing a last kiss to each forehead, he switched on the blue nightlight and left in search of his blond.

Entering the bathroom, he looked around, but found no sign of his partner. The tub was waiting, steam rising from the water in invitation, and Brian shed all of his clothes, deciding not to wait for Justin. The blond would know where to look for him. He only managed to lower himself into the deep bathtub as Justin emerged in the doorframe, carrying a small tray with candles.

The blond caught Brian’s look and smirked sheepishly. “I like the soft lighting,” he offered as an excuse.

Brian shrugged and watched as Justin went about to place the candles on various surfaces in the bathroom and lighted them before he finally stepped out of his clothes as well and joined Brian in the water.

He sighed in deep content as the warmth surrounded him and he sat back to lean against Brian’s chest, nested comfortably between the brunet’s spread legs. Closing their eyes, they both remained silent for a while and just enjoyed each other’s company. Eventually Brian grabbed a soft sponge and started washing Justin’s chest. Justin’s hands caressed Brian’s knees and thighs around his own hips and sighed quietly as he felt Brian’s erection fill and poke him in the small of his back. After a few minutes, he lifted up slightly so Brian’s cock would slide into his crevice. Justin squirmed a little until the tip of Brian’s hardness was pressing exactly against his entrance. Enjoying the constant pressure on his hole, he leaned back again and resumed the slow stroking, letting his fingers run up and down the length of Brian’s legs.

Brian nibbled lightly on an earlobe while drawing circles around the blond’s navel. He wasn’t in any hurry to speed things up. He felt perfectly content just sitting there in the water, with his partner warm and solid against his chest and in his arms. Justin tensed suddenly, and in the next second, Brian felt him push down, felt the blond’s opening give a little, so the very tip of his cock slid inside just a tiny bit. They both relaxed again until Justin made himself open up more and allowed another fraction of an inch inside his body.

“You want me to get the lube?” Brian murmured quietly in Justin’s ear, already reaching for the oil-based lubricant that they kept handy for whenever they felt the urge to fuck underwater.

“No.” Justin shook his head. “Don’t wanna fuck. Just wanna be close to you.”

He relaxed his body more, taking Brian further inside on each push down, making slow progress; the water surrounding them not making things easier but knowing they had all the time in the world. It took him a few minutes, but eventually all of Brian’s length was imbedded within the artist’s channel, the firm walls gripping tightly and holding the brunet inside. Justin squirmed from side to side a little, finding the perfect spot in Brian’s crotch for his lush bottom. He loved being stuffed full of Brian. He always experienced a sense of wholeness when he could feel himself wrapped snugly around his lover.

“They took it well, don’t you think?” Justin asked.

Brian almost rolled his eyes. _Now_ he wanted to have a meaningful conversation? However, he complied. “Yeah, well, we’re not leaving for good. So, why wouldn’t they?”

Brian burrowed his face into Justin satin-soft strands.

The blond spent the next half an hour recounting all the things they would miss out on while living in New York for the better part of the still new year. “We won’t be there when Linds moves back with Gus,” Justin stated.

“He can come and spend the summer with us in New York. That way, Lindsay would have the time to get settled in. I bet she’d even appreciate us taking care of him for the time it would take her to get everything in order.”

“When did you become the optimist in this family?” Justin asked in jest.

Brian thought back on Michael and Justin’s conversation he overheard earlier that evening and a calming feeling spread through his body warming him from the inside and suddenly he felt something clicking, settling into place. Like a cog in a wheel that’s been grating all these years, had now found its perfect position, making the machinery run smoothly.

He smiled into Justin’s neck and couldn’t resist running the tip of his tongue along the expanse of creamy-white skin. Justin shivered and despite the hot water and the warmth of Brian’s arms around him, his skin erupted in goose bumps. He clenched his muscles involuntarily, almost forgetting that Brian’s cock was still seated deep within him. Brian growled at the pressure working around his hard shaft, making him grow even larger.

Justin felt it; the expanding girth pressing against his walls, stretching him from the inside. He moaned and tried to move, but Brian was simply too big and the friction due to the lack of lube was uncomfortably painful. Justin sat back down again, burrowing his face between Brian’s neck and shoulder. He concentrated on his inner muscles and began to contract them rhythmically. Brian released another groan that rumbled through Justin’s body.

Justin let a hand wander between his own legs, past his own very stiff cock and down to Brian’s balls. Kneading them very carefully in his palm, he continued to work his lover’s erection in time with his stroking.

Brian’s eyes almost rolled back and he grabbed Justin’s chin roughly with one hand and turned his face so he could attack the luscious lips. He slid his tongue into the welcoming cavern, fucking it like he would the blond’s hole. He came like this – still thrusting inside Justin’s mouth, making the blond swallow all his moans and groans while he emptied himself into the artist.

When Justin felt the hot fluid shoot out and pool around Brian’s dick inside his tight channel, he began to writhe, smearing the narrow passage so he could start to move up and down his partner’s hard pole, milking the last drops of orgasm out of him.

When Brian was in control of his limbs again, he wrapped his fist around Justin’s stiffness to bring the blond to completion as well. The moment Justin felt Brian’s hand on his sensitive flesh, he exploded into a myriad of brightly colored shards, sagging against the tall body, holding him safe.

 

>>><<<

 

  
Brian slid closer onto the almost sleeping blond who lay on his stomach atop the blankets and pillows, covering the younger man half with his body, his chest pressed against the creamy skin of Justin’s back, the upper leg molded into Justin’s bent one. 

His mind was suddenly assaulted by other nights spent in a similar position. Nights from a long time ago, when Justin would wake up screaming from nightmares and Brian would watch, helpless; Jennifer’s words ringing fresh in his ears, ‘ _He won't let anyone touch him, won't let anyone near him.’_ Nights, where he would learn exactly what Jennifer must have felt like. But there was also the memory of this other night where, instead of turning away from him, Justin reached out for him and pulled him closer until his body covered Justin’s completely. This one night when he found that his body could help Justin, could make him feel safe. Brian realized that these memories had no hold of his mind any longer. The edges were already blurred and the threat they once carried was long gone. These were shadows of the past. They stood no chance against something as bright as Sunshine.

Justin sighed as he felt Brian relax so completely; feeling absolutely and perfectly content with the soft sheets and pillows underneath him and Brian’s warm and pleasantly heavy body above. Every one of Brian’s exhales stroked his ear and neck, making goose bumps appear all over his upper body with a gentle sensation. Brian’s fingers were kneading his scalp and he felt deliciously sleepy and mellow, enjoying the feel of Brian’s knee resting warm against his balls. He couldn’t remember a moment in his life where he had felt more content, or serene. He sighed again – the sound a perfect reflection of his state of mind as he dared to ask the question he now knew the answer to.

“So, you’re still waiting for the storm?” His voice a little muffled by the pillow.

Brian took a moment to think about it. “No.” He finally said, seemingly surprised by his own answer. “The weather’s gonna hold.”

  
The End.


End file.
